So, what started as a joke is now a reality. I now have the free time to do this, so I’d like to start hosting liveblogs purely for the sake of it. These one-offs won’t have reviews. This is just for us to watch things totally spoiled and yell and flail and post GIFs. And what better thing to do this with than Jurassic Park, one of the greatest movies in the history of the world?
IT’S HERE. JURASSIC PARK LIVEBLOG.
Image by the lovely and talented Melissa/beepbeeprobot.
EDIT: SO. My hosting service went down completely on January 29th, so the liveblog has now been moved a week later. I hope y’all can come!
This is not a review. This is just a chance for us to all hang out for a couple hours and have a good time. It’s like a field trip for Mark Watches! Except we chose to go to the local theater, take it over, and now we’re going to yell at the screen.
This liveblog will start at 11:00am PST on Sunday, FEBRUARY 5TH. Please consult a world clock to determine what time that is for where you live! At exactly that time, we will all start our DVDs, streams, downloads FROM THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF THE UNIVERSAL LOGO. That means you may need to start the movie before hand and then pause it as soon as it appears on the screen.
The rest is simple. Comment. GIF. Yell. ALL-CAPS. Laugh. Cry. Realize Laura Dern is a better person than you are. Desire sex with Jeff Goldblum. WHATEVER. It’s a party, and you’re all invited.
There will be more of these in the future. You are so not prepared.
love this part
love this movie
Technically the dinosaurs aren't… born as much as hatched?
OH GOD I FORGOT SAMUEL L. JACKSON WAS IN THIS.
come on HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS
Aww, a bloody little T-Rex!
HAHAHAHA! IMPRINTING!
Twilight flashbacks.
twilight would have been much better if there were dinosaurs in it
and they ate everyone
And there was much rejoicing!
this is why I'm so mutinous about lines
wait, I just heard Samuel L. Jackson say something and it didn't have the word "motherf***er" in it!
BABY RAPTOR HATCHING. SO CUTE. The squeaks!
can i just say how much i love practical effects
Does John Hammond remind anyone of Hagrid?
cuz he loves animals and has no sense? yes. he's like a petite hagrid
This scene > videos of human birth, I swear.
bd wong!
come on little one!
Late but here. We're at the dino birth, right? 😀
yup!
Right.
i want a baby dino!!
aww, cute little monster
Foreshadow much Goldblum?
man these people are terrible scientists, there are all kinds of species that can change sex for the purpose of breeding
I love Jeff Goldblum in a variety of diverse and inappropriate ways. 🙂
don't we all 🙂
Agreed
WELL, THERE IT IS.
Oh god, that poor cow! The sound alone is painful.
"Life…finds a way." DRINK.
i love his little spiel
HAHAHAHA his expression
love ian's life will find a way speech
I love you BD, but don't fight him. He's is perfect and beautiful
ugggg that screech is awful
Om nom cow :S
Grant is like, "Y'ALL FUCKERS YOU SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP WITH THIS PLAN FUCKING VELOCIRAPTORS."
I lvoe the EXTREME CLOSE-UPS on sam neill
I like how Grant is all excited about the T-Rex but HOLY SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU about raptors.
Thank you, Spielberg, for that nice shot of Sam Neill's ass.
poor cow 🙁
THE COW
Muldoon, the voice of reason.
i love how we don't see the raptors, this is how you build suspense people.
muldoon!!
AHAHAA The switch between Sattler and Grant's expressions. Her: Ew. Him: *orgasms*
look at those fucking shorts
P.S. That was me who just got eaten.
Who is hungry? Yea, I'm glad I'm only eating potato babies right now.
omg the look on hammond's face watching sam neill…he's hungry for paleontologists
THE NORTH REMEMBERS.
short shorts, leg up, focusing on the important thiiiings
So we have super fast, brutal, and SMART dinosaurs? Good plan guys!
ASDKFLA;S the raptors are so cool
Damn replacing those things just to feed the dinosaurs has to be expensive
These animals have the right to enjoy everyone in the world? :p
who the hell can afford to spend $10,000 a day??
i love the slide projectors, so low tech
HAHAHA I can't wait until you're eaten.
Crap – I just woke up – how many minutes into the movie is everyone?
36 as of this post
yay cueing to 37
about 36 minutes
Ugh, why would you want all of those projectors in your eyes?
yes, gennaro, ALL children deserve to be eaten by dinos
yay, dino-communism!
Remind me to tell y'all about the time I was cramming for finals in college, stayed up 2 nights in a row on a diet of mountain dew and snickers bars, and to get me over the hump on the last night my roommate gave me stackers, and then when I was walking to my room at 5am I thought velociraptors were hunting me.
Okay I don't care how foolish Hammond is. He's like a child, he wants to show his dream to everyone regardless of how much money they have.
"This park was not built to cater only to the super-rich."
Dude, you're on an island in central america. There are certain financial barriers right there, man.
Goldblum THAT IS HOW ALL SCIENCE WORKS
i mean for real Ian Malcolm is the best character ever.
Plus the little drawl on the way he says dinosaurs is so asdfghjkll
Mathematician dude you are the only sensible person in this movie it seems, I like you
everyone stands on the shoulders of geniuses, dude
see, goldblum is the best because he's ridiculously attractive BUT i manage to pay attention to what he's saying! he's a gift from god
or drunk country musicians…
SG;KJDFA[KJLKASAAAA WHY DID I FORGET THE GROSS RAPE ANALOGY
seriously, bluh
i know 🙁 i forgot about it too
YES Laura Dern, THINK OF THE PLANTS!
SHE IS THE BEST
<3
I know theories have changed, but I don't think you can really call a meteorite or something catastrophic as nature "selecting them for extinction", Malcolm.
Yes of course they should have been able to evolve without all their normal food sources and cope with toxic dust clouds!
Yes, let kids into the scary park. Nothing will go wrong, right?
He never liked the grandkids anyway…
"And the only one I've got on my side is the bloodsucking lawyer." LOL.
If you put him in amber right away, you could probably clone sea bass at some point.
HAHAHAHAHAHA LET'S BRING KIDS TO THE ISLAND. TOTALLY NOT A BAD IDEA.
YES, BRING YOUR CHILDREN TO VISIT THE DINOSAURS. EXCELLENT IDEA
PS: I will wet myself in fear during the T-Rex attack sequence.
When I was a kid I always wanted a sequel staring Tim & Lexie where they inherit the island and have to go back to do something or whatever.
I wish my grandfather would buy my love with dinosaurs
OH MY GOD TOUCHSCREEN CD-ROM AMAZING.
ahhh interactive cd-rom 90's tech how i love you
CD-ROM!
HHAHAHAHAAH. That little kid represents every fandom ever
I READ YOUR BOOK
I WATCH YOUR SHOW
I LOVE YOUR BLOG
get it, Ian
why does tim have an ascot?
Stupid recording from TV. I think I'm slightly off from y'all. Boooooo.
how far off? i'm a bit behind some people
Luckily everyone shouted "HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS" so I was able to catch up a bit.
I actually have to leave soon (my life is tragic) so I'm just doing my best until my ride arrives.
nyoooooooooooooo!! 🙁
I know :((((((
I realize that all that I believe about dinosaur evolution I learned from the clear blue piercing eyes of Dr. Alan Grant.
awww, i love the way he says "whichever one you are" <3 it's so sweet
OMG I wanted one of those Ford Explorers so bad. Like with that paint job and everything.
AS one of the guys on the Down in Front podcast mentioned, why would you have cars for a ride that's automatically controlled and *keep the steering wheels* in them?
Oh man, Tim is such an adorable little geek, and Grant's awkwardness is likewise adorable.
oh God how very quickly technology dates nowadays.
d'aww
the lawyer deserves it
Hahah Laura Dern is awesome! here, you must ride with the child!
Ellie <3
Kid, have you ever looked at a chicken leg/ostritch foot/skeleton of an emu and compared it to dinosaur bones? YOU WILL SHIT YOUR PANTS THEY TOTALLY LOOK SIMILAR
I love how he's fanboying over dinosaurs though. Accurate picture of everyone at some stage in their life
Dinosaurs are fucking awesome. As a child I was obsessed with them. When I gained younger sibilings I was SO DISAPPOINT that they were completely uninterested. How can you not love dinosaurs? THEY ARE LIKE ALL FANTASY MONSTERS EXCEPT THEY WERE REAL.
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS
"Hold onto your butts." DRINK.
I DO NOT NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO DRINK
Florida has far worse inhabitants than raptors, tbh
YESSSSSSSS
THE BEST SENTENCE IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
They are so excited like kids in a candy store!
But they are the candy!
Yes people are dinosaur candy!
Spared no expense count: 2
Oh no, it's at least three or four by now.
hahahaha we bred dinos that can kill you
Um, spitting poison? Again, I have a feeling this won't end well…
yep that was my thought