So, what started as a joke is now a reality. I now have the free time to do this, so I’d like to start hosting liveblogs purely for the sake of it. These one-offs won’t have reviews. This is just for us to watch things totally spoiled and yell and flail and post GIFs. And what better thing to do this with than Jurassic Park, one of the greatest movies in the history of the world?
IT’S HERE. JURASSIC PARK LIVEBLOG.
Image by the lovely and talented Melissa/beepbeeprobot.
EDIT: SO. My hosting service went down completely on January 29th, so the liveblog has now been moved a week later. I hope y’all can come!
This is not a review. This is just a chance for us to all hang out for a couple hours and have a good time. It’s like a field trip for Mark Watches! Except we chose to go to the local theater, take it over, and now we’re going to yell at the screen.
This liveblog will start at 11:00am PST on Sunday, FEBRUARY 5TH. Please consult a world clock to determine what time that is for where you live! At exactly that time, we will all start our DVDs, streams, downloads FROM THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF THE UNIVERSAL LOGO. That means you may need to start the movie before hand and then pause it as soon as it appears on the screen.
The rest is simple. Comment. GIF. Yell. ALL-CAPS. Laugh. Cry. Realize Laura Dern is a better person than you are. Desire sex with Jeff Goldblum. WHATEVER. It’s a party, and you’re all invited.
There will be more of these in the future. You are so not prepared.
Bet they wish they had an enchanted Ford Anglia that could help them right about now.
"I think this was Gennarro." "I think this was, too." EEEEW.
I just like saying MUL DOOOOOOOOON
i like saying sassy aussie in short shorts
"Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend"
Again we need the water to notice the T-Rex is coming, the noise is not enough. It could be anything.
t-rex unbuttoned his shirt
I <3 t-rex
"Think they'll have that on the tour?"
Only if you're there, dahling!
i agree <3 i love her
"Please chance it" ahahaha
she got down there real quick
Hooo that is one big footprint!
OH SHIT. IT'S COMING.
PLEASE CONTINUE NARRATING YOUR LIFE.
They should release an in-character audio commentary by Goldblum/Malcolm for some future anniversary edition Blu-Ray.
Greatest visual gag in the history of anything ever. Ever.
THIS SCENE IS SO TERRIFYING!!!
HOW IS HE NOT SHITTING HIMSELF
MUST GO FASTER
UGH THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING GOOD
AGREED How did I never see it before now?!
I cannot imagine watching this movie for the first time right now. Though I'm sure it would be awesome. 😀
It is pretty great!
"Must go faster."
Also her screaming "Shiiiiiiiit!" is always one of the funniest parts of watching this on TV, as invariably they dub something else in.
"This is what you get when you find a stranger in the Alps!"
"Must go faster" is one of my favorite deliveries of movie history.
HOW ARE YOU SO CALM, MULDOON??
Also I still think of this movie every damn time I see that "Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear" on car mirrors. 😀
Did Sam Neill actually do that? Bless him.
LOL IIRC from the making of book (which I read so many times when I was 13 it was falling apart GOD SUCH A NERD) it was actually someone else.
Can we just actually have a park of singing herbivorous dinosaurs? It would be the best thing evar!
How can you even think of sleep now? I would never be able to sleep in my life.
Hahaha dino jokes are adorable!
I always assumed the Tim & Lexie's dad was horrible and I just wanted Alan to adopt them and be their father and protect them forever and everyone would live happily ever after.
I may have projected some father-issues on my movies as a kid. (*cough*Not just as a kid.*cough*)
Dear god the jokes, soo bad
ugh sam neill <3
awww so sweet :')
i had that red lunchbox
LOL at the stellar dinosaur jokes
"Take a look at the merchandise we'll have at Target when the movie comes out!"
The pillar things in the cafeteria are really fucking cool
I thought a better punchline for the "What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?" joke would be "Splat."
fleas on parade!
"Who better to get the children through Jurassic Park than a dinosaur expert?"
He has a point, but considering how little we knew/still know about dinosaur behaviour, etc., that's not all that comforting.
Hammond is eating his feelings. 🙁
I just spent five minutes looking through arctic_hare's history for this:
<img src="http://i40.tinypic.com/23hnl2r.gif">
This is a very productive use of time and I mean that.
that was posted so long ago too!
thank raptor jesus for lulls in the action
Five minutes well spent!
Something they can see…and touch…and be eaten by.
whatever, playing god always ends well
GRANT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T FALL ASLEEP.
Also there was another "spared no expense". DRINK.
VEGGIESAURUS
it just wants to be friends!
They should ride it back to the visitor's center.
that would be an amazing ending
My main two exposures to Sam Niel are this movie, and The Tudors. IT'S VERY CONFUSING TO GO BETWEEN THEM.
See this would be all so very cute and adorable if it was real so long as they stayed away from making the predators. I wanna cuddle with Littlefoot!
EWWWWWWW dino snot!
Veggisaur schmeggisaur, it's still friggin scary!!!
Yes and it could still kill you even if it doesn't eat you.
Exactly!!!
It could pull you off a tree when you're holding on to a branch it's trying to eat, for instance. I'm surprised that didn't happen.
seriously why did he do that?!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew covered in dinosaur boogers. I would need to bathe in all the Lysol after that.
Girl child (Lex?) is awesome!
Shouldn'y that have pulled him out of the tree?
dino snot!
poor lex
stop denying her identity, dino-geek
who am i kidding, i loved dinosaurs when i was a kid
Perhaps you should have tried to reboot your system BEFORE you created the dinosaurs? It just seems like a thing to do, no? Just to see what happens? Just once? No?
No seriously WHY would you fill in the DNA gaps with an amphibian???? IT MAKES NO SENSE
This reminds me of one Dexter's Laboratory episode, where Dexter cloned a T-rex with a dog's brain (cause that's the part that was missing).
I suppose the answer is: "Why not?" If you're playing god anyway…
YES KEEP POSING SEXILY SIR.
MY BODY IS READY.
AS IS MINE
Tiny baby dinosaur footprints!!!!! <3<3<3<3
BABY DINOSAURS oh gosh I hope they are friendly herbivore babies and not hungry hungry carnivore babies
Seriously WHY DID THEY USE FROGS amphibians aren't even that closely related to dinosaurs
hang on wait what what is that Samuel L Jackson how did I not realise this earlier?!?!
He just wants these motherfucking dinosaurs off of this motherfucking pl… island.
it's the best movie ever. of course he's in it
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS.
I love the last scene of the book, with the dinosaurs off the island specifically eating things rich in lysine.
Me too. I should re-read those books again some time. I loved those.
Oh cool, like lentils? :p There was recently a big thing in NZ about GMO corn with high lysine designed for animal feed (LY038 iirc) being approved for import, maybe this was a problem cause secretly we have a dinosaur park!
PEOPLE
ARE
DYING
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS.
so good, they had to do it twice
god, so much complaining, tim
Yes, let's put the circuit breakers that need to be restored if everything goes off–including the fences–at the OTHER END OF THE COMPOUND.
NOBODY IN CHARGE HERE HAS A MOLECULE OF COMMON SENSE
Someone's probably already said this, but Viserys Targaryen would go crazy over Jurassic Park.
<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls42hqnLbd1r3oc7fo1_r1_400.gif">
STAMPEDE! IN THE GORGE!
SAM NEILL'S DOWN THERE!
Hey, that's the part of Hawaii where my dad is buried! NEAT.
IIRC there's some seriously lulzy footage of the computer graphics people running around like gallimimuses in the making-of documentary.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/kfRVs.gif">
i love him
I am with Lex on this. "YES HOW VERY FASCINATING LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT"
I DON'T THIS COUNTS AS A DELAY.
FENTON!!! FEEEENTOOON!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GRSbr0EYYU
HAHA that's exactly what i thought of too
DISNEYLAND DID NOT OPEN IN 1956! My inner Disney Nerd is annoyed now.
"Yeah but if Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists." Still laugh at that line.
he has the best lines
[youtube T9w7I507D6E http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9w7I507D6E youtube]
So now you bring out the guns.
Do those even work on dinosaurs? Because if they have a skin like a rhino, then not all bullets can pierce it. most don't..
Then again, given how much work they put in their safety systems so far…
love you so much elle
Elle, be my wife.
no way, Ellie's my soulmate
YES. BADASS ELLIE.
"We can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back."
HOW DOES HE KNOW?
ELLE MY HERO
Ruunning does not seem like a good idea. OH SHIT.
This convinced me when I saw it that Muldoon was a distant less-eccentric and funny cousin of Steve Irwin.
this part was so weird in the book, with her gymnastics through the forest
i'm literally imagining ellie doing handsprings
it's awesome
I WANT TO BE ELLIE WHEN I GROW UP.
My work has a basement that sometimes reminds me of this.
HAHAHA best troll evar
my favorite
the original troll
Grant, you sadistic bastard.
TIME FOR THE KID TO GET ZAPPED
I just realized that I have never bothered to learn the precocious dino-kid;s name
Tim.
tim
Some call him… Tim?
really?
dammit, i'm most of the way through a bottle of win, and monty python doesn't immediately register anymore
Greetings, Tim the Enchanter!
I LOVE YOU.
Oh god she's about to turn the power on SUSPENSE
climb faster!!!!
GUYS GUYS HURRY UP
[youtube 2a4gyJsY0mc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a4gyJsY0mc youtube]
Damn Spielberg really knows how to work the suspense in this movie.
I always picture this scene whenever I get to push large buttons.
i love the music here
Oh shit don't electrocute the kid!