Mark Watches ‘Jurassic Park’: Liveblog

So, what started as a joke is now a reality. I now have the free time to do this, so I’d like to start hosting liveblogs purely for the sake of it. These one-offs won’t have reviews. This is just for us to watch things totally spoiled and yell and flail and post GIFs. And what better thing to do this with than Jurassic Park, one of the greatest movies in the history of the world?

IT’S HERE. JURASSIC PARK LIVEBLOG.

Image by the lovely and talented Melissa/beepbeeprobot.

EDIT: SO. My hosting service went down completely on January 29th, so the liveblog has now been moved a week later. I hope y’all can come!

This is not a review. This is just a chance for us to all hang out for a couple hours and have a good time. It’s like a field trip for Mark Watches! Except we chose to go to the local theater, take it over, and now we’re going to yell at the screen.

This liveblog will start at 11:00am PST on Sunday, FEBRUARY 5TH. Please consult a world clock to determine what time that is for where you live! At exactly that time, we will all start our DVDs, streams, downloads FROM THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF THE UNIVERSAL LOGO. That means you may need to start the movie before hand and then pause it as soon as it appears on the screen.

The rest is simple. Comment. GIF. Yell. ALL-CAPS. Laugh. Cry. Realize Laura Dern is a better person than you are. Desire sex with Jeff Goldblum. WHATEVER. It’s a party, and you’re all invited.

There will be more of these in the future. You are so not prepared.

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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1,091 Responses to Mark Watches ‘Jurassic Park’: Liveblog

  1. @bonez565 says:

    i so wanted those night vision glasses as a kid

  2. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    FUCK YES IT'S COMING.

  3. dazyndara says:

    Aah the water is shaking!

  4. kelseyofcake says:

    soundtrack to my nightmares

  5. Karen says:

    BOOM. BOOM.

  6. giishu says:

    Be afraid. Be very afraid!

  7. monkeybutter says:

    I wanna be in the drinking car…it's the only way I could cope with what's to come

  8. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    i'm sorry this is the most genius way to develop suspense in the modern world.

  9. dazyndara says:

    Oh no the goat is gone!

  10. monkeybutter says:

    YES

    I LOVE THIS PART

    SHIT GETS REAL

  11. dazyndara says:

    Oh, there it is :S

  12. settlingforhistory says:

    Yes kid, it's a good idea to finally close the car door.

  13. knut_knut says:

    BEST ENTRANCE EVER

  14. giishu says:

    "Maybe it's the power trying to come back on."

    Yes. Because you know how you can hear the power coming back on after a blackout? What?

  15. dazyndara says:

    HE WENT INTO A TOILET THIS MEANS HE:S GONNA DIE!

  16. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    HE LEFT US HE LEFT US.

  17. monkeybutter says:

    yessssssss t-rex

  18. kelseyofcake says:

    AND THEN I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR AGES. T-rex terrified me as a kd!

  19. dazyndara says:

    Oh shit that's a giant angry dinosaur!

  20. Karen says:

    Why the hell would you have bathrooms near the T-REx paddock? That implies people can GET OUT OF THE CARS.

  21. knut_knut says:

    AKSDF;AJSD THE T-REX AND HER LITTLE ARMS

  22. Oh my God, I need to see this in a movie theater again.

    • Karen says:

      They just showed it in select movie theatres in Canada yesterday. I wasn't close enough to one to go. THIS FILLS ME WITH SUCH ANGST.

  23. knut_knut says:

    NO, LEX NO, STOP

  24. dazyndara says:

    Don't eat the kids!

  25. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    THIS STILL FREAKS ME OUT

  26. monkeybutter says:

    DAMMIT SAM, THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH THE KIDS

  27. kelseyofcake says:

    Didn't t-rex have forward-facing eyes, making its eyesight really good? Or am I remembering my science wrong?

  28. Shiyiya says:

    Oh god slightly terrified STAY IN THE CARS METAL ISN'T FOOD I'm glad it's like noon

  29. monkeybutter says:

    AGH

  30. monkeybutter says:

    THE EYE

  31. monkeybutter says:

    I love lex's face

  32. settlingforhistory says:

    Cars, the surprise eggs for dinos! "Warning, does contain little parts."

  33. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    UGH WHO NEARLY DIED THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW THIS

  34. knut_knut says:

    SO FUCKING TERRIFYING

  35. giishu says:

    T-rexes hate canned food. Fact!

  36. That is one hell of a sunroof.

  37. knut_knut says:

    i love how malcolm's side is all fogged up

  38. tzikeh says:

    An eminently appropriate punishment for adults who abandon children, imo.

  39. kelseyofcake says:

    THAT FUCKING ROAR

  40. monkeybutter says:

    <img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lywj3oNOQp1qbtqg0o1_500.gif"&gt;
    I'm legit terrified of my sunroof caving in

  41. Karen says:

    GO GRANT! <3<3<3

  42. monkeybutter says:

    SAMN NEILL CLOSE UP

  43. knut_knut says:

    BAMF

  44. monkeybutter says:

    IAN MALCOLM CLOSE UP

    I love his two first names

  45. kelseyofcake says:

    MALCOLM YOU IDIOT HE WAS GOING AWAY

  46. As a kid, during this scene I would sit next to the television, close my eyes, and cover my ears. I wouldn't leave the room because I still wanted to watch the rest of the movie. JUST NOT THIS PART

  47. monkeybutter says:

    dammit, ian, don't be a hero

  48. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    EAT THE LAWYER

  49. Karen says:

    LOL everybody's favourite moment.

  50. kelseyofcake says:

    THOSE CRUNCHING SOUNDS OWOWOWOWOW

  51. karate0kat says:

    I was scared of using flashlights at night for a long time because of this movie. This was inconvenient as my family did a lot of camping back then.

  52. monkeybutter says:

    <img src="http://i40.tinypic.com/9i7dpc.gif"&gt;

    YES BEST DEATH EVER

  53. knut_knut says:

    can it not smell??

  54. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Seriously this still looks amazing.

  55. monkeybutter says:

    t-rex breath

  56. Karen says:

    I dont' care if that's only half a T-Rex and you know it's all robotics, if I was one of those actors I would have been shitting my pants.

  57. monkeybutter says:

    I LOVE THIS ENTIRE SCENE

    DAMMIT SPIELBERG, WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE MOVIES LIKE THIS ANYMORE?

  58. dazyndara says:

    SHIT that was close!

  59. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    bless this movie.

  60. knut_knut says:

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/TAGDi.gif"&gt;

    ALSKDJF;LASF;KLAJKSF

  61. monkeybutter says:

    lol I love the mood shift

  62. knut_knut says:

    i love how calm muldoon is about this whole thing

  63. tzikeh says:

    He wants those motherfucking dinosaurs out of his motherfucking park.

  64. Shiyiya says:

    Okay you're a fucking idiot if you have one IT person and you can do nothing without him.

  65. dazyndara says:

    So, we need this guy to get the park back online, and now he's gonna be killed by a dinosaur. Great.

  66. kelseyofcake says:

    See Hollywood, THIS IS WHY USING A COMBINATION OF ANIMATRONICS AND CGI IS BETTER THAN JUST PLAIN CGI. IT LOOKS MORE REAL!
    I continue to be amazed by these special effects. I can't see them EVER looking dated, honestly.

  67. dazyndara says:

    Which dino area is he in?

  68. You can afford more glasses, but you really can't afford not to be able to see right now. Trust me on this one.

  69. monkeybutter says:

    nedry's velma moment

  70. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    They make such fun sounds!

  71. dazyndara says:

    Oh, it's so cute! It'll be cute while it kills him!

  72. knut_knut says:

    when he slipped, was there one of those gag banana slip sound effects?

  73. monkeybutter says:

    so cute!! i want one

  74. knut_knut says:

    awww, itss cute little coos <3

  75. @bonez565 says:

    aww who's a cute dino

  76. dazyndara says:

    HAHA "I have no food on me" YOU ARE THE FOOD

  77. giishu says:

    As a fairly shortsighted person, I'm terrified of losing my glasses. Not because I couldn't afford more, but because I couldn't see after that!

    • Karen says:

      OMG so much this. If I lost my glasses in an emergency–especially when it's dark out–I would be so boned.

      • giishu says:

        I don't worry about not seeing things in my home, but not seeing things outside is terrifying!

        Also, Nedry, I bet your glasses would have shielded you somewhat from the poison. That's why you need them!

    • Shiyiya says:

      Yeah, my response would not fucking be "I can afford more". THE MONEY IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE.

      • settlingforhistory says:

        Yes, my response would be "I'm going back, the money is just not woth walking among dinos blind."

        • Shiyiya says:

          Like, was there not some other day he could have decided to do it whent he storm came in?And why did he shut off the fences, anyway? There did not appear to be a good reason.

  78. MsSméagol says:

    Am joining the party kinda late! (Better late than never!) If someone could tell me where exactly you are in the movie right now (time wise) I'd be much appreciated!!!

  79. @bonez565 says:

    Ahhhhhhh Scary Dino DO NOT WANT!!!!

  80. monkeybutter says:

    lol no wonder you're extinct…I'm gonna run you over…way to make nedry my fave before his death

  81. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    CHAOS THEORY IN ACTION.

  82. dazyndara says:

    Goodbye eppendorfs of dino DNA

  83. monkeybutter says:

    cicada noise

  84. dazyndara says:

    Oooooh Sam Neill being all protective and caring and stuff 🙂

  85. kelseyofcake says:

    They had a touring Jurassic Park ehibit at my Children's Museum once and they had the robot head of that thing and you could move it around with this joystick and make the frills come out of its neck. IT WAS SO COOL

  86. Karen says:

    Look deep into those beautiful blue eyes and trust him, Lex!

  87. Shiyiya says:

    Poison spitting thing is pretty sweet looking.

  88. monkeybutter says:

    I lost a pistachio

  89. knut_knut says:

    throwing up is THE WORST. I understand, tim 🙁

  90. knut_knut says:

    WELL, SHIT

  91. Karen says:

    Again, even if I knew that tree branch was made of reinforced steel and the car was being lowered in a controlled manner, I'd still have shit my pants as an actor as that car landed on the branch above my head.

  92. dazyndara says:

    We're back in the car again <3

  93. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    At least you're out of the tree!

  94. @bonez565 says:

    Such great stunt work

  95. dazyndara says:

    Don't shout and wave your light, where is T Rex?!?!

  96. This movie is flawless. It is without flaws.

Comments are closed.