Mark Watches ‘Steven Universe’: S03E05 – Hit the Diamond

In the fifth episode of the third season of Steven Universe, I LOVE EVERYTHING THAT THIS EPISODE CHOOSES TO BE. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Steven Universe

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but I feel inspired.

Everything I Love About “Hit The Diamond”

  • FIVE RUBIES. THERE ARE FIVE RUBIES FROM THE HOMEWORLD HERE.
  • THE WRITERS GAVE THEM ALL DISTINCT PERSONALITIES.
  • I CAN’T DECIDE IF I LOVE ANXIOUS RUBY OR OPTIMISTIC RUBY THE MOST.
  • I LOVE THEM ALL.
  • GIVE ME A RUBY SPIN-OFF.
  • Let’s just acknowledge how hilarious Lapis is this entire episode, and we can also address how beautifully in-character she is. Since this episode directly follows “Barn Mates,” she’s still in an odd headspace. Thus, she spends most of “Hit the Diamond” uninterested in the absurdity that plays out, though she has moments where her interest is piqued. Namely? Realizing that Peridot was telling the truth about being a target of Homeworld.
  • Peridot hiding in the box.
  • Peridot’s facial expressions in this entire episode. It is amazing to me how quickly she feels like a sympathetic character, especially since she was a major antagonist a season ago.
  • GARNET UNFUSED DELIBERATELY FOR THIS SPECIFIC PROBLEM. It’s such a rare thing, so you’ll understand my excitement.
  • This episode is absolutely full to the brim with Ruby and Sapphire flirting and showing displays of affection. I feel like I made a decent explanation of why “Jail Break” was an important episode, and also why “The Answer” matters so much to someone like myself. Allow me to make a new point: I am not used to this much representation. At best, many books, shows, and films include one character like this; they’re usually secondary or tertiary characters; they don’t often affect the plot much, unless it’s to give motivation or drive to straight characters. And if I’m lucky enough to get something approaching a genuine representation of someone who is LGBT or queer, it’s just… IT’S RARELY THIS. A whole episode of flirting! Hugging! BEING CUTE. There’s just so much of it, and it makes me feel so good.
  • Which is an achievement in any sense, but when it’s placed in the midst of one of the most absurd concepts on Steven Universe, it’s even more impressive.
  • SERIOUSLY, THEY CHALLENGE THE RUBIES TO A GAME OF BASEBALL.
  • AND THE RUBIES ACCEPT IT WITHOUT QUESTIONING IT AT ALL.
  • IT’S SO BEAUTIFULLY STRANGE AND I WANT NOTHING ELSE.
  • Earl. Amy. BOB.
  • I love this show so much.
  • I have to go back to this. I am so thrilled that the show gave the Rubies distinct qualities. It speaks to the fact that Gems are individuals, and that no matter how much indoctrination they go through, it can’t erase their individuality.
  • I’M SO INTO THIS EPISODE.
  • Y’all, the Gems nearly lose the game because Sapphire and Ruby can’t stop flirting.
  • 100% the gayest thing I have ever seen.
  • Ruby told Sapphire she could look at her when she ran for home.
  • STOP
  • IT
  • (Just kidding, keep going forever.)
  • They are so in love that they couldn’t even resist fusing back into Garnet. I can’t do this.
  • (Just kidding, I could watch Garnet do anything forever.)
  • GIGANTIC RUBY. I LOVE IT, TOO.
  • Y’all, Ruby was going to give herself up so that her friends wouldn’t get hurt. This is such a huge development for her character, and when you think about how much time has been covered this season, it makes it even more fulfilling.
  • SHE’S A CRYSTAL GEM.
  • JASPER IS ON NEPTUNE.
  • Actually, Jasper is somewhere deep in the Earth, right? WHEN WILL WE SEE JASPER AGAIN.

I had a lot of feelings about this episode. Thank you for allowing me to share them with you.

The video for “Hit the Diamond” can be downloaded here for $0.99.

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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