Mark Watches ‘iZombie’: S02E12 – Physician, Heal Thy Selfie

In the twelfth episode of the second season of iZombie, THIS SHOW IS TOO MUCH. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch iZombie.

One of the (many) things that I love about the second season of this show is that the complex serialized story allows for so many more twists and turns that are believable and exciting. Because the lives of Mr. Boss, Liv, Blaine, Major, Vaughn, Babineaux, and Ravi are so intricately tied in with one another, the writers have an incredible tapestry to play with. More so than the first season, we’re getting an in-depth look at how zombies are affecting Seattle, from crime to wealth to access. AND IT’S ALL SO FASCINATING. That kind of depth makes iZombie a dynamic show, able to talk about multiple things without feeling stale or like it doesn’t know what kind of story it wants to tell. I never get the sense that it’s aimless, you know? We can delve into things like making fun of the Fifty Shades phenomenon or how bizarre our social media obsession is, but that doesn’t mean iZombie doesn’t have a solid backbone of a story.



The reason I wanted to open this review as I did is because the way each of these plots can collide with one another in unexpected ways. Mr. Boss’s retaliation against whomever is trying to have him ruined had an unintended consequence: it exposed Baracus as a zombie, despite that Major lied to Vaughn about him. Now, I have no reason to believe that Mr. Boss knows about zombies; he’s just trying to run his crime syndicate without any trouble! But that’s what makes this feel realistic, despite that it’s all ridiculous. The zombie crime world is rubbing up against the human crime world, and it’s getting ugly.

So Major is stuck, yet again, and it frightens me. INEVITABILITY, Y’ALL. How many more complications will he be given? How long until Vaughn’s security expert follows Major to that storage unit and discovers what he’s been doing with all the zombies he’s been “killing”? At the very least, Major is offering these zombies a chance at a second life, one that might contain a cure, and he’s placating Vaughn in the process. Well, sort of placating him. Jesus, the guy is just so unrepentantly awful, y’all, and that goes for Gilda, too. Killing people who make bad reviews on Twitter? WHAT IS WRONG WITH VAUGHN?

Oh god, we all know. And I’m fully expecting him to get worse.


Right at the height of his ascent, Blaine is dealt an ironic blow, and y’all, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WAS CONVINCED THAT MR. BOSS WAS THERE TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT HIS REAL BUSINESS. Holy shit, can we acknowledge once more that Eddie Jemison is the perfect Stacey Boss? I can’t deal with him; his mere appearance onscreen sends shivers through me.

And for good reason! Because now Mr. Boss is in Blaine’s life in an entirely new way, one that makes Blaine’s takeover infinitely more difficult. How’s he gonna plot this coup while Mr. Boss’s henchmen are visiting him every two weeks? Not that I feel bad for Blaine, of course. But there’s that creeping inevitability again. What if Mr. Boss finds out about Blaine? What if he discovers zombies? He unknowingly stepped into Major’s territory with the copycat killing. What next?

Liv / Drake

AND LIV UNKNOWINGLY STEPPED RIGHT BACK INTO BLAINE’S WORLD, TOO. So much of her trust issues around Drake are due to her worry that she’s bit off more than she can chew (HA!), and I don’t blame her for being reluctant with Drake. If anything, it’s smart of her to consider the implications of her dating someone new. Of course, if we could have a version of Drake without his attachment to Blaine, things would be a lot easier. He’s charming and nice and HIS MOTHER IS THE FUNNIEST SIDE CHARACTER INTRODUCED IN THIS SHOW. Oh my god, she came out of nowhere.

Alas, this can’t end well. I honestly don’t see Drake surviving this season.

Ravi / Peyton

AHHHHHHH, THEY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY AND I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THE TWO OF THEM AND IT’S ALL SO UNFAIR. On the one hand, I really do want her to get out of this mess because I don’t trust Mr. Boss or Blaine. Either one of them could turn on her in a second, especially after she dumped Blaine to the curb. (With Liv’s help! WHAT A GLORIOUS SCENE.) But this is what Peyton’s good at, and she also needs her own place. So the show leaves me conflicted, wanting two opposing things for her, and that puts Ravi in a sad place, since it’s clear he hasn’t gotten over her.

Basically, I want everyone to be okay, and I’m worried that’s not going to be the case. Also, they should all get puppies. And me. Mostly me. Okay, just me.

The video for “Physician, Heal They Selfie” can be downloaded here for $0.99.

Mark Links Stuff

I am now on Patreon! There are various levels of support, from $1 up to whatever you want! You’ll get to read a private blog, extra reviews, and other such rewards. I POST A LOT OF CUTE PHOTOS, OKAY. Think of it like a private Tumblr blog that only SPECIAL PEOPLE get to read.
– I have updated my list of conventions and events for the remainder of the year and much of next year.  Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates / Appearances page.
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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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