Mark Watches ‘Terriers’: Episode 6 – Ring-a-Ding-Ding

In the sixth episode of Terriers, EVERYTHING IS A MESS. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Terriers.

I’m hurting. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHOW, WHO KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. (All of you did. I will get my revenge.)


Look, this whole episode was designed to make me cringe and feel terrible, but the case for “Ring-a-Ding-Ding” alone was enough to make me want to shrivel out of existence. And it’s so wild to me because I thought this episode was just going to be a giant tour of all the weirdos and eccentricities of Southern California. I have seen practically every iteration of each character who possessed Elizabeth’s ring. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ODDLY SPECIFIC TERRIERS CAN BE, unless you live down here, and then you KNOW. You just KNOW.

But once Britt and Hank track the ring right back to Elizabeth herself, this isn’t a story about the wacky places a ring went due to Dale’s infidelity. Now, the show clearly makes out Dale to be the Utter Worst Person in short order, and I appreciate it. He’s the least interesting character in this whole story. It’s in Elizabeth’s pain that we get a story that oddly parallels what is happening to Britt and Hank. Dale’s actions destroy someone else, and he never truly thinks about that. He has a child with another woman, mistreats her as well, and then expects to have his actions swept under the carpet. On top of that, Paolo continues to have an affair with the husband of the woman whose hair she does all the time. SHE MADE THE WIGS FOR THAT WOMAN. So there’s extra heartbreak and betrayal heaped on top of Elizabeth.

And it resonates with Hank so much because he’s currently experience loss of his own. Though I suspect that the writers are trying to suggest that Hank is a lot closer to Dale than Elizabeth. Isn’t Hank the one who betrayed Gretchen? Isn’t he the one who used Jason’s credit cards, despite that Gretchen entrusted him to help Jason figure out what was going on with his credit? Hell, even Jason tried to treat him in good faith! It’s Hank who has sabotaged his relationship, not the other way around. Yet that doesn’t mean he can’t feel the loss or grief that surrounds his relationship.

Of course, it’s in Katie’s story that there’s the most resonance. I was so confused by Hank’s advice at the end of this episode; it seemed foolish and counter to everything we’d seen from him. Britt is his very best friend; why would he advise Katie to lie about cheating on him? But I just had to look back at what Hank had witnessed over the course of this case. Elizabeth trusted her husband for years, only to find out that he had an entirely separate family that he’d hidden from her. Initially, she just wanted to find out the truth: who was the woman he was cheating on her with? But the truth provided her with no solace. Instead, she was even more heartbroken than she was prepared for. Her life was in ruins, and she most likely wouldn’t even survive to see everything righted.

After all that, would anyone tell someone else the truth about an infidelity? I’m guessing that Hank is assuming the worst, that the truth will destroy Britt so completely that it’s worth it to lie to him for the rest of his life. In a twisted bit of logic, I can see how that makes sense to Hank. It’s his way of protecting his best friend. Of course, I don’t think there’s a single one of us who thinks this will actually end well. There’s no way Katie will keep this a secret; it’s not like her.

The whole thing is just a relentless mess. “Ring-a-Ding-Ding” fits that description, too. I’m still in awe of the pacing of this episode, since it delivers one emotional punch after another. Y’all, how is Katie going to go back to school? How scummy is that professor, who did not seem drunk and also willingly slept with a student? (We should talk about him. He’s gross.) Isn’t Britt going to notice his wife acting differently??? Will Jason keep Hank’s credit card secret, too?


The video for “Ring-a-Ding-Ding” can be downloaded here for $0.99.

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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