In the fourteenth episode of the third season of Veronica Mars, shocking twists provide the Marses with Coach Barry’s killer, a new job offer for Keith, and a stunning new direction in the Dean O’Dell murder. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Veronica Mars.
HOLY SHIT.
- THIS EPISODE WAS SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH ALL AT ONCE, AND MY EMOTIONS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE
- I’VE LOST CONTROL OF MY LIFE.
- This isn’t the first time this has happened, but it’s so rare to see Veronica get played that it’s surreal. But Josh tricked her into giving him peanut butter cookies in order to escape. So that’s how cookies are a good escape method! By exploitation of one’s own allergy.
- I know I said in yesterday’s review that the mystery of Coach Barry’s murder was convoluted, but I had NO IDEA. I truly couldn’t have ever guessed who was responsible for it just from “Postgame Mortem.”
- Hell, it wasn’t until Keith discovered who Vinnie had found to be the likely cause of Coach Barry’s alleged infidelity that this started to come together. Even then? Whew, this was a doozy, y’all. Couple that with the ABSOLUTELY UNREAL developments in Dean O’Dell’s case, and this episode is just overflowing with plot twists, shockers, and way too many emotions. And I’m thankful for that because this isn’t all plot. There’s the story that follows Mac, Bronson, Logan, and Parker participating in a Valentine’s Day themed scavenger hunt, which ends up bringing both pairs together.
- First of all, I LOVE SCAVENGER HUNTS. And it’s through this that the show pairs up Logan with Parker, which is something I had never considered in a billion years. I definitely expected that after the last episode, Logan would make strides to repair his relationship with Veronica, and after the scene where he visited her in jail, I really thought that was the direction he was taking. But I have said multiple times that these two might need a longer break than usual due to the outstanding issues between them, so it’s not that surprising that Logan might be pursuing someone other than Veronica.
- I do hope that this doesn’t ruin any friendship between Veronica and Parker, though! Nooooo, don’t fight over Logan, IT’S NOT WORTH IT. Thankfully, all we get here is one look of longing/sadness from Veronica as she looks upon Parker and Logan eating lunch together.
- It was also nice to see Bronson again, and to also get a story that had a genuinely happy ending! (GET IT.) It makes me joyous to know that Mac has found someone she can trust again.
- Things aren’t so happy in the Barry case, which only gets worse and worse as Josh acts erratically in defense of himself. He’s a portrait of desperation, particularly since he knows he wasn’t on that cliff arguing with his father and he certainly didn’t kill him.
- BUT LORD, YOU AREN’T MAKING IT BETTER BY KIDNAPPING MASON. You’re not!!! Granted, I get why he’s so impractical and violent, given that all the evidence is pointing straight at him. But he’s wrong. And in his mission to prove himself innocent, he hurts Mason in the process. Like I said in yesterday’s review, this case is so hard for Veronica because she wants to believe that Josh is innocent, that he couldn’t have possibly have killed his father and then done everything after that, but her job requires her to be suspicious of him! It’s a precarious battle for her, but thankfully, she gets to move her suspicion away from Josh to… an Army Captain.
- EXCEPT NOPE. The lead disintegrates when Keith finds out that the woman who Vinnie took photos of with Coach Barry was his neurologist. Yeah, he was dying from Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, which recasts the pool of suspects, adding MRS. BARRY. Oh god, she took out an additional life insurance policy with a double-indemnity clause, AND NOW SHE’S THE PRIME SUSPECT.
- WHICH LEADS TO THE ENTIRELY-NOT-OKAY SCENE IN THE BARRY HOUSEHOLD.
- GOOD GOD
- AND IT’S NOT THE ONLY ONE. Fuck, y’all, this episode is too suspenseful for one person to handle! As Keith confronts Mrs. Barry about the insurance policy while the writers juxtapose this with Josh’s own discovery. If the safety deposit box was empty, then Mrs. Barry most likely sold the coins to pay for a hitman.
- BUT WHAT ABOUT A THIRD OPTION
- ONE THAT’S EVEN MORE DEVASTATING THAN ALL THE OTHERS.
- Mrs. Barry genuinely hid the gun to protect her son, who discovers that his father left him a message to be watched on his twenty-first birthday: he had himself killed in order to spare himself and his family the physical, emotional, and financial pain that his disease would bring to his life. His assistant coach was the one who assisted him and who Mason saw on the cliff that night.
- The closure provided by this is mostly sad, given that Josh has to disappear for a few years until the statute of limitations expires so that his mother and younger brother will get the insurance money. God, it’s so heartbreaking, you know? But in this instance, Veronica also chose the more sympathetic route in dealing with Josh. She helped him leave the country instead of turning him over, and I admit that I like seeing Veronica ditch her cynicism at times. Only every once in a while, of course, because if you take sarcasm away from Veronica, I will revolt.
- HEY SO. THE DEAN O’DELL CASE. HOLY SHIT.
- I mean, there is so much headway made here, and I can’t even believe how quickly SHIT GOT SO REAL.
- This is so frustrating to watch because it’s one of the rare moments where we, the audience, know more than Keith or Veronica. We’re often a few steps behind them. (Or, rather, I should say that I am a few steps behind. SO UNPREPARED.) But we know for a fact that Dean O’Dell visited Landry and Mindy the night of his murder, so as soon as Professor Landry starts getting all sanctimonious and huffy, I just YELL AT HIS FACE. YOU ARE A LIAR. You can’t act all holier-than-thou when you’re clearly lying.
- On top of that, Mindy’s story continues to fall apart. First, Sheriff Lamb nearly catches her in a lie regarding the Xanax prescription he picked up, and even if she is telling the truth, it’s established that she’s definitely hiding something from these people.
- But then THE CLIPPERS GAME. Which is somehow on the same network as Space Ghost Coast to Coast? That’s impossible, but I don’t really care because any chance to mention Space Ghost is a good thing. The entire case is thrown into chaos because the time of death is placed at approximately 3:30am, which eliminates Mindy as a suspect, right? If she returned before that, then how could she have killed her husband?
- AND THEN STEVE BATANDO IS A SUSPECT AGAIN? What the fuck, how did his fingerprints end up on Dean O’Dell’s keyboard??? What perplexes me is the fact that he is so certain that he’s being framed, and his break-in at the O’Dell house suggests that he was there to destroy property out of anger at Mindy. So… is he telling the truth?
- We won’t find out just yet, given that HE IS DEAD
- AND SHOT BY DEPUTY SACKS
- AFTER BATANDO KILLED SHERIFF LAMB
- NO
- NO LOOK
- YOU CAN’T FUCKING DO THAT
- I DIDN’T EVEN LIKE LAMB AT ALL AND I’M STILL FUCKING UPSET
- SHERIFF LAMB PLAYS A VITAL ROLE IN THIS MODERN NOIR MASTERPIECE. HE HAS TO BE THE BUMBLING LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICE WHO IS CORRUPT AND JUST CAN’T GET ANYTHING RIGHT SO THAT THE PRIVATE EYE CAN BE THE HERO
- YOU CAN’T KILL HIM
- WHAT THE FUCK WHY AM I SO UPSET
- I mean, he was in intensive care at one point, so I actually relaxed and thought he survived but NOPE. This show is EVIL.
- he’s dead
- AND SURPRISED, WEEVIL FINDS A PACKAGE FULL OF BLOODY GLOVES AND A BLOOD-SPLATTERED SHIRT IN THE FURNACE
- I still want to know what the fuck he found in the faculty restroom! Veronica interrupted him, and he never said it!
- As if this all wasn’t enough to cope with, let the video commission stand as evidence that I did not even recognize Keith in the Sheriff’s uniform for like a whole second.
- HOLY SHIT HE’S SHERIFF AGAIN!!!!
- I AM CONFLICTED (but mostly happy let’s be real.)
- ;akasdfasfdj;sfdajlkfsdajklfasd
- sfdakljsfdaj;asfdj;sfad
- sfdakljasdfjklfdas
- oh my god THE SHIRT BELONGS TO PROFESSOR LANDRY
- I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW except maybe oxygen.
- H E L P
The video for “Mars, Bars” can be downloaded here for $0.99.
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