In the first episode of the third season of Veronica Mars, Veronica discovers that college life is very different from high school, but the same horrible issues that plagued Neptune as a whole haven’t disappeared either. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Veronica Mars.
Trigger Warning: This episode and review address rape often.
- OH WOW I WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT A FEW THINGS AND SO WRONG ABOUT SO MANY OTHER THINGS.
- This is one hell of a premiere, both because it introduces so many new characters and settings, and because SHIT GOT REAL RIGHT OFF THE BAT. HOLY SHIT.
- I was really excited to see Take Back the Night, a very real organization, appear in the opening scene!!! Y’all should research them and what they do to shed light on violence against women and rape.
- And the show just does all these wonderful things to both show us that this is not Neptune High anymore, but it is still Neptune. Veronica is on the receiving end of some bitter misogyny in less than five minutes, and she beautifully wipes the floor with Tim’s presumptive attitude. Y’all, I love how this establishes Veronica as a force to be reckoned with IN THE VERY FIRST CLASS SHE EVER GOES TO. It’s also neat that the writers are subtly hinting that Veronica wants to pursue a career doing what she does best by having her start off with Criminology.
- I’m then immediately proven wrong by Logan and Veronica being adorable. Oh, they lasted the summer!!! That’s wonderful. And Logan is… well, he’s very Logan Echolls throughout this premiere, but I can tell he’s a lot sweeter towards Veronica. It’s great. It feels healthy.
- There are some hints, but no answers, towards what it was that Keith did at the end of season two, and early in this episode, we find out that he was THREE DAYS LATE in joining Veronica in New York. What the hell took three days for him to do???
- Ugh, y’all, I’m just so happy that Wallace and Veronica are at the same school and they’re not being separated. WALLACE FOREVER.
- And the first of our new characters is introduced: PIZ! Ah, the clueless, naive, and beautifully witty native of Beaverton, Oregon, thrust into the chaotic world of Southern California without a concern in the world. Well, until ALL OF HIS STUFF IS STOLEN IN LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES. Just like that, Veronica’s got her first case at Hearst College. Her first $500 case. Holy shit, GET IT, VERONICA. I love that she values her services higher than she did at high school. GOOD FOR YOU.
- OH MY GOD, A BATTLESTAR GALACTICA REFERENCE. BLESS. BLESS.
- As it turns out, my prediction about the Hearst rapist has come true. “The Rapes of Graff” was a set-up for the third season, and it’s here that we learn that the rapes have continued on campus, and, unsurprisingly, the administration hasn’t done anything to prevent them, stop them, or capture the rapist. It’s one of a number of reasons why Dick’s behavior is so egregious and disgusting here. He mocks rape by dancing around with the blow-up doll, and in doing so, he minimizes the very real pain that these women are feeling over what was done to them.
- Dick has an interesting role here, and I hope that this season continues to show that his behavior is absolutely deplorable while still exploring why it happens. It’s not like Cassidy’s suicide suddenly turned Dick into a raging misogynist. He was always that way. Like most of the 09ers in Neptune, he’s used to a certain leeway and entitlement for being who he is: a rich white man. Couple that with what appears to be a tremendous amount of grief and fear and trauma, and you’ve got the recipe for disaster that is Dick Casablancas in this episode. Whereas he was always gross and crude to people in the first two seasons, his scenes in “Welcome Wagon” are beyond egregious. He’s flat out reckless. Before, he silently acknowledged the boundaries of what he could get away with at Neptune High; he knew how to avoid the consequences of his actions. But now? He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he’s on the wrong floor and begging sex from Parker. He doesn’t care that he’s asking a total stranger to become his love nest after getting kicked out of the dorms. He doesn’t care about anything anymore.
- I don’t want Dick’s behavior to be excused and justified. I do want to see more of Ryan Hansen’s acting, as the final scene we get with him and Logan is just so very much unlike anything Ryan’s ever done on this show.
- Anyway, I know I jumped way ahead, but I HAD THOUGHTS ABOUT DICK CASABLANCAS.
- I also have thoughts about KEITH MARS. We finally find out what it was that Kendall offered him: a ton of money (DAMN IT I WAS WRONG) in exchange for helping her disappear so that she could be reunited with her old partner, Cormac Fitzpatrick. The money Keith was offered was clearly enough to cover his conscience, as we’ve never really seen him get involved with something so clearly illegal. You can tell that he’s nervous and uncomfortable the whole time, too. God, Keith, WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO? The scariest thing ever, actually.
- Let’s get back to Hearst, because we need to talk about Parker. Y’all, SHE IS SO FUN AND GENUINE AND I REALLY LOVE THE DYNAMIC SHE BRINGS TO THE SHOW. Of course, it’s funny to pair Mac with a roommate who is, emotionally speaking, sort of the polar opposite of her. She’s so bubbly, but you know what? She always means well. And I love that she’s not portrayed as a joke, either. Ugh, count me as a fan of Parker.
- Y’all, there’s so much to love about the way Veronica treats Piz here, too, because while he certainly hired her, she is extremely gracious and friendly towards him. She didn’t have to get him clothes to wear, and she did it anyway. VERONICA MARS IS SO GREAT.
- Can we also take a moment to talk about how gross and unfortunately common it is that white people blame black people for crimes that they committed themselves? Yeah, I see you, you dirty racist children. YOU’RE GROSS.
- I just love how Veronica solves this case in a way that perfectly connects with many small details introduced over the course of “Welcome Wagon.” Dr. Landry’s mention of the mentoring program is how Veronica suspects that Donald Fagan was using the kids in that program to commit crimes for him, and Veronica’s architectural arguments are what help her realize that Donald was the ringleader of the Welcome Wagon thefts.
- My favorite part of this whole case, though? Piz and Veronica’s conversation outside of Fagan’s house. I mean, just purely in terms of entertainment value, it is absolutely hilarious to me that they got foldable lawn chairs and drinks and sat outside Fagan’s apartment just to watch his face when he was proven guilty. BLESS YOU FOREVER, VERONICA. But I think that it’s neat that Veronica is forced to think about why it is she’s continuing to solve cases and tackle mysteries. I do think that Lilly’s murder affected Veronica in a way that changed her life and how she saw the world, but it’s also undeniable that she’s good at what she does. She can put pieces together. Her brain makes logical leaps that most people can’t see. And I think it’s fantastic that she may be able to make a lifelong career out of it.
- Well, then it’s suddenly super obvious that Piz likes Veronica. WELL. THAT SHOULD BE AWKWARD.
- I should have known that with everything resolved and a few minutes remaining that “Welcome Wagon” wasn’t done welcoming me to season three. First, we find out that Keith’s job in transporting Cormac to Kendall’s secret location is a trick. GODDAMN IT, Vinnie dropped a bug in Keith’s bag when he was fiddling with it earlier in the episode and then CORMAC MURDERS KENDALL. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
- KEITH IS WITHOUT HIS GUN AND HE’S IN THE FREEZING DESERT AND I DON’T LIKE THIS. MAKE IT STOP.
- But y’all, season three begins with complete and utter heartbreak. I now understand that Mac’s sexile was actually the exact moment that Parker was being raped by the Hearst rapist. That final image of Parker sobbing in the mirror is just so fucking haunting, and I’m crushed. I can already see how this is going to affect all three characters, and I seriously hope that this rapist is thrown off the face of the earth. I’m expecting that this story arc is going to be hard to watch, but I’m hoping that the writers treat it with sympathy and care from here on out.
- Goddamn, what a premiere.
The video commission for “Welcome Wagon” can be downloaded here for $0.99.
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