Mark Watches ‘Angel’: S03E12 – Provider

In the twelfth episode of the third season of Angel, the sudden popularity of Angel Investigations stretches the team thin, leading to BAD THINGS. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Angel.

OH MY GOD.

  • LOOK I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS. Someone in our universe, on this planet, in our lifetime, wrote a scene where demons Photoshopped Fred’s head onto their demon leader to demonstrate what they were going to do to her and then they used the paint tool to imitate stitches. I am furious that not one of you bought a Mark Watches Video for this because you all would have seen me laugh so hard for thirty seconds that I started choking.
  • That is literally the greatest moment in all of Angel, and it’s all downhill from here out.
  • My god, HOW DID THAT EVEN GET IN THE SCRIPT, LET ALONE ON SCREEN?
  • I don’t even think you understand how obsessed I am with this scene, and I just watched it only an hour ago.
  • Fuck, the quality of my life has improved 28% since that moment.
  • Anyway, I liked this episode! It’s not the best thing ever, but I love that the show is forcing the characters to deal with the logistics of their business and the arrival of Connor.
  • Wait, okay, I have to jump ahead: JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN. What the fuck is he doing on Angel??? Right, just being pretty and having a pretty marginal role? Yeah, I wish they gave him a part that was bigger.
  • When I was in high school, I went through a phase for about six months where I dyed my hair repeatedly. At one point, it was the same color as the guy who answer’s the phone at the pizza place.
  • That’s all. That’s the whole thought I wanted to share with y’all.
  • Oh my god, the Angel Investigations site looks like an old Geocities site. I can’t wait until the autoplay MIDI music starts up.
  • Holtz, you are fucked up. Yeah, man, that is a super messed up way to get someone to be loyal to you. I kind of don’t like you anymore? I wouldn’t be totally cool with Justine killing you in your sleep or something.
  • Angel Investigations is all successful and busy! I am so happy for them!
  • Oh, they’re all being split up? This won’t end well.
  • WHY IS JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN BEING ALL IMPOSTOR-Y?
  • Someone should have given David Boreanaz an Emmy just for the face he makes when seeing the $50,000 from the Nahdrah demons. Bless.
  • You know, the Buffyverse has made a joke out of portraying demons in human/normal ways before, but the entire plot at Allison’s house is just one of the best things on all of Angel. It actually has a happy ending!!!! SO ADORABLE.
  • It’s not as adorable as Wesley and Gunn competing to have the biggest crush on Fred. Holy shit, I TOTALLY CALLED IT! I mean, I just thought that maybe I was reading the scene in “Birthday” a little too closely, BUT I WAS RIGHT. Oh my god. TWO CHARACTERS IN THIS SHOW ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A SHIPPING WAR. Who will reign victorious???
  • Okay, I had to laugh at the fact that the super complex puzzle that Fred had to solve had nothing to do with math or science because it was just a giant 3-D puzzle. Y’all could have figured that out yourself.
  • So Cordelia is really having no other side effects from being part demon? I’m scared. It can’t be this easy. Nothing on this show is!
  • Well, Cordy’s visions are easy now. That’s so weird! I’m so used to her collapsing that I anticipate it now.
  • ANGEL’S SPEECH ABOUT MONEY TO JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN AS HE SLAYS VAMPIRES IS SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME.
  • Cordelia showed up to rescue Fred with a baby in her arms. My god, she’s so amazing. Also, she justifies them taking money from the Nadrah demons. Bless.
  • This is a decent episode. It’s not my favorite one, but I enjoyed it. However, the final scene of this episode is really powerful. Is the show hinting at an Angel/Cordelia pairing? They look so beautiful and comfortable there, and I was so into the idea that they could raise Connor together. I don’t know that this will happen, but it’s so adorable to me that Cordelia so quickly switches into the role of a mother to Connor, despite that she was never asked to do so. I hope Angel doesn’t take advantage of helping her, though. OH GOD. WHY DID I WRITE THAT.

Demons Photoshopping beheadings. Just needed to remind you of that again.

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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1 Response to Mark Watches ‘Angel’: S03E12 – Provider

  1. ASDFGHJKL says:

    I’m just letting you know that I cry a little bit after every Mark Watches.
    NO ONE IS PREPARED.

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