Mark Watches ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’: S05E11 – Triangle

In the eleventh episode of the fifth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Anya and Willow become increasingly irritated with one another and create a troll. Literally. If that’s intriguing (AND IT SHOULD BE), then it’s time for Mark to watch Buffy.

Everything I Loved About This Episode

  • BUFFY FIGHTING VAMPIRES AT A CONVENT. AWWW YES.
  • Tara is back! And she has an entire scene alone with Buffy! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
  • I actually thought this was going to be a Giles-centric episode that focused on his trip to see the Watchers Council. I was tricked.
  • I refuse to get over how well this show has used Dawn as a character. The writing for her character could have easily been fucked up, but because it wasn’t, we get that lovely scene of Buffy and Dawn talking about Riley and heartbreak.
  • On that note, I’m glad this episode constantly addresses the fact that Riley is gone. It gives it a nice sense of continuity from the last episode.
  • Spike rehearsing with a Buffy mannequin. HELP ME. What has this show done to his character? Like, I had a moment during this episode where all I could think of was how he used to be when he was first introduced. HE IS NOTHING LIKE THAT ANYMORE. Oh my god, it’s just so fascinating to watch.
  • The heart of “Triangle” is not an actual love triangle, and I’m so happy the writers quickly dispelled the notion. This is about two of Xander’s best friends feeling jealous of one another but for entirely irrational reasons. And that’s something quite a lot of us have had to deal with before, too, especially when our best friends get into long term relationships and we’re left to cope with them not being around as much as they once were. But I really enjoyed how much this focused on Anya more than Willow. Through her, the writers get to explore how frustrating it is to be in a relationship with someone, especially in terms of their own history. I know that that’s something I’ve struggled with before, that sensation that everyone else is so much closer and more important than I am, and that there’s nothing that can be done aside from waiting it out. Really, time is the only thing that can change that. For Anya, this episode is about her journey towards accepting who Xander is and who his friends are.
  • “I’m not stealing. I’m just taking things without paying for it. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?” BLESS YOU, WILLOW. BLESS.
  • “If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know? Big flashing red lights, and-and-and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there’s a whole bunch of colored wires, and I’m not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one, and then at the last second, ‘No! The red one!’ and then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left, but then you don’t leave… Like that, okay?” Anya for president of my heart.
  • “This is peer pressure! Any second now you’re gonna make me smoke tobacco and have drugs!”
  • The reference to “Something Blue” when Willow wishes for a million dollars. LOVE IT.
  • The fact that this is largely played as a joke. It’s not that there aren’t important lessons to learn here, but once the troll showed, this episode was HILARIOUS. He wanted babies! Why was this so funny to me?
  • Buffy’s constant emotional breakdowns over Anya and Xander were beautiful. I MEAN THEY ARE A PERFECT COUPLE SO I’M PRETTY SURE I’D CRY, TOO.
  • Anya. Driving. Yes, please.
  • No, the troll wants to eat babies. My god.
  • WHY IS SPIKE’S OBSESSION WITH ONION BLOSSOMS SO FUNNY TO ME.
  • ANYA DATED THE TROLL. OH MY GOD I LAUGHED SO HARD I NEARLY CHOKED.
  • Spike really isn’t that good at fighting, is he? He’s also abysmal at wooing anyone, especially Buffy. Oh god, he really is William the Bloody, isn’t he?
  • “Hello, gay now!” YES YES YES YES YES.
  • Okay, I love that this episode is hilarious and silly and then Olaf is like CHOOSE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS TO LIVE and suddenly shit gets so unbelievably real. DAMN, OLAF.
  • Anya fights Olaf by irritating him. YES.
  • I know it’s actually a touching moment, but when Buffy gets angry at Olaf stating that Xander and Anya won’t last, I cheered.
  • THE WORLD WITHOUT SHRIMP. IT IS REAL.

Everything I Did Not Like About This Episode

  • WHY THE FUCK DID YOU END IT THAT WAY. NO. THIS WAS A CLEVER AND TOUCHING ROMP IN SUNNYDALE WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD DAWN TOTALLY FUCKING HEARD THEM jesusa; a; ad;fk a;lkajsd f;as;akjsdf a helllppppppp

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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