In the sixth episode of the third season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, multiple antagonists from the past team up to let loose a curse on Sunnydale, and I will never be the same again. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Buffy.
HELP ME. HELP ME. WHAT DID I JUST WATCH? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? OH MY GOD THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN “BEWITCHED, BOTHERED, AND BEWILDERED” IN TERMS OF AWKWARDNESS AND HORROR AND PLEASE HELP ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
- SWEET HELL, THE MAYOR MADE A PACT WITH A DEMON. IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
- OKAY, HAS THE WORD “TRIBUTE” BEEN TOTALLY TAKEN OVER BY THE HUNGER GAMES FOR ANYONE ELSE? I KEPT SEEING KATNISS THE ENTIRE TIME ANYONE SAID “TRIBUTE.”
- HOLY FUCK, WHY IS ANGEL DOING TAI CH’I THE FUNNIEST THING ON THE PLANET?
- OH MY GOD, I LEGITIMATELY FEEL BAD FOR ANGEL.
- WOW, ANGEL SWEATS A LOT.
- WOW, WHY AM I TAKING TIME OUT OF MY DAY TO TALK ABOUT THIS?
- OH NO. OH MY GOD. BUFFY’S ALIBIS HAVE ALL DISCOVERED THEY ARE ALIBIS. THIS IS A DISASTER.
- ALSO, I CAN RELATE TO BUFFY A LOT HERE BECAUSE MY MOTHER USED TO REFUSE TO TRUST ME TO DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF HER PERMISSION IF IT WASN’T SCHOOL. ONCE, SHE CAME ONTO CAMPUS AND YELLED AT ME IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CROSS COUNTRY TEAM BECAUSE I WAS TWELVE MINUTES LATE COMING HOME. OKAY, SO MAYBE MY MOM WASN’T JOYCE SUMMERS, BUT I UNDERSTAND THE FEELING OF YOUR PARENTS REFUSING TO TRUSTH YOU.
- XANDER AND WILLOW, STOP PLAYING FOOTSIE UNDER THE TABLE.
- WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS MS. BARTON DOING.
- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.
- WHAT THE FUCK ARE GILES AND JOYCE DOING?Â
- WHY ARE THEY BEING SO NICE?
- WHAT THE FUCK?!!?! WHY IS GILES SMOKING AND WHY IS JOYCE DRINKING KAHLUA? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? WHAT ARE MY EMOTIONS DOING?
- WHY IS GILES CALLING HIMSELF RIPPER? WHY DID HIS ACCENT CHANGE? HELP ME. I CAN’T. I CAN’T DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS. MY BRAIN IS FALLING APART. HELP ME.
- THE BRONZE IS FOREVER SCARRED BY THE MEMORY OF WHAT I HAVE JUST SEEN.
- PRINCIPAL SNYDER, YOU HAVE INSTANTLY BECOME THE BEST CHARACTER IN ALL OF FICTION. HELP ME. I AM LAUGHING AND SHRIEKING AT THE SCREEN AT THE SAME TIME.
- WILLOW’S DOCTOR JUST TRIED TO STAGE DIVE. I AM LAUGHING SO HARD THAT TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.
- OH MY GOD, PRINCIPAL SNYDER WANTS TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH WILLOW, OZ, AND BUFFY. I JUST FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR.
- BUFFY WATCH OUT FOR THAT CA – OH. WHY DID NONE OF YOU GET HURT? THAT CRASH LOOKED BRUTAL.
- PRINCIPAL SNYDER, I SWEAR. I WILL NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME AGAIN.
- OH, YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. ETHAN RAYNE AGAIN??? HOW IS HE NOT DEAD YET?
- THE ENTIRE SCENE OF JOYCE AND GILES OUTSIDE THAT CLOTHING SHOP WILL FOREVER BE ETCHED INTO MY MEMORY AS BOTH THE FUNNIEST AND MOST TERRIFYING THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED ON BUFFY. IT IS THE MOST BRILLIANT SKEWERING OF PUNK ROCK ATTITUDE I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE. OH MY GOD, THEY ARE MAKING OUT ON THE COP CAR OF THE OFFICER THAT GILES JUST PUNCHED OUT. I CAN’T HANDLE LIFE. I CAN’T. THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE END.
- WHY DO I KIND OF LIKE GILES/JOYCE. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME.
- BUFFY FOUND HER MOTHER MAKING OUT WITH GILES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
- MR. TRICK, DON’T YOU THINK IT’S RATHER COMPLICATED TO INTRODUCE A CURSE TO THE ADULTS OF SUNNYDALE THROUGH CHOCOLATE JUST SO YOU CAN KIDNAP SOME NEWBORNS FOR LURCONIS? LIKE COULDN’T YOU HAVE JUST HAD SOME VAMPIRES TAKE THEM? I SUPPOSE I SHOULDN’T COMPLAIN OR THINK TOO HARD ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THEN THIS EPISODE KIND OF UNRAVELS COMPLETELY.
- ALSO, THE WAY WILLOW DELIVERS THE LINE ABOUT LURCONIS EATING BABIES MADE ME LAUGH UNTIL I COULDN’T BREATHE.
- ALSO, THE LURCONIS HAS THE DISTINCTION OF BEING THE ONE CREATURE ON BUFFY WITH THE WORST CGI TO DATE. IT LOOKS AWFUL.
- PRINCIPAL SNYDER, THE ADULTS VANDALIZED THE SCHOOL. HOW DARE YOU MAKE THE SCOOBIES CLEAN UP AFTER THEM. HOW IRRESPONSIBLE.
- UM. UM. DID I READ THAT FINAL SCENE RIGHT? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN BETWEEN JOYCE AND GILES? WHAT IS AIR? WHAT IS LIFE. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS SHOW. WHAT DID I JUST WITNESS
HELP ME.
Death Count: 4. The four vampires. I think? Now I’m not sure. Did Buffy only kill two of them? I CAN’T REMEMBER. Total: 18
Oh, Mark. SO unprepared.
You thought the leaden winter
Would bring you down forever,
But you rode upon a steamer
To the violence of the sun.
…Like if you get it? =/
Anyway, major Buffy spoilers, and I do mean MAJOR, so un-Rot13 the following at your own risk:
Gubfr ner gur ylevpf gb gur fbat gung Wblpr naq Tvyrf ner yvfgravat gb; nsgre Wblpr'f shareny, Tvyrf yvfgraf gb gur fnzr fbat nybar va uvf ncnegzrag.
1) OMG RIPPER IS PERFECTION. And, just, whenever he shows up I get a weird combo of excited/uncomfortable because my mother and father both had their troubled anti-authority drinkin' smokin' and listening to psychedelic rock phases. When I first started finding out about this, I was pretty weirded out, since (due to said troubled youth) my parents have been 100% sober since before I was born.
2) I want a manipulation of that Angel Tai Chi sequence to show him waterbending omg.
3) WHY AM I ALWAYS LATE TO THE PARTY THESE DAYS oh right because being a grown-up means going to meetings all afternoon and missing the upload time by hours.
Oh, I've been waiting for you to get this ep with anticipation and glee – and you did not disappoint! I remember reacting the exact same way the first time I saw this ep, and it still cracks me up every time I watch it.
"Hit him!"
"Screw you."
"They're acting like a bunch of us."
"We don't act like this."
"At least I got to the two of you before you actually did something."
BEST. EPISODE. EVER!!!
BAND CANDY. OMG. I love when they just go all-out silly. I also like things where people's identities and emotions are explored through supernatural means, which Buffy does a lot, and those are always my favorite episodes. Like "I Only Have Eyes for You" and "Halloween." Speaking of which, Ethan Rayne must also like those kinds of episodes.
– "That's what separates me from other politicians." Your creepy cabinet of creepy shit?
– "What? I can't have layers?" Cordelia, YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE LAYERS
– Ha, this is the first time I've watched this episode after reading The Chocolate War. This is much less depressing.
– "Okay, you're just doing this to take funny pictures of me."
– LOL ANGEL IS DOING TAI CHI. I just can't. This is ridonkulous. THE MUSIC. This scene is just taking itself so SERIOUSLY
– Lying to Giles about Angel, and lying to Angel about Scott? You're weaving a tangled web of lies here, Buffy.
– Aaaand now Giles and her mom are talking. AND EATING CANDY.
– JUST TELL GILES ABOUT ANGEL. Come ON.
– ETHAN RAYNE
– FOOTSIE
– THE MELANCHOLY GUITAR OF INFIDELITY
– Snyder is the best part of this episode
– Okay maybe Giles and Joyce are the best part of this episode
– "What? …Excuse me, I meant What?"
– GILES'S ACCENT. THE MUSIC. JOYCE TRYING TO BE COOL. DO YOU LIKE SEALS & CROFT. GILES GEEKING OUT ABOUT THE GUITAR laskf;dj;als
– Hee, Buffy mentioned the Time Warp and ASH was in RHPS.
– SNYDER IS STOKED omg I love Snyder in this episode! HE FOLLOWS THEM OUT. HE'S SUCH A NERD AND I LOVE IT
– OMG GILES WITH HIS TEE SHIRT SLEEVES ROLLED UP AND A CIGARETTE PACK IN IT
– STEALING THINGS
– MAKING OUT WITH JOYCE OMG
– I love that even under the influence of the candy, Giles knows that Buffy could kick his ass.
– I love Ethan. He sees Buffy and "Ripper" and he just RUNS. He believes in cowardice and
sandwichescandy bars.– Guitar of infidelity!
– "Hit him!"
– I love Giles's accent so much
– "Hit him again!"
– lol the tribute is BABIES. How clichéd is this demon? HE NEEDS TO EAT SOME BABIES.
– SNYDER IS SUCH A DORK I LOVE IT
– Joyce has HANDCUFFS
– Giles is getting some of his Giles-brain back! He knows about demons and stuff!
– I love that while the Mayor is down in the sewers getting ready to SACRIFICE SOME BABIES TO A DEMON, he finds the time to make a call about repairing the infrastructure. I LOVE HIM.
– I would have liked to see Buffy fight Mr. Trick, too. I love his purple suit!
– Buffy is pretty damn resourceful with that gas pipeline!
– I love the Mayor. He's so polite and SO GODDAMN CREEPY
– "Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to kiss–oh wait, I get it."
– Giles is back in tweed!
– LOL AWKWARDNESS GILES/JOYCE 4EVA
– THE MELANCHOLY GUITAR OF INFIDELITY
This!
I love that while the Mayor is down in the sewers getting ready to SACRIFICE SOME BABIES TO A DEMON, he finds the time to make a call about repairing the infrastructure. I LOVE HIM.
He's clearly a man who takes his commitment to public office very seriously.
The Mayor is like the only person in Sunnydale with a cell phone.
He probably made a deal with the Nokia demon.
I'm confused by the comments about bad CGI. It looks quite good to me.
It is bad compared to the awesome Superheroes/Transformers/Magic/Spaceships of blockbusters today. It is amazing compared to, say, the Original (BBC I think) Chronicles of Narnia movie or various Disney Channel Original Movies.
*shrug*
I just see a Lurconis.
I am jealous.
Yeah, I don't notice good or bad CGI either. I'm not really a connoisseur of such things.
"Oh Lurconis, almost makes the Machida effects look good. Almost. "
Machida wasn't CGI.
I know, but the bad CGI of Lurconis makes the Machida suit looks better in comparison in a "Yes it's bad but there are worse ways of doing this kind of monster" way.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3sis6jp51qz5stv.png">
So we've established The Mayor as a sniffer
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3sjfp6BY1qz5stv.png">
Cordelia has layers, like a parfait.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3sjvGjMH1qz5stv.png">
I love this part.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3skbODnj1qz5stv.png">
Good costuming detail having Xander's shoes untied
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3sliHpsQ1qz5stv.png">
Is Cream really that badass, Giles?
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3slxNIa91qz5stv.png">
I just want to point out the lyrics to the Dingoes Ate My Babies song that's playing during this scene.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3sp2xCsk1qz5stv.png">
I took a lot of screencaps of Joyce and Giles making out. This is my favorite. Even more so than the one of them on a police-car.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3sprZGgy1qz5stv.png">
Ethan's face is great and this line is so weird. Is it a commercial slogan or something?
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3sq7tMu21qz5stv.png">
STORY TIME: When I was about sixteen I was going through airport security with my girlfriend. The x-ray screener yelled bag check and I instantly remembered the fuzzy handcuffs in my bag that I'd forgotten about. Oops. Thank god this was before 2001 because there's no way we would have made that plane these days.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz3suusxrB1qz5stv.png">
This all seems like a hell of a lot of trouble for four babies. That's not very many babies. They couldn't have just like… found four babies laying around somewhere?
I had a test today so I've been studying most of the last 48 hours. I'm pretty sure it went well but it meant I didn't have a chance to watch one of my favorite episodes until just now.
As always, transcripts modified from Buffy vs. Angel, where you can also find music guides for every episode if you are so inclined.
Yes, Cream is that badass. Why do you even need to ask that, it's ERIC CLAPTON.
"Cordelia has layers, like a parfait."
Elle est parfait.
^parfaite
…
yes, there's a part of my brain that pretty much forces me to do that.
OMG you got the PERFECT screencap with Giles and the ball! <3
I just want to point out the lyrics to the Dingoes Ate My Babies song that's playing during this scene.
They should change their name to Lurconis Ate My Babies.
For once, you missed my favorite line of the episode.
"As much as we'd all love to go all Willie Loman, we're not in the band."
Hehe, Adidas is so clearly a sponsor!
Good costuming detail having Xander's shoes untied
I also like that they're wearing the same shoe, but in different colors
no cap of buffy driving with snyder in the car?! awwww. LOVE the giles/joyce screencap. i agree 🙂
Snyder: "Woah!! Summers you drive like a spaz!!!"
Ahaha My love for this episode just goes on and on and on.
In contrary to most of the commenters here, for me this is an episode I like but I like it less and less per re-watch. It's a good episode, yes, and it's funny but it is not too special episode in humour. Quite blatant so to speak. At first it's chocking but it does not age well for me.
Sebz abj ba gubhtu, jr jvyy unir na haoebxra fgernx bs terng gb rkgerzryl terng rcvfbqrf hagvy guvf frnfba raqf.
GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE GILES/JOYCE
IT'S LIKE THEY KNEW I WANTED THIS WENT BACK IN A TIME MACHINE AND THEN MADE THIS EPISODE JUST FOR ME OH GOD THIS WILL PROBABLY BE MY FAVORITE EPISODE FOR ALL TIME AT LEAST FOR NOW I CAN'T EVEN
ETHAN RAYNE. That is all. I was so, so happy when he showed up. My love for him will never waver. He's just so completely NOT badass it's hilarious, and even better is that he is not ashamed to admit it. He's all, "Exit stage Ethan" whenever things get a little risky.
In my head canon, he only does this to get Giles' attention. Hardcore Giles/Ethan shipper, I am.
(Naq lbh unir gb nqzvg gung jnf gur bayl ernfba ur ghearq Tvyrf vagb n qrzba va frnfba sbhe. Ur whfg jnagf uvf nggragvba. Vg'f fb phgr.)
This will forever be the best review in the universe. *happy yet evil grinning*
Deaths: 4 vamps, 1 factory worker killed by Trick, and 1 demon
Does anyone think that Principal Snyder in this episode is kind of what I imagine Wormtail would have been like in Harry Potter as a teenager?
One of my favourite epsiodes because we meet….. BADASS GILES *dramatic music* Which makes even sexier as well as cooler 🙂
And we get more foe yay between him and Ethan! It is pretty much canon that they used to date (one of the writers comfirmed it)