Mark Watches ‘Doctor Who’ Liveblog – The Wedding of River Song

Well, it seems that the time has come for series six of Doctor Who to end, and we can only hope that the massive plot holes left open over the course of all of this are finally closed. Also LOOK AT THAT GODDAMN TITLE. Let’s all liveblog the fuck out of Doctor Who and then flail about for months.

I have managed to avoid every single spoiler for this episode, so please, let us all be the most awesome community of television watchers on the planet and have respect for a spoiler-free viewing of “The Wedding of River Song,” okay? LET’S DO THIS.

Because we are all on the exact same ground this time around, our spoiler policy for these blogs will be completely different. Anything that has aired in the past is fair game for discussion. Anything that has not publicly aired WILL BE CONSIDERED A SPOILER.

This liveblog will work in relative to when the episode airs for you. So, you may begin your livebloggy commenting down below when the episode starts. To avoid spoilers, I stick to the first page and comment away, and then go back afterwards to add any more

DO. NOT. POST. SPOILERS. This community is not the place for that. You have the rest of the fucking Internet. Go there.

oh my god this is so sad i never want Doctor Who to take breaks.

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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702 Responses to Mark Watches ‘Doctor Who’ Liveblog – The Wedding of River Song

  1. Openattheclose says:

    RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU

  2. Elexus Calcearius says:

    "You and I should get a drink sometimes."
    "Okay."
    "And married."
    "Okay."

  3. Maybe the Master will come back? That would be amaaazing.

  4. Openattheclose says:

    Wow that's harsh, Doctor.

  5. chichichimaera says:

    Yes, he really did think that. SELF ESTEEM DOCTOR.

  6. Openattheclose says:

    Time Lords?

  7. Elexus Calcearius says:

    Oh, god, I'm crying.

  8. psycicflower says:

    Oh River, please stop crying. I can't handle that.

  9. Why does this have to be in front of the in-laws? 😀

  10. Openattheclose says:

    That's really selfish.

  11. NB2000 says:

    Poor Rory is so lost.

    I LOVE THIS WHOLE CAST SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

  12. chichichimaera says:

    THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!

  13. Openattheclose says:

    THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!

  14. NB2000 says:

    AAAAAH OMG THIS IS AAAAAH!

    Mummy and Daddy giving her away *flail*

  15. Vikinhaw says:

    Oh that's how she knows his name!

  16. NB2000 says:

    NAAAAME OMG!

  17. chichichimaera says:

    Is this a Time Lord wedding ceremony? I bet it is. With the True Name giving and all.

  18. psycicflower says:

    ALL THOSE SERIES 4 THEORIES WERE RIGHT

  19. chichichimaera says:

    KISS OF DEATH.

  20. psycicflower says:

    thereisnogifforthesethingsthatiamfeeling

  21. NB2000 says:

    ..WAIT BUT WHAT NEXT?!

  22. Vikinhaw says:

    The countdown coming up at the bottom of the screen made me giggle

  23. I think I like london better with airballoon-cars

  24. chichichimaera says:

    You'd better not cliffhanger us again.

  25. psycicflower says:

    There's only five mins left!!!!!

  26. Openattheclose says:

    Now prison waits for River.

  27. NB2000 says:

    Awww Mummy and Daughter bonding <3

  28. psycicflower says:

    Aw, River visiting her Mam.

  29. chichichimaera says:

    Amy is looking extra pale right now.

  30. psycicflower says:

    OH MY GOD IT WASN'T HIS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. NB2000 says:

    WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!?!

  32. I <3 River and Amy having drinkies. AND RORY HAS A JOB THAT HE GOES TO AND COMES HOME FROM YAAAY

  33. Openattheclose says:

    I NEED TO KNOW.

  34. psycicflower says:

    TELL US GODDAMMIT

  35. Vikinhaw says:

    I'm being shallow but they're both so pretty.

  36. NB2000 says:

    rofl it just hit Amy

  37. chichichimaera says:

    IM A HEAD I HAVE RIGHTS!!

  38. Vikinhaw says:

    Why can't these people just communicate!?

  39. chichichimaera says:

    TOTALLY CALLED IT HE WAS A TESSALECTA ALL ALONG!

  40. NB2000 says:

    ROFL I FUCKING KNEW IT!

  41. psycicflower says:

    I was wondering why he didn't just use the Tessalectors for a replacement!

  42. Elexus Calcearius says:

    *laughs*

    YOU'RE AMAZING. WONDERFUL. GREAT. AWESOME.

  43. NB2000 says:

    Oooh er nights

  44. !!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!

    That's a bit of a cheat.

  45. Vikinhaw says:

    I actually love this Tesselecta twist!

  46. Elexus Calcearius says:

    More cliffhangers. Damn you, Moff.

  47. chichichimaera says:

    LOL YEASSSSSSSSSS.

  48. NB2000 says:

    ROFL WELL OKAY THEN

  49. psycicflower says:

    Doctor Who? I KNEW IT

  50. Elexus Calcearius says:

    IT WAS DOCTOR WHO. ACK!

  51. Openattheclose says:

    DOOOOOCCCCCTTTTOOOOORRR WHHHHHOOOOO??????

  52. Mark's Watcher says:

    Nice Silence noise at the end there.

  53. Vikinhaw says:

    Was that episode not shorter than normal or am I imagining things?

  54. Sarah Jane Adventures ;_;

  55. ladykjane says:

    Well that was weird and silly and a bit of a cheat, but who didn't think it would be? And yet all strangely satisfying, so I'm happy.

    Also, first liveblog, check.

    • Elexus Calcearius says:

      I don't know> I think it was less of a cheat than previous finales. IThe tesselectra was setup well in advance, present in the episode, along with the Doctor lying…

      • notemily says:

        Also, I think the Flesh was a huge red herring that worked. Everyone was like "omg it's going to be a flesh Doctor" and Moffat was like HAHAHA NO IT IS A TESSELECTRA DOCTOR

  56. …for a moment, i was going to carry on commenting. But then I realised I'd be commenting about Merlin. Oops.

  57. psycicflower says:

    Fine, fine, I'll hang around for hot knights.

  58. Openattheclose says:

    That… was better than I thought it was going to be.

  59. psycicflower says:

    Wait, does this mean we're actually going to find out his name whenever that battle is (presumably next series finale)?

  60. Monocle Claire says:

    HOLY SHIT FUCK DFAWKGHAET;H

    HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE BEST GODDAMN THING EVER HOLY FUCK CANNOT COHERENCY

    FUCK YEAH AMY KILLING THAT BABY-STEALING BITCH
    FUCK YEAH RORY BEING EVEN MORE BAMF THAN NORMAL
    FUCK YEAH RIVER FOR BUTTFUCKING TIME THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL (WHICH WAS PROBABLY NOT A GOOD THING BUT YEAH)
    FUCK YEAH DOCTOR FOR FIXING IT AND SHIT

    THE PONDS: BADASS FAMILY FOREVER AND FOR ALL OF TIME omg it just hit me that the doctor finally has a proper family again ALL MY CREYS

    SO

    MUCH

    JOY

  61. Monocle Claire says:

    ALSO, THE QUESTION BEING 'DOCTOR WHO': I. FUCKING. CALLED. IT.

  62. Mikerophonic says:

    lol at Amy for being a little bit worried about being the Doctor's mother-in-law.

  63. Openattheclose says:

    So does this mean every time Rory (or anyone else for that matter) dies in future episodes (come on, you know it's inevitable), it's going to be a miniature Rory (or other character) in a robot body?

    And now I wonder about River in FotD.

    • notemily says:

      I was just thinking about that! TBH I wouldn't mind if River in FotD was a robot River because then she wouldn't get her crapsack "I get to live in a computer forever" ending.

      • t09yavorsaur says:

        There might be a way for the Doctor to download her from the computer into a Ganger or something.

        I also wonder what the Ponds would do if they found out future!River was digitalized in a Library.

        • kartikeya200 says:

          I want this to happen so bad. Yes, I know it's supposed to be the end of her life and therefore we see her life backwards, blah blah blah, DON'T CARE, RIVER SHOULD LIVE, AND NOT IN A COMPUTER.

          Also, I think it's clear the Ponds would show up, make the Vashta Nerada run away, and then demand the computer give River back OR ELSE. Because even reality and time bend for the Last Centurion and the Girl Who Waited, as adequately demonstrated.

          • notemily says:

            RIVER SHOULD LIVE, AND NOT IN A COMPUTER.

            I agree! She's too badass to spend the rest of her existence reading stories to virtual children.

            And, you know, why NOT download her into a Ganger? Or have the Doctor come by just after the events of FotD and lend her one of his regenerations? There are a lot of ways they could bring her back.

  64. Openattheclose says:

    So when River and the Doctor are having their big emotional moment by the lake, there's like a bunch of tiny little people having it with them? Why do I find this so hilarious?

    • Because it is hilarious!!

    • karate0kat says:

      Do we know for sure they were still in there? He was dancing around the eye and talking ot River at the same time, so obviously you don't need to be in the control room to run all the controls. And if he could run the voice from not the control room then maybe he's running everything else on his own too (the Tardis is right behind him when we see in the eye). So maybe they beamed up to the mother ship and gave him the robot body to use himself.

      • notemily says:

        oh dude the tardis was there? i didn't even see. that explains where she went!

        • Openattheclose says:

          It's funny because when the teselecta was first introduced in LKH, I thought the Doctor was going to fly the TARDIS into it and Doctor/Amy/Rory would get miniaturized through the power of the TARDIS' dimensional thingy it can do. I think that's the technical term, anyway. So I think it's neat that the Doctor must have landed the TARDIS in there, because how else would it get shrunk? I wonder how many tries it took for him to do it 🙂

  65. psycicflower says:

    Confidential time *tear*

  66. …who would have thought that the Silence was really attractive under the suit?

  67. tehrevel says:

    OK so had time to digest it. Pretty good overall but I'm hoping we go back to single episodes next year (I've heard this is happening anyway but yeah)

    A few things I didn't like, kinda annoyed that we still don't know why the TARDIS exploded in Series 5. You can assume the Silence did it but no one explains that or confirms it.

    Also when the Silence are about to kill Rory, how did Amy return? Shouldn't she have forgotten all about them as soon as she left since she didn't have her eye-drive anymore?

    • tehrevel says:

      When I say single episodes I mean standalone with less of a focus on an overarching story, season 5 had the cracks but they didn't completely dominate very many episodes overall.

    • But she would remember Rory wouldn't she? And maybe wonder why she was leaving him behind?

      • tehrevel says:

        Yeah thinking about it again it's been long established that Amy remembers things better than most people, she remembered seeing the Silence at Lake Silencio and in the Whitehouse when she talked to the one in the Whitehouse bathroom. Also rebooting the universe and such.

  68. Karen Gillen + Dressing Gown + Machine Gown = BADASS

  69. Rory and Amy have an amazing back garden.

  70. psycicflower says:

    This River bit in Confidential is making me think how heart breaking it would be to see the Doctor telling the Ponds River's dead.

    EDIT: Also I still really want to see that final date even if I'd probably end up crying.

  71. chichichimaera says:

    That Einstein short was hilarious.

  72. Minish says:

    Well, that was a mess.

    But I suppose that was the idea. And it was a lot of fun, so what the hell!

  73. ferriswheeljunky says:

    Urgh, I'm so confused. Why did they get married then? Was there a reason I'm missing, or were they just like, well, why the hell not? (And why couldn't the Doctor tell River, 'lol, not really me' at the lake?)

    On the other hand, 'texting and scones' pretty much sums up my last relationship, so win.

    • WaveMaker989 says:

      Because, er… well… because Moffat. That is the only answer that will ever be truly given to us fans.

    • chichichimaera says:

      So he would have an excuse to kiss the bride and end the time-freeze.

    • Neet says:

      Like chichichimaera said, but also so she would let him get close enough to look in his eye without risking anyone else hearing what was going on. Same at the lake, he didn't want to risk the Silence overhearing.

    • Noybusiness says:

      And so he could "[give] all he could give her".

    • Burnie says:

      Because he had never met someone who would suffer more at his death than the whole rest of the universe would suffer if he lived.

  74. doesntsparkle says:

    The Doctor should take Dorium's head on as a companion.

  75. Chris Durston says:

    How did the Teselecta mimic regeneration? Can it do that?!
    (am I misremembering that when we first saw that scene, the Doctor started to regenerate before he was shot again?)

    • Saz says:

      The tesselecta can mimic anything. Like a motobike that works and everything. So the regeneration was probably easy for them

  76. Hotaru_hime says:

    Wow. Well. I'll be damned.
    I hope next series is more fun… this was all too serious.

  77. @westeros says:

    CHRISTMAS PTERODACTYLLLLL

  78. redletter_ says:

    WAIT A MINUTE. The fact that that robot thing from Let's Kill Hitler (The tessalecta?) is being featured so prominently in this Previously On has got me thinking a Robot Doctor will be dying in the real ones place.

    <img src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c230/Gemini-m4c/gifs/tumblr_lqtpnvOGiF1qzk6wy.gif"&gt;
    WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. Is everyone suddenly immortal? Or time is … frozen…

    Moffat, look, you really need to stop it with these vaugely sexist remarks, really.

  79. redletter_ says:

    The Doctor and Dumbledore, both huge fans of knitting patterns.

    EYEPATCH, so they must be something to do with helping you remember them, right?

    That was a terrible special effect, WELL OF SKULLS 😀 NUNG NUNG NUNG RAAARRRRR.

    MOFO SILENCE. D: THEY ARE HEEEEEERE.

  80. kartikeya200 says:

    AHHHHH
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    OMGWTFBBQTHAT WAS AWESOME HATERS

    <——————— TO THE LEFT

    MUSIC VIDEO TIME

  81. redletter_ says:

    RIVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR. You might have just broken all of time but you are still a BAMF.

    So, she prevented the Doctor's death and now all of time is happening at once? Did the rest of the season just get erased again?

    I can handle Silents, right up until they do that ROOF CLING, ERRRRRGHHH.

    <img src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c230/Gemini-m4c/gifs/orig-12533331.gif"&gt;

    Massive DNW.

  82. redletter_ says:

    AMY, WHAT IS THIS, WHAT IS THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

    <img src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c230/Gemini-m4c/gifs/cce6aa9e-c40c-4ae7-aebe-d7780d6fc009.gif"&gt;

    You seriously need a haircut Doctor, you're about to cross the fine line between long hair and a mullet.

    Rorrrrrrryyyyy!

    There is definitely something going on here. Million bucks says River and/or Kovarian is waiting upstairs.

  83. Minish says:

    I think I liked it a lot more the second go 'round.

  84. redletter_ says:

    Heh, I was right.

    Run, Rorrrrrrryyyyyyy.

    Amy with a gun taking out Silents like the BAMF she is.

    <img src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c230/Gemini-m4c/gifs/tumblr_lqsqhwkCjc1qhblq6.gif"&gt;

    All my dreams come true.

  85. redletter_ says:

    What, WHAT WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT. THEY JUST GOT MARRIED. I AM TOO HUNGOVER FOR THIS.

    And he told her his name. So, is Doctor who the question then?

    So, after a series of endless trolling, Moffat's gone for a finale where everything really is EXACTLY AS YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. River's wedding? Boom. Yep, she marries the Doctor. River's in the suit? Boom. She was, but couldn't go through with it.

  86. redletter_ says:

    River drops in for a wine with her mum and I cried ALL THE TEARS.

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT THE TESSALECTA.

    And it is Doctor who… so, Moffat is setting this up as a lead in to the 50th anniversary series then? The fall of the Eleventh. HMMMMMMMMM.

    Overall, series 5 had a much stronger mytharc, but series 6 wasn't without it merits, which mainly were The Doctor's Wife, because NEIL FUCKING GAIMAN.

    Now I have to go skull a liter or more of water and inhale a bacon sandwich. BREAKFAST TIME, YAY.

  87. t09yavorsaur says:

    Just started!!! Coolest London EVER!

  88. t09yavorsaur says:

    Shaggy Doctor!!

  89. t09yavorsaur says:

    Cool chess board. Creepy tunnel.

  90. t09yavorsaur says:

    Dorium + the Doctor are so fun, why did we not get to hang out with them til he got headless.

  91. canyonoflight says:

    Twenty-eight minutes on the east coast until Doctor Who!!!

  92. t09yavorsaur says:

    Brigadier!!! Aww. 🙁

  93. t09yavorsaur says:

    So the Doctor dies and the Universe breaks?

  94. t09yavorsaur says:

    Rory looks like G. I. Joe.

  95. Always Amy says:

    well the only thing I can think of to improve it would be if madam vastra and jenny made an appearance.

  96. t09yavorsaur says:

    BAMF Ponds! Heck Yes!!!

  97. Lady X says:

    It’s about to start! 🙂 asdf jkl; asdf jkl;

Comments are closed.