Mark Watches ‘The Golden Compass’ Liveblog!

Ok, despite that I’ve actually seen this movie and apparently erased most of it from my mind, I still think it’s a fitting end to having finished The Golden Compass over on Mark Reads. (FYI: READ THAT BOOK. HOLY SHIT.) So, as I continue into the second book of the His Dark Materials trilogy, let’s take a moment to find a few things to appreciate about this cinematic version of a fantastic book!

Multiple liveblogs are planned for Mark Watches in the coming two weeks. We’re starting this weekend with The Golden Compass, and then next weekend we’ll do the final episode of Avatar on Saturday and then A Very Potter Sequel on Sunday, in preparation for the GREAT HARRY POTTER WEEKEND OF 2011.

Anyway, on to The Golden Compass!

This liveblog starts at 11:00am PDT on Saturday, July 2nd. Please consult a world clock to determine what time that is for you.

At 11:00am PDT, use the comments below as your own platform for commentary as we start the movie from the menu screen (or on your computer if you you’re using a digital file) right at that time. That’s it!

Hope you can join me for this online party!

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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724 Responses to Mark Watches ‘The Golden Compass’ Liveblog!

  1. lossthief says:

    "That's intercission."

    Wait, WHEN DID LYRA LEARN THAT WORD. Did I miss something?

  2. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    How does Ma Costa know Billy's dæmon is missing?

    • pica_scribit says:

      Mothers can sense this stuff? What's she actually doing there?

    • Brieana says:

      That bothered me too. The logical conclusion would be that Ratter is hiding or she just didn't see him.

    • settledforhistory says:

      Just like Lyra knew Billy was in the hut without anyone telling her.

    • Stephalopolis says:

      I think Lyra said he was missing his daemon when she first walked up, didn't she?

      Or I could be wrong. I'm having a hard time following. Maybe my mind is now making things up to make things make sense.

  3. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    YES. IOREK STOMPING OUT DÆMON WOLVES.

  4. psycicflower says:

    Bring his daemon back? How can this film fail so hard at the most basic element of its universe.

  5. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    WAIT WHAT THE FUCK. Why are they at the palace???

  6. Brieana says:

    See? she said "we'll bring her back" not "we'll get you a new daemon".

  7. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I don't like the fireworks display when people die. The first time it happened I thought for a second that someone was Firebending.

    • t09yavorski says:

      I was watching the finale of series one of NuWho and I realized dissolving Daleks looks just like that as well.

  8. settledforhistory says:

    That is one creepy doll!

  9. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I realized that Iorek bothers me because because his head-shape seems kind of simian, rather than ursine.

  10. psycicflower says:

    I think we need a movie dedicated to the adventures of Iorek and Lee Scoresby. Obviously made by a different company.

    • arctic_hare says:

      NXN Bapr Hcba n Gvzr va gur Abegu. =Q Jvgu lbhat Yrr naq Vberx naq Urfgre orvat fanexl. Vg'f fb ornhgvshy.

      • psycicflower says:

        V qb ybir zr fbzr fanex. V'z bayl nobhg n guveq bs gur jnl guebhtu Gur Nzore Fcltynff ohg V'yy unir gb frr vs V pna genpx gung qbja nsgre V'z svavfurq. (jbj zvenpyr bs zvenpyrf vg ybbxf yvxr zl penccl ybpny yvoenel npghnyyl unf vg \b/)

      • Mauve_Avenger says:

        I just finished it, but I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it yet. If nothing else, though…Yrr Fpberfol naq Vberx Oleavfba: xvpxvat nff naq zvfcebabhapvat rnpu bgure'f anzrf.

  11. lossthief says:

    Lyra is an intelligent child, no?

    Then why did they have her stand PERFECTLY STILL, while she sees a guy aiming a spear towards her?

    Also, why did Pan say "We've been going for hours"? Like Lyra can't tell time?

    Why did they take her to Svalbard? What made them think Iofur Ragnar would want some random blond child?

  12. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    what is even happening THIS IS ALL OUT OF ORDER.

  13. Brieana says:

    I like Ragnar's little doll!daemon.

  14. settledforhistory says:

    Of course Lyra has no idea how to keep a secret and uses the compass infront of everyone.

  15. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I don't like the way she pronounces "Bolvangar." I think of the 'gar' as being nice and long, like in "wingardium leviosa.'

  16. elusivebreath says:

    I think this is the part of the movie where I just threw up my hands lol

  17. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    i can barely pay attention right now. THIS IS RATHER WRONG. But I did learn how to play "Excuse Me Mr" by No Doubt on my guitar in the meantime!

  18. Mauve_Avenger says:

    The "oh Pan, what have I done" doesn't seem nearly as despondent as it's supposed to be.

  19. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    POLAR BEAR FIGHT!!!!

  20. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Strangely, Iorek's armor seems quite a bit more decorative than the other bears'. It looks like it's been filigreed. Rustier, but still.

  21. psycicflower says:

    This movie fails so bad, armoured bears are about to fight but I'm contemplating opening up a fic to read in another window.

  22. settledforhistory says:

    The fight was too short and bloodless.

  23. lossthief says:

    My video stream crapped out and I had to find a new one. What scene are we currently on?

  24. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    i don't remember the jaw flying off. HOLY SHIT.

  25. Stephalopolis says:

    What did the whole polar bear scene bring to the movie plot? It's not like they have Asriel with them, or any other reason to be there. It was completely useless (in the movie. Not in the book.)

    • pica_scribit says:

      Action sequence. And, you know, polar bear fight.

      • Stephalopolis says:

        But… the needless switching around of the plot- they could have still had their action sequence and polar bear fight at the end like it is in the book. Just a throwaway line that they know where Asriel is and boom, there you go.

    • lossthief says:

      Seriously, WHY did they move the Svalbard stuff to before Bolvangar? What sense does that make?

    • knut_knut says:

      a movie isn't worth watching unless there's a sweet battle scene

      …I guess? But seriously, I have no idea

  26. Brieana says:

    Oh the ice bridge from the end of the story.

    I'd take a rickety bridge with planks missing over an ice bridge any day.

  27. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Why would Iorek think that he could cross this? Makes no sense.

  28. settledforhistory says:

    Why is she at the station now? The whole timeline is just WRONG!

  29. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Because of the way he pronounces "Lyra," I thought for a second that Iorek was screaming "Father."

  30. vattna says:

    Creepy zombie!daemon dog…

  31. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    No I recall why I don't remember this movie from the first time around. IT'S FUCKING CONFUSING.

  32. pica_scribit says:

    That doctor looks familiar….

    Edit: Ah, right. He was a regular on Being Human…

  33. knut_knut says:

    I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE TIMELINE CHANGES!!

    CAPSLOCK RAGE AND CONFUSION

  34. Mauve_Avenger says:

    "Can you see him? Is he here?" Umm…that room is tiny. Not hard to find a person in there.

  35. Brieana says:

    One of those kids is playing with a toy zeppelin.

  36. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Why would they let two kids just wander around alone in the station?

    • lossthief says:

      Because this movie hasn't made sense since the beginning so it might as well stay consistent.

  37. lossthief says:

    If the first half of this movie was rushed and awkwardly executed, the second half is where they just stopped giving a shit.

  38. psycicflower says:

    How has no one accidentally kicked Lyra hiding under that table?

  39. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Why the hell wouldn't they notice that there's been a kid under the table the entire time?

  40. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Ugh, that box is creepy as fuck, even here.

  41. Brieana says:

    Too bad that they only mentioned once that it's not allowed to touch someone else's daemon.

  42. Brieana says:

    "iorek byrnison is going to kill you! He'll rip your guts out."

  43. Mauve_Avenger says:

    She didn't seem nearly as upset as I imagined her being before she got put in the machine.

  44. settledforhistory says:

    "some of our ancestors made a terrible mistake" Nice way of leaving out any connection to religion.

  45. psycicflower says:

    They're just throwing bits of explanation around left, right and centre.

  46. Brieana says:

    There's our Adam and Eve explaination.

  47. Stephalopolis says:

    "Lyra…… I am your Mother!!!"
    "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

  48. lossthief says:

    Now here's the "Luke, I Am Your Father" scene that WASN'T in the book.

  49. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    what is even happening

  50. Mauve_Avenger says:

    So in this version, Lyra was forcibly taken from Mrs Coulter? Not sure if want.

  51. vattna says:

    I love how Lyra just kicks shit like she's a mini Chuck Norris. Kickin' doors open, kickin' kidnappers in the face, trying to kick that creepy mesh cage.

  52. Mauve_Avenger says:

    How did she guess that Lord Asriel is her father?

  53. echinodermata says:

    what what what

  54. Mauve_Avenger says:

    So…no plans instituted to let the other children know when to escape? Or did I just miss it?

    • pica_scribit says:

      This movie has not time for your logic!

    • psycicflower says:

      I think there was one line when Lyra met Roger again for the first time.

      • Stephalopolis says:

        Yeah… she told him to tell the others to get their warm clothes ready. And Roger, ever the practical one, asked then what. And she said first she had to find an empty room (presumably to use the alethiometer). And then she was captured. So…. they had a plan to play dress up?

  55. pica_scribit says:

    I think the amount of control varies from movie to movie, depending on the contract. After "The Name of the Rose", Umberto Eco swore he'd never allow another of his books to be made into a film.

  56. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Ok, the Tartars are done well. I must admit.

  57. lossthief says:

    The amount of control? Practically zero.

    The amount of influence? That depends on the company that buys the rights, as well as who they hire on to be direct and write. For the HP books for instance, JKR has to approve the script before it's used.

  58. Stephalopolis says:

    Actually… I can't believe I'm saying this… But I kind of like the fact that Lyra just pushes and pulls a bunch of buttons rather than just pulling the fire alarm.

  59. Brieana says:

    I like that she blows up the silver guillotine.

  60. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Why was the intercision machine that easy to destroy. And completely unprotected.

  61. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Did Iorek just teleport?

  62. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    LOVE YOU SERAFINA

  63. pica_scribit says:

    Someone totally performed Intercision on this film….

  64. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Um…why would she just stand there and say "better not touch me." He has a fucking sword.

  65. vattna says:

    Seraphina, you badass!

  66. psycicflower says:

    The Gyptians! And Scoresby! \o/

  67. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Yay more firebending.

  68. settledforhistory says:

    'Not my Lyra you b****!'

  69. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Ok, this battle is done super well. I like it a lot.

  70. t09yavorski says:

    "They were making changes of all kinds, large and small, right up to the last minute – and that's the way you make films. Some of the changes were based on the assumption that the sequels would be made swiftly after the first film, which turned out not to be the case. That's the way it goes." ~Pullman

    "The democracy of reading means that as soon as a book is published you lose control of how it's interpreted anyhow, and so you should. To tell someone else how to read your book is to fall into the temptation of fundamentalism. When it comes to performance and film and so on, what you should do, it seems to me, is make sure the people you sell it to know what they're doing, and then leave them alone. You are better employed writing new books than arguing with people about how to interpret your existing ones." ~Pullman

    I just read these the other day and thought to save them for the liveblog.

    • knut_knut says:

      ok, this is a very stupid question and I know nothing about anything, but why even sell the rights to your book in the first place? Not all film interpretations of books are bad, but it still seems pretty risky

      • t09yavorski says:

        The second quote was actually in answer to this question:

        "Your work has been performed on radio, television and the stage and the film rights to His Dark Materials have been sold. Is it difficult to give up your work to someone else¹s interpretation?"

        He talks about the democracy of reading a lot.

    • t09yavorski says:

      I should add that those quotes come from Pullman's website Q&A – But watch out for SPOILERS

  71. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Ma Costa just shot someone. Awesome. I was always kind of wary of the whole "let's bring up the possibility of women coming along for the journey and then dismiss it out of hand in a single sentence" thing the book had going on.

  72. lossthief says:

    "I have to go to my father…Mrs. Coulter and them, they're gonna kill him!"

    Um, and where exactly IS Asriel? We haven't seen him since that scene that looked like it was lifted from a Bond film. He can't be at Svalbard seeing as Lyra was JUST THERE, so are they just going to search the entire North for him?

  73. lossthief says:

    "I know where she's going."

    Well I'm glad SOMEBODY does, because I sure as hell don't.

  74. settledforhistory says:

    This is it? So we are left to believe Asriel is a great guy and Roger lives and WTF?

    • pica_scribit says:

      Pretty much.

    • elusivebreath says:

      I hate this in light of how there are no other movies to continue it. Grrr.

      • settledforhistory says:

        Yea, but even with a sequel, how would they have started that, with Asriel killing Billy?
        That makes no sense, why not put in that scene here instead of that happy little summary at the end?

        • Stephalopolis says:

          Exactly. The way the book ended had a great cliffhanging "hook" so why create your own when you could just use that?

      • knut_knut says:

        maybe one day it will get the faithful film interpretation it deserves! Remember those horrible cartoon versions of LOTR (or was it just FOTR and The Hobbit….they used to show them on the Disney Channel)? THERE'S STILL HOPE!

        • lossthief says:

          I remember the animated films actually being alright.

          Except for the 3rd one. THAT was pretty bad.

  75. psycicflower says:

    Here's the hook for the sequel in the form of a summary of all the problems still ahead.

  76. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    BOOOOO AWFUL ENDING BOOOOO

  77. echinodermata says:

    what the fuck

  78. pica_scribit says:

    …and then I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK?!" in the theatre.

  79. psycicflower says:

    So … that's it?

  80. Stephalopolis says:

    Chris Weitz, I shake my fist at you.

    • lossthief says:

      Don't blame him, They actually SHOT the entire ending. It was New Line that cut the movie all to hell, and shoddily tried to make it all make sense.

  81. knut_knut says:

    UUUUUUUUGH the book had SUCH A PERFECT ENDING!! WHY WOULD THEY CHANGE IT??? WHYYYYYYYY

  82. pica_scribit says:

    I think I hate this song.

  83. Brieana says:

    I already knew about the ending by the time I watched this, so I wasn't bothered.

  84. lossthief says:

    Wait, so the Magisterium WANTS to unlock a path to a new world, so that they can take over all the universes ever? Then why would they be against Asriel in the beginning?

  85. psycicflower says:

    loling at the lyrics to this Lyra song.

  86. pica_scribit says:

    So does anyone else feel like "intercision" is an apt metaphor for what happened to this film?

  87. bookgal12 says:

    Horrible ending.

  88. Stephalopolis says:

    Cheesy song is cheesy.

  89. elusivebreath says:

    And here is the part where I just… I can't even… this ending is so … ok, like I could make a case for it if there were the next two movies and they picked up from here, but in light of the fact that this is IT. Idk, unless you have the other films already green lighted, it's kind of a dumb idea to end your movie in a way that needs another movie to finish it … and then have that movie not come out.

    • elusivebreath says:

      omg that comment is just incoherent lol. AS ARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ENDING OF THIS FILM.

      • settledforhistory says:

        I agree with your incoherent comment. 🙂 But even with a sequel it would have been stupid to film it like that. It's like ending HBP befor Dumbledore dies and let him die at the beginning of DH1. It's simply not how it happened in the books.

        • Stephalopolis says:

          Exactly! "Oh yay, we got the locket!!" *fly off together triumphantly into the night* *end credits*

        • elusivebreath says:

          Yeah, I agree with you, I was trying to be generous lol. The book's ending really was perfect. *SIGH*

      • knut_knut says:

        it's ok, we know what you mean! I always saw this movie as New Line's appeal to make the trilogy (if that makes any sense) and it's so disappointing that THIS what they come up with AND they couldn't even give it a proper ending! It's like showing up to a job interview hung over and without your pants on. MAKES NO SENSE.

        • elusivebreath says:

          At first I read this as "with your pants on" and I was like, um, yeah actually you probably should wear pants to the interview lol.

  90. Brieana says:

    I just learned this at the beginning of MRTGC but by now it feels like old news. So the original movie was cut up by the studio and if you hated this adaptation, at least blame the right people.

  91. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I want my moneytime spent downloading this movie back.

  92. lossthief says:

    And the worst part is, this still isn't the worst Film Adaptation I've seen for a book I grew up with. Right now THAT title still belongs to "Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief".

    • Mauve_Avenger says:

      I've heard that the adaptation for The Dark is Rising is pretty darn awful. Haven't seen it, though, because I'm a big fan of the books.

      • lossthief says:

        The movie is pretty bad, but I never read the books until about a year ago so I didn't include it. The PJO adaptation was REALLY BAD though. I won't say more since Mark is eventually planning on reading those, but it pretty much misses the point on EVERY angle.

      • Saphling says:

        WE DO NOT SPEAK OF IT. IT IS THE FILM THAT MUST NOT BE NAMED.

        *also a huge fan* I saw a good portion of my childhood slaughtered by that movie.

      • Weston says:

        It's pretty horrific.

    • t09yavorski says:

      I liked Percy Jackson well enough. And at least THEY get their sequel. (Sea of Monsters is in Pre-Production.)

      • lossthief says:

        It is? Hadn't heard of that.

        But it doesn't really matter, after what they did to Grover I am NOT looking forward to it.

      • Brieana says:

        I don't think it'd make sense with a sequel. I guess I can't go into that since Mark is going to read the books, but the thing that linked all the stories together wasn't there in the first movie.

        • t09yavorski says:

          It is possible with some creative movie-making. It would also have to branch out a little more from the original but I hear they want to make the second better (as an adaptation) then the first was so hopefully they can pull that small bit off.

  93. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I misread the credit for the actor playing John Faa as "Jim Carrey."

  94. vattna says:

    Considering how much they worked to skirt the religious controversy in the movie, I'm still trying to figure out why the Vatican petitioned them to stop production on the sequels. Seriously, *flails* what is so fundamentally detrimental about this <<fantasy world>> that they had their knickers in a twist about it?!

    • lossthief says:

      It's sort of their job to do it at this point. Remember the crap that "Harry Potter" took way back when? And there wasn't anything in those books that was against the church.

      • knut_knut says:

        did the Vatican really freak out over Harry Potter? I thought it was just uber-religious people (like the ones in Jesus Camp)

      • vattna says:

        True. I guess I just wish they hadn't caved. I've read the trilogy, and there is NO COMPARISON to the beauty and complexity of the books. But to really make the books into a film it would have to be a mini-series just to get all the detail in, and even then you'd be missing so much of the written context… I loved the cast, the movie was pretty and fairly entertaining, and I'd have liked to see the rest of it played out. *shrug*

    • settledforhistory says:

      The funny thing is, with trying to stop the production of sequels they are proving Pullman's point, about the Church having too much power, right.

    • pica_scribit says:

      Without saying anything spoilery, I don't see how they could have stripped two more movies of all their controversial elements as they did with this one. The way things turn out, it's just not possible.

      • Brieana says:

        Maybe that's part of the reason why the movies haven't been made.

        • lossthief says:

          That's part of it, but the biggest problem was that "The Golden Compass" didn't do as well at the Domestic Box Office as they had hoped, and the sequels' futures were staked on how much money it made New Line. It did better than expected overseas, but since New Line doesn't make that money, and this was around the time the economy started going to crap, they didn't want to risk making sequels that weren't a surefire success.

          • Geolojazz says:

            Overseas they marketed it as a family film, which worked well. North America they marketed it as a edgy fantasy flick a la Lord of the Rings…so many of the guys who went in to see it weren't as impressed as a family expecting a kids flick finding something a bit more interesting.

    • Geolojazz says:

      Wasn't the Vatican…movie just didn't make enough money stateside to greenlight sequels. They marketed it horribly.

  95. Stephalopolis says:

    To sum it up… Good actors, good scenery, good music I think (can't really recall it…and this is excluding that awful end credit song), good costumes, good props….. awful script and editing. Points wise, they're ahead, however, apparently the script is worth more points because that caused this movie to crash, burn, and sink.

    • lossthief says:

      Take away the "good actors" (and most of the "good Sceneery") and you have the basic summation of "The Last Airbender". Though the script and editing in TLA was MILES worse than this. At least you had characters acting like they should be.

  96. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I like how my browser still claims that there are only 38 comments.

  97. lossthief says:

    So now we wait with baited breath to receive Mark's thoughts on the movie! I expect disappointment!

  98. Stephalopolis says:

    The only good thing that came out of this movie was that I discovered the "Last Activity" button.

    Seriously- how have I not seen you before????

    • lossthief says:

      I don't even know what that is.

      • Stephalopolis says:

        Right underneath where it says Comments (#) in larger font, there's an option to Sort by: Date Rating Last activity. I've always just used the default, date, and then randomly scrolled through comments each day to see what's been updated. But if you click on "Last Activity" it sorts them by how recent the comments been made, or someone's replied to, with the most recent comments/replies on the top of the page.

        • Stephalopolis says:

          So in the past, I would have to go to page 2, and just refresh to see if anyone's made any additional comments on a thread, but now, with Last Activity, I can click that, and if anyone's made a reply to a comment thread recently, that comment will be at the top of the main page

    • Stephalopolis says:

      The "Rating" sorting is also pretty fun 🙂

      • stellaaaaakris says:

        The Rating sorting is how I find lots of Mark's comments, as long as they're not replies, after liveblogs. Also how I usually find some fun gifs. I do enjoy those sorting options.

    • echinodermata says:

      I will warn you though, sometimes it doesn't work when the new comment is a reply to someone.

    • elusivebreath says:

      Oh. Em. Gee. I wish I had known about that BEFORE the liveblog lol

  99. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    I'll probably post a loose "review" tomorrow. Thanks for joining me, everyone!

  100. Albion19 says:

    OK I just watched this for the first time. It looks gorgeous, it's very well cast and I know if I hadn't read the book before hand I would have loved it.

    Disappointed because it could have been wonderful.

Comments are closed.