Mark Watches ‘The Golden Compass’ Liveblog!

Ok, despite that I’ve actually seen this movie and apparently erased most of it from my mind, I still think it’s a fitting end to having finished The Golden Compass over on Mark Reads. (FYI: READ THAT BOOK. HOLY SHIT.) So, as I continue into the second book of the His Dark Materials trilogy, let’s take a moment to find a few things to appreciate about this cinematic version of a fantastic book!

Multiple liveblogs are planned for Mark Watches in the coming two weeks. We’re starting this weekend with The Golden Compass, and then next weekend we’ll do the final episode of Avatar on Saturday and then A Very Potter Sequel on Sunday, in preparation for the GREAT HARRY POTTER WEEKEND OF 2011.

Anyway, on to The Golden Compass!

This liveblog starts at 11:00am PDT on Saturday, July 2nd. Please consult a world clock to determine what time that is for you.

At 11:00am PDT, use the comments below as your own platform for commentary as we start the movie from the menu screen (or on your computer if you you’re using a digital file) right at that time. That’s it!

Hope you can join me for this online party!

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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724 Responses to Mark Watches ‘The Golden Compass’ Liveblog!

  1. Brieana says:

    mrs coulter has a portrait of herself in her own home.

  2. Stephalopolis says:

    I always imagined Pan as the voice of reason and sense to Lyra's sense of adventure…. and here he is suggesting to go into the room.

    Oh wait, 2 minutes later and he's saying it's a bad idea.

  3. Mauve_Avenger says:

    The "kiss me" part seems weird here.

  4. psycicflower says:

    Wow, talk about just dumping the plot out there with no finese at all.

  5. Brieana says:

    I like how their fire is green.

  6. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    well, that was done poorly. She already figured it out?

  7. pica_scribit says:

    Are they going to get the exposition right on *anything* in this damn movie?

  8. Stephalopolis says:

    Never in a million years would I randomly go from General Oblation Board to Gobblers. I would have to have someone tell me (much like how it was done in the book.)

  9. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Why the hell would the Gobblers have a list of the names of the kids???

  10. settledforhistory says:

    Lyra could have never escaped that way, with Mrs Coulter knowing immedeatly,

    • Mauve_Avenger says:

      I think it depends on whether you interpret the scene at Bolvangar as the two of them lying even though they both know the truth.

  11. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    No party at all?

  12. lossthief says:

    "G, O, B. GOBBLERS!"

    That's a pretty quick guess isn't it?

  13. Brieana says:

    too bad they don't have paper shredders in this world.

  14. pica_scribit says:

    How has Mrs Coulter already contacted a search party for Lyra?

  15. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Oh, whoa, they showed the dæmons dying. Holy shit.

  16. bookgal12 says:

    Wow, lyra is a quick study.

  17. echinodermata says:

    Aw, Ma Costa.

  18. settledforhistory says:

    Why does lyra say "gyptians" that way? As if they're something disgusting.

  19. Stephalopolis says:

    This music right here is pretty catchy *boogies down*

  20. psycicflower says:

    'What are you looking at?' Love you Lyra

  21. lossthief says:

    Did we really need that 30 second shot of them sailing on a boat?

  22. pica_scribit says:

    Roping? Who needs a roping? We've already got our big-ass boat to head North; we were just waiting for Lyra to join us.

  23. Mauve_Avenger says:

    He makes it sound like they're spying on her because Lord Asriel told them to.

  24. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    The design of the alethiometer is done really well.

  25. Stephalopolis says:

    "She and their gobblers took my Billy! I saw it on their weekly newsletter they email out to the subscriber list"

    • settledforhistory says:

      Maybe Coulter let papers lie around somewhere else.She seems quite careless here anyway.

  26. pica_scribit says:

    I wish they would stop saying "Golden Compass", like we can't figure out what the title refers to.

  27. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Good job spilling the beans, Pantalaimon.

  28. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I kind of want to count the number of gyptians who're wearing black eyeliner.

  29. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    WHY ARE THEY SHOWING BOLVANGAR ALREADY.

  30. lossthief says:

    "On top of the hour glass…there's a skull"

    SYMBOLISM

  31. pica_scribit says:

    Bolvangar looks so…clinical. Which is good, right?

  32. psycicflower says:

    'They teach us to write the truth. Miss.' Billy Costa FTW

  33. settledforhistory says:

    Why do they show who send the insects? That takes out all the thrill.

  34. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Why is Fra Pavel acting like he doesn't know that Mrs. Coulter is Lyra's mother?

  35. echinodermata says:

    I would be confused as fuck had I not read the book.

  36. Stephalopolis says:

    Why are Billy and Roger cooperating? I mean…. Not just them, but all the kids. We weren't shown Coulter manipulating them and the children willingly going along, we were shown them being kidnapped forcefully. Why keep up the lie about writing the parents and that they are helping them?

    • pica_scribit says:

      Because when you've got a big group of kids, you've got to keep them busy doing something. Writing to family is as good an activity as any.

  37. psycicflower says:

    Wait, Lord Asriel, what?

  38. lossthief says:

    "How- ah yes, the master."

    Little too nonchalant about that, aren't you Pravel?

    Also, Coulter and the Church don't find out about the prophecy until fucking Book 2! PACING MOVIE. PACING!!!!!!

  39. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    God this movie is SUPER PRETTY.

  40. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Is this turning into a Bond movie?

  41. pica_scribit says:

    Why "Ice Bears"? Why not keep it "Armoured Bears"? There's no good reason to make that change. I mean, it's pretty obvious they they're polar bars, right? Does anyone *not* know where polar bears live?

  42. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Why wouldn't Asriel have a gun?

  43. @Shoganate says:

    Where is my wolf daemon? =(

  44. settledforhistory says:

    They are called spy-flyes, not thief-flyes, they would't take the compass.

  45. lossthief says:

    let's not put anything down to hold that glass down or anything.

  46. Mauve_Avenger says:

    The spy-fly scene is a lot less frantic than I imagined t being.

  47. settledforhistory says:

    i would have liked to see Kaisa.

  48. Brieana says:

    The spy fly works via clockwork. Has anyone read Clockwork?

  49. lossthief says:

    Wait, the movie's almost halfway over already! Am I the only one who feels this movie's going way too fast for it's own good?

  50. psycicflower says:

    Serafina! Why is she just randomly popping up instead of the whole cloud pine test? Positively I'm really liking the music.

    • pica_scribit says:

      Because they already had Mrs Coulter and Fra Pavel make the prophesy revelation, so the Witch consul is pretty much irrelevant.

  51. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Turn into a fish, Pan, come on, do it.

  52. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I don't like the Pensieve-esque alethiometer readings.

  53. echinodermata says:

    How can this movie look so good and be so well cast, but be so bad?

  54. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Hi, I'm a beautiful witch, and I'm going to spell everything out for the audience.

  55. lossthief says:

    "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this" is essentially ALL Pan has said so far in this movie.

    And now Serefina's showing up early? and they're already revealing her relationship to Farder Coram? And the way she's talking to Lyra makes it look like SHE'S Lyra's mom?

    Movie, get your shit together.

  56. settledforhistory says:

    Right, she is hunted down by a mad woman and she just tells everyone her name and uses the alethiometer in the open, just great.

  57. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    OH MY GOD THE MOST PERFECT LEE SCORESBY IMAGINABLE.

  58. Stephalopolis says:

    Haha, for "dont' tell anyone", Lyra sure does let a lot of people see that Alethiometer.

  59. psycicflower says:

    Lee Scoresby I love you.

  60. Mauve_Avenger says:

    "Friend in a fix." So Lee's stated reason for being in Trollesund is the save Iorek?

  61. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    IOREK!!!!!

  62. Stephalopolis says:

    This movie is boring me. I enjoyed the book…. but I just can't keep my focus on the movie. Skips around too much and then massive info dumps all at once.

  63. Stephalopolis says:

    ARMORED BEAR! ARMORED BEAR! ARMORED BEAR!!!

    Wait…. Ice Bear 🙁

  64. psycicflower says:

    Iorek! (It's a bit strange hearing some of these voices when I'm so used to the audiobooks.)

  65. bookgal12 says:

    Lee Scoresby is fantastic.

  66. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    I LOVE YOU SASSY LYRA

  67. lossthief says:

    Wait. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

    …Am I hallucinating or does Iorek sound like Magneto?

    And why is he an "Ice Bear" now?

  68. Stephalopolis says:

    Wait…. "I was ever so excited, but now I'm just dissapointed"

    Is Lyra talking about meeting an "ice bear", or about watching this movie?

  69. knut_knut says:

    I took a short break to watch a little bit of Beauty and the Beast and now I have no idea what's going on…

    • pica_scribit says:

      Neither does anyone who's been watching the whole time….

    • Stephalopolis says:

      Don't worry… there will be a massive info dump in about 5 minutes that will explain about 10 chapters worth of answers.

  70. bookgal12 says:

    Oh my god, armored bear yes please

  71. Stephalopolis says:

    "And replace it with a doll"

    OIC WHAT U DID THER!!11!

  72. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Ummm…just defeated? If any bear who lost a fight had to leave Svalbard there'd be no one left.

  73. lossthief says:

    "My Name is Iorek, let me tell you my entire backstory rather than letting it come out organically, because it's not like this movie is really trying anyway."

  74. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    It's weird. The alethiometer works more like exposition/flashback than truth telling. I don't think I like that.

    • elusivebreath says:

      Yeah, it's kind of … idk, just not right, lol. If I ever win the lottery I'm going to spend my billions on making GOOD adaptations of my favorite books.

  75. settledforhistory says:

    Iorek's story is so wrong, he didn't lose. He killed someone!

  76. knut_knut says:

    I'm not sure if I like Sir Ian as Iorek :/ I like the idea! but I'm a bit creeped out by Gandalf's voice coming from a bear

  77. Brieana says:

    It didn't occur to me until I heard it read aloud that Iorek Byrnison wouldn't have a British accent.

  78. Mauve_Avenger says:

    I wish they'd left in the bit with him saying he had to work until sunset…It really highlights the whole honor issue.

  79. lossthief says:

    So can the rest of the movie just be about Lee? His actor's doing the best performance right now.

  80. Mauve_Avenger says:

    So Lee's plan to get Iorek out of his indenturement was to wait for a little kid to do it for him.

  81. @Shoganate says:

    Can I please marry Lee Scoresby now?

  82. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    NO WHY IS HE SAYING THAT LYRA WILL BE PUT THROUGH INTERCISION. NO.

  83. pica_scribit says:

    I do like the weird self-loathing of Mrs Coulter slapping her own daemon.

  84. Mauve_Avenger says:

    The Magisterium room just looks kind of fake?

  85. settledforhistory says:

    Why does the monkey just grunt and not talk? He is NOT an animal!

    • pica_scribit says:

      We never hear him talk in the book either. I think he's meant to be more primal and animalistic.

      • settledforhistory says:

        But he is wispering into Coulter's ear in the book, right. Se he too can talk.

        • pica_scribit says:

          I know he *can* talk, but I think that the reason why we never *hear* him is because of Mrs Coulter's primal, id-based MO.

      • Stephalopolis says:

        Yeah… I think it's supposed to be some commentary (that someone smarter and more eloquent than I will have to explain) about how bad mrs. coulter has become and how her conscience/soul reflects that.

    • Brieana says:

      He never talks in the book. He doesn't have a name either.
      It's mysterious.

    • settledforhistory says:

      Ok, I understand that. But actually Pan is the only dæmon who seems to have a personality in the movie.

  86. psycicflower says:

    Mrs. Coutler was meant to test intercission on Lyra? And now she just hit her daemon. What in the actual fuck is going on.

    • Mauve_Avenger says:

      The daemon hitting thing was actually written by Pullman.

      • psycicflower says:

        I don't remember that. I understand it's probably a self-hating thing but I just find it strange probably because of the whole daemon is like your soul thing.

    • knut_knut says:

      I actually liked the daemon hitting! I think it shows how seriously fucked up she is

  87. Brieana says:

    I read that originally, the Magisterium seal said something along the lines of "a church above all others". But then that had to get edited out.

  88. Stephalopolis says:

    Monkey- "Why do you love her more than me?"

  89. lossthief says:

    "Sir, it appears that Mrs. Coulter isn't as trustworthy as we thought."

    "I agree. That's why I'm glad I sent her off on this extremely important mission."

    SCRIPT WRITING EXPERT RIGHT HERE.

  90. echinodermata says:

    ffs this is just wrong

  91. Brieana says:

    I actually felt sorry for the golden monkey when Mrs Coulter slapped him.

  92. lossthief says:

    "It'll soon be dark"

    Um, so what? You guys are in THE NORTH. The place where you get about 6 HOURS OF SUNLIGHT PER DAY. If you're only travelling during sunny hours, this movie will need like 8 more awkward montages to finish up.

  93. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    WHY CAN'T I RIDE IOREK.

  94. Stephalopolis says:

    I know this happens in the book as well, so it's not really a movie complaint thing, just a blurb of mine…. But the first thing that flashed through my mind when I read/saw Lyra mentioning riding Iorek was that she shouldn't do that because it will offend him, based on my readings of Harry Potter and the unicorns' offense at it.

  95. lossthief says:

    What's up with the random shed in the middle of fucking nowhere?

  96. Mauve_Avenger says:

    Something about Iorek's face/head bothers me, and I don't know what it is.

  97. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    With no subtle build up to this moment, this scene is NOT TENSE AT ALL.

  98. pica_scribit says:

    ARGH! My DVD just skipped forward several scenes!

  99. Stephalopolis says:

    No daemon? Meh. No gasp out loud from me this time.

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