In the thirty-fourth episode of the first season of Steven Universe, Steven discovers a new power, and it’s really, really weird. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Steven Universe.Â
Trigger Warning: For body horror.
One thing Steven Universe executes consistently is how Steven’s powers manifest. He rarely accesses them through regular practice. (Though he did pull off a warp from trying!) Instead, his powers come out of nowhere, often appear by accident, or are born of highly-charged, emotional situations. In this specific case, Steven gains the ability to create a defensive force out of plant life. That sounds cool, right? Totally!
Except that’s not quite what happens here. First of all, let me state ONCE MORE that Steven’s relationship with his father is a beautiful thing. Their watermelon seed-spitting battle made me feel lots of things, and each of those things were a pain in my heart because they are too cute. However, Steven’s final move – a helicopter-esque spit barrage – gives birth to countless watermelons shaped exactly like Steven. (Thinking out loud here: what if this is related to the fact that Steven’s spit is healing???) They aren’t sentient… at first. What does Steven do with such a huge development? Well, this is Steven we’re talking about, so he sets up a stand so he can give them away. HE LITERALLY DOESN’T EVEN THINK OF SELLING THEM.
And even after Sadie and Ronaldo inspire him to sell the Watermelon Stevens, there’s yet another moment that proves how sweet and perfect Steven is. Onion steals Baby Melon because WHY IS ONION SO EVIL, I SWEAR. Anyway, that’s what “wakes up” the melons: danger! Once Steven needs help, the watermelons act as a line of defense for him. So Steven goes back to each and every person who bought one of the Watermelon Stevens and refunds their money so that they won’t hurt his watermelon friends. ISN’T YOUR HEART GOING TO EXPLODE FROM THIS, EVERYONE. Steven is such a good person!!!
I think most people would love to have a whole group of… well, actually, maybe this sentence has gotten away from me. It would have been cool to have a veritable army to defend me from bullies back when I was in school. But sentient watermelons? I don’t know about that. They’re creepy! In kind of a cute way, sure, but still really unnerving. When they turn on Ronaldo later in the episode, their little sharp mouths made me want to evaporate into the atmosphere. IT WAS A LOT.
I can see this power being a great thing once Steven is able to grasp control over the things he creates, but in “Watermelon Steven,” this ends up being utter chaos. The melons perceive everything as a threat on Steven’s life, which gives way to a RIDICULOUS fight sequence. (Which includes a reference to “Man Attacked by Babies” in the Vigeland Sculpture Park in Oslo! ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES IN THE WHOLE WORLD, I SWEAR.) I cannot believe this episode made me feel anguish over a watermelon, but here we are, in 2016, and Baby Melon’s sacrifice to save Steven is a real thing that I have to now deal with. BABY MELON GAVE UP THEIR LIFE. I can’t!
I hope the surviving watermelons don’t cause any other havoc, though I’m sure it’s gonna be real weird if someone comes across one. While it was thrilling to see Steven gain a new power, I’m glad that the writers are having him be responsible about it.
The video for “Watermelon Steven” can be downloaded here for $0.99.
Mark Links Stuff
– I am now on Patreon! There are various levels of support, from $1 up to whatever you want! You’ll get to read a private blog, extra reviews, and other such rewards. I POST A LOT OF CUTE PHOTOS, OKAY. Think of it like a private Tumblr blog that only SPECIAL PEOPLE get to read.
– I have updated my list of conventions and events for the remainder of the year and much of next year.  Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates / Appearances page.
– My Master Schedule is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often. My next Double Features for Mark Watches have been announced here.
- Mark Does Stuff is on Facebook! I’ve got a community page up that I’m running. Guaranteed shenanigans!
