In the twelfth episode of the first season of Steven Universe, GIANT WOMAN. GIANT WOMAN!!! If you’re intrigued, then it’s time for Mark to watch Steven Universe.
Oh my god. Oh my god. I had half a mind to make this review just the image of Steven on the ground, stars in his eyes, the wind blowing his hair majestically. Because that is me. That is me after watching “Giant Woman” because THIS EPISODE HAS CHANGED ME. In just a single episode of this show, I now have to rethink how the Gems work and the possibilities of the show and I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS.
I have a lot to say.
Checkers
I am 100% into water balloon checkers. It’s perfect. It should have swept the nation as the newest game already. Why hasn’t it???
Bickering
Prior to this, we’d seen a lot of arguing between Amethyst and Pearl. It’s part of their dynamic together, particularly since they are such polar opposites when it comes to their personalities. But that arguing reaches a pitch here, and it’s why the reveal of Opal is so important. The initial argument they have is all because they believe that fusing into Opal is impossible due to their inability to get along. And from what little I understand about fusing, you have to get along in order to perform the dance-ritual thing in order to fuse. It’s about coordination and trusting the other person. And frequently, Amethyst and Pearl cannot do either.
How do you get past that?
Joy
I just refuse to get over Steven’s excitement. I love it so much. As soon as Pearl explained fusing, I became Steven: I wanted nothing more than to see a giant woman. What did a fusion look like? Do fused gems have special powers? IS THERE A THEME SONG? Just kidding, we know the theme song: STEVEN’S PERFECT “GIANT WOMAN” THEME SONG THAT HE SINGS TO GET THEM TO FUSE INTO OPAL. Oh my god, you know what else is great? Steven escalating perfectly non-dangerous situations just to compel Amethyst and Pearl to fuse. You know what else is great? Steven, Jr. STEVEN COLLECTING CUTE ANIMALS FOR THE SHEER GOODNESS OF IT ALL.
Opal
I am still reeling from this, y’all. And for a moment, I wondered if it would even happen. Amethyst and Pearl couldn’t get along and coordinate dancing with each other long enough to stay fused! AND THEN STEVEN AND STEVEN JR GET EATEN BY THAT GIANT GEM BIRD, which I most certainly did not expect at all. I am interested in watching an actual fusion dance, but I think it was smart for the writers to surprise us with Opal once she ripped into the bird’s stomach to retrieve Steven and Steven Jr.
I just… the image of Steven, watching in wonder as Opal fights that bird… it’s beautiful. Incredible. INSPIRATIONAL. The bow, y’all. OPAL’S FUSION WEAPON IS A BOW. Oh my god, when Opal started singing “Giant Woman,” I wanted to burst into tears. Steven got exactly what he wanted, and so did we, and I WAS NOT READY FOR IT.
I want a thousand fusions. I want to see the weirdness of Garnet and Amethyst, or the SUPER ORGANIZATION of Garnet and Pearl. But “Giant Woman” saves one hell of a reveal for the end: Steven can also fuse. PLEASE. PLEASE. I WANT THIS MORE THAN I WANT MOST THINGS.
Look what this show has done to me. Look at it.
The video for “Giant Woman” can be downloaded here for $0.99.
Mark Links Stuff
– I am now on Patreon! There are various levels of support, from $1 up to whatever you want! You’ll get to read a private blog, extra reviews, and other such rewards. I POST A LOT OF CUTE PHOTOS, OKAY. Think of it like a private Tumblr blog that only SPECIAL PEOPLE get to read.
– I have updated my list of conventions and events for the remainder of the year and much of next year.  Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates / Appearances page.
– My Master Schedule is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often. My next Double Features for Mark Watches have been announced here.
- Mark Does Stuff is on Facebook! I’ve got a community page up that I’m running. Guaranteed shenanigans!
