Well, let’s go over what I predicted for season 5 before I stumble my way through predictions for the next season.
I predict:Â lots of failure.
- Zoey Bartlet won’t be found in the season premiere. Technically, I’m right? Unless the first two episodes were aired together. Bah, I’m counting this. 1/1
- President Walken is going to be RIDICULOUSLY HARD TO WORK WITH. Actually, he wasn’t as bad as I expected him to be. 1/2
- Zoey will be found by the FOURTH episode. Second! 2/3
- Bartlet will become president again by the FOURTH episode. Second! 3/4
- At some point in season five, Leo McGarry will be asked to be Bartlet’s Vice President. He’ll get yelled at a lot and DRAMATICALLY DISMISSED instead. 🙁 3/5
- HE WILL ACCEPT AND ALL WILL BE GLORIOUS. No, why did I do this. 3/6
- We will get a new cast member who will replace Leo’s old position. I fucked up already. 3/7
- By the mid-season mark, Donna will be forced to confront her feelings for Josh to Josh. GOD, SO CLOSE, AND YET SO TERRIBLY FAR. 3/8
- Will Bailey will write a truly terrible speech at one point in this season. Actually, the opposite: He got better. And defected. 3/9
- The Shareef controversy will come to a head in this season, and the administration will have to publicly answer for what they’ve done. Hahaha, continuity. 3/10
- There will be a State of the Union episode this season! Wow, I finally got one right, and it was basically a no-brainer. I’M SO BAD AT THIS. 4/11
- A Big Block of Cheese Day, too! Ugh. But we got a real one, so yay? 4/12
- And the holiday/Christmas episode will ruin me. I’ve seen worse, so only half a point. 4.5/13
- This season’s character who will make me most teary-eyed: Donna. WELL, THIS WAS A GOOD GUESS BUT IS ALSO A BAD ONE BECAUSE TOO MANY TEARS. 5.5/14
- Given what happened in this season, I think Charlie and Zoey will pursue a relationship again, but not until at least the halfway point of the season. What the fuck, mark. -100/15
- Josh will have a meltdown over something because he’s due for one. Did he have a meltdown? Unfortunately, season 5 is a big ol’ jumble for me, and I can’t actually remember. WAIT, NO, HE DID HAVE ONE IN THE FINALE RIGHT BEFORE HE FLEW TO DONNA’S BEDSIDE <3<3<3 1,000/16 because the points don’t matter.
- There will be an episode featuring a new staff member being hazed with pranks. I think Kate would outright murder someone if anyone pranked her. 500/17
- I’m not really going to notice that Aaron Sorkin isn’t writing the show anymore. Well. WHOOPS. 0/18
- I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO PREDICT FOR THE FINALE. Someone will get hurt? That includes emotional pain, FYI. Pandering for points, and instead, it all hurts way too much to think about. God, THIS IS THE WORST. -1,000,000/19
- I think there will be a huge domestic terrorist attack in season 5. domestic HOW ABOUT TERROR ATTACK AND DONNA AND FITZWALLACE AND NO. -10,000,000/20
There, that seems about right. So, let’s see if I can fare even marginally better than I did with season five.
- Donna survives the surgery, and we find this out in the premiere.
- THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE SEASON WHERE DONNA AND JOSH HAVE TO DATE. Writers, I am a person with dignity and self-respect, and I am demanding you stop teasing me with this.
- Donna will also pursue a career outside of the White House in this season.
- The peace talks at Camp David will ultimately prove to be fruitless.
- C.J. will start dating someone who is not Ben. Please.
- Zoey will make an appearance this season!
- As will Joey Lucas.
- State of the Union episode! (I’m so predictable. Get it?)
- We will see the start of the presidential nomination for the next election!
- One of the current characters we know will be considered a candidate.
- WILL AND TOBY HAVE TO STOP FIGHTING. That’s a demand and a prediction.
- I just spaced out for ten minutes because that’s just how unprepared I am for season six.
- Um… Josh will break something?
- OH WAIT I HAVE A GOOD ONE. I think Bartlet will have to deal with his MSÂ publicly for the first time in this term.
- Charlie will go on a date!
- And I think the season finale will deal with the nominations for President and we’ll learn who they are!
A note of warning/transparency for those who have seen the show. I have seen the DVD box because I… well, I had to unwrap it, so I know that ng fbzr cbvag, Wvzzl Fzvgf BAR BS ZL SNIBEVGR CRBCYR RIRE naq Nyna Nyqn ner ba gur fubj qbvat… fghss. That’s all I know!
ONWARDS TO SEASON 6.
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