Mark Watches ‘Steins;Gate’: Episode 20 – Finalize Apoptosis

In the twentieth episode of Steins;Gate, Okabe must seek out a mysterious figure in order to undo one last D-mail. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Steins;Gate. 

Trigger Warning: For suicide, abuse/manipulation, brief discussion of homelessness

LOOK HOW PREPARED I WAS FOR THIS AND YET UTTERLY NOT PREPARED AT ALL. 

So, suffice to say that this show is messed up and complicated and immensely disturbing, and now that I’ve got that out of the way, I’m probably going to repeat myself. Because HOLY SHIT, the reveal of FB’s identity brings with it another new detail that’s utterly terrible: SERN has been manipulating the vulnerable for a long, long time, so much so that it might be impossible to trace down that line of manipulation to its origin. How many other FBs are there? How many agents of SERN have no passion for what they’re doing, and instead feel completely trapped by this organization that gave them a solution to one of their problems, only to later use it against them?

I’ll back up a bit, since I do want to elaborate on something I said on video during “Finalize Apoptosis.” One of the concerns I’ve had for time travel/time loop plots is related to momentum. How can a story continue to move forward if the timeline continually moves backward or loops around on itself? That’s a unique problem to Steins;Gate because time travel for the main characters moves only in one direction: backward. Not only that, but all the characters aside from Okabe forget the other timelines, so in theory, Okabe should be the only character to progress due to his ability to remember every timeline shift. However, it’s undeniable at this point that Kurisu is still growing, too, and you can see that right at the start of this episode and throughout it. There’s an ease between Okabe, a willingness on her part to just go with the flow. I feel like that’s also in part because Okabe has continued to drop the antagonism he has displayed towards her. There’s that moment in the lab where he was going to say something important to her, and I bet it was going to be a further confirmation of what a good friend she’s been to him. 

Which is thematically related to what Mr. Braun (HELP) told everyone outside of the lab: Isn’t Okabe lucky? That one moment caused me to reflect on this journey and how far Okabe has come from those initial episodes. It helps that I’ve been reading the comments for these reviews and noting how others have felt uncomfortable with Okabe’s behavior, that it wasn’t just my own perception of his characterization. This is also why it’s so upsetting that he and Kurisu learn that Mayuri is sad that she hasn’t had much time to talk with her childhood friend. Oh, gods, it’s all so complicated! I know why he’s doing this, and Kurisu is aware that this is all meant to save her. Why worry about conversations that are just going to be negated by jumps into the past? IT STILL HURTS, THOUGH! And I also understand why he hasn’t sat Mayuri down and told her the truth about what he’s doing and why he has been behaving strangely. Okabe needs to focus his energy and time on saving… well, literally everyone. Yes, moving the world line into one where Mayuri does not die is obviously the main emotional motivation for Okabe, but he also wants to prevent the world Suzuha described to them all.

Anyway, lots of feelings! Let’s talk about FB, which comprises the entirety of the plot that pushes “Finalize Apoptosis” to its horrifying ending. Am I ever ready for anything on this goddamn show? I feel somewhat validated that my previous review touched on the ways in which Moeka was manipulated and exploited because this episode reveals just how on-the-nose I was… sort of. The search for FB was tense, unbearable, and surprisingly relatable. I add that because I felt an unexpected kinship with Moeka. I can’t speak for anyone else, and I would understand if others didn’t read this in this way, but when she showed up to stake out the locker, hoping to find FB, I could see that moment as the first one of Moeka’s attempt to step out of the abusive cycle she was in. I don’t know that I’ve seen all that many scenes like that in fictional narratives, either. And I know from experience how difficult that first step is! I’d bet that it was a complicated moment for her, as she still desired FB’s validation and attention (which was by design), but meeting FB would also allow her the chance to finally confront them. 

I just… did not expect this to go the way it did. Look, did I once ever suspect that Mister Braun was not who he said he was? DID I EVER ONCE CAST HIM IN SUSPICION? I’m realizing now, as I’m writing this, that his daughter, Nae, was an intentional means of misdirect from the writers. Who would suspect the adorable father with an adorable daughter of being a manipulative SERN agent? Actually, that’s just scratching the surface, y’all, because once the team confronts Mr. Braun, who admits the truth PRETTY MUCH IMMEDIATELY, this episode careens into a darker universe. Mr. Braun’s backstory is not shown to us, and I think that works better in demonstrating just how horrific SERN is. We already know how awful they are because of their treatment of Moeka and the murder of Mayuri, as well as the scenes from the future that Suzuha gave us. Here, the show opts to have Mr. Braun give us a haunting monologue, full of poetic imagery, over the sight of his daughter waking up and preparing breakfast for him. The contrast is gut-wrenching. In Mr. Braun’s backstory, we discover how an act of good-will was twisted so that SERN could manipulate Mr. Braun into becoming an agent. In turn, he enacted the same manipulation on others, recruiting more agents by becoming exactly what people most required during a time of need. This is shown over images of a young girl whose act of good will is pure and undiluted. In those scenes, we know for certain that Mr. Braun has raised an incredible person who is full of joy and happiness.

He also ruined Moeka’s life. And how many others were there? How many other people did Mr. Braun, as FB, drive to ruin? How many did he murder once they had achieved their missions or given SERN what they needed? It’s why he kills himself: he can’t bear to let his daughter find out who he was. 

But there’s one last tragedy that unfolds here. Despite that Okabe loops back time and undoes the events of this episode, the sadness of it all still stings. However, there’s a new wrinkle: there’s actually a first D-mail that everyone (INCLUDING ME) forgot. Y’all, the first one changed the timeline by saving Kurisu’s life. SO IN ORDER TO UN-DO ALL OF THIS, KURISU HAS TO DIE. 

why is this show like this WHY MUST YOU HURT ME SO

The video for “Finalize Apoptosis” can be downloaded here for $0.99.

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