In the thirty-ninth episode of the first season of Steven Universe, Steven learns one of Garnet’s secrets, but discovers a negative side effect of it. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Steven Universe.Â
Trigger Warning: For extensive discussion of anxiety and anxiety disorders.
Here it is, y’all: one of the most accurate depictions of how anxiety works, at least for me. (And I should note that I don’t want this to come off as any sort of universal statement. Anxiety manifests in so many varied ways that it would just be downright untrue to state that this is how anxiety works for everyone.) In my head, I’ve basically got Garnet, analyzing every scenario and moment, and spitting out each and every negative outcome so that I can’t ever forget that failure is just a second away. It is totally irrational and I absolutely know that. That’s the tricky thing with anxiety; while sometimes I get lost in it, most of the time, I’m aware that my brain has turned against me.
Now, I could go into detail about why I think that is. (I know that PTSD/trauma has a lot to do with it.) But I wanted to open this review with a personal admission so that I had a basis to elaborate on what Steven goes through. I know this isn’t a phenomenon specific to Steven Universe, but I’m thrilled that there are so many moments on this show that make me feel like someone else out there understands what I’ve been through. Indeed, all of the fiction that I’ve grown attached to over the years has made me feel like more of a whole person because of it. Why? Because there’s a power in reflection, to see one’s self in something another person has created. For years, I didn’t even know that anxiety had a name or that there were disorders with names as well that could describe me. In “Future Vision,†there’s not that kind of specificity, but there is a visual representation of how anxiety unfolds in Steven.
And this certainly doesn’t start off that way. In the beginning, all Garnet wanted to do was grow closer with Steven. In her future vision, there was a path where Steven would accept and understand how her power worked, and the two would bond over it. Unfortunately, her gamble ends up exacerbating Steven’s already anxious mind, though not initially. He’s mostly just impressed with her analytical skills and her occasional ability to be in the right place at the right time, such as when she saves him tripping down the stairs or steps in the path of burning coffee to block it.
It’s when he asked about bodily harm and death that Garnet seriously miscalculated what she should have told Steven. But I understood her desire to use this bond with Steven. As she pointed out before, time is like a river, and there are many possible forks. Unfortunately, she keep steering the ship that was Steven towards that confrontation on the roof, despite that she knew there was a chance he’d end up there.
Poor, poor Steven. He became so anxious and terrified that he couldn’t even pick up a knife because he might die. He couldn’t eat a sandwich because he might choke on a pickle… or something worse. Steven views his entire future through this lens, and it’s understandable, given what Garnet told him. So I’m glad that she apologized for letting herself be the thing to hurt him the most. Just because she intended to grow close to Steven doesn’t mean that’s what happened. In the end, she imparts an important lesson: he’s got to choose his own future and watch out for himself.
I LOVE GARNET AND STEVEN, FOR THE RECORD. Oh my god, I am obsessed with their relationship.
The video for “Future Vision†can be downloaded here for $0.99.
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