Mark Watches ‘Deep Space Nine’: S05E25 – In the Cards

In the twenty-fifth and penultimate episode of the fifth season of Deep Space Nine, JAKE IS PURE AND GOOD AND I LOVE HIM. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Star Trek. 

I’m going to love “In the Cards” specifically because it gave me a break from the existential horror of Star Trek. It’s not necessarily the most original or exciting episode of Deep Space Nine, but it’s just so purely good-natured that I found myself smiling the entire time. It’s no mystery at this point that I’m obsessed with the relationship between Benjamin and Jake, and thus, an entire episode devoted to making Benjamin happy was probably always going to cheer me up.

And lord, did there need to be a cheering up. The cold open of “In the Cards” set the tone, but not in a way that felt surprising. The Dominion conflict has truly become all-encompassing on this show, and after everything that’s happened in the last year, I don’t blame these people for feeling depressed and dejected. The future is fucking GRIM, y’all. So “In the Cards” works as a sort of absurd version of Amelie, if you will, especially if you consider Jake and Nog as agents of happiness. Granted, the absurdity here comes from the premise: Jake and Nog try to track down a list of ridiculous supplies for a scientist who is certain he’s found a way to achieve immortality by making sure cells aren’t bored. Thus, in exchange, Jake will get a rare Willie Mays rookie card to cheer up his father!

And if that sounds wild, my god, the execution of it absolutely is. The writers exploit everyone’s preconceived notions to pile on one misunderstanding after another, leading to one hell of a confrontation between Weyoun and Jake. Yet along the way, what do Jake and Nog provide everyone? The one thing they want to be happy. They give O’Brien time off so he can disappear in the holosuites for a few hours. They get Julian’s teddy bear back from Leeta. (BEST SUBPLOT EVER, OH MY GOD.) Jake edits an agriculture speech for Kira, and Nog helps edit out distortions from Worf’s Klingon operas. (Where is Jadzia during this episode? It was weird that she was gone.) This barter system gets them a step closer to the baseball card, and in the process, Jake and Nog unknowingly change the environment of DS9.

They also get Weyoun’s attention, and OH MY GOD, do I love his scene where he confronts them. Jake’s story about a time-traveling baseball player is so ludicrous, and I admired his commitment to it. I also love that Weyoun rejected it immediately. BLESS. The comedy here is often a lot more muted than it could have been, but I’m okay with that. I like how Dr. Giger seemed legit until about sixty seconds into his monologue, and then Jake and Nog (and the audience) realized he was a disaster. CELL ENTERTAINMENT, Y’ALL.

There’s only one serious plot in this episode, and I suspect it’s a set-up for the finale. It’s always a delight to see Louise Fletcher on this show, and she’s incredible here as the legitimately frightened Kai Winn. The writers do a fine job conveying the difficult decision she must face, especially since Sisko blocked Bajaron entry into the Federation. So how can you choose between certain death or certain occupation? Neither option seems appealing at all, so Sisko offers up the only advice he has: stall. Keep the options open until Bajor is forced to make a decision.

Yeah, I imagine that’s gonna happen in the next episode. I’M NOT READY.

The video for “In the Cards” can be downloaded here for $0.99.

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