Mark Predicts ‘Supernatural’: Season 7

I’m going to be so terrible at this, y’all.

Before I lament the fact that season 7 is going to be impossible to predict correctly, let’s go over my agonizing predictions for last season.

Mark’s Predictions for Season 6

  1. Sam is brought back to Earth in the first episode, but we won’t know who or what did it. I’m glad I left this because… good god, Mark, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. Again, I totally missed that Sam’s return in “Swan Song” was literal. I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME WEIRD DREAM OR VISION OR SOMETHING.
  2. We will not learn what happened to Sam or what he did while in the Cage with Michael/Adam until the fourth episode of the season. Nope, not close.
  3. Dean and Sam will also spend an entire episode trying to pull Adam out of Hell, too, and they’ll ultimately succeed. Hey, so… what about that? No? Not happening?
  4. Adam will part from Dean and Sam after this and go live his own life. Well, I tried.
  5. Like Dean in season four, Sam will return to the mortal world with a changed perspective and emotional state. Shockingly correct, but not at all for the reason I thought.
  6. He will no longer be able to be addicted to demon blood. Technically??? This is never addressed.
  7. Castiel will spend the entire season trying to organize Heaven and keep control of the angels. See, I just assumed he’d be in control. So wrong!
  8. We will meet at least five new NAMED angel characters. Rachel, Balthazar… nope, not five.
  9. In the first episode, we’ll find out that Dean tried to stay with Lisa and Ben, but he couldn’t leave hunting behind. He’s hunting alone, without Sam. HAHAHAHAHA HELP ME.
  10. We’ll get another flashback episode with Young Sam and Young Dean. Whoa, this didn’t happen!
  11. Another meta episode! I AM SO GLAD I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THIS AND I SHALL REJOICE ABOUT “THE FRENCH MISTAKE” FOREVER.
  12. We will also see another character from a season OTHER than season 5 come back. Rufus and Ellen count! As does Lenore!
  13. Ummm… Bobby meets someone and gets married! FUCK. FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE.
  14. (I have already run out of things to predict, bear with me.) NO I’M STILL UPSET ABOUT THAT LAST ONE
  15. Christmas episode! I FORGOT ABOUT PREDICTION #13 OH MY GOD WHY
  16. Werewolf episode! WHHHHYYYYYYYY
  17. I think we’ll see Death again this season. I want Death in every season. I’m gonna go predict that.
  18. ….I got nothing else. “Swan Song” felt like the end of a chapter in this show’s mythology, so I am going to guess that a new mythology that doesn’t have to do with Azazel or Lucifer will be introduced!!! I don’t know that this counts as a “new” mythology; it’s a direct continuation of everything from the past season. However, the existence of Purgatory counts for this!
  19. HELP I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING. Truer words not spoken.

castiel help me. PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY POINTED OUT TO ME HOW HORRIBLE IT WAS THAT I SAID THIS. !!!!!!!!

OKAY, SO HERE’S MY PROBLEM. I’ve got like maybe three or four things I can ostensibly predict here that actually make sense, and after that, I’m going to be a mess. I don’t know what to do, so heads up: these are literal garbage.

Mark’s Predictions for Season 7

  1. First off, Death returns because he must.
  2. I think season 7’s Big Bad is Castiel. I love the idea that he turns into the antagonist for season seven. THINK OF THE POTENTIAL.
  3. At some point, we’ll see Sam deal with his memories of Hell.
  4. By the end of season 7, Castiel will no longer be God.
  5. He will also repair his relationship with Dean.
  6. And here’s where I’m utterly lost, because every recurring character aside from the main four are dead. Well, wait, Crowley isn’t dead, so I predict we’ll see him in half of the episodes this season.
  7. Christmas episode?
  8. Vampires again?
  9. We’ll get three new creatures the show has not featured again.
  10. I don’t know, a meta episode?
  11. I’m grasping at straws here, y’all. I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.
  12. Um, Castiel kills all of Raphael’s followers at some point.
  13. Crowley dies.
  14. I’m empty, y’all. I can’t do this, and it scares me. I feel like I have so little to go on, and the show is going to use that against me. That’s totally what’s going to happen, right???

Mark Links Stuff

Mark Does Stuff is now on Facebook! Feel free to Like the page, which I’m running myself, for updates and SILLINESS.
– My older sister needs help with her transition, so I’ve agreed to read all of Fifty Shades of Grey on YouTube if we can help her reach her goal!
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– Please check out the MarkDoesStuff.com. All Mark Watches videos for past shows/season are now archived there!
– My Master Schedule is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often. My next three Double Features are now in the schedule! I will be watching In the Flesh, The Sarah Connor Chronicles (complete with Terminator liveblogs!), and then Leverage. Commission away!
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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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