Mark Watches ‘Fullmetal Alchemist’: Brotherhood’: Episode 58

In the fifty-eighth episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, you are all evil, and I won’t forgive you for this. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch FMA:B.

Yeah, I’m done. I am so emotionally drained after “Sacrifices.”

  • You know, I just looked back on my review for “Eternal Leave,” and really, I could say the exact same thing about “Sacrifices”: Nearly every thought I have for this episode is rooted in sadness and despair. I don’t know that I have ever gotten to the end of an episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and felt so hopeless. This is not simply a matter of being unprepared for the end of this show, of which I clearly am. It’s not a matter of being unable to figure out how FMA:B is going to resolve this complicated story in just six episodes. It’s the painful, vicious reality that even if these surviving heroes save the day, Fu and Buccaneer won’t be a part of the festivities. There’s even a chance that Riza will be irrevocably damaged by the experience. Who’s to say that Gold-Toothed Asshole will keep his word? What if Mustang does what the doctor asks, and then Riza is left to die?
  • If you’d like to see me destroy all of existence, then stick around to see my reaction if Riza Hawkeye does not survive this show.
  • It will not be pretty.
  • It’s so cool to me that multiple times, the show has deliberately pulled the focus away from the main cast to give us a glimpse of what the rest of Amestris is going through, and I think it was incredibly necessary that this happen in “Sacrifices.” A giant transmutation circle was just activated throughout Central, and it’s not like you can just ignore it. The ground rumbled as if there was an earthquake; you could see the alchemy shimmering hundreds of feet into the air.
  • OH, WAY TO STAB ME IN THE HEART BY SHOWING ME ALECIA AND MRS. HUGHES. WAY TO REMIND ME OF HOW HEARTBREAKING THIS SHOW HAS BEEN FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
  • Anyway, my question about Bradley’s Ultimate Eye was answered: HE’S STILL JUST AS POWERFUL WITHOUT IT. Damn it, and it’s clear that he’s using the distraction of Fu’s death to go after Ling.
  • So, can we talk about Lan Fan? Y’all, she is clearly willing to sacrifice her arm again to save Ling. SHE DOESN’T EVEN HESITATE. She sees that Ling is in trouble, and she jumps into the action without a second thought. There are approximately 40,000 feelings that this gives me. Yes, I counted each one of them. I just… so much of this show is about sacrifice, and I think that the title of this specific episode is meant for us to reflect on this reality. Lan Fan is willing to die. So were Fu and Buccaneer. (MY HEART.) So is Olivier, and Alex, and Izumi, and the Elric brothers, and Riza, and I’m just going to stop so I can collect myself. This episode is too much.
  • Hey, remember that time that Lan Fan’s tears mixed with the blood from her automail and ran across Ling’s face? Remember that.
  • Or that time that Ling cried out in anguish, begging for a single alchemist who could use the Philosopher’s Stone within his body to save Fu. Yeah.
  • Those were the days.
  • I’m not forgetting about Bradley, either. He’s not dead. So that means he’s going to show up at the worst time ever. Ugh.
  • Hey, so, Buccaneer. He sacrificed himself to land that “fatal” blow on Bradley. I think it’s entirely possible that he wouldn’t have bled out had he taken it easy. But no, that’s not Buccaneer’s style. He’s a Briggs man. And even in the end, he uses his last bit of strength to fulfill his duty to Olivier and his men. That’s his last act. Goodbye, friends, I AM SO GONE.
  • The salute. THAT FUCKING SALUTE. No, I’m so mad at this show for ruining me like this. why are you doing this to me.
  • I don’t even understand the line between Ling and Greed anymore. They are so bizarrely in tune with one another that I don’t know if it’s even possible to discern which actions belong to which identity. And that’s fascinating to me because what Ling does isn’t greedy in this episode. He uses his body (accented by Greed’s powers) to attack the Central soldiers, helping out the Briggs men tasked with protecting the front gate. And it’s such an incredible display of power, y’all, especially when you think about how he told people they could leave if they had families.
  • Hey, remember that time that Olivier learned that Buccaneer was dead?
  • Of course you do because IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET.
  • I’M JUST SO DONE WITH THIS SHOW.
  • But no. This show was not done with me.
  • Because we flash over to where Izumi, Ed, and Alphonse have been deposited, and it makes no fucking sense. How the fuck is Father’s lair on the other side of the Gate??? I DON’T GET THIS. Dr. Gold-Tooth-Dude sacrificed human lives, so he opened the Gate, yes? No? Something? THAT’S WHAT THOSE HANDS WERE. I don’t get it at all!
  • WHO IS THE LAST SACRIFICE???
  • HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PREPARE A SACRIFICE IN THIS CASE? They had to have passed through the gate, and Father already has all five of them in one room. It doesn’t make sense!
  • WHY ISN’T AL WAKING UP???
  • WHY AM I SO DISTRAUGHT?
  • Because
  • because my body knew it was going to happen. or something like that. BECAUSE NO.
  • GOLD-TOOTH IS GOING TO FORCE MUSTANG TO DO HUMAN TRANSMUTATION. HE IS GOING TO FORCE MUSTANG TO BECOME A SACRIFICE. YOU ARE KIDDING ME. Oh my god, he’s going to make him try to bring Hughes back, isn’t it? And he’s going to make Mustang do it while knowing that it is impossible. It’s just to make Hughes suffer.
  • EXCEPT NOPE
  • NOT CLOSE
  • NO
  • I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS NOW
  • YESTERDAY
  • TOMORROW
  • UNTIL THE END OF TIME
  • I AM SO UPSET. YOU DON’T HURT RIZA HAWKEYE. YOU DON’T IT.
  • I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY. AND I WON’T BE UNLESS RIZA SURVIVES THIS.
  • THIS IS THE WORST THING YET. IN AN EPISODE LITTERED WITH AWFUL THINGS, THIS IS THE WORST OF THEM ALL
  • I HATE ALL OF YOU FOR INFLICTING THIS PAIN UPON ME.

The video commission for this episode is now archived in my store for just $0.99! You can purchase the entire show at once for only $49.99 for 64 videos!

Mark Links Stuff

– If you would like to support this website and keep Mark Does Stuff running, I’ve put up a detailed post explaining how you can!
– Please check out the MarkDoesStuff.com. All Mark Watches videos for past shows/season are now archived there!
– I will be traveling for many events! Check the Tour Dates/Appearances page for up-to-date tour events.

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
This entry was posted in Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.