In the fifty-seventh episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, one episode should not hold this much devastation. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch FMA:B.
I can’t handle this.
- There’s too much in this episode.
- All my fears about the scope of Father’s plan and the dangers it posed to all these protagonists have come true in a single episode. These people cannot and will not escape this confrontation unscathed. People will die. I will be ruined.
- I just sat here for ten minutes staring at my WordPress dashboard, and I wrote nothing in those minutes because every single thought I have for “Eternal Leave” is rooted in the saddest thing I’ve ever thought about this show.
- Like, I wanted to talk about how Lan Fan hears about Bradley’s return and abandons her journey so she can go confront him, and how this was really cool because she was so determined to get revenge on her own terms, and it was a sign of how fearless she is as a warrior, despite that many other people might not have ever confronted the man responsible for the loss of their arm, except now all I can think about is how she showed up at the exact moment to watch her grandfather get cut in half by the man who hurt her, too, and I’m so sad I want to throw up.
- How can I address Izumi and Olivier’s confrontation of Edison or their lovely conversation about the Gate and Edward on the steps down to Father’s lair without going straight to the fact that right as Olivier has found an equal, someone she can respect and talk to, Izumi is violently torn out of our world and ripped into the Gate?
- Or how Alphonse didn’t get to reunite with his brother after being sealed in a chamber of stone with Pride?
- I suppose that wherever the sacrifices were taken, Al and Ed could reunite, but even that isn’t going to be a field of puppies.
- This is just a relentlessly upsetting episode, y’all. We have to watch soldiers confront the horrifying reality that they’ve been used for years, that what they’ve been fighting for was a lie, that their superiors have chosen their own desires over the safety and lives of those they command.
- Allow me to use this bullet point to remind y’all that Mrs. Bradley still has no idea what’s really happening. That will be the moment to break me. I know it.
- And yet, there are still so many moments that almost pushed me over the edge into full-blown crying. How about Olivier telling the soldier in communications that they are to leave her behind? How about Izumi telling Olivier that it looks like she needs a break? (I WILL SHIP THESE TWO UNTIL I FLOAT OFF THIS PLANET INTO SPACE.)
- THEN THE GOLD-TOOTHED DOCTOR.
- HE IS NOT ONLY STILL ALIVE
- HE WAS WAITING FOR THEM THE WHOLE TIME.
- AND HE’S DRAWING A TRANSMUTATION CIRCLE
- SOMEONE STOP HIM
- Oh, wait, you can’t BECAUSE IT’S A LEGION OF REJECTED CANDIDATES FOR FÜHRER.
- WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH THEM THIS WHOLE TIME? IT’S BEEN DECADES.
- I ACTUALLY DON’T WANT THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION.
- In addition to this chaos, Bradley is fighting Greed/Ling and Fu at the exact same time, and he is so terrifying in his confidence. He never seems to be slipping behind. He always has the upper hand, and IT ISN’T FAIR. It’s like he’s been re-energized by the very idea of this fight, and no matter that he’s sparring with two excellent fighters. He’s still better than them both.
- NO HE JUST SLASHED FU’S FOREHEAD
- NO OH MY GOD STOP IT PLEASE DON’T
- NO HE CUT THROUGH FU’S ARMOR
- PLEASE MAKE IT STOP, I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS.
- OH, OF COURSE LING APPEARS AT THIS POINT AND EVERYTHING IS SO EMOTIONAL BECAUSE Y’ALL. Lan Fan sacrificed her arm to save Ling. And now, Ling risks his own life within Greed in order to save Fu.
- And I really should have seen it coming. I should have known that Fu would do whatever he saw as honorable. I should have known that he would protect Ling at all costs. But you know what? This show isn’t done tormenting me yet. I knew Fu’s death was certain as soon as he revealed the bombs strapped to his chest, but that did nothing to prepare me. Because Bradley just cut the fuses off, slicing Fu nearly in half in the process.
- It’s so awful. It’s so humiliating. And that’s why I appreciate that Buccaneer takes the opportunity to use Fu’s death to land a fairly brutal blow on Bradley through Fu’s body. Except this isn’t going to matter in the end, is it? Bradley is immune to all physical violence. He’ll just heal himself. EXCEPT THAT LING ATTACKS BRADLEY WHEN HE’S DISTRACTED AND SAWS OFF HALF OF HIS FACE. What the hell, what happens when Bradley loses his Ultimate Eye???
- But it’s not enough. I haven’t suffered enough. The show has to give me scenes where Riza saves Mustang’s life because she’s perfect, where Alex, Olivier, and Izumi discuss the horrors of human transmutation, and where Olivier admits to ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING A TOUCHING MOMENT WHEN SHE SAW EDWARD’S DEDICATION TO PROTECTING WINRY.
- WHY? WHY MUST YOU GIVE ME ALL THESE FEELINGS BEFORE THIS ENDING?
- BECAUSE THE DOCTOR FINISHES HIS CIRCLE
- AND REVEALS THAT THE FIVE LABORATORIES WERE THE ANSWER THE WHOLE TIME
- THEY’RE LINKED WITH ONE ANOTHER
- IN THOSE FUCKING CURVED PASSAGEWAYS THAT THE CLOSING CREDITS HAVE BEEN TEASING ME WITH
- NO I HATE THIS SHOW, IT CONSTANTLY MAKES ME TAKE THE BAIT, AND I ALWAYS FALL FOR IT, AND THIS IS SO HORRIFYING.
- THE GATE STEALS THEM ALL
- IT TAKES ALL THE SACRIFICES WHEREVER THEY HAPPEN TO BE
- I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE
- I AM SO UPSET
- I AM SO UPSET
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