Mark Watches ‘Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood’: Episode 14

In the fourteenth episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, I am done with all of you. Just put that on my gravestone: MARK IS DONE WITH THE FMA:B FANDOM. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch FMA:B.

Well, at least I can verify that those of you who said that this is the one thing I was least prepared for were right. Never in the history of Mark Watches has any one show been more shocking or upsetting. AND THERE ARE STILL 50 EPISODES LEFT. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.

  • I’m still reeling from this episode. Just… everything changed. EVERYTHING IS SO WRONG.
  • This was an exciting and thrilling story, first of all, and things picked up right where they left off. Izumi and Edward are facing off with Greed! Oh no, Al is still being taken somewhere! Col. Mustang arrives at Central City and –
  • Wait, Führer Bradley is in the south? But isn’t that where –
  • Oh, this can’t be good. This cannot be a good thing.
  • OH MY GOD, HE’S AT THE DEVIL’S NEST.
  • Well, wait, I guess this could be a good thing since he could probably stop the chimeras and Greed. Yay? Maybe?
  • But Bradley doesn’t even go to help Edward and Izumi. No, he seeks out Greed first, which seemed super suspicious to me.
  • I HAD NO IDEA.
  • Oh god, the fight between Roa and Major Armstrong is so great! Seriously, does Armstrong always rip his shirt off when he’s about to battle? This is way too much like Jacob Black. I imagine Armstrong has to keep spare clothes nearby. What if someone in the State Military has the sole job of carrying extra clothes for Armstrong? NEW HEADCANON.
  • So Roa was in the Ishval Civil War??? What’s his history?
  • OH MY GOD, ROA CAN TURN INTO A FULL CHIMERA. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
  • DID HE ALSO DEFLECT BULLETS BACK AT THE SOLDIERS???
  • I UNDERSTAND SO FEW THINGS.
  • THEN BRADLEY’S FIGHT WITH GREED IS ONE OF GORIEST THINGS IN THE HISTORY OF THE SHOW (SO FAR) AND IT’S TOO INTENSE AND I DON’T LIKE IT AND WHY IS BRADLEY EVEN HERE.
  • WHY IS THE ANIMATION FOCUSING ON HIS EYEPATCH SO MUCH
  • WHAT IS HE HIDING
  • I DON’T LIKE THIS
  • WHAT THE FUCK IS AN ULTIMATE EYE
  • no
  • no
  • NO
  • NO
  • YOU CAN’T BE FUCKING SERIOUS
  • HOW THE FUCK DOES HE HAVE AN OUROBOROS TATTOO ON HIS EYE
  • you are fucking kidding me FÜHRER BRADLEY IS A HOMUNCULUS.
  • I AM DONE WITH YOU
  • I AM DONE WITH THIS SHOW
  • I AM DONE BEING DONE
  • HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE
  • Is this what Hughes discovered??? Is this why he didn’t want to contact Mustang over a secure line???
  • I can’t deal with this, y’all! The sheer implications of this reveal alone are too much for me. How many world events has Bradley orchestrated and for what purpose???
  • IS THIS THE REAL LIFE????
  • This reveal re-contextualizes everything. Suddenly, as the chimera people attack Bradley, you feel sympathy for them. You’re horrified that this man just chops them down with no remorse. He’s doing it to hide something. That’s why he leaves no witnesses. Martel’s death in particularly is fucking cruel, y’all, and I wasn’t even close to finishing this episode.
  • MARTEL’S BLOOD REACTS WITH THE BLOOD RUNE AND AL REMEMBERS HIS TIME IN THE GATE
  • !!!!!!!!!! HOW ARE SO MANY THINGS HAPPENING IN ONE SINGLE EPISODE!!!!!!
  • oh my god THE INTERROGATION SCENE IS JUST PAINFUL TO WATCH. Edward has no idea who he is talking to. THIS SHOW IS ABOUT 3 BILLION TIMES MORE FUCKED UP THAN IT WAS ONE EPISODE AGO.
  • NO, YOU LEAVE IZUMI ALONE. YOU LEAVE HER ALONE.
  • OH GOD, EDWARD JUST MENTIONED MAES HUGHES.
  • HELP, I’VE BEEN DESTROYED ABOUT A THOUSAND TIMES BY A 24-MINUTE EPISODE OF A TELEVISION SHOW.
  • hey guess what
  • guess what
  • “Those Who Lurk Underground” isn’t talking about the chimera people or the sewer scenes.
  • IT’S A REFERENCE TO THE UNDERGROUND LAIR OF THE HOMUNCULUS FAMILY. NO. NO OH MY GOD THEY WERE IN THE CENTRAL CITY THE WHOLE TIME
  • SLOTH
  • WHAT IS SLOTH DOING
  • OH MY FUCKING GOD IT’S THE FATHER
  • WHY DOES HE RESEMBLE ED AND AL’S FATHER????
  • Like, I don’t think it is their father, just purely based on the timeline alone. The Father has to at least be over 200 years old since Greed is that old.
  • I have a lot of questions.
  • Let’s just go back to all-caps.
  • WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY NEED THE ELRIC BROTHERS FOR? WHY SACRIFICE THEM?
  • BRADLEY IS WRATH.
  • WHY WAS HE CREATED???
  • OH MY GOD, THE HOMUNCULUS THAT IS HUMAN-BASED AND CAN AGE. THIS IS SO MESSED UP.
  • WHAT THE HELL DID THESE THINGS ORIGINALLY DO WITH FATHER??
  • FATHER BASICALLY DRANK HIS SON. I JUST WANT TO STATE THAT. I KNOW IT’S FROM GREED’S STONE, BUT STILL. HE DRANK HIS SON FOR DISOBEYING HIM.
  • As if all of this – this utter nightmare – was not enough, I’m going to go ahead and say the final scene is the most devastating thing yet.
  • BRADLEY HAS A FAMILY AND A SON AND THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS AND FUCK THIS SHOW. JUST FUCK IT. 
  • fuck.

The video commission for this episode is now archived in my store for just $0.99! You can purchase the entire show at once for only $49.99 for 64 videos!

Mark Links Stuff

– I have redesigned MarkDoesStuff.com! Check out this post explaining the new changes, which includes the start of a permanent archive of all Mark Watches videos!
The Mark Does Stuff Summer Tour is happening soon! Check out the posted dates, suggest new ones, help bring me to YOUR TOWN.
– I have been nominated for a Hugo in the Fan Writer category! If you’d like more information or to direct friends/family to vote for me, I have a very informational post about what I do that you can pass along and link folks to!
– Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is now published and available for purchase! It’s available in ebook AND physical book format, and you can also get a discount for buying the ENTIRE SET of digital books: $25 for 7 BOOKS!!!
– Video commissions are open, and you can commission a Mark Reads/Watches video for just $25!

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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