Mark Watches ‘Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood’: Episode 5

In the fifth episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, I will not forget what y’all have made me watch. I will not forget it. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch FMA:B.

can u not

CAN U NOT

  • “Rain of Sorrows”? Great. Great. This should be fun.
  • Oh, it’s a flashback! Ed’s mother is so cute. So I should expect utter sadness soon, right?
  • Literally, right after I made this observation out loud, the warped version of the Elric’s mother showed up, and then Nina, and then I was already yelling at all of you.
  • I am not sorry for this. Please expect me to angrily insult each one of you from this point on if you choose to watch the commission videos that go along with this.
  • This episode advances the show’s mythology in perhaps the most outright disturbing way yet. I added the word “yet” at the end of this sentence because I’m fully anticipating that this is all just child’s play when compared to future episodes. I learn that the man who appeared at the end of “An Alchemist’s Anguish” to kill Nina and her father is named Scar, and that he’s continuing on his mission to murder state alchemists. For a reason?
  • hahahahaah “for a reason” HAHAHAAHA H E L P M E 
  • WHO
  • THE
  • FUCK
  • ARE
  • THOSE
  • PEOPLE
  • IN
  • REOLE/LEORE WHATEVER THAT PLACE IS CALLED
  • Gluttony? Envy? I’m sorry, do the seven deadly sins exist in this world? Is this a glorious Sandman reference? WHY ARE THEY STILL THERE? What’s their purpose? To sow chaos and hatred in the world? Why? Why does the unnamed woman speak of a sacrifice? What’s their issue with Scar? Will I ever understand this?
  • I liked that Ed got real introspective as he thought about his role in things after Nina died. It was neat that he understood that death was always going to be a part of life, especially if he looked at things from an alchemical perspective. He can’t blame himself for Nina dying. That wasn’t his fault.
  • AND THEN SCAR SHOWS UP, AND EVERYTHING IS ENDLESSLY SUSPENSEFUL. What’s so frightening about it is the fact that the writers take great risks with the characters and the story instead of forcing some sort of trope-filled battle. Very quickly, it’s apparent that Scar is much more stronger and more powerful than Ed and Al are combined. Even worse, Al’s robot suit is horribly injured, then Ed’s arm is RIPPED OFF (!!!!! THIS IS THE FIFTH EPISODE HOW IS THIS HAPPENING !!!!!), and then Ed refuses to leave his brother behind, accepting his own death in exchange for Al’s life being spared.
  • In the fifth episode.
  • F I F T H
  • If you pay attention, you can hear my heart shatter as Al begs Ed to run away. It’s true.
  • Here’s the thing: It is somewhat convenient that Colonel Mustang and the rest of the military show up to save Ed from certain death, but even that is subverted in the end. First of all, Lt. Hawkeye totally steals all of Mustang’s thunder, which is just BEAUTIFUL. Then Armstrong enters the fight (SERIOUSLY, IT TOTALLY FELT LIKE A VIDEO GAME), everything is entertaining and hilarious (WHY DOES ARMSTRONG SPARKLE), and then we find out that Scar uses alchemy without the reconstruction stage. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
  • I also adore that Armstrong’s actions are all a sleight of hand so that Scar is distracted from Hawkeye’s shot. That’s some awesome teamwork.
  • I wasn’t initially affected by the reveal that Scar was Ishvalan because it didn’t mean much to me. So, he was the opposing side in the Civil War? Why does this matter?
  • Before this is answered, we get MY FAVORITE SCENE IN “RAIN OF SORROWS”: Al berating Ed for not valuing his life enough. It’s brilliant, y’all, because it deconstructs the idea of the heroic martyr in these sort of stories. How can Ed change the world for the better if he’s dead? What would his death do to help Al? Al might still be alive, but what would he do? Ed was the only one talented enough to bond Al’s soul to the metal.
  • UGH WHAT A GREAT STORY CHOICE.
  • In the end, though, Mustang is the one who finally reveals what the Ishval Civil War was: state-sanctioned genocide. There is no way around it. That’s what it was. State alchemists EXTERMINATED THE ISHVALAN PEOPLE! THEY BECAME HUMAN WEAPONS OF THE STATE! OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT IS THIS SHOW? Scar’s actions have a new context to them, one that lifts him above mere vengeance for the sake of it.
  • How is this show so relentlessly disturbing?
  • PLEASE LET THE AUTOMAIL MECHANIC BE WINRY. I WOULD BE SO EXCITED IF THAT WERE TRUE. That looked like her house, didn’t it? I only caught a glimpse of it, but YES PLEASE.
  • YES, PLEASE.

The video commission for this episode is now archived in my store for just $0.99! You can purchase the entire show at once for only $49.99 for 64 videos!

Mark Links Stuff

– I have redesigned MarkDoesStuff.com! Check out this post explaining the new changes, which includes the start of a permanent archive of all Mark Watches videos!
The Mark Does Stuff Summer Tour is happening soon! Check out the posted dates, suggest new ones, help bring me to YOUR TOWN.
– I have been nominated for a Hugo in the Fan Writer category! If you’d like more information or to direct friends/family to vote for me, I have a very informational post about what I do that you can pass along and link folks to!
– Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is now published and available for purchase! It’s available in ebook AND physical book format, and you can also get a discount for buying the ENTIRE SET of digital books: $25 for 7 BOOKS!!!
– Video commissions are open, and you can commission a Mark Reads/Watches video for just $25!

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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