Mark Watches ‘Bones’: The Santa in the Slush


Thank you to Nora, as always, for supporting me and getting me into Bones! The video commission for “The Santa in the Slush” can be streamed or downloaded with Quicktime Pro here. Otherwise, you can find it on Dropbox.

  • Seriously, this episode is surreal, hilarious, and then packs one hell of an emotional punch at the end. This show has a stunning record with Christmas-themed stories, I swear!
  • Again, I’m kind of impressed at the ability of the writers to straddle the line between humor and horror. I mean, at heart, this is a disturbing story, but IT’S STILL SO FUNNY.
  • For real, the descent of the team into the life of a man who believed himself to be Santa Claus is absolutely incredible. I love how every detail confuses them and excites them more and more. It’s infectious! Plus, HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT HIS APARTMENT. OH MY GOD, THAT IS AMAZING. AMAZING.
  • CAROLINE, YOU ARE MY HERO FOREVER AND EVER. It just needs to be said. It’s been nice to see her in so many episodes recently, too! Granted, y’all are just picking and choosing the best ones, and guess what? She’s been in pretty much all of them.
  • I can’t think of anything else I’ve seen that has a family like the Brennans. Honestly! It’s such a unique thing to experience. At least for me, that is. The complications that these characters face stems from their desire to finally be loyal to one another, though Brennan is conflicted by her own wants and needs. This is finally less of a legal issue for her, which I’m sure she’ll have to deal with whenever her father finally goes to court. She cares about her father and is willing to help organize the best Christmas possible for him, but she struggles with whether or not she should be there, too. So it’s nice that she ultimately chooses to be with her family because it’s a sign that she values them more than she ever has.
  • Booth. And. Brennan. Kissing.
  • BOOTH AND BRENNAN KISSING. I’ve always had this thought in the back of my mind that the show is following The X-Files pattern of creating endless romantic tension between the two leads that’s beautiful and perfect, and even if I don’t really ship Booth/Brennan, I don’t think I’d be disheartened at ALL if they eventually dated. Canonically dated, I mean.
  • Because that last scene with the Christmas tree and the car battery is too much for me to deal with ever again, oh my god.
  • Parker is adorable. Really adorable.
  • And all the supporting characters are super fascinating here! There’s a lot more discussion about the believability of Christmas from Zack, Hodgins, and Sweets that I found fascinating because it wasn’t grating. This is coming from someone who only believed Santa was real until he was six and saw his mom hide presents in the closet. I wasn’t gutted at all that she’d lied to me. I just really hoped she’d gotten me a LEGO castle set.
  • “Was that enough steamboats?” Caroline looked kind of mortified by what happened, didn’t she? Bless these people.
  • I don’t think I cared much about the crime that was the focus of this episode, and I think if I examined it in detail, it would fall apart. But the whole climax sequence in the room with a bunch of Santas was pretty awesome.

Thanks, Nora!

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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