Mark Watches ‘Puella Magi Madoka Magica’: I Won’t Rely On Anyone Anymore

In the tenth episode of Puella Magi Madoka Magica, there is no way in hell I could have ever guessed that this show was about this. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Madoka Magica.

I – I am going to attempt to understand this.

  • My comment in an earlier review about the cyclical nature of this show must have made all of you cackle for days, right? Because the real cycle is about Homura’s dedication to saving the life of her best friend.
  • This show just tricked me into thinking Madoka was the main protagonist when the real center of the story is Homura. The brilliance of this will never escape me. That doesn’t mean Madoka isn’t an important character or that her development doesn’t matter. If anything, the use of multiple timelines allowed me to see how layered she is as a person.
  • So, as far as I could count, there were four timelines that existed prior to Homura showing up in the one that comprises the show so far. Every time she went back in time, she risked changed other details in her life and the lives in others.
  • It is absolutely haunting to see images from the fifth and current timeline changed ever-so-slightly in past timelines. This life that Homura keeps living repeats itself in fascinating, disturbing ways.
  • It’s even more heartbreaking to me that Homura originally started out as a someone who greatly resembled the Madoka we see in the current timeline. She did not feel special. She did not feel like she stuck out in any way. She felt useless, despite that she wanted to help others. Help me from all these feelings.
  • It’s interesting, then, that the way in which Homura is introduced to the world of magical girls still mirrors what it’s like for the other girls. They are entranced by what other girls have shown them, and there’s Kyubey, egging them on, dangling the carrot that is a free wish in front of them. It’s now completely understandable why she hates that little creature so much.
  • I should have paid attention to the fact that a person is given a special power based on the wish they make. Since Homura chose to re-live her life in order to protect Madoka, she was given the power of time manipulation. The clue was RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF MY FACE. Plus, Kyubey agrees to the wish because it satisfies his entropy problem. Oh, I hate you so much, dude.
  • I also noticed that when Homura reversed time, she was never dropped off at the same point. In the second timeline, she left the hospital with a Soul Gem and immediately went to Mami and Madoka, who are both magical girls already. The chaotic nature of this form of time travel is part of the reason Homura hardens her emotions over time as well. No matter how many times she tries to change the ending, she can’t seem to do it. Who could blame her for how she turns out?
  • In the third timeline, Sayaka is also a magical girl, despite that Homura wakes up in the same time/place as timeline two. In her third approach, Homura reasons that if she’s upfront about her fears and the terror that Kyubey brings, her friends can fight against the Incubator.
  • This time, the events mirror “I’m Such a Fool” and “I’d Never Allow That To Happen,” as Sayaka becomes a witch, the other magical girls face her, and Homura defeats her. So, I thought, this is how they break free of the cycle.
  • NOPE NOPE NOPE. In a moment of despair, Mami murders Kyoko by destroying her Soul Gem. Like, for real, I’m pretty sure this scene just straight fucked me up. And it’s not even the worst thing in this episode.
  • See, I am all about ladies doing things because they love each other, and at the end of this timeline, when Madoka secretly gives her last Grief Seed to Homura, I’m pretty sure I became so broken I couldn’t even react. Honestly, I haven’t watched the video I made for this episode, but I’m fairly positive I just sat there with an open mouth for twenty-five minutes. The more I thought about Madoka allowing herself to die so that Homura could save her in another timeline, the more I realize that I’ve never really seen a relationship like this before, and certainly not one between two women. Madoka and Homura love each other, and both of them have been willing to die for one another over and over again. In Homura’s case, SHE REMEMBERS EVERY SINGLE TIME MADOKA HAS DIED.
  • fucking h e l p
  • The opening sequence of “I First Met Her in a Dream, Or Something…” WAS THE PREVIOUS TIMELINE. The “Or Something…” part is a goddamn clue, and I had no idea. THIS SHOW IS GOING TO BE THE END OF ME.
  • Now I know what happens if Madoka becomes a magical girl. By choosing to use her powers to defeat the Walpurgisnacht, she then becomes the most powerful witch, AND THE WHOLE EARTH IS DESTROYED.
  • So Homura starts again, and now all of her weird behavior over the course of this show makes sense, and I can’t. I can’t.
  • Now I know why she was in Madoka’s dream. I know why she said she killed Kyubey two times before. I know why she was so adamant that Madoka not make a contract.
  • and i know that this episode has utterly broken me.

I’ve never seen anything like this before. MY FEELINGS. I HAVE SO MANY OF THEM. So is Homura going to tell Madoka what she knows? How can either of them stop this inevitable cycle from starting again? I DON’T EVEN KNOW.

Y’all, this show is just too much.

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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