Mark Predicts ‘Angel’: Season 5

Oh gosh, do you know how sad I am making this post, knowing I’ll never be able to properly predict Buffy again? I AM TOO SAD. So, let’s first go over my predictions for last season before I make a fool of myself.

Season 4

  • Angel will be rescued from the bottom of the ocean by the end of the first episode. SHIT YEAH 1/1
  • Wesley will not chose Angel Investigations or Wolfram & Hart this season, and will act entirely on his own. Do I get half a point since this was the case for half the season? Whatever, I’m giving out points. 1.5/2
  • We’ll see Lorne once. what. 1.5/3
  • I seriously don’t know if Cordelia is in season four, so I say we won’t see her until halfway through the season. Hey, here’s a fun thought: we don’t actually see “her” from episode 3 until the end of episode 17. I lose a million points, give or take. -1,000,000/4
  • Because no one can be happy on this show, at some point, Gunn and Fred will break up, and they won’t get back together. Bah, why was I right? -1,000,000/5. I don’t earn points for heartbreak.
  • Angel will forgive Connor for what he did to him. Well, this is nice! -999,999/6
  • Angel will forgive Wesley by the season’s end. YAY. -999,998/7
  • Justine will die. Nope! She just disappeared. -999,999/8
  • Connor will join Angel Investigations. I mean… did this ever technically happen? He was sort of there, sort of not? I don’t even know. NO POINTS because of confusion. -999,999/9
  • Wesley will have sex with Lilah. AW YEAH I GET LOTS OF POINTS. 0/10
  • Linwood will die. FUCK YEAH. 1/11
  • Gavin will die. SAD, BUT FUCK YEAH. 2/12
  • Lilah will reign supreme because she is my amoral queen. UGH, SHE WAS SO FABULOUS SHE CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD. 1,000/13
  • Stuff? THAT HAPPENED! 1,001/14
  • Isn’t there still a prophecy regarding the end of the world in effect? So, something will happen with that? HA. HAHAHAHA. HAHAHA DF;KLS DKLDF ;ak;a a;alskdfj 0/15
  • I don’t know what I’m doing. That much was evident. There was no way I could have guessed this season.

Oh gosh, so, the end of season four actually makes this kind of fun. There is a lot to resolve! Here are my LAST PREDICTIONS EVER for Angel:

  • I think the first thing Angel will do is seek out a way to wake Cordelia up.
  • We will learn in the first episode what division each main character works in or what their job is.
  • That means we will find out what jaguar spirit thing said to Gunn.
  • Fred will be the only character to express reservation about this arrangement.
  • Connor will appear in only one episode.
  • There will be no crossovers from Buffy because sadness 🙁
  • Wesley will discover something about a past even in the files of Wolfram & Hart that will re-contextualize an episode for the audience.
  • Lorne will have one episode devoted to a story about him.
  • Wesley and Fred will get together.
  • Gunn will be the most satisfied working at Wolfram & Hart, and this will create a rift between him and the team.
  • This season’s Big Bad will be Wolfram & Hart.
  • Yeah, so I’m guessing that this whole Wolfram & Hart thing is a trick. It’s meant to get the Angel Investigations team close so they can be neutralized.
  • Okay, here’s my huge prediction: the Shanshu Prophecy is real and Angel will do something by the end of this season to earn his humanity.
  • Here’s the kicker: HE WILL REFUSE IT. I don’t know why, but that’s something I could see Whedon doing.

And now, off to the last season of Angel and THE START OF DOLLHOUSE!!!

Mark Links Stuff

– You can follow me on Twitter and Facebook for any updates and live commentary on upcoming reviews I’m writing.
– You should read this very important post about supporting Mark Does Stuff!
- I’ve started reading The Shoebox Project for Mark Reads, the first fanfic “series” I’ve ever covered! Join me!

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
This entry was posted in Angel and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Mark Predicts ‘Angel’: Season 5

  1. Josh says:

    Oh…oh wow….heh….heh heh….

Comments are closed.