In the eighteenth episode of the fourth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I guess? If you’re intrigued, then it’s time for Mark to watch Buffy.
Well, okay. Can people on Buffy PLEASE have sex and have it be normal? What is with the writers of this show constantly wanting to take sexual acts and make them be EXTREMELY FUCKED UP? I mean, Buffy and Riley just had to deal with the whole Faith-was-inside-Buffy’s-body thing ONLY AN EPISODE AGO. And now their sexual voracity is the catalyst for a vengeful poltergeist created by a sex-shaming Christian abuser? What is this episode trying to say about the world? Actually, I don’t even want to figure that out. I have a lot of questions:
- How on earth did no one in the history of ever trigger the poltergeist group? Are you telling me that the same dorm that houses The Initiative and FRAT BOYS was never the source of intense sexual energy? I know I have very strange things I choose to disbelieve, given that I suspend that for magic boys on brooms or time traveling aliens, but this one detail totally throws me for a loop. But it just seems so sloppy!
- Why are Anya and Xander even fighting again? Like, there did not seem to be a single hint that their relationship was heading this direction. On top of that, I felt like the episode dropped us mid-argument between these two, so I thought I missed something.
- Why are there plants and vines? There’s no precedent for this at all. Perhaps one of the kids was a botanist or something?
- Does Xander just never keep a job?
- Why haven’t Spike and Anya hung out more? I won’t question it if it happens again.
- Okay, wait, why does the wall give a person sexual pleasure? Like, why only that one spot? I don’t think I actually want to know the logistics of the Orgasm Giver Wallpaper, so perhaps it’s best if this remains a rhetorical question.
- WHO PLAYS SPIN THE BOTTLE IN COLLEGE???? NO FOR REAL EVERYONE STOPPED THAT AT AGE 14 BECAUSE EVERYONE I KNEW JUST JUMPED STRAIGHT TO SEX. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE IN THEIR EARLY 20S ACTUALLY PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE.
- What happened to Julie????
- This isn’t a question, but I love that Spike still can’t find a justification for sticking around the Scoobies. Yet he does anyway.
- Can the poltergeists not infiltrate the Initiative? Do they have some sort of ghost barrier?
- WHY HASN’T GILES SANG BEFORE? OH MY GOD HIS VOICE IS SO DREAMY.
- You know, there’s an element to Genevieve Holt that’s absurd, but some of the more radical Christian fundamentalists I’ve known are just as forthright as her, openly admitting terrible things but believing them to be moral choices. That was my mother for a while.
- So the poltergeists are stopped merely by opening a door? What a terrible weakness. What kind of awful poltergeist relies solely on the power of a door?
- So, Genevieve Holt answers to pretty much nothing, right? I mean, she gets away with it all.
Okay, not my favorite episode. Anya and Spike are nice. Willow and Tara are clearly getting closer. And Giles sang and this is beautiful. Otherwise, I’d probably prefer not to watch this one again.
Mark Links Stuff
– My eBook adaptations of reviews I’ve posted are on sale at MarkDoesStuff.com. Harry Potter, Twilight, and Firefly books are priced from $2.99 to $3.99 a piece, and are available in ePub (iBook, iPod, iPad, Nook), Kindle, and PDF files.
– I now have a Lulu storefront, where you can purchase physical copies of all of my previously released books, including a full Mark Reads Twilight book that includes all four sets of Twilight reviews.
– I am going on tour in the following cities this month (click the name for the Facebook RSVP page): San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Tucson, El Paso, Albuquerque, Denver, Salt Lake City, Boise, Spokane, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver B.C. I still need venues/spaces in San Diego, Salt Lake City, Spokane, and Portland. Even if it’s your house, I don’t care. I’ll show up! Please let me know if you have any ideas. I can also be reached at markreadsandwatches [at] gmail [dot] com.
– I am presenting for three days at Ascendio 2012! Come hang out and have the best weekend ever in July!
– Mark Watches The Two Towers will happen most likely on Sunday at 1pm PDT, which is the same as this past weekend. Y’all better break the comment record again.
– I finish Mark Reads The Princess Bride on April 13th, and then Mark Reads Sandman begins on Monday, April 16th. I will split up reviews by issue, and I will be reading the extra books/volumes. IT SHALL BE GRAND.
– I’m on Twitter (@MarkDoesStuff) and I have a Facebook page y’all can Like and flail about on. Join me!
– This is my fifth consecutive year riding in the AIDS/LifeCycle! I’m aiming to raise $10,000 this year. For every $1,000 I raise, I will make a video live reading of a community-chosen fanfic. I am not bluffing. I will read as much of it as possible, and it will be beautiful. Help me out if you can!