In the third season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, stuff happens and I’m going to try and guess what that “stuff” is. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to predict Buffy.
First things first: Let’s go over my predictions for season two!
- Buffy will slay vampires. AWESOME. I AM SO GOOD AT THIS.
- Xander will find someone other than Buffy to crush on, and we’ll see him actually get into a relationship. CORDELIA!!!!!
- Willow will ask Xander out once. Nope, but she did angrily throw this in his face when she discovered he was seeing Cordelia.
- We won’t see Buffy’s father at all. LOL.
- Cordelia will join the main group full-time. FUCK YES.
- At least one more person will learn about Buffy’s true identity. how about a million. All I care about is Joyce Summers, TBQH.
- We will find out where the Anointed One disappeared to. Didn’t he just….go away? I mean, we didn’t see him die or anything, so…perhaps he’ll go the way of the unaddressed plot thread? YES. OMG I AM SO GOOD THIS TIME AROUND.
- Angel and Buffy will start dating because CHRIST THEY REALLY NEED TO ALREADY. YES. and then sad
- The main mythology of season two will have to do with….um…vampires. Yeah, I’ve got nothing. LOL.
- Twenty-six people will die on-screen, and I am going to try to keep track of that. (Vampires don’t count; a dead body does.) Well, I didn’t keep track at all, but I’m going to hazard a guess and say that it was WAY more than twenty-six. Did anyone else keep track? I SHOULD STICK TO THIS FOR SEASON THREE.
OKAY, SO. That’s not too bad! That may be the best prediction post I’ve ever done! To be fair, though, all of my predictions were super vague, so I feel like I cheated. This time around, for season three, I’ll try to be more specific. Shall we?
PREDICTIONS FOR SEASON THREE OF BUFFY
- The first episode of season three will be highly Buffy-centric. I’m guessing this because Buffy left Sunnydale and they sort of have to show where she went and what she did. However, now I realize they could just do what they did for season two’s opener and just show us Buffy returning from summer vacation. DAMN IT. Whatever, I’m sticking to it.
- Oz will die in season three. I am basing this prediction solely on the fact that I like him, I think he and Willow are cute, and Joss Whedon cannot tolerate joy over the course of one season. He’s been around too long and I imagine Whedon was just itching to pull the trigger at this point.
- Cordelia and Xander will break up. My general theme for these predictions will be: “Joy cannot last.” I think this is a healthy choice to have.
- Buffy and Joyce will have an extended conversation about her being the Slayer at least once in the season. Extended means it has to last at least five minutes.
- Joyce will slay a vampire. Look, I don’t care if that’s an irrational prediction. I simply do not care. I want Joyce to slay vampires, and I want it now.
- Giles will meet someone he develops a crush on by the end of season three.
- Angel will be retrieved from Hell.
- I’m making this separate just so I can at least get one prediction right, but I think Angel will come back via some sort of magic that Willow discovers and executes.
- On that note, Willow will continue to pursue doing magic in season three.
- We will find out why Principal Snyder is “in” with the Mayor of Sunnydale, and the mayor will play a larger role.
- Principal Snyder will die by a creature that’s not a vampire.
- We will see one snake in season three.
- There’ll be an episode about bees. Doesn’t every sci-fi show have a bee episode?
- Spike will come back, but not Drusilla.
- 112 people will die onscreen. This includes any staked vampires. REMIND ME TO KEEP TRACK OF THIS AS THE SHOW MOVES ALONG.
All right, those are pretty fun, no? Again, I swear I have to say this every time, but DO NOT TELL ME WHETHER I AM RIGHT OR WRONG ABOUT ANY OF THESE AND DON’T HINT OR WINK OR IMPLY ANYTHING. Just laugh. Or cry. I don’t care, but seriously, every time someone nearly spoils me. HAVE SOME TACT.
I wanted to close out this prediction post with an idea I’ve been mulling over for a while, but unsure how to execute. I’ve always loved a good mixtape, and lately, I’ve been seeing this wonderful collaborative and thematic mixes floating around Tumblr, based on specific episodes of shows or on characters. And I DEARLY LOVE THIS FOREVER. So! From here on out, I’d like to end each prediction post with a ten-song mix that I’ve assembled that contains thematic elements from the previous season of what I’ve just watched.
I grew up on hardcore and metal, and while some of that is represented here, I think this is a decent mix of loud and quiet, fast and somber, and might also give you a glimpse into my taste for music. I’ve also assembled playlists using two specific methods: Spotify (for those who have this wonderful service, that link will open the playlist in your Spotify player on your computer or on a mobile device) and an embedded Grooveshark playlist (for those who don’t have Spotify, but don’t want to pay to listen to this mix.) I’ve also included key lyrics I thought resonated well with this particular season. Enjoy!
Buffy Season Two Mixtape!
1) “Vampires” – Strung Out
Title-wise, this will probably seem like an obvious choice, but lyrically, it’s rather stunning how much this fits with the narrative of Angel, Angelus, and Buffy all at once. Strung Out is a melodic hardcore band I’ve sort of grown up listening to, combining metal, technical guitar and bass lines, and some of the catchiest riffs and melodies on the planet. I’ve been on a binge of them lately and it’s this song that finally made me stop and just accept that I need to do playlists for Mark Watches.
Some say in the darkest places, love can grow.
This solitary romance, we’ll never know.
Well, it’s this coffin break I’m staging to the road that leads me back to you
Will be the miracle I gave up everything to only be with you
Can’t seem to shake the loneliest curse of all
Eternity with just a memory.
2) “Mess” – Ben Folds Five
Okay, I swear all these songs aren’t super depressing, but this is one of the more bleak songs that (SURPRISE!) I adore with all my heart. Like most people, I came to love Ben Folds while I was in college, which was right around the time that Rockin’ The Suburbs came out. I was going to pick a song from that record until I remembered how appropriate “Mess” is to Buffy’s feelings throughout season two, especially the finale.
But then things go complicated; my innocence has all but faded
Oh, this mess I have made.
And I don’t believe in God
So I can’t be saved
All alone as I’ve learned to be
In this mess that I’ve made.
3) “3 ½” – A.F.I.
Look, I’m not gonna make a mixtape about a “spooky” show and not include A.F.I, okay? It’s just not gonna happen. The A Fire Inside E.P. is one of my favorite E.P.s in all of existence and this song, which opens it, is also one of my favorite hardcore jams. So good, and a clear sign of the direction A.F.I. was about to take with Black Sails in the Sunset. Super applicable to Buffy, Angel, and a little bit of Oz.
I pray that you won’t hesitate
As you watch me degenerate
To reach in my wounds and extract all my fear
I’m so sick of myself
(Mother, say you’ll pray for me)
I’m so sick of myself
(I’m premature in my decay)
4) “Ghosts” – Laura Marling
This is one of those singers who shocks you because at age eighteen, she was more talented than you will ever be in your whole life. A haunting voice that fits so well with her brand of pop folk, she’s a standard in my life ever since I discovered her a few years ago. This opening track off of Alas I Cannot Swim can fit nearly every character on this show, as all of them are mourning over ghosts that broke their heart before they met someone else. In my heart, though, it best represents Giles and Jenny Calendar.
Open up his little heart
Unlocked the lock that kept it dark
And read a written warning
Saying I’m still mourning
Over ghosts that broke my heart before I met you.
Lover, please do not fall to your knees;
it’s not like I believe in everlasting love.
5) “Roadside” – Rise Against
I started listening to Rise Against within months of Revolutions Per Minute being released, so it’s been a fascinating to watch them explode. Like, once I saw them headline a festival in Los Angeles and everyone in the crowd of thousands knew every single word, and it mystifies me that this melodic hardcore band from Chicago is so gigantic. I actually think that the record this song is from, The Sufferer & The Witness, is actually the band’s best, and this particular song is only made better because of Emily Schambra’s (Holy Roman Empire) vocals. I imagine that this is the song in Buffy’s head as she rides the bus out of Sunnydale.
And I don’t think you see the places inside me that I find you
I don’t know how we separate the lies here from the truth
I don’t know how we woke up one day, somehow thought we knew
Exactly what we’re supposed to do
So leave me at the roadside
And hang me up and out to dry
6) “Alright For Now” – Hot Water Music
I’ll find any reason to stick a Hot Water Music song on a mixtape, I swear. I love this band and their unique blend of punk rock, mid-tempo rock, and some disgustingly-good vocal melodies. This is song is for Giles.
I was back and forth
From armed to desperate,
Lost to fully aware.
How was your weekend?
You get your time alone?
It used to sound so peaceful,
Now it’s panic-ridden.
How was your weekend?
I’m alright for now,
But I haven’t been.
Got lots of shit behind me.
I’m alright for now.
7) “I Know It’s Over” – The Smiths
I think that for nearly any mood (but especially the dark ones), there is a Smiths song that fits. Or perhaps I’ll just force it to fit. This is Buffy’s theme for “Becoming, Part Two.”
It’s so easy to laugh, it’s so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind.
Over, over, over, over, over
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.
8 ) “Scarlet” – Strung Out
Okay, I’m cheating. Two songs by the same band and from the same record. BUT IT’S SUCH A GOOD RECORD. And the general theme of celebrating a personal apocalypse fits so well for the post-Angelus moment of the finale that I couldn’t resist sticking this super catchy song on this mix.
We drone on; we persist without an end.
We destroy all life around us, we are the beauty from within.
And I’ve been tortured by my place in all of this
But you assure me of my purpose, what we are we’ve always been
So let’s embrace the downfall on this eve of destruction, baby
Hollowed from within, we get nowhere to hide
Damned with no secrets and maybe
The eerie glare of heaven will shine all night.
9) “Circles” – Dag Nasty
This is one of those bands that’s formative for who I am. After discovering Minor Threat in high school and being turned on to straight edge, I started researching all of the bands connected to the DC hardcore scene, so it was a natural progression that I listened to Dag Nasty. They’re actually more connected to the birth of the emo movement than hardcore, at least to me, and this song shows their more melodic, introspective side. For every Willow moment of truth and reason, I dedicate this song to her.
I never bothered to lift a finger
to make my point
Now I’m spelling it out
and nobody’s listening
It’s hard to take it to heart
It hurts to be apart
10) “Cold War” – Janelle Monáe
Oh, the queen of my heart. I think Janelle Monáe is currently the best pop artist in the world and I will defend that to the death. Buffy is a show about teenagers (and some adults) navigating a complicated moral atmosphere, and this song is a general commentary about doing what’s right, especially as it applies to the Scoobies in season two.
I’m trying to find my peace
I was made to believe there’s something wrong with me
And it hurts my heart
Lord have mercy, ain’t it plain to see?
This is a cold war
You better know what you’re fighting for
Hope you enjoy this! I wanted to start gradually doing some new stuff now that I have the extra time. See y’all tomorrow!