Mark Watches ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’: S01E05 – Never Kill A Boy on the First Date

In the fifth episode of the first season of Buffy, an ancient prophecy begins to distract Buffy from the possibility of finally going on a date. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Buffy.

There are a lot of really ingenious things at work here in “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date,” and it’s helping me see how there are seven seasons of this show. Well, I don’t have any idea what might happen beyond season one, but there’s so much to address about high school life and that whole experience that can be used within the show. For Buffy, we see how her role as the Slayer normally pans out when she tries to do anything that most high school students take for granted. I really can’t imagine how terrible of an experience she had at her last high school. Did she have any friends at all?

My guess is no, because Buffy is entirely treading new ground with Owen, a quiet bookworm who expresses interest in her. It’s interesting to me that Buffy is an experienced Slayer of vampires and other creatures, yet she can’t even navigate the world of Emily Dickinson. I actually like that the writers choose to portray her as socially clumsy and increasingly awkward because it gives her faults. If she was an amazing slayer and could bed any man in school, I think I’d be bored out of my mind. What sort of conflict would that even provide?

The other main source of friction comes from Giles’s interactions with Buffy. I know I said I was glad that the show incorporated Xander and Willow into the “secret” so early, but it’s also nice that it’s only them so far. This is the first time that Buffy and Giles have seriously clashed on their priorities. Giles is insistent that he’s discovered some sort of prophecy that will help free The Master from under the city, and that Buffy must come with him to help stop this. Of course, she’s entirely opposed to the idea on more than one level. But she downright refuses to accept the responsibility that comes with her role, which frustrates her more than usual. For once, she just wants a night off to be herself, but when you compare that to the fate of the whole world, it does seem inconsequential. So she relents to spend the evening in a cemetery with Giles in order to stop the Anointed One.

And that’s really what this show is doing well: showing us the conflict between being someone who kills creatures trying to bring about the end of the world and being a sixteen-year-old girl in a California high school. How does Buffy balance that? How is Giles supposed to manage her? In this case, Giles has to concede that no vampires are rising from below the earth in the cemetery, and allows Buffy to leave to go meet Owen at the Bronze. But I knew this wasn’t going to be over. I started questioning the very idea of Buffy dating. How on earth could she do that and also keep her Slayer side a secret? See, I’m already imagining her having to sneak out in the middle of the night, constantly canceling dates, making up bizarre reasons to disappear…damn, this is just unfair. Like, what a shitty gig to land entirely without choosing it. How exactly did Buffy find out that she was the Slayer?

Okay, that’s for another time. Let’s talk about how CRUSHING it is that Buffy shows up to the Bronze and that horrific band is playing. LOL JUST KIDDING. no they really are terrible, but the actual tragedy is Cordelia Chase. Damn, she is just rude. Here’s what I just want to shriek into her face: BUFFY HAS SAVED YOUR LIFE TWICE NOW. Couldn’t you be nice to her for five goddamn minutes? I understand that Cordelia believes she’s at the top of the social chain at Sunnydale, but even some basic courtesy will keep you there. Has she even thanked Buffy once for doing this? Okay, I’m sure something is going to change this dynamic because I don’t think the show can sustain this absurd back-and-forth for seven years. DID I JUST DOOM MYSELF BY SAYING THAT. Regardless, it really is hard to like Cordelia aside from her sass because she’s such a mean person and I don’t like big bad meanies.

Oh, by the way, Giles was totally right. From the ashes of the five….VAMPIRES DESTROYING BUSES. Man, that is fucked up. They chose to crash a bus with a mother and kid on it just to make their prophecy come true. Well, I suppose that means that Giles was right in general, but he got the specifics wrong. They weren’t going to raise a dead body; they were going to create them. Which, again, is pretty fucked up.

So what does that mean for Buffy? Well, when Owen asks her out on a date for the next night, it means that it’s time for everything to get hopelessly complicated. First of all, Xander is just not tolerating this. He’s not one to be subtle, so he barely hides his jealous at Owen getting a date with Buffy. I’m curious where his storyline is going this season, and I imagine that Buffy’s going to have to put an end to it soon. I mean, there’s still that dude Angel who she is totally crushing on, right?

But that’s sort of a small storyline compared to the fact that Buffy’s date with Owen, which is going rather well, is constantly interrupted. First, Cordelia (WITH THE WORST HAIRSTYLE I HAVE EVER SEEN GOOD GOD WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT. Oh, right, you ran in through the 90s) tries to insult Buffy to get Owen to hang with her, and I scream internally at how irritating and rude Cordelia is. BUFFY. SAVED. YOUR. LIFE. TWICE. Couldn’t you cut her some slack, please?

Then Angel shows up. Oh, great, her other crush is here. Oh, and he’s insisting that she leave because stuff is happening? Everyone really wants to make decisions for Buffy, don’t they? But the frustrating thing is that GILES IS TOTALLY CAPTURED BY A BUNCH OF VAMPIRES AND HE WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT. Oh god, why is this situation so difficult? What am I saying? Xander and Willow haven’t even shown up yet. That is when it truly becomes hopeless. How can Buffy ignore all three of these people who clearly know that some shit is going down? Also, Angel is buff and such, so why isn’t he helping out? I seriously don’t get who he is and why he only acts as a really shitty and vague informant. WHO ARE YOU ANGEL.

Unfortunately, she has to ditch Owen (BECAUSE WHY ON EARTH WOULD SHE TAKE HIM WITH HER), but I thought her goodbye to him was really cute. Using that line about her being two people was smart, but the kiss sealed the deal. Actually, the entire scene from when Xander and Willow show up is one of my favorite parts of this show so far. It’s awkward, witty, funny, and really uncomfortable all at the same time; no one seems to say the perfect thing aside from Buffy’s last words to Owen.

At this point, though, I couldn’t ignore the name of this episode. I’d had this small thought in the back of my mind that perhaps Owen would die early in the episode, but he was still alive at this point. He’s going to show up at the funeral home, isn’t he? OH GOD, HE IS. And that’s when this episode really gets good. How the hell do they keep Owen distracted enough so that Buffy can leave his side? How on earth do they prevent him seeing a vampire? The best part about “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date” is that the writers make Owen last maybe five minutes before that creepy religious dude from the bus arises as a vampire right before Owen’s eyes. It’s simply pure chaos at this point, and…well, is it weird that I had this big smile on my face? All I kept thinking was OH THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOD OWEN IS TOTALLY DEAD.

And then it happened and I didn’t feel very good about Owen dying? I mean, it was rad to see Buffy almost recharged by his “death,” but she actually liked him. And he was a nice guy! So she just casually cremates the vampire alive (or….well, he’s actually dead, isn’t he?) in retaliation. NO BIG DEAL. But then Owen stands up! OH. Oh, so he didn’t die? Well….that’s awkward, isn’t it? That’s actually more awkward than if he had died, I think! How does Buffy try to explain him nearly dying?

So you can imagine my shock when the next day, Owen wants to see Buffy again. However, like Buffy, I was disappointed in his reason for doing so: he feels more alive through her. In a fantastic moment for her character, Buffy rejects him. She certainly doesn’t want to take Owen into dangerous situations and risk getting him killed, but there’s another subtext to this. Owen framed his interest in her as a way for him to improve his life at her expense. That’s kind of a shitty thing to do, don’t you think? I was impressed that the show immediately said, “NO. NOPE. NOT HAPPENING.” So much in fiction, we see how the men in the story get to “grow” and “feel alive” through the women, and this entire storyline is amputated right from the start.

I was also shocked to hear Giles comfort Buffy by telling her how he came to discover that he was destined to be a Watcher. In a way, it gives a tinge of sadness to Giles. At ten years of age, he learned his whole life had been planned out for him. And now he’s waited since then for Buffy, hasn’t he? The thing is, Giles just openly accepted his fate, so it’s frustrating for him to see Buffy fight against it. At the same time, I think he recognizes how frustrating this is for her. She just wants her own life, and fighting against her “destiny” is exhausting her.

Oh, right, by the way: the Anointed One was actually the little kid on the bus. WHAT THE HOLY FUCK FUCK. I mean: “And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell.”


About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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359 Responses to Mark Watches ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’: S01E05 – Never Kill A Boy on the First Date

  1. Noybusiness says:

    Aha, finally caught it after posting. 1 PM? Yeah, if it keeps being this way, Buffy at 1 and Angel at 4 seems feasible.

  2. Kraznit says:

    Oh god, this is the episode where shit starts to get real.

    I love the Master as a villain. Definitely worthy as the show’s first Big Bad.
    Xander and Willow really prove their worth as sidekicks here. Oh, if only you know what was to come for them.
    Andrew Borba is an intensely creepy one-shot villain. Great performance, great writing.
    And the Anointed One… Gah! Get that thing away from me.
    And of course, the first chapter in the epic saga of Buffy’s attempt to have a love. Poor girl, she just can’t catch a break.

    Mark, since this is my first comment here, I’d urge you to review Angel parallel with Buffy when it spins off. They cross over a fair bit, and you’ll only be getting half the story otherwise. It’ll still be coherent, but incomplete.

    • evocativecomma says:

      Mark has said that he will not be doing Angel except for crossover episodes. He simply doesn't have time.

      • pica_scribit says:

        He could change his mind. Right? Right? *looks hopeful*

        • xpanasonicyouthx says:

          But y'all, it's not an issue of preference. I would prefer to do it. But unless I start making money off this to pay rent, I simply do not have time in the day to add a second show on top of this and my Lord of the Rings posts.

          i swear I am not being a bigot 🙁

          • pica_scribit says:

            If I win the lottery, I volunteer to be your patron. How do you feel about being a kept blogger? I swear, I will not require outfits. ;p

          • Noybusiness says:

            Someone said you would be watching all of Angel but only reviewing certain ones. I thought therefore you'd have time to review two eps a day if you had time to watch two eps a day. It sounds like they were mistaken and you don't have time to watch two eps a day and would only watch crossover episodes and review them on separate days from the Buffy eps. That being the case, I urge you to either watch Buffy and Angel on separate days in chronological order or to watch the run of Buffy, take a break with some unrelated shows, and then watch the run of Angel. You won't regret doing either of those instead of only certain Angels.

            In Buffy Season 4/Angel Season 1 and Buffy Season 5/Angel Season 2, chronological order is a simple matter, it's always Buffy and then Angel. (Buffy 4.01, Angel 1.01 … Buffy 5.22, Angel 2.22) For the next two seasons, Buffy switched networks, and there were some delays making strict airing order not all in-sync chronologically, so it's like this:

            * Angel 3.01, Angel 3.02, Buffy 6.01, Buffy 6.02, Angel 3.03, Buffy 6.03, Angel 3.04, Buffy 6.04, Angel 3.05, Buffy 6.05, Angel 3.06, Buffy 6.06, Angel 3.07, Buffy 6.07, Angel 3.08, Buffy 6.08, Angel 3.09, Buffy 6.09, Angel 3.10, Buffy 6.10, Buffy 6.11, Angel 3.11, Angel 3.12, Buffy 6.12, Angel 3.13, Buffy 6.13, Angel 3.14, Buffy 6.14, Angel 3.15, Buffy 6.15, Angel 3.16, Buffy 6.16, Angel 3.17, Buffy 6.17, Angel 3.18, Angel 3.19, Buffy 6.18, Angel 3.20, Buffy 6.19, Angel 3.21, Buffy 6.20, Angel 3.22

            * Buffy 7.01, Buffy 7.02, Angel 4.01, Buffy 7.03, Angel 4.02, Buffy 7.04, Angel 4.03, Buffy 7.05, Angel 4.04, Angel 4.05, Buffy 7.06, Angel 4.06, Buffy 7.07, Angel 4.07, Buffy 7.08, Angel 4.08, Buffy 7.09, Buffy 7.10, Buffy 7.11, Angel 4.09, Buffy 7.12, Angel 4.10, Buffy 7.13, Angel 4.11, Buffy 7.14, Angel 4.12, Buffy 7.15, Angel 4.13, Buffy 7.16, Angel 4.14, Buffy 7.17, Angel 4.15, Angel 4.16, Angel 4.17, Angel 4.18, Buffy 7.18, Angel 4.19, Angel 4.20, Buffy 7.19, Angel 4.21, Buffy 7.20, Angel 4.22, Buffy 7.21, Buffy 7.22

            Then Angel Season Five.

            Or if you didn't like going back and forth all the time, you could use the schedule I suggested a few days ago for combining Buffy and Angel.

            • kristinc says:

              Really, Mark does not need to watch Angel. I don't know why it keeps coming up. I watched all of Buffy without watching Angel because I found Angel hideously unwatchable and the conceit of needing to see "crossover" episodes annoying, and my Buffy experience was none the worse for it. The poor man is busy with a capital whoa, there is no pressing reason for him to add a mediocre show to his plate.

              • Kesty says:

                I agree that it doesn't need to see Angel. I've watched Buffy without Angel because I didn't like the show too and you really don't need any episode of Angel to appreciate Buffy.
                But after some time of no whedon on tv, I've decided to give Angel another try and I have fallen in love with Angel, wich I find in many ways better than Buffy.
                If you Mark doesn't want to watch Angel is perfectly fine, but I don't think he should see the crossovers Episodes.
                First they won't make much sense to him, Angel is more serialized than Buffy, and secondly he will ruin for himself Angel if he ever decided to watch it.

              • Noybusiness says:

                It keeps coming up because most people who like one show also like the other.

              • ladysugarquill says:

                I think that's a YMMV thing. I watched the whole of Angel when it originally ran, and I loved every minute. But aside from that, Angel *is* a part of the Buffy canon, so not watching it is a bit like skipping one Harry Potter book and watching only the movie. Yes, you will understand the story anyway, but you're missing a bit of it.

          • tigerpetals says:

            That makes sense! Just to be clear, because now I've seen different things. You're not going to watch Angel at all except for the crossovers, or you're going to watch it on your own and only review the crossover episodes?

            It's all right that you can't. These projects are pretty time-consuming as it is, when one's life can't be all free time to share with the Internet. If it helps, I made it through Buffy years before getting a chance to watch Angel, so I didn't even know there were crossover episodes. I just learned everything online beforehand.

          • Shay_Guy says:

            Honestly, I have no idea how you even manage the rate you do. I don't think I could manage two posts per WEEK like yours, let alone per day. AND you've mentioned going through multiple revisions.

            And even without that, keeping up a rate of five book chapter and five TV episodes per week? It took me two years to get through Cowboy Bebop. I started Madoka Magica early in September and still haven't seen episode two. I finished season 1 of The Wire in June AND STILL HAVEN'T STARTED SEASON 2. All this despite being a part-time student with no job.

            My time management sucks.

          • Genny_ says:

            Personally, I endlessly admire your ability to keep up with this AND a job. Like, what, how do you do that?! This unemployed person with too much time on their hands is boggling. So yeah, I really don't think anyone can blame you.

          • tanbarkie says:

            That's unfortunate (but very understandable!), as "Angel" is a brilliant show in its own right.

          • Nick says:

            But Mark, who says you have to do more than one TV review per day? You can just alternate between the shows daily: one day of Buffy, one day of Angel, one day of Buffy, one day of Angel, etc. Sure, it'll add an extra 110 weekdays onto your schedule but TRUST ME IT'LL BE TOTALLY WORTH IT.

            • Noybusiness says:

              Plus vote

            • tornflames says:

              My husband and I started watching Buffy through for the first time couple months ago, without intending to watch Angel as well…but when we got to the point where the spin off happened, I went ahead and googled to see which episodes of Angel we'd need to watch for crossovers and what have you.

              I'm pretty glad we did, because argh, annoyingly intertwined storylines. What we've ended up doing is following the list at this site (hopefully that link works, I haven't commented here before. I'm sticking it in the "website" box too just in case) because DUDE. That order is ALL OVER THE PLACE. 2 buffy, 1 angel, 4 buffy, 2 angel, and so on with no discernable pattern.

              We've found it easier to just treat it like it's all the same show with a different name. When we're going to sit down with an episode, we check and see which is next on the list instead of following the numbers or watching one show straight through. I think it's the way to go for minimum spoilage and wtf-ery, but they start tossing in "last time on Angel" at the beginning of some Buffy episodes, if I remember correctly, so all should work out though maybe spoilery if Mark ever DOES decide to watch Angel later?

              Also, off topic: I think everyone here is FRIKKIN AWESOME. I've mentally dubbed this site as "the happiest place on the internet" because it's like a massive collection of people just bein' ridiculously excited and well-meaning and generally positive. At least, when I read through the Avatar stuff that was my impression. Haven't really read any of the others.

          • Raenef says:

            How can I throw money at you?

        • mreeb says:

          To be completely honest, as awesome as this would be, I watched all of Buffy before I watched Angel and I understood everything. There was the odd time where I was curious about what had happened on Angel that I didn't get the full story of, but it didn't really bother me much. Sbby Sbe Ybir naq Qneyn ner gur bayl gjb pbzcnavba rcvfbqrf gung V guvax jbhyq unir orra jnl pbbyre gb jngpu evtug nsgre gur bgure, ohg lbh'q arrq gb unir frra nyy bs Natry guhf sne gb ernyyl nccerpvngr vg. Snvgu'f fgbel yvar vf gur bayl bgure ovt bar, ohg nf ybat nf lbh xabj fbzrguvat jrag qbja jvgu ure ba Natry, gura V guvax vg'f svar.

          I mean, I knew absolutely nothing about Angel before I watched it. Other than it had to do with Angel. Juvpu jnf npghnyyl ernyyl njrfbzr, orpnhfr V qvqa'g rira xabj vg ena cnenyyry gb Ohssl. Fb jura Natryhf fubjrq hc va frnfba gjb bs Ohssl, V unq ab thnenagrr ur jbhyq rire ghea tbbq ntnva, naq jura ur qvrq ur pbhyq fgnl qrnq. Nf sne nf V xarj, Natry gur frevrf pbhyq unir orra nobhg nal bs gur rvtugl lrnef be fb Natry fcrag univat n fbhy orsber gur riragf bs Ohssl.

          TL;DR I wouldn't worry about it at all, Mark.

          • Noybusiness says:

            I agree. It's not vital to watch Angel and Buffy in parallel, so instead of ruining the enjoyment of Angel by only watching certain ones, you can watch Buffy and Angel as separate runs and enjoy them both fully, without worrying that doing this would spoil or confuse you. Alternatively, you can watch them in parallel but one at a time, as I outlined above. It will take a good while, but when you're into it, you may feel it's good enough to be worth it.

          • OCTBernie says:

            I agree. I watched all of BtVS before seeing a single episode of Angel and I was fine. I feel like watching random episodes of Angel might not work so well. I mean, I'd love it if you watched Angel but I think it's better to watch it as a whole and…that's A LOT of episodes to be watching.

            V guvax vg'f xvaq bs n funzr gung Znex xabjf OgIF naq Natry eha cnenyyry sbe gur ernfbaf Zerro fgngrq. V unq ab vqrn Natry jbhyq or onpx.

          • Karen says:

            Yeah, I started out trying to watch Buffy and Angel concurrently, but I later flounced from Angel and kept on watching just Buffy and wasn't confused at all.

      • Kraznit says:

        That's a shame, but it's good to know your limits. I'm glad Mark's doing this show at all. So excited for the future!

      • Iamwinterborn says:


      • Noybusiness says:

        More like he's concerned about the time. It's still not set in stone.

        • evocativecomma says:

          Yes, it is set in stone. See Mark's response above. He also has a *very* long list of things he's agreed to watch, and Angel is not on it.

    • NB2000 says:

      Andrew Borba is an intensely creepy one-shot villain. Great performance, great writing.

      Ugh he really is, that first scene on the bus? I can totally buy the other passengers being creeped out because DAMN.

    • Mark is aware of Angel, but he is not aware of when it spins off, so I edited that part out. Since this is your first comment here, please familiarize yourself with the spoiler policy, as it is stricter than…just about any other spoiler policy in existence.

      Welcome to the site!

      • Noybusiness says:

        Actually he is aware of which seasons are at the same time, he's already seen a schedule of mine that makes that obvious (last week or so) and thanked me for posting it.

  3. natalia h (@mellafe) says:

    So, I was never a Buffy fan. I remember watching episodes on TV when they aired but it's not like I knew what day it was on. I must've seen 90% of the series, though, especially the last ones.

    MY POINT is I don't have to go back and watch because your recaps are more than enough to remind me what I like and dislike about this show, and I thank you for it. I might watch for real later, when my favorite season begins. Soooo thanks.

  4. rabbitape says:


  5. elusivebreath says:

    Mark, let me preface this by stating that I AM SO EXCITE for this!! I've been waiting for you to watch Buffy since you started Watching All The Things, so I am thrilled that you're up to my favorite show (well, now it's tied with BSG and Doctor Who, but STILL).

    Yesterday's episode was definitely 'meh' for me, and I couldn't quite remember what this one was all about, so I sort of assumed it would be more of the same, but I was pleasantly surprised to remember all the things I liked about it as it went on.

    You covered it most of it, but can I just say, that I LOVE Cordelia in this episode?? Hilarious!

    EDIT: I have to add that your review is making me smile SO MUCH.

  6. atalantapendrag says:

    I hadn't watched this ep in years, and rewatching it today, it seemed like this was where the season arc started to really feel important.

    And god DAMN, it was awesome to see Buffy refuse to be Owen's Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

    I have SO MANY FEELINGS about a lot of the things you've touched on here that basically boil down to YOU ARE SO NOT PREPARED AND I AM EAGERLY AWAITING YOUR REACTIONS TO ALL THE THINGS. It's like I'm feeding on your innocence. Lbh gnfgr yvxr fgenjoreevrf.

    • lula34 says:

      OH MY STARS, THAT'S IT. That. Is. It.
      "It's like I am feeding on your innocence."
      You've just summed up how I'm feeling about Mark losing his Buffy virginity. Thank you so much for this, because I could not put into words how I've felt this week. Oh Lord, there needs to be a Hallmark card for this, because clearly you care enough to send the very best FOR ALL OF US.

      Also I need a t-shirt, emblazoned with that person, saying THAT line that you Rot13'ed. Because THAT IS JUST GOLD RIGHT THERE. Today you have won the internets and I wholeheartedly salute you with all I have within me. No, really. Thank you.

  7. Reaper says:

    I loved that this episode used Buffy's date with Owen as an opportunity for character development instead of just playing the situation for laughs or to create tension.

  8. pica_scribit says:

    Yay! My patience and staying awake is rewarded. Not terribly keen on this episode, but it definitely has its moments. Owen is a rather adorable, nice guy (not a Nice Guy[tm]). And I love the little moment of Cordelia eyeing up Angel. And Giles backstory! OK, it's only a tiny little snippet, but it's a start. The misdirect between creepy-religious-dude (Why do they always hang out on public transport? Is it the captive audience?) and the little boy is great.

    Ak! It's Friday! Two whole days without another review? How will I surviiiiiiiiiiive?!

    • RoseFyre says:

      The Cordelia thing and Giles backstory are definitely of the awesome.

      And so much trufax on the creepy religious dude. There's definitely times I want to strangle anyone who yells "PRAISE JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS" on the subway.

    • misterbernie says:

      Ak! It's Friday! Two whole days without another review? How will I surviiiiiiiiiiive?!
      mte 🙁

  9. ambyrglow says:

    Gur guvat vf, Tvyrf whfg bcrayl npprcgrq uvf sngr, fb vg’f sehfgengvat sbe uvz gb frr Ohssl svtug ntnvafg vg.

    "Bcrayl npprcgrq," uz? Uhu, erjngpuvat V thrff Tvyrf qbrf xvaq bs fcva vg gung jnl. Vg'f vagrerfgvat, xabjvat jung jr'yy yrnea yngre, gung ur qbrfa'g npghnyyl yvr–whfg yrgf Ohssl vasre. Jryy, Ohssl naq Znex obgu, V thrff!

    • clodia_risa says:

      V XARJ gung guvf cuenfr jbhyq or dhbgrq. V nz cnegvphyneyl rkpvgrq sbe gung erirny – ab bar jnf cercnerq sbe cer-Jngpure Tvyrf.

    • cait0716 says:

      V pna'g jnvg sbe Gur Qnex Ntr. Tvyrf eroryyrq! Naq unq zntvp betvrf jvgu bgure zra! Naq uvf cnfg pbzrf onpx gb ovgr uvz! Ubbenl punenpgre qrirybczrag.

    • Oh Mark is so not prepared

    • RoseFyre says:

      Lrnu, Tvyrf qrsvavgryl yvrf – be ng yrnfg zvfyrnqf – n srj gvzrf va gur svefg srj rcvfbqrf. Ur fgngrf gung gur fcryy ur cresbezf va Jvgpu vf uvf svefg pnfgvat, juvpu…jr yrnea nobhg Rltuba yngre. Naq va guvf rcvfbqr, gurer'f gur npprcgnapr bs uvf sngr (juvpu, ntnva, Rltuba) naq gur fgngrzrag gung ur qvqa'g trg n znahny. Juvpu, gurer VF n Fynlre unaqobbx, ur whfg qrpvqrq vg jnf hfryrff jura qrnyvat jvgu Ohssl.

      Fb, va pbapyhfvba, rvgure Tvyrf vf ylvat…be gur jevgref unqa'g pbzr hc jvgu nyy bs uvf onpxfgbel lrg naq ergebnpgviryl punatrq vg.

      • Genny_ says:

        V'q fnl gur jevgref cebonoyl qvqa'g xabj gurzfryirf, V guvax. Tvyrf' punenpgre frrzf cerggl vapbafvfgrag va ergebfcrpg guebhtubhg f1, naq vg srryf yvxr gurl qba'g ernyyl jbex bhg jung gurl jnag gb QB jvgu uvz hagvy yngre va gur tnzr. Ohg vg qbrf zrna gung lbh trg n cerggl vagrerfgvat ybbx ng uvz bapr lbh'ir frra fbzr yngre rcvfbqrf, naq vg'f xvaq bs pbby gung gurl znantrq gb znxr vg yrff bs n cybgubyr, zber bs n 'ur jnf ylvat' guvat.

        • RoseFyre says:

          Lrnu, V zrna, uvqvat Rltuba? Znxrf gbgny frafr. Ur cebonoyl guvaxf gryyvat Ohssl fbzrguvat yvxr gung jbhyq or, jryy…cbffvoyl rapbhentvat sbe ure gb qb gur jebat guvat. Juvpu, gurer'f n tbbq punapr vg jbhyq. Naq gur unaqobbx guvat vf gnxra pner bs ol vgf furre hfrshyarff jura qrnyvat jvgu Ohssl.

          Fb, lrnu, gurl unq gb punatr fghss, ohg gurl znqr vg znxr frafr nf gb JUL uvf nafjref punatrq.

      • ambyrglow says:

        Jryy, jung V svaq vagrerfgvat vf gung juvyr ur qbrf yvr nobhg bgure guvatf, ur qbrfa'g npghnyyl yvr nobhg guvf. Fnlvat ur npprcgrq uvf sngr vf Znex'f vagrecergngvba (naq, boivbhfyl, Ohssl'f); jung ur npghnyyl fnlf vf "Ab, V unq irel qrsvavgr cynaf nobhg zl shgher. V jnf tbvat gb or n svtugre cvybg. Be cbffvoyl n tebpre. Jryy, hu… Zl sngure tnir zr n irel gverfbzr fcrrpu nobhg, hu, erfcbafvovyvgl naq fnpevsvpr." Naq gura ur punatrf gur fhowrpg irel dhvpxyl.

        Vg'f npghnyyl n terng pubvpr bs nafjre gb qrsyrpg fhfcvpvba. Vs ur'q fnvq ur jnf that-ub nobhg vg, Ohssl zvtug unir envfrq na rlroebj. Ohg ol gnyxvat nobhg fznyy eroryyvbaf, ur znxrf vg n obaqvat zbzrag naq vzcyvrf gung gubfr jrer gur bayl jnlf ur eroryyrq.

        Fb juvyr V guvax gur jevgref jrer znxvat fbzr guvatf hc nf gurl jrag nybat, V'z cerggl fher gurl xarj gurer jnf fbzrguvat zber gb Tvyrf'f onpxfgbel ng guvf cbvag, rira vs gurl qvqa'g xabj rknpgyl jung vg jnf.

        • RoseFyre says:

          Bu, gehr. Naq lbh'er cebonoyl evtug – V erzrzore fbzrguvat nobhg jul gurl pubfr NFU gb cynl Tvyrf, orpnhfr ur unq n uvag bs…jryy, abg whfg gur fghpx va gur obbxf crefba. Ur unq fbzrguvat zber. Fb znlor gurl qvqa'g xabj jung zber, ohg gurl xarj ur jbhyqa'g or fghpx va gur yvoenel nyy gur gvzr sberire.

    • Andie says:

      Znex jngpuvat Onaq Pnaql vf tbvat gb znxr zl yvsr.

  10. cait0716 says:

    Rewatching this episode was a lot more fun than I expected it to be. I remembered the basic storyline, but it really feels like they finally hit a groove here. The dialogue is snappy and witty. The story comes together. We get advancement of the big arc with the Master. It's all just wonderful

    I know I said I was glad that the show incorporated Xander and Willow into the “secret” so early, but it’s also nice that it’s only them so far.

    I told you it wouldn't be as fun if the whole school figured out Buffy's secret in the first episode. It's more interesting to play with the conflict it creates.

    Interestingly, this is the first episode of Buffy that doesn't pass the Bechdel Test. It's all about Buffy balancing dating with work and every conversation she has with Willow is about Owen. I think more than anything it shows that that standard isn't the end-all be-all of feminist media, because this episode does manage to show that Buffy has bigger concerns than boys and is learning how to balance that.

    Love Cordelia's assessment of Angel: "Hello salty goodness!"

    • robin says:

      I find the Bechdel Test a little problematic as a standard because realistically teenage girls do talk a lot about their crushes to each other. That's a real-life interaction pattern. The fact that this is something she and Willow focus on doesn't mean their interaction is meaningless — it's important to *them* and it's part of their bonding process as new friends growing closer and trusting each other with their personal "secret" feelings.

      • hassibah says:

        Yeah I thought the test as a guideline was invented mainly because of female characters whose role was only important in terms of how they are related to or the object of affection of a much more important male character, hence the bulk of their scenes would only revolve around discussing their boyfriend/son/crush/boss/whatever who was the REAL star of the movie/show and much more central to the plot. So I think context is important, especially on a show like this one.

        • notemily says:

          I agree. The Bechdel Test isn't saying you CAN'T have women talking about men, it's just saying that women have other interests too and not acknowledging that at all, or only acknowledging it as it relates to the male characters, is pretty sexist.

  11. Saphling says:

    I enjoyed this episode, as a whole. Nice twists in the story helped keep it interesting, and watching Buffy try desperately to juggle a social life and her destiny was simultaneously delightful and painful to watch. Such awkwardness. <3

    My only sigh of disappointment was that they, of course, made the camo-clad religious-ranting guy Southern. Of course they did. I've heard that song before, and it's not one I like. At least his accent was authentic (there are few things worse than a faked Southern accent); the actor who played Andrew Borba is from Houston, TX.

    • ravenclaw42 says:

      I feel you with the fundamentalist Southern baddies. Yawn. Htu, gur ynfg frnfba. Gur qrnq Fbhgurea Cbgragvny jub fubjf hc nf gur Svefg NAQ Pnyro, jvgu snxrq nppragf nyy nebhaq. V pna'g erzrzore nabgure Fbhgurea punenpgre va gur ragver fubj, fb – nyy ivbyrag, zvfbtlavfgvp, hore-pbafreingvir perrcref, gura. Lrc! Gung'f jung jr nyy ner. Gunaxf, Wbff.

    • hassibah says:

      All the upvotes to this: I've always hated this cliche, especially in this genre :/

  12. hassibah says:

    So some cool stuff happened in this episode, but most of my notes were about the clothes.

    YES there was that godawful band too. But what happened here? Buffy starts out so well in her cute green and white dress and boots and then she goes straight into the arms of that godawful fake tiger fur hoodie, and then the tie-dye shirt the next day?

    Also, I don't even remember people using crimpers after like 1992, I really don't understand a lot of the styling decisions on this show. Y'all might hate me for this but I think I liked Cordelia's friend's massive hair, but that might just be because I couldn't see it up close.

    And as long as I'm reviewing, I think Giles looked quite dapper as per usual.

    I don't know how I feel about Owen and his whole I'm a contrived and brooding intellectual that's too deep to eat lunch with other people act, I'm not really into that act in the first place. And he liked "exploring" abandoned urban buildings? I think I know the type and I'm not interested, so good for Buffy there.

    And YES, why the hell does Angel keep giving Buffy hints and marching orders but never actually help her out? It's getting on my nerves.

    • cait0716 says:

      That tie-dye shirt is the wost thing ever. I did really like her dress on her date with Owen.

    • NB2000 says:

      I have to say, IMO this extra:
      <img src=""/&gt;
      probably the worst of the clothes for this episode. (she walks behind Owen and Buffy just before Angel shows up in case anyone was wondering).

    • RoseFyre says:

      Oh God, the tiger fur hoodie. I was talking to a friend while rewatching, and my comment was "thank God the 90s are over". And yes, I also noticed that Giles looked lovely. Admittedly, tweed is never quite IN style, but it's never OUT of style either. So he always looks (at least so far) well put together and appropriate, which is more than I can say for some of the teenagers' outfits!

      • hassibah says:

        Thing is I am just old enough to remember the 90s well (actually I think I am about Mark's age?) and I really don't remember anyone on the planet dressing like Buffy and co do. Well with the exception of Willow and her short skirts/pretty tights/sneakers collection, that is a look I actually saw around.

        I had to explain this to my cousin's kid who is now 15 and calls Buffy "vintage" cause she now thinks that we all dressed like that. Also how at one point in time white people thought getting dreadlocks was a good idea.

        • notemily says:

          My memories of 90s fashion are more neon, scrunchies, oversized t-shirts with a knot on the side, stuff like that. I guess that's more early 90s, though. When this show came out I was 13, and probably wearing a lot of long flowy hippie skirts. When I wasn't in my school uniform. (Uniform fashion is something else entirely. I remember thinking about how the adults thought uniforms would "equalize" the kids, but there was DEFINITELY a way to wear your uniform that was Cool and a way that was Not Cool. The popular girls would roll their plaid skirts up so they were much shorter. I was not one of those girls.)

          Some of the clothes on this show are like "yeah, people actually did wear those things in the 90s" and some of them are just like "uh, nobody in the history of EVER has dressed like that." I think there are a couple of Buffy fashion blogs out there, actually. Buffy Fashion Roulette is the one I've read, but it doesn't seem to be updated anymore, sadly. Spoilers, obviously.

          • hassibah says:

            My school had a uniform too, so I totally get that. Luckily my uniform had pants and I opted for those cause I was too self conscious to wear even knee length shirts then. For us I think the coolness was how you accessorized and what you get away with in terms of that/hair colour, though everybody hiked their skirt up as well.

            Late 90s I remember a lot of cargo pants, maxi skirts, baggy cords, light coloured jeans and (unfortunately) raver pants. Also shopping vintage was still cool so stores would manufacture a lot of fake bowling shirts and t-shirts with some cheesy logo that were supposed to look like they could have been from the 70s and bought at goodwill. Also camouflage, hemp necklaces, airwalks, vans and other puffy skate shoes and (of course) eyebrow rings and manic panic.

            And so many Jennifer Aniston copycat haircuts! Just off the top of my head.

            • notemily says:

              Pants were allowed at my school, but it wasn't cool to wear them. I wore them anyway in the winter because COLD. And yeah, accessories were important too, and while the shirt requirement was "white shirt with collar," there were a lot of ways you could interpret that.

              Oh god, raver pants! I had those! What were they called? UFOs? Maybe that was just a brand. Actually now that you say that stuff it's all coming back to me. I have a bunch of photos of myself in 1999 wearing huge pants, and sometimes a camo-print t-shirt. I think I also wore a lot of stuff from the Delia's catalog.

              Oh man, there was this dude in 8th grade who had Airwalks made of green fuzzy tennis-ball material, and we all thought he was ~the coolest~. I forgot all about skater fashion, which is weird because Xander skateboards in the first episode of this show.

              • hassibah says:

                Pants were fine for us, skater girls would buy really baggy work pants and the girls that go clubbing would buy ultra fitted ones. Just as long as you didn't wear the kind that the actual uniform store was selling, you were cool.

                Gura gurer'f gur fubj'f vagrecergngvba bs n onqnff juvpu vf uryyn shaal (zomg spoilers.)

                Some of the clothes on Buffy look normal (I am a fan of Willow's short skirts and zany tights) but so much of it is so weird like you said. A lot of Buffy and Cordelia's clothes especially look way more apt for their moms than for a 16 year old to wear.
                I LOVE that fashun blog and it bums me out it didn't last long, that girl was one of my favourite bloggers on anything.

          • misterbernie says:

            …thank you for giving me another Buffy-related blog to read (I can laugh about fashion, I am just blind to it!)

            Gung fnvq, vg znxrf zr ernyvfr ubj zhpu V ybirq Snvgu'f onq tvey ybbx naq V fgvyy qb, aty.

    • BradSmith5 says:

      Hassibah, Angel is just being helpful. I mean, whenever I go out dancing somewhere I wish that some guy would come up to tell *me* useful things.

      "Hey, Mark just updated his blog. You might want to go check it out."

      But hey, you can just go right on being a little Cordy and judging him! And CLOTHES. Honestly! 😉

      • hassibah says:

        Are you talking about helpful hints like "hay here is a way to get in touch with me about blog-related things?"
        I wouldn't give you like a list of comments I want written and then just sit back and wait, bro.

        I reviewed male personalities too! And other things, but they were mostly in the replies to other people's comments.

        • BradSmith5 says:

          Well poor core013 on page two would have LOVED it if Angel had come to tell her about the blog. You see, he knows she's got the commenting skills! He knows she can work the browser! She just needs the info to come swaggering up, all dark and mysterious to get her started.

          FLAWLESS metaphor, ha,ha-ha.

          • hassibah says:

            On second thought when you put it that way, maybe I will contract out my comment-writing duties.

            But at least I won't ever be wearing a velvet jacket at the same time.

    • James says:

      V svther Natry qbrf uvf Pelcgvp Oebbql Thl jvgubhg gnxvat n zber npgvir ebyr orpnhfr ur jnagf gb uryc Ohssl, ohg qbrfa'g jnag ure gb xabj ur'f n inzcver lrg naq inzc!snpr graqf gb pbzr hc va svtugvat. Vg vf irel naablvat jura lbh qba'g xabj zber nobhg uvz gb fcrphyngr, gubhtu.

      • hassibah says:

        Bu sbe fher, ohg V'z fnlvat ng guvf cbvag va gur fgbel V jbhyq or nyy xvaqf bs naablrq vs V jnf ure. Fur'f tbg n uhtr jrvtug ba ure fubhyqref naq abg znal crbcyr jub fur pna gnyx gb nobhg vg, naq urer'f n thl gung'f boivbhfyl rdhvccrq gb uryc ure bhg naq xabjf jung'f hc naq ur'f whfg fvggvat onpx naq yrggvat ure qb nyy gur tehag jbex.

  13. NB2000 says:

    Up until the last scene Owen actually seemed really nice and sweet, which really made his sudden switch in attitude all the more heartbreaking. Probably seen that coming with how he went on about how morbid Emily Dickinson was. It's definitely for the best that Buffy let him go when she did though.

    Shameless gif request, if anyone feels like it: There's a moment during the super-awkward Bronze scene when Owen comes back over to Buffy and Angel does this little…head bounce thing at him which I found really hilarious. Someone getting jealous? Vg sryg zber yvxr gur fbeg bs trfgher Fcvxr jbhyq znxr, juvpu zvtug or jul V sbhaq vg fb ragregnvavat. It's at 27:15.


    SERIOUSLY. Even Charisma Carpenter can't make crimped hair work. Buffy on the other hand looked SUPER ADORABLE in the gold dress and pink coat.

    Gur guvat vf, Tvyrf whfg bcrayl npprcgrq uvf sngr

    OJNUNUNUNUNUN bu Znex, fb abg cercnerq sbe Gur Qnex Ntr

    • notemily says:

      Yeah if you watch it again there are a couple of hints of Owen's fascination with death–the Emily Dickinson, but also the fact that he genuinely thinks going to the funeral home is a great idea.

  14. Natalie says:

    Mark: like many of the new people on this site, I was referred from a BtVS fan site and was unfamiliar with your work. However, over the last week I've read a SHAMEFUL amount of your site. Like, really, so much that I'm not even going to tell you, because I will come across as a total weirdo. But trust me.

    Anyway, I think you're awesome.

    I'm really enjoying your comments on this season so far. Don't be afraid to critique: I'm a huge Buffy fan and even I'll admit that "Teacher's Pet" is really stupid.

    I love that in this episode, there is such a line drawn between the humans who choose to involve themselves with Buffy's fights. Xander and Willow don't need to fight, but they do, because it is the right and moral thing to do, and because of their affection for Buffy. Owen, though, wants to fight because of the rush of fighting, and the show draws a hard line there. What Xander and Willow do is commendable; what Owen wants to do is destructive. Period.

    I absolutely can't wait to keep reading your comments.

    • xpanasonicyouthx says:


    • pica_scribit says:

      Welcome to the Mark-love. This is a super fun, friendly place to hang out.

    • mreeb says:

      Yaaaaay, welcome!

    • @amykins13 says:

      "However, over the last week I've read a SHAMEFUL amount of your site. Like, really, so much that I'm not even going to tell you, because I will come across as a total weirdo. But trust me. "

      Don't worry, I did the same thing when I first discovered Mark (which was through Mark Reads The Hunger Games, and then Mark Reads Harry Potter, and then Mark Reads Twilight, and then Mark Watches Firefly, and then Mark Watches Avatar The Last Airbender, and then Mark Watches Doctor Who, and then OH DEAR GOD I HAVE NOW REVEALED WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE SPENT ON THIS SITE IN A VERY SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME). Yeah. ALL of that read ALL the way through in about two weeks span or less, and then I went through major withdrawl symptoms.

      I love all of those books and tv shows but considering that Buffy is probably my favorite show of all time, I was pretty ecstatic when I found out he would be reviewing it. AND HE KNOWS SO LITTLE ABOUT IT which is delicious. V zrna, V pna'g oryvrir ur qbrfa'g rira xabj gung Natry vf n inzcver. V srry yvxr nyzbfg rirelbar jub unfa'g frra gur fubj unf cvpxrq hc ba ng yrnfg gung bar snpg. One episode a day though is SO SLOW when I'm used to marathoning my way through his reviews.

      • cait0716 says:

        One ep a day is slow, but being able to participate in the comments makes up for it, I think. This community is pretty great and there's a lot of insight and awesome discussion

        Though I did go through similar withdrawl symptoms when I caught up to Mark at the end of Deathly Hallows.

        • notemily says:

          Yeah, I think everyone remembers the moment where they caught up to Mark and had to start reading in real-time. I think for me it was somewhere in the middle of Prisoner of Azkaban? Shortly after he was linked on Cleolinda, anyway.

          • misterbernie says:

            I was first linked to MRHP Oct 29, 2010, but I didn't start to read it all until December when I was having ~romantic issues~ and needed to distract myself from them. I've read that three times since, and once it sorta made me read HP backwards.
            /how i started to read mark story

            But yeah, now that we're into Buffy (and after having missed AtLA), the only other thing I've watched… how the hell do you function with real-time D:

      • t09yavosaur says:

        Is it less embarrassing to have read all the same things but in realtime (as it was posted)? Because I think a lot of people here have done that as well.

    • Genny_ says:

      I read… basically the entire site when I found it. It's okay, we all understand! Really!

      And welcome! 😀

    • theDMG says:

      "Mark: like many of the new people on this site, I was referred from a BtVS fan site and was unfamiliar with your work. However, over the last week I've read a SHAMEFUL amount of your site. Like, really, so much that I'm not even going to tell you, because I will come across as a total weirdo. But trust me. "

      Same here. When the site wasn't crashed by people like me, I've been going through all the Doctor Who, Firefly, Torchwood and Sherlock episodes. Given Mark's style (namely the infectious excitement at moments of pure awesomeness), there are so many episodes I can't wait until he makes it too on this show. And I'll also chime in with some agreement on the "Don't be afraid to critique," front. Criticism makes the world fuller.

    • MightBeNatalie says:

      Wow… you are all so kind and welcoming! Thanks. I signed up for an account and everything, and am making myself quite at home. Glad to know I'm not the only obsessive.

    • Meg says:


      I first discovered Mark through Mark Reads Harry Potter, but it was only this past summer…one of my close friends at college was reading it and kept going on about it, so finally, the last week before school started when I was actually in bed with a bad cold, I gave it a chance and was instantly hooked. I was doing around a book a day (a little more than that for the first three). I meant to read the rest of his stuff, but with school starting I didn’t really have the time, though I DID keep up with his weekly reviews of the sixth season of Doctor Who. Then, around Thanksgiving Break, I was looking for something to do and decided to read ALL of the previous Mark Watches Doctor Who’s, which led me to wanting to read all of Mark Reads the Hunger Games, Mark Watches Sherlock, then finally Mark Watches Avatar. And Mark Watches Avatar is what saved me during finals when I was sinking into that deep, dark hole of finals-induced despair.

      Except now my friends want to kill him because I honestly WILL NOT SHUT UP about the awesomeness of Mark and his blog.

      I’m re-reading His Dark Materials over Winter Break SOLELY for the purpose of remembering enough to enjoy his reviews of those (and I’ve been wanting to re-read them for a while), and it’s the reason I’m going to read The Book Thief (FINALLY). And BSG is now much higher on my list. Which is funny, because I was actually supposed to watch BSG before Buffy, but then a friend made me start Buffy before and somehow never got back around to BSG. BUT I WILL NOW.

      The first time I was technically “keeping up with him” was with Jekyll, which I was watching for the first time as well. I think I almost cried when I realized he didn’t do weekend reviews.

  15. Natalie says:

    Also, I will never, ever spoil you. Because I am not a horrible person.

  16. monkeybutter says:

    Yeah, Buffy is flawed, and not just to be flawed and relatable, but as a byproduct of being a slayer. She doesn’t have normal teeanger experiences because she’s too busy fighting demons, and doesn’t want the people around her to be harmed. She’s an awkward teenager for her own reasons. I also like Giles talking about finding out that he was destined to be a watcher, and that he and Buffy sort of bonded over it. I love them.

    Random notes: Willow’s delivery of “he can brood for 40 minutes straight. I’ve clocked him!” was brilliant, and Buffy made me rewatch IT’S THE 90S.

    • Karen says:

      Yessss. Buffy is such a wonderful character because she's so realistically flawed.

    • hassibah says:

      I've been meaning to bring back "it's the 90s," freals.

      I love Buffy's efforts to have a normal life, cause really it's all so much work on her part. If I was a slayer tbh I would probably just totally slack off in every other aspect of my life and not give a shit at all if it all falls apart. That would be a terrible show, but probably very 90s.

      • monkeybutter says:

        Haha, yeah, I'd be the same way. It'd be very BSG in the "watch as everything goes to shit" sort of way.

    • @liliaeth says:

      Gur sha guvat nobhg Bjra'f oebbqvat, vf gung va Rnefubg, jr tbg gb urne whfg jung ur jnf oebbqvat nobhg.

  17. Mary Sue says:

    I didn't get a chance to watch this episode yet, and I probably haven't seen it in five years… and I can't remember ANY of it.

    Huh. Do I lose my fangirl card for that?

    Fb, va fcbvyreynaq… Envfr lbhe unaq vs lbh guvax Znex'f tbvat gb nofbyhgryl ybir Gur Jvfu.

    • mreeb says:

      *raises hand*

    • hpfish13 says:

      V ybir Gur Jvfu! Rfcrpvnyyl fvapr orpnhfr bs vg jr trg Qbccyrtnaqynaq! Juvpu unf gung snohybhf zbzrag jurer rirelbar guvaxf Jvyybj vf n inzcver, naq gurl nyy uht ure, gura fgrc njnl naq Tvyrf whzcf bire naq uhtf ure gbb! Gur ybbx ba Jvyybj'f snpr vf whfg zneirybhf!

    • lawrence_s says:

      Gur Jvfu, sbe fher, ohg evtug abj V'z whfg ybbxvat sbejneq gb gur arkg gjb Ghrfqnlf (Natry naq Cebcurpl Tvey). Ohssl vf fb shyy bs tnzr punatvat rcvfbqrf, naq gubfr ner gur barf V'z zbfg ybbxvat sbejneq gb Znex'f ernpgvbaf gb. V ernyyl guvax gubfr gjb svefg frnfba tnzr punatref ner jung jvyy ernyyl ortva gb chyy uvz va…

      (Ab, V unira'g orra tbvat guebhtu gur pnyraqne naq gelvat gb svther bhg jura ur'f tbvat gb erivrj gur frevbhfyl nznmvat rcvfbqrf, jul qb lbh nfx? 🙂

    • @amykins13 says:

      Naq nyfb Qbccrytnatynaq.

      • Mez says:

        Okay – I was just able to read your entire comment without decrypting. Clearly I've been reading the rot13 here way too much this week…

        • RoseFyre says:

          Me too! You know it's bad when you start recognizing characters' names in rot13 and don't need to use it to translate them because you've been reading it too much.

          • eruonna says:

            Some of the character names work well under rot13. I like Natry. And Knaqre looks Ancient Egyptian. Nalnaxn is good. And Gnen is recognizable and nearly pronounceable. (Some of those characters haven't been introduced yet, so un-rot13-ing them would be a spoiler.)

            • Kickpuncher says:

              V'z cerggl vagrerfgvat va frrvat jung ur znxrf bs Nalnaxn, orpnhfr fur'f whfg n Zbafgre-bs-gur-Jrrx ng svefg naq gura fur whfg xrrcf pbzvat onpx hagvy fur orpbzrf gur orfg punenpgre ba gur fubj.

          • xpanasonicyouthx says:



  18. I seriously don’t get who he is and why he only acts as a really shitty and vague informant. WHO ARE YOU ANGEL.
    Where do you think Starbuck disappeared to, Mark?

  19. notemily says:

    Never Kill a Boy on the First Date: AKA This Is Why Buffy Can't Have Nice Things.

    I love Buffy's little updos! The strands of hair framing her face are so cute.

    Ironic book-segue fairy! #7


    Buffy's tiny little green dress!

    "She's quite a good poet, for… an American." ILU Giles

    "He can brood for forty minutes straight." LOLOL [WHFG YVXR NATRY NZVEVGR]

    "I mean… how'd the LAYING go? …No, I don't mean that either." Great dialogue in this ep.

    Somehow I never noticed before the detail that Buffy just lays her cafeteria tray on Cordelia's lunch. LOLOL



    "I was sure it was tonight." Ironic bus accident segue fairy! #8

    OK, Buffy, the shiny blue cropped tank top with the tie-dye target on it is NOT a good choice.

    Xander trying to slut-shame Buffy in order to keep her from going out with Owen–NOT COOL, Xander. I love that Buffy just looks at him like "uh-huh, right. Time for my date now."

    Cordelia, the crimped look is not working for you.

    Ah, high school dancing. Arms around neck, arms around waist. So boring! Do some STEPS!

    Angel! Of course Cordy immediately latches on to him.

    Awww, I think Angel is a little jealous of Buffy being on a date! 😀

    "Where do you know each other from?" "Work." "You… work?"

    I love Xander and Willow pretending to date and pretending that the Funeral Home is a grate place for a date. And Owen is all like "FUNTIEMS!"

    Angel, I C U there symbolically between Buffy and Owen in that one shot. You are symbolic of her ~mysterious Slayer life~ coming between her and her date!

    Ironic this-is-where-they-keep-all-the-dead-bodies segue fairy! #9


    "Does anyone have an aspirin? Or… or sixty?"

    I like how Buffy is sure she's scared Owen away at first, but then she realizes she hasn't–and that it's WORSE. 🙁 She acts so much more mature about this than I would have at that age, though.

    Ironic no-more-Anointed-one segue fairy! #10! Man, this episode was full of them.

    Yeah so I suppose most of my thoughts on this episode were about fashion and hairstyles. It's a fun ep, though, and really explores the idea of Buffy's Slayer life clashing with her high-school-girl life.

    • rabbitape says:

      So many great lines in this epsiode — you called out all the ones that I loved.

      And I refuse to buy that the green dress is a dress. It's a SHIRT. Buffy where are your PANTS?

    • hassibah says:

      That tie dye top is pretty bad but the black pants that went with them were horrible too.
      I had a lot of feelings about the clothes too(THAT HOODIE, WHAT IS THAT??) Especially that green dress, which I need to own NOW(but I too would wear with pants.)

      Yes, Xander is a jerk (& no 1 curr) and Giles pretending to harrass Buffy about library books at her house was adorable.

    • Karen says:

      Xander trying to slut-shame Buffy in order to keep her from going out with Owen–NOT COOL, Xander. I love that Buffy just looks at him like "uh-huh, right. Time for my date now."

      SERIOUSLY. Ugh. Xander.

    • RoseFyre says:

      Oh God, those updos were so in style back then. And trying to make sure you had the EXACT RIGHT amount of hair framing your face…it never worked well with my glasses, sadly. :/

      And Giles dissing on Emily Dickinson = the most awesome thing ever.

    • arctic_hare says:

      Yeah, Xander's slut-shaming of Buffy is horrible. AND Y'ALL WONDER WHY I CAN'T STAND HIM.

    • settlingforhistory says:

      Awww, I think Angel is a little jealous of Buffy being on a date! 😀

      Oh, he totally is! 🙂
      Naq qvq lbh abgvpr uvf engure cnvarq ybbx nsgre Ohssl fnvq 'Ovgr zr'
      V qba'g xaj vs gung jnf vagragvbany be vs V'z whfg vzntvavat guvatf, ohg V gubhtug vg uvynevbhf.

    • Smurphy says:


      This Is Why Buffy Can't Have Nice Things. She can't… its sad. Qbrfa'g gung riraghnyyl orpbzr n ohssl pngpucuenfr? Be ng yrnfg n snaqbz pngpucuenfr.

      • settlingforhistory says:

        'Jr'er qbbzrq' vf zber cbchyne V thrff, orpnhfr vg vapyhqrf nyy eryngvbafuvcf bs gur Fpbbovrf. Ohg Guvf Vf Jul Ohssl Pna'g Unir Avpr Guvatf vf whfg gbb gehr, fur pna'g … rire. Cbbe Ohss.

    • robin says:

      Gur bayl ernfba sbe gur Naablvat Bar gb rkvfg vf gb unir Fcvxr ebyy uvf rlrf ng prerzbal & sel uvz. JBEGU VG.

      • Kari18212 says:

        GEHGU. Nalguvat gung nyybjrq Fcvxr gb or na njrfbzr onqnff jnf cerggl jbegu vg va zl obbx. BZT FB RKPVGR SBE FPUBBY UNEQ.

        *qrrc oernguf* Fgvyy unir zbfg bs frnfba bar gb tb… or cngvrag…

    • misterbernie says:

      Hhhhtu, gur Naablvat Bar. Fb… naablvat.

    • pica_scribit says:

      Ah, high school dancing. Arms around neck, arms around waist. So boring! Do some STEPS!

      High school dancing = excuse to touch person you find attractive.

  20. arctic_hare says:

    I really liked this episode! I thought it was a lot of fun! I continue to dislike Xander, but I'll grudgingly admit that when he and Willow show up to the Bronze it is awkward and hilarious. Hilariously awkward! 😀 And Giles, oh, I adore you every time. <3 LOL Angel, count me in on the cries to please gif that one expression of his. Tooooooooo funny. He really is being a… I don't even know what word I want, but if you're not going to help her, Angel, SHUT UP. If it were me, every time he showed up, I'd sarcastically ask him "Gee, could you be a little more vague, please?" like Crow did in a particularly memorable episode of MST3k.

    Most of all, I'm really glad Buffy shot down Owen's attempt to, as it was put up there by atalantapendrag, have her be his Manic Pixie Dream Girl. No, just… no. That'd be shitty even if she wasn't the Slayer and I'm happy she turned him down. So nice to see the show doing this.

    Bu zl tbbqarff, V pna'g jnvg sbe Znex gb trg gb Tvyrf' onpxfgbel. YBYVAT FB UNEQ EVTUG ABJ NG "Gur guvat vf, Tvyrf whfg bcrayl npprcgrq uvf sngr, fb vg’f sehfgengvat sbe uvz gb frr Ohssl svtug ntnvafg vg." Orpnhfr uv, Evccre.

    • cait0716 says:

      It's weird, because Angel and Xander were both acting rather jealous and possessive in this episode, but Xander's behavior was hard to stomach whereas Angel's just made me laugh. Xander was certainly acting more possessive, trying to slut-shame Buffy and going so far as to advise Owen not to touch her. (Also watching her change in the mirror – major EW). He does at least attempt to ask her out at the end of the episode, but once again gets cut off. It's annoying because he never seems to try to act on his feelings until Buffy expresses interest in someone else. Meanwhile, Angel's reaction seems to be a bit more along the lines of "Oh, you mean the fact that I gave you a jacket doesn't mean we're dating?" You can tell that he's jealous, but it's not as off-putting as Xander's jealousy.

      • arctic_hare says:

        THIS. Xander is super gross, but Angel is just lulzy for some reason. Probably has something to do with the lack of slut-shaming, watching her change, etc.

      • Genny_ says:

        I think I find Angel a lot less… assertive in his jealousy? He's jealous, but he's mostly just coming across as personally brooding about it. Whereas Xander seems to think it's a reason to Take Action. Also, I guess because Angel is kind of ~mysterious and ~shady, whereas Xander is supposed to be this great guy and BFF.

      • robin says:

        Angel IS more lulzy to me. I agree with the crowd… it's because he's all fail-y and butthurt about it instead of pushing himself onto Buffy and trying to control her (the don't-touch-her stuff) and shame her. Also, after the whole flirty jacket thing (which Buffy totally wore to school the next day), it's like he and Buffy are mutually sending awkward, mixed signals to each other. Plus, Xander is supposed to be Buffy's trusted platonic friend while Angel is definitely not her trusted BFF but just a potential date/boyfriend. (Getting into Buffy's trusted personal circle and then using that position to try to undermine her relations with other guys makes Xander the bigger jackass.)

  21. tanbarkie says:

    “Gur guvat vf, Tvyrf whfg bcrayl npprcgrq uvf sngr…”



  22. guest_age says:

    The thing I really like about this show, and I think you've seen at least three or four good examples of it now, is the way this show plays with tropes and then subverts them. Take the scene in the first episode where Darla and the boy are walking through the school and things are kind of creepy. The natural inclination is to fear for her safety because that's what horror has taught us to do: the little blonde girl always dies. And then surprise! She's actually the bad guy and kills him. Then again in the alleyway with Buffy and Angel: teen girl wanders into a dark alley and actually takes down the guy who's being creepy by stalking her. Again in Witch, when they turn the trope on its head with the twist of Amy's mom having taken her body. And then again here, when we hear religious-sounding prophecies about the "Anointed One" and then meet the big, burly guy babbling about God and being judged. When awakens as a vampire, it seems certain: yep, this is our guy. Except he's incinerated and bum bum bum: the Anointed One is the scared-looking child from the bus. (While I acknowledge that "scary children" is a trope in its own right, I don't feel like that detracts from the subversion here.)

    That's one of the things I love so much about this show: you can never truly be prepared for it because it will constantly play with the expectations that a lifetime of being exposed to how media works create in you, and then turn them on their head and laugh while you stare in shock.

    • tanbarkie says:

      VZB, gur bayl hasbeghangr guvat nobhg trggvat vagb "Ohssl" guvf yngr vf gung fbzr bs gur bevtvany vqrnf Jurqba unq sbe gur fubj unir fvapr zbecurq vagb zvabe GI naq zbivr pyvpurf va gurve bja evtug (gur "nff-xvpxvat gval oybaqr tvey" orvat bar bs gurz), juvpu qnzcraf gur vzcnpg gb arj ivrjref bs whfg ubj fhoirefvir "Ohssl" jnf sbe vgf gvzr.

      V'q nethr gung gur punenpgre bs Knaqre ("znyr yrnq birefunqbjrq ol fgebat srznyr jub fgehttyrf jvgu fnvq birefunqbjvat") vf n fvzvyne rknzcyr – zbqrea ivrjref fbzrgvzrf sbetrg gung whfg univat n znyr znva punenpgre jub JNFA'G gur "ovt gbhtu yrnqre" ol qrsnhyg jnf cerggl qnza fhoirefvir va 1997. Rkcybevat ubj fhpu n punenpgre jbhyq unir gb er-rinyhngr uvf bja nffhzcgvbaf nobhg znaubbq jura snprq jvgu n jbzna zber cbjreshy guna uvzfrys jnf rira zberfb.

      • guest_age says:

        That's true, but I think 1) there are enough things that are still subversive enough to be impressive, and also 2) Mark, from what I've seen from his past reviews, is good at putting things in their historical context.

        v.r. Gubhtu vg'yy or njuvyr hagvy ur trgf gurer, V guvax ur'yy or noyr gb chg Jvyybj/Gnen va gur uvfgbevpny pbagrkg gung vg qrfreirf–juvyr abj, gurve eryngvbafuvc jbhyq or avpr, ohg abguvat arj be bireyl abgrjbegul (V fnl, gnxvat bss zl fuvccre ung naq whfg ybbxvat ng vg sebz na bowrpgvir crefcrpgvir), ng gur gvzr vg jnf n uhtr qrny. Va zl rkcrevrapr jvgu uvz, Znex vf noyr gb ybbx ng guvatf yvxr gung naq haqrefgnaq gung sbe gur phygher ng gur gvzr, vg jnf va snpg n uhtr qrny, nf jnf, nf lbh fnl, Knaqre'f punenpgre naq Ohssl'f punenpgrevmngvba/novyvgvrf.

  23. kte says:

    One observation and one question:

    Observation- in the final scene with Buffy and Owen, check out the woman in the background with the orange plaid blazer, orange sneakers, and giant orange purse (she is practically omnipresent).

    Question- why do vampire's clothing dust with them? I'm not sure why, after 14 years, I have this question. I typically don't need things from the sci-fi world to make sense in my reality, but I really am curious.

    • cait0716 says:

      Simple Answer: It's easier

      Complicated Fanwank answer: When a vampire is dusted, anything s/he is making direct contact with is dusted as well, unless it's also touching a human. So when a stake gets thrown into a vampire, it will dust with him, whereas when Buffy thrusts a stake into a vampire but continues to hold it, she protects that stake from being dusted. The vampire's ring did not get dusted at the beginning of the episode because, being a relic of the Order of Aurelius, it was magically protected against destruction.

    • hpfish13 says:

      What I find interesting is that one of the main reasons they decided to go with the dusting effect at all (which was not cheap), was because they decided plot wise it would be way to difficult to explain how everyone in Sunnydale just accepts the fact that there are constantly dead bodies turning up with wooden stakes in their hearts. Missing people are much easier to explain away.

      • settlingforhistory says:

        Also I think, they didn't want Buffy and the Slayeretts to have to spent time hiding the bodies.
        Fbrguvat gurl ynzcfunqr yngre jura gurl unir gb oevat fubiryf gb uvqr n qrzba naq
        fbzrbar (V oryvrir Jvyybj) fnlf "Qbrfa'g vg whfg tb cbbs?"

    V nz ernyyl ybbxvat sbejneq gb Znex’f erivrj bs “Natry”. V’z rfcrpvnyyl jbaqrevat ubj ur jvyy ernpg gb gur snpg gung Natry vf n inzcver. Jvyy ur ungr vg orpnhfr vg tvirf uvz synfuonpxf gb Gjvyvtug? Lbh pna’g qral gur fvzvynevgvrf, V zrna Natry vf va ure ebbz, gryyf ure fur ybbxf phgr jura fur fyrrcf (be fbzrguvat yvxr gung), unf xvaq bs orra fgnyxvat ure, rgp. Be znlor ur’yy whfg or fxrcgvpny jvgu na bcra zvaq? V’z obgu areibhf naq rkpvgrq gb frr ubj ur ernpgf.

    • arctic_hare says:

      Just so you know, numbers don't get cyphered in rot13, so I edited that out of your comment.

    • Noybusiness says:

      "Guvf vf jung Fgrcunavr Zrlre gbbx naq qvfgbegrq."

      "Vg'f yvxr Gjvyvtug jvgu npghny crefbanyvgvrf."

    • tigerpetals says:

      Ubcrshyyl ur jvyy unir na bcra zvaq. V zrna Natry fnj ure fyrrc orpnhfr fur nfxrq uvz gb fyrrc bire, naq cerfhznoyl ur uvq uvf vqragvgl orpnhfr gurl'er zbegny rarzvrf. Naq Ohssl vfa'g pbaivaprq fur fubhyq xvyy uvz orpnhfr fur pna gryy ur'f orra gelvat gb uryc ure. V unir orra areibhf sberire. Pbzcnevfbaf gb Gjvyvtug va fbzr sbez ner cerggl zhpu varivgnoyr, V guvax.

    • settlingforhistory says:

      V nyjnlf gubhtug gur znva qvssrerapr orgjrra gurfr gjb pbhcyrf jnf Ohssl'f ernpgvba jura fur svaqf bhg. Abg bayl gur ernyyl ybhq naq ulfgerpvny fperrz ohg nyfb gung fur frrf uvz orrvat n inzcver nf na raq gb gurve cbffvoyr eryngvbafuvc naq fur nprcgf gung fur unf gb xvyy uvz.
      Oryyn vf whfg 'Bu, ur pbhyq xvyy zr, V fubhyq or nsenvq, ohg fbzrubj V'z abg'
      Oryyn unf ab frys cerfreingvba, Ohssl xabjf fur unf n erfcbafvovyvgl.

      • Tbbq cbvag nobhg ure ernpgvba if. Oryyn'f. V ernyvmr gung gurer ner uhtr, uhtr qvssreraprf orgjrra gur gjb eryngvbafuvcf, ohg n ybg bs gubfr qvssreraprf ner uvtuyvtugrq va yngre rcvfbqrf vs V erzrzore pbeerpgyl. Ohg sbe abj, V'z phevbhf gb frr Znex'f vavgvny ernpgvba gb gur erirny. Fvapr fbzr bs gur ovttre qvssreraprf ner fubja va "Natry" gubhtu, nsgre ernqvat fbzr bs gurfr pbzzragf, V'z guvaxvat vg'yy cebonoyl or fbzrguvat yvxr ubcrshy fxrcgvpvfz ng jbefg. Naq vs abg, vg'yy fgvyy or sha gb frr vs uvf bcvavba fuvsgf bire gvzr.

    • Smurphy says:

      V srry yvxr ur pna tb rvgure jnl… guvf vf bar bs gubfr guvatf gung znxr zr areibhf. ZNEX ABG YVXVAT NATRY. Pna lbh vzntvar jngpuvat nyy bs guvf naq uvz ABG yvxvat Natry. Gung jbhyq or FB ONQ.

      • Kickpuncher says:

        Vg'f cbffvoyr. V arire ernyyl pnerq sbe Natry nf n punenpgre hagvy ur tbg uvf bja fubj, rira vs V yvxrq gur jubyr Natryhf fhocybg.

    • lyvanna says:

      "Lbh xabj, orvat fgnyxrq vfa'g ernyyl n ovt ghea ba sbe tveyf" Gurer'f gur qvssrerapr V ubcr Znex jvyy abgvpr.

    • PheasantPlucker says:

      Gur ovttrfg qvssrerapr, nf V frr vg, vf gung va Gjvyvtug gur nhgube cerfragf gur perrcl jngpuvat-lbh-fyrrc fgnyxre nf gur ebznagvp vqrny juvyr va Ohssl vgf cerfragrq nf Natryhf-gur-znavchyngvir-zheqrebhf-svraq. Arvgure gur punenpgref abe gur nhqvrapr ner fhccbfrq gb yvxr gung orunivbhe, naq Natry uvzfrys pregnvayl unf n ceboyrz jvgu orvat n inzcver. Jura ur qbrf perrcl guvatf, ur trgf pnyyrq ba gurz naq gura (jura ur unf n fbhy) oebbqf nobhg vg. Ohssl qbrfa'g gnxr uvf penc, naq arvgure qb gur Fpbbovrf.

    • robin says:

      Bar guvat OgIF unf ba vgf fvqr vf gung Gjvyvtug pnzr jnl nsgre… (Gubhtu gur Inzcver Qvnevrf frevrf pnzr svefg va 1992.)

      Cyhf, vg hygvzngryl qvssref sebz Gjvyvtug va gung gur Ohssl/Natry cybgyvar qbrfa'g unir n unccl raqvat — ur jnf ure svefg ybir gung fur jnf n ovg anvir naq qernzl nobhg, arire ernyyl trggvat gb xabj uvz be guvaxvat nobhg gur shgher. Gur fubj npxabjyrqtrf gung fur'f n grrantre jvgu n grrantre'f vqrnf nobhg eryngvbafuvcf. Gung'f n fgnex pbagenfg jvgu Rqjneq/Oryyn.

    • VoldieBeth says:

      V'ir ernq Gjvyvtug orsber jngpuvat OgIF naq jura vg tbg gb gung cneg (jurer vg jnf gbb fvzvyne ABG gb pbzzrag) V ynhturq bhg ybhq (yvgrenyyl) naq fnvq "Un! FZrlre gbgnyyl evccrq bss Ohssl! Jnl gb or havdhr naq guvax bs lbh'er bja cybg!" Cyhf, Ohssl/Natry npg yvxr erny crbcyr juvyr Rqjneq/Oryyn npg yvxr fbzr frkhnyyl ercerffrq 30 fbzrguvat zbz'f qernz. Fb V qba'g guvax Znex jvyy unir n ceboyrz jvgu Natry orvat n inzcver, ur'yy whfg ybir vg nyy gur zber naq ungr Gjvyvtug rira zber!

  25. Mez says:

    Failure of Secret Identity Count:

    4 + 1 (Owen)
    = 5

  26. itsinthetrees says:

    My precious angel Cordelia is definitely pretty flat for most of the first season (as are most of the characters, but she and Angel are the biggest stock characters), but at her meanest I find her pretty hilarious, so that's a point on which we just disagree haha. I love mean people! Fictional ones, anyway.

    – connor from tumblr

  27. Karen says:

    I need to open this comment with “Hello, salty goodness” because LOL CORDELIA, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? That you would like to lick him? I DON’T KNOW, BUT I LIKE IT. V’z n ovt Pbeqryvn/Natry fuvccre, fb vqx. V rawbl frrvat n ovg bs fbzrguvat orgjrra gurz rira gubhtu V xabj vg jba’g ghea vagb nalguvat hagvy Natry unf uvf bja frevrf.

    Speaking of Cordelia, vg’f fb uneq frrvat Znex abg yvxr ure evtug abj! V thrff V unir gebhoyr abg frrvat ure guebhtu gur yraf bs gur crefba fur riraghnyyl orpbzrf. Vqx. V whfg ybir ure fb zhpu naq ure punenpgre nep jbhyqa’g or nf vzcerffvir vs fur qvqa’g fgneg ure nf gur arrqyrffyl pehry Zrna Tvey. Ohg nf jr trg gb xabj ure va Ohssl jr frr fur’f zber guna gung, naq gura ba Natry fur’f ernyyl noyr gb pbzr vagb ure bja.

    I appreciate that this episode deals more with how lonely it is to be a Slayer, and it’s also very much about being a high schooler. I laughed pretty hard when Buffy pretended to be into Emily Dickenson. Who among us has not pretended to be interested in something we don’t really care about to get a boy’s attention? … just me? I’m not proud of it, but yeah. I’ve been a dumb teenager before. Anyway, there’s a lot of tension between Giles and Buffy because of her wanting to pursue a normal life and go on a date. Buffy is fighting to be a normal teen, and it almost seems like she’s succeeded when she doesn’t scare Owen off after the incident at the morgue. But then it turns out that Owen is really into all the danger which Buffy knows will only end badly, so she has to end it and be alone again.

    Xander is creepily possessive when he and Willow are there helping her get dressed, but for some reason this scene isn’t as annoying to me as it was in the past few episodes. It still grates though.

    Random lulz of the episode: Giles saying Emily Dickenson is a good poet for an American, Buffy’s shirt that she wears that is like a silk crop top with a target on it, and Buffy has a beeper but not a cell phone (I REALLY DON’T MISS THE 90S).

    Finally, I hve to comment on the evil child trope. I feel like this is DEFINITELY playing into standard horror movie clichés. Erjngpuvat frnfba 1, vg’f fb boivbhf gb zr ubj zhpu frnfba 1 eryvrf ba ubeebe zbivr gebcrf. Ohg V guvax va frnfba 2, gur fubj rfgnoyvfurf vgfrys nf fbzrguvat qrpvqrqyl qvssrerag. Naq V guvax gung qrsvavat zbzrag vf jura ng gur raq bs 2k03, Fcvxr whfg xvyyf gur Naabvagrq Bar yvxr aoq naq fhqqrayl gur fubj vf zber nobhg gur vagrecrefbany eryngvbafuvcf jvgu Fcvxr, Qehfvyyn, Natry naq Ohssl guna vg vf nobhg fbzr qrgnpurq naq zlfgrevbhf Ovt Onq.

    • arctic_hare says:

      "V’z n ovt Pbeqryvn/Natry fuvccre, fb vqx. V rawbl frrvat n ovg bs fbzrguvat orgjrra gurz rira gubhtu V xabj vg jba’g ghea vagb nalguvat hagvy Natry unf uvf bja frevrf."

      Lbh naq zr obgu! Gurl'er zl snibevgr cnvevat sebz rvgure fubj.

    • klmnumbers says:

      bzt, V nz fb rkpvgrq sbe Fcvxr. V YBIR UVZ SBERIRE. V QBA'G RIRA PNER.

      • IceBlueRose says:

        Lbh naq zr obgu! V xrrc tbvat "BZT, VF VG GVZR SBE FCVXR LRG? NER JR NG FRNFBA 2?!" Naq gura V erzrzore gung jr fgvyy unir gur erfg bs frnfba 1, yby. Ohg V'z ybbxvat sbejneq gb Znex'f gubhtugf ba Gur Cnpx naq uvf ernpgvba gb svaqvat bhg gung Natry'f n inzcver, gung'f tbvat gb or njrfbzr.

        …..vf vg gvzr sbe Natry lrg? V arrq gung ernpgvba abj.

        • hpfish13 says:

          Guvf jnf zr orsber V unq jngpurq nal bs Ohssl. Gur svefg rcvfbqr bs Ohssl be Natry V jnfgpurq jnf Fzvyr Gvzr naq V sryy va ybir sebz uvf svefg nccrnenapr va gung rcvfbqr. Nf n erfhyg, V fcrag nyy bs gur rcvfbqrf orsber Fpubby Uneq jbaqrevat "Vf Fcvxr tbvat gb or va guvf rcvfbqr?" Naq gura Fpubby Uneq jnf njrfbzr!

          "V ungr gb oent ohg…..Bu jub nz V xvqqvat, V ybir gb oent!"

          • IceBlueRose says:

            Fcvxr trgf fbzr bs gur orfg yvarf, ernyyl. "V jnf npghnyyl ng Jbbqfgbpx. Ngr n sybjre crefba gura fcrag gur arkg fvk ubhef jngpuva' zl unaq zbir." YBY. Naq "Pbzr ba, yrg'f svtug gung rivy! NEEETU! Bu, jung, pna'g qb vg jvgubhg lbhe cerpvbhf Ohssl? Jryy, yrg'f svaq ure! Sbe gur fnxr bs….chccvrf! Naq Puevfgznf! Bu, pbzr ba!"

            V guvax Znex'f ernpgvba gb uvf eryngvbafuvc gb Qeh vf tbvat gb or fb njrfbzr gbb – Qeh zvtug or pbzcyrgryl va ure bja jbeyq ohg fur gbgnyyl unf nyy gur cbjre va gung eryngvbafuvc, fur'f gbgnyyl tbg Fcvxr jenccrq nebhaq ure svatre.

    • settlingforhistory says:

      Gur shaal guvat vf, orpnhfr bs gur rivy puvyq gebcr V rkcrpgrq gur naablvat jbhyq qb fbzrguvat, yvxr xvyy fbzrbar jvgu uvf gubhtugf, tebj fpnel yvggyr snatf.
      Vafgrnq ur qbrf abguvatu, fvzcyl yrnqf Ohssl gb gur Znfgre naq yngre Fcvxr xvyyf uvz. Vg'f fb shaal jura lbh guvax bs nyy gur cercnengvba gur Znfgre tbrf guebhtu naq gur xvq vf whfg fcbbxl ohg qbrf abguvat ernyyl rivy.

    • cait0716 says:

      V nyfb ernq guvf nf gur byq/arj qrongr. Va gur svefg frnfba gurl znxr guvf rkcyvpvg, jvgu gur Znfgre ercerfragvat genqvgvba naq gur byq jnlf bs qbvat guvatf (jvgu nyy uvf pynffvp ubeebe gebcrf) juvyr Ohssl ercerfragf gur arj jnlf naq vaabingvba naq ershfrf gb qb guvatf uvf jnl. Va gur frpbaq frnfba, rira gur onq thlf tbg ba obneq jvgu gur zbqrea jnl bs qbvat guvatf naq gur ragver fubj orpnzr na nethzrag ntnvafg genqvgvba sbe gur fnxr bs genqvgvba. Ohg gurl qb arrq frnfba 1 gb rfgnoyvfu gung. Lbh pna'g oernx gur ehyrf hagvy lbh xabj jung gurl ner.

    • robin says:

      Nyfb nabgure Pbeqryvn naq Natry fuvccre urer. V srry yvxr vg tbg gur orfg ohvyq hc naq angheny eryngvbafuvc tebjgu bs nal Wbffirefr pbhcyr. V guvax vg'f va… "Unyybjrra"(?) jura Ohssl'f yngr sbe gurve qngr naq Pbeqryvn phgf va, naq vg'f gur svefg gvzr jr frr Natry ybbx erynkrq naq fzvyvat ba gur fubj — njrfbzr, havagraqrq sberfunqbjvat gurer. Gur yvggyr ovgf bs P&N vagrenpgvba va OgIF vagevthr zr, xabjvat jung'f gb pbzr. /snatveyvat

      • Karen says:

        LRFFFF. V YBIR gung fprar va "Unyybjrra". Pbeqryvn naq Natry ner whfg n ybg zber angheny gbtrgure. Rira va gubfr rneyl fprarf va Ohssl jura gurer jnf ab jnl Wbff unq cynaarq nalguvat orgjrra gurz, Punevfzn naq Qnivq whfg unir tbbq purzvfgel. V qba'g ungr Ohssl/Natry, ohg gurl unir n ybg zber onttntr gurer. Natry ivrjf Ohssl nf n flzoby bs uvf erqrzcgvba naq ubcr, ohg yvxr Fcvxr gryyf Ohssl naq Natry va frnfba 3, gurl jrer arire sevraqf. Jvgu Natry naq Pbeql, vg'f whfg gung gurl'er sevraqf svefg. Fur znxrf uvz fzvyr naq znxrf uvz unccl. Gura gurl orpbzr snzvyl. Naq gura Natry ernyvmrf whfg ubj zhpu Pbeql zrnaf gb uvz naq whfg ubj zhpu ur ybirf ure. Ohg orpnhfr Wbff vf n xvyyre bs qernzf, gurl arire trg gb gel gb unir n erny eryngvbafuvc.

        • hpfish13 says:

          WBFF JURQBA!!!!! *Funxrf svfg!*

        • misterbernie says:

          Punevfzn naq Qnivq whfg unir tbbq purzvfgel.

          Jryy, vzb, rirel (znwbe) ebznagvp vagrerfg bs Ohssl'f unq orggre purzvfgel jvgu nalobql ohg ure. Vg'f yvxr gur jevgref pbhyq jevgr angheny, jvggl, punezvat vagrenpgvbaf jvgu nalbar ryfr, ohg abg orgjrra Ohssl naq ure ebznagvp vagrerfgf (guvatf V pna guvax bs evtug abj vf gur Jvyybj/Natry fprar va Yvr Gb Zr naq gur Jvyybj/Evyrl pbaib va… hu… jurer fur gryyf uvz Ohssl yvxrf purrfr naq fur jvyy xvyy uvz vs ur uhegf ure).

    • notemily says:

      Buffy calling Emily Dickinson "Emily Dickens" reminds me of Cher in Clueless. "Do you like Billie Holiday?" "Yeah, I love him!"

      • Neet says:

        Believe it or not, I have a friend in real life who did that. I can't remember why I was talking about Billie Holiday, but my friend (aged about fifteen, maybe) asked "Who's he?" Great friend, but she did make me wonder sometimes.

    • karate0kat says:

      V jvfu fb uneq gung V pbhyq fuvc Pbeqryvn/Natry. Pbeql raqf hc orvat bar bs zl snibevgr punenpgref, naq V ybir Natry, naq V srry yvxr V fubhyq fuvc gurz. Ohg V whfg ybirq gurve sevraqfuvc nf sevraqfuvc naq V gubhtug vg jrag gb n jrveq cynpr jura gurl qrpvqrq vg jnf tbvat gb or ebznapr. Gur npgbef jrer jbaqreshy gbtrgure, ohg gur jevgvat whfg qvqa'g qb vg sbe zr, sbe jungrire ernfba.

      Bs pbhefr, vg qvqa'g uryc gung frnfba 4 jrag gb n penml cynpr va trareny jvgu Pbeqryvn, whfg jura V jnf gelvat gb nqwhfg zl ivrjcbvag.

  28. etherealclarity says:

    One of the things I really love about reading your reviews of things is how very observant you are of details that I know I missed on my first viewings of things, and yet knowing exactly how that is going to pay off for you in the long run. I'm excited to see you get to so many episodes 😀

  29. Genny_ says:

    I think what I love about the fact that Buffy is awkward is that- it makes so much SENSE. I think it's what makes Buffy more of a character than just being a 'okay, so the popular blonde chick in all the horror movies, what if we made her really kickass?' to me. Making her really kickass means taking away her free time and ability to have friends, and means that she has no real experience with a lot of that 'normal' stuff. So the popular-blonde-cheerleader-becomes-a-badass subversion involves actually thinking it through beyond the shallowest level to realise that, hey, just how 'popular' could you really act with all that on your shoulders?

    I love it. I really feel for Buffy as a character, even when you only have a few episodes to go off.

    • tanbarkie says:

      V ybir rira zber jura jr svaq bhg va "Orpbzvat" gung Ohssl JNF n "cbchyne tvey" orsber fur jnf Pubfra. Vg'f abg fb zhpu gung fur arire yrnearq ubj gb vagrenpg jvgu ure crref – vg'f gung ure pnyyvat ERNYYL qvq n ahzore ba ure cflpur, fghagvat ure vagrecrefbany qrirybczrag juvyr fvzhygnarbhfyl ngebculvat vg, naq nyfb tvivat ure n urnil qbfr bs "ERNYVGL OVGRF" whfg sbe gur rkgen vafgn-wnqrqarff.

      Ohssl ernyyl vf gur Puvrs Gleby bs guvf fubj: gur hasbeghangr punenpgre jub vf raqyrffyl fung ba. Gunax gur Ybeqf bs Xboby ure fgbel unf n unccvre raqvat guna Gleby'f.

      • Genny_ says:

        Bu, lrnu- ohg tvira ubj lbhat fur vf, V'q fnl gurer'f fgvyy FBZR fghss fur unfa'g yrnearq? Jura lbh'er n grra, jung vf naq vf abg gur 'evtug' guvat gb qb punatrf irel irel encvqyl naq V guvax gung fur qrsvavgryl unq n pbhcyr guvatf fur'f zvffrq bhg ba fvapr orvat pnyyrq. Fur'f abg bayl fghagrq va ure qrirybczrag, fur'f nyfb xvaq bs… abg gbgnyyl ynpxvat, ohg *oruvaq* ba fbzr yriry.

  30. karate0kat says:

    I was going to comment on this episode, but then I rewatched and saw Cordelia's hair, and now everything is pretty much CRIMPED HAIR CRIMPED HAIR CRIMPED HAIR EXISTED ONCE WHY WAS THIS EVER A THING AND I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT BEG MY MOTHER FOR A CRIMPER IN MIDDLE SCHOOL SHUT YOUR DIRTY LYING MOUTH

  31. Ryan Lohner says:

    The real reason that Angel’s character has been so vague? When they started writing the show, Joss and the other writers literally had no idea at all what his background was. Way to Lost it.

    • arctic_hare says:

      Lbhe svefg yvar jnf abg bayl na rkcrpgngvba fcbvyre, ohg gung avpxanzr pbzrf sebz Fcvxr va Fpubby Uneq, fb V rqvgrq vg bhg.

    • Shay_Guy says:

      Well, it was pitched as "My So-Called Life meets The X-Files." 🙂

    • lawrence_s says:

      Gung jbhyq rkcynva jul va Gur Uneirfg, jura ur fubjf hc oruvaq Ohssl nf fur'f gelvat gb trg vagb gur ghaary, lbh pna pyrneyl frr uvf ersyrpgvba. (Gubhtu lbh jbhyq guvax, rira gura, gurl zvtug unir vg va gurve urnqf gung znlor ur pbhyq or n inzcver, fb yrg'f whfg abg fgvpx uvz va sebag bs nal ersyrpgvir fhesnprf?) Vs Znex cvpxrq hc ba gung, naq nffhzrq n snveyl fgnaqneq inzcver zlgubybtl, ur jbhyq unir npghnyyl ehyrq bhg gur cbffvovyvgl bs Natry orvat n inzcver, rira.

      (Also, rot-13 makes spell check provide some truly hilarious suggestions – it wanted to turn 'Gubhtu' into 'Bathtub', among other things.)

    • notemily says:

      No! His character is vague because he is ~MYSTERIOUS~! Down with Doylist explanations! Watsonian forever! *walks around with signs*

  32. dasmondschaf says:

    -OK, I laughed when Giles popped up from behind a tombstone.

    -PLUNGE and move on; PLUNGE and move on; dying of laughter and it is only the cold open.

    -Jeez Giles! Won't let a girl have a social life, AND you won't let her improve her mind (even if she just wants to read Dickinson in order to get the cute broody bookwormy boy)

    -Wow, kale in 1997! I didn't even know what kale was until, like, 2007.

    -Cordelia, you continue to be perfect.

    -After the not-good of Teacher's Pet, I am pleased to see an at least passingly more realistic depiction of high school romance, complete with awkward on all parts.

    -oh my god buffy what is that tiger-print fuzzy hoodie-snuggy you are wearing AND WHY DO I WANT ONE.


    -OK, done capslocking about bad 90's fashion.

    -Worst airport shuttle ride ):

    -Xander, BE QUIET gee what is your major malfunction.

    -Giles, your car is perfection. Giles, you could really use some sort of slayer of vampires to help you, eh?


    -Poor Owen, he's trying so hard to process all this information. He just wants to go write poetry in a graveyard or something.

    -Oh wow, first season lighting budget so small, I cannot really see what is happening.

    -HAHAHAHA oh the look on my face when Giles slid out the corpse cooler.

    -I feel like you really should not be able to turn on the crematorium while the door is open. That's an OSHA violation waiting to happen.

    -OWEN D:


    -oh good, owen you aren't dead.

    -And you aren't even scared away forever! It's because you're totally DARK 'N' EDGY and have some sort of adrenaline addiction.

    -I love when Giles gives speeches to Buffy.

    -Every horror series needs an evil child!

    "Gur guvat vf, Tvyrf whfg bcrayl npprcgrq uvf sngr, fb vg’f sehfgengvat sbe uvz gb frr Ohssl svtug ntnvafg vg."

    Un un un, "bcrayl npprcgrq uvf sngr" zl nff; V pnaabg jnvg hagvy jr trg gb fbzr Tvyrf onpxfgbel.

  33. beckaboomer says:

    I really enjoy this episode, and I remember that this was where I really started to love Buffy as a character. Yes, she's a teenage girl with issues of her own, but she really handles the whole Owen situation maturely by turning him down.

    Love how Giles, Xander and Willow all try desperately to cover for Buffy's secret identity… especially Giles the Super Librarian. "You'll have a hefty fine in the morning!" Willow and Xander's clinging to each other in the Bronze was cute, too.

    Also, Angel and his Brooding Forehead of Broodiness crack me up so hard in this season. Oh Boreanaz, I wish I knew how to quit you.

  34. buyn says:

    I think we need to record a bunch of monks singing a musical arrangement of the Mark Does Stuff theme song. They can just repeat, "You Are Not Prepared," in a half chant half song, and it can play in the background as we read these reviews.

    Of course I'm mostly kidding.

    I like this episode, because it kind of shows, that even Giles gets stuff wrong sometimes. Which means you have to be ready for everything.

    • sporkaganza93 says:

      Would that be to the tune of the Buffy theme? That would totally work.

      • tanbarkie says:

        *wolf howl*

        Soooo… un… pre… paaaarrred

        *guitar scratch*
        *drum fill*

        Yoooooou're not prepaaaaaaaared
        Yoooooou're not prepaaaaaaaared
        Yoooooou're not prepaaaaaaaared
        Yoooooou're not prepaaaaaaaared

        (It's) haaaaaaaaard to belieeeeeeeeeve
        Just howwwwww

        Unnnnnnprepaaaaared youuuuuu
        Aaaaaaarrrreeee foooooorrrrrrrrr
        Thiiiiisssss shooowwwwwww



    • Brian Fowler says:

      There is actually something called the Buffy Paradigm, a serious piece of homeland security theory, based on the idea int he show of the characters not actually being ready for the threats they face, because they are never exactly the way the books say they should, and how that applies to terrorism, biological warfare, etc. The idea being, no matter how prepared we try to be, you can't be totally prepared for something like that, because you don't actually know how the attack will actually happen until it does.

      As I understand it, the guy who wrote it, Andrew Cordesman happened to catch a couple episodes of the show with his daughters, and suddenly he understood how to frame the argument.

  35. tigerpetals says:

    From the pilot and Witch, I get the impression Buffy used to have friends and an active role in the school. But trying to have such a life as a Slayer makes her socially awkward. It's hard to explain things smoothly so she needs to learn social graces all over again if she wants to look good in front of those who don't know her secrets.

    Owen…at first he seemed nice. Interested because Buffy showed that he was interested in things he liked on top of being attractive. On the other hand he seems to assume that girly girls are frivolous, but maybe he doesn't interact with them often. This also made me think of why he didn't try Willow before. The generous interpretation is he needs to be chased. But deciding that what made Buffy interesting is that he gets to do dangerous things if he follows her around, means that he's not interested in her, so that sucks. Buffy is too good for him, even if that's not how she believes it is.

    I love Buffy's giant slurpie and tiger hoodie.

    Also I think Borba was bait. So Buffy would go after him (especially because he spouted religious stuff like Luke did) and think she had won. But I don't remember if I ever noticed that before.

  36. Shay_Guy says:

    I have to wonder how much Buffy and Animorphs (which started about a year before) influenced each other on the whole "wake up, go to school, save the world" thing.

  37. Smurphy says:

    OK. FIRST OF ALL. Where are all the Angel/Buffy gifs?


    Was this episode the first one without the opening thingamabob?

    The master… lol forever. "And one of the Brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate. Oh, wait… That's not written anywhere."

    I love all the 90s school cafeteria lunches.

    *TIME MACHINE REFERENCE* Buffy needs the Doctor to save her date.

    Is there a list somewhere of all the ridiculous 90s stuff? Buffy's coat for one.

    …and then the bus scene makes it hokey again…

    …and then Buffy yells at random guys at school. <3

    "I thought I was the only one that happened to" OWEN! Marry me?

    Xander getting upset about the date and Buffy being clueless… Angel getting upset about the date and Buffy being clueless…

    MORE OWEN LOVE. I love that he stands up for her.

    Buffy telling Owen no. I get it but it still makes me sad.

    The speech she gives Giles about him and Xander and Willow knowing what's going on and being careful (erm… this is the 5th episode? It annoys me when a show does this….says things that makes the characters seem like they are life long friiends when they have known each other for maybe a few months?

    And Giles in the end… I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS.

    So… I was 9 the first time I watched these and I have seen most of the episodes since again but the progression of the early big bads is jumbled in my head AND I FORGOT THIS WAS THE BIG BAD WITH THE KID! Totally caught me off guard.

    In regards to your comments.

    "How on earth could she do that and also keep her Slayer side a secret? See, I’m already imagining her having to sneak out in the middle of the night, constantly canceling dates, making up bizarre reasons to disappear…damn, this is just unfair." Vzzrqvngryl gubhtug bs gur ortvaavat bs ure eryngvbafuvc jvgu Evyrl.

    • hpfish13 says:

      Guvf vf cerpvfryl jurer zl zvaq jrag gbb!

    • nanceoir says:

      It annoys me when a show does this….says things that makes the characters seem like they are life long friiends when they have known each other for maybe a few months?

      I'm reminded of this line from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: "There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them."

      I think it's safe to add slaying vampires and saving each other from evil witches and praying-mantises-in-the-form-of-teachers to that list.

      • Smurphy says:

        Good quote… and I know… I guess va gur fpbcr bs nyy gur fuvg gung unccraf va gur fubj… gur fpbbol tnat vf abg cercnerq. … although I guess that same logic can be equated with that wonderful line of Rowling's.

  38. Stephen_M says:

    Do really like this episode but by far my favourite component is the growing Giles / Buffy relationship. Poor guy just trying to do his job and keep their secret identies, well, secret and Buffy being so very very not in tune with those goals.. But by far the best is him finding out WAY more than he wants to know about Buffy's social life and doing his best to give her the right advice in a very fatherly sorta way. Plus ASH is just awesome and gives the worlds best snark 😀

  39. Sophi says:

    V whfg erjngpurq Gur Obql gbqnl naq vg nofbyhgryl qrfgeblrq zr (rfcrpvnyyl fvapr guvf gvzr ynfg lrne V jnf svaqvat bhg zl zhz unq pnapre naq unq orra xvaq bs grneshy nyy qnl). V fboorq yvxr n onol, ohg vg'f bar bs zl snibhevgr rcvfbqrf sbe ubj gurl qrny jvgu vg.

    Juvyfg gelvat abg gb fbhaq fnqvfgvp naq pehry, V nofbyhgryl pna'g jnvg sbe Znex gb jngpu vg! Vg'f fb jryy qbar–gur hfr bs fvyrapr vf fb cresrpg, sbe bar guvat–naq fnq naq gehr. nfqafqs;fs bayl…ntrf gb tb?

    • MandaCookie says:

      Aye, the anticipation is killing me, too. I want to see him react to so many things later on in the show. But I'm trying to keep it small for now. Ur whfg arrqf gb trg gb Ohssl'f "V qba'g jnag gb qvr" fcrrpu va Cebcurpl Tvey. Vg jvyy bayl tb hc sebz gurer.

    • Kari18212 says:

      Nterrq ba gelvat gb xrrc vg sbphfrq ba trggvat gb Cebcurpl Tvey (be gur erirny nobhg Natry) sbe abj, ohg HTU GUR OBQL 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 Nyy gur grnef 🙁

      Nyfb, fbeel nobhg lbhe zbz Fbcuv 🙁 Zl qnq qvrq nyzbfg gjb lrnef ntb bs pnapre naq, nygubhtu V unir pevrq rirel gvzr V unir rire jngpurq Gur Obql, nsgre gung vg jnf evqvphybhf. Ohg va fbzr jnlf, ernyyl pngunegvp, fb V ubcr vg jnf gung sbe lbh gbb!

      • Sophi says:


        Vg jnf ernyyl pngunegvp 🙂 Zl zhz jnf pnhtug rneyl, fb fur unq gb tb guebhtu gerngzrag, ohg fur'f fgvyy jvgu hf. Vg'f gur fubpx V ernyyl vqragvsl jvgu va gur rcvfbqr; jura Ohssl fgnegf urnevat gur ebnevat abvfr, gur "ABG FHCCBFRQ GB ZBIR GUR OBQL", gur vafgnag grnef nsgre npghnyyl fnlvat vg, gung nyy evatf gehr sbe zr naq V guvax vg'f whfg n ernyyl jryy qbar rcvfbqr va trareny.

        • Kari18212 says:

          lnl V'z tynq lbhe zbz vf bxnl 🙂 naq, lrf, qrsvavgryl gung rcvfbqr qbrf n terng wbo fubjvat gur fubpx naq pbashfvba lbh srry jura fbzrguvat njshy yvxr gung unccraf. Cyhf Naln'f fcrrpu nyjnlf qrfgeblrq zr 🙁

          • Sophi says:

            Bu pevxrl, lrf, gung'f jura gur grnef fgneg sbe zr rirel gvzr, fur'f yvxr gur pbashfrq yvggyr puvyq va nyy bs hf gung whfg syvcf vagb "ohg V qba'g…" trne.

            "Orpnhfr V qba'g haqrefgnaq, naq abobql jvyy gryy zr"

            :[ Naln <3

  40. core013 says:

    Crap! I've been without internet for weeks and didn't even know you had started Buffy! Gotta go get caught up!!

  41. I haven't commented since the pilote because I have so much to say but will never take a risk to spoil you.

    Just so you know that I have so much fun reading you. All your reactions, bad or good, all your questions.
    Because, OMG, you're just starting the ride !!!! 😉

    And this : "WHO ARE YOU ANGEL." This, is what I'm waiting for…. Impatiently. 🙂

  42. The_Consultant says:

    So I signed up for a propper account thingy. I normally never comment (have been lurking on and off since HP) but I just seem to have so many thoughts/memories about Buffy that I want to share. So here are today's random thoughts in no particular order:

    -Yay! the Owen episode! (I've always thought 'Never Kill a Boy on the First Date' was a bit of a mouthful)

    -Fun fact that is irrelevant to everything: My sister and I still refer to this acter as Owen whenever we see him in something. He has croped up in a lot of random TV shows over the years.

    -I've always loved this episode. I love the humor created by everyone trying to keep Buffy's secret from Owen and him just being constantly confused (for such an intilectual he seems a bit slow on the uptake) I especially love the secene where everyone shows up in the Bronze.

    -So many great lines in this episode, I'm tempted to quote great chunkes of it but that wouldn't make for a very substantive comment…

    -I want a button which says 'I'm a slayer, ask me how!' are these a thing? because they should be a thing.

    -I love the creepy vampire, 'I will suck the blood from your hearts, HE SAYS I MAY!' classic. It must have been such a fun role to play.

    -This is another great one for 90's fashion, although I do rember thinking Buffy's giant tiger jacket was ridiculous even when I first saw this episode.

    -does anyone else wish that all of Buffy's t-shirts/dresses where about 2 inches longer?

    -Cordelia with the crimped hair. Why? Also I should totally start saying 'hello salty goodness' when I see atractive people.

    -I always get a bit bored watching the last scene and end up counting how many times the extra in the orange coat walkes past them and up the stairs…

  43. Rayne says:

    I'm just going to be sitting over here snuggling with my 90s fashion because it feels so comfy. I wonder if I still have my crimper. Hmmmm.

    And awww… "As it is written, so shall it be." brings back so many memories! That was my website motto!

    It's so weird what I'm discovering about Buffy fandom from reading these comments. I always thought Xander was a fan favorite, but he seems to be severely disliked here!

    • sporkaganza93 says:

      I doubt that the opinion of Xander on this site reflects the viewpoint of the entire Buffy fandom.

    • robin says:

      Fandom's opinion of these characters is something you really need the entire 7 seasons to address. What your'e getting here is people's reactions to Xander, Buffy, Willow, Cordelia, Angel etc on an episode to episode basis, and also only 5 episodes in. So that complicates matters. 🙂

      • RoseFyre says:

        Not really. The Xander-haters are among the people who have watched all of the show, though definitely not ALL of them. In fact, I've seen the whole show, and they're starting to annoy me.

    • RoseFyre says:

      Xander inspires differing opinions, I guess.

      I, myself, am a "everyone is awesome" person, and I don't have any set ships, which maybe makes me more open to liking everyone? Whatever, Xander has issues, but he's still awesome. Naq vs gurer vf ungr jura ur FNIRF OHSSL'F YVSR va Cebcurpl Tvey, V jvyy or fb sernxvat cvffrq bss lbh qb abg rira xabj.

      • Rob M says:

        All of this.

        Orgjrra "Cebcurpl Tvey", gur ebpxrg ynhapure, naq uvf fcrrpu gb Qnja va… jnf vg "Cbgragvny"? V qba'g rira zvaq gur Knaqre/Pbeqryvn ebznapr pbafvqrevat fur gerngf uvz whfg nf onqyl nf ur gerngf ure zbfg bs gur gvzr (rkpyhqvat, boivbhfyl, gur jubyr "nyzbfg qlvat" guvat va "Ybire'f Jnyx").

        Gura ntnva, V znl whfg or pbybherq ol pregnva snasvp nhgubef univat qbar n zhpu orggre wbo bs jevgvat Knaqre guna gur npghny fubj qvq ng gvzr…

  44. yogirl98 says:

    No, I'm behind!! I've been waiting for what I'm sure has been all my life for Mark to start watching Buffy, but I haven't been able to check the site in the last several days because my internet's been down *I wish technology was my friend* looks like I've got some catching up to do this weekend.

  45. feminerdist says:

    I have to say it: Crimped hair! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Oh god the 90s…

    Though I totally didn't see the thing with the kid at the end coming. I like it.

  46. nanceoir says:

    This episode leaves me with one question: WHY DON'T I HAVE MY OWN PERSONAL GILES IN MY LIFE?

    This is a flaw and needs fixed.

    Oh, Giles, you are my favorite forever.

  47. MandaCookie says:

    Gur qenzngvp vebal urer vf xvyyvat zr. V haqrefgnaq abj jung crbcyr zrna jura gurl fnl gurl unir n uneq gvzr abg fcvyyvat rirelguvat.

    Bronze music… I didn't listen to anything that crappy in… ever. Ohg V erzrzore Ovs Anxrq naq Zvpuryyr Oenapu rnpu cresbezvat. Yhpxl vf fhpu n terng fbat, rira gbqnl.

    "I seriously don’t get who [Angel] is and why he only acts as a really shitty and vague informant."
    This line had me rolling.

  48. robin says:

    Though on the surface there's nothing exciting plotwise, the win in this episode is definitely the dialogue. So many great comedic moments and fun word-play.

    Also amusing is Buffy's clear type — brooding, stalkery*, and morbid. We may need to face it guys — Buffy would have loooooooooooved Edward Cullen. lololol. (*hello, following her after their date was over)

    The only real flaw is the business they've crafted for Cordelia — I feel like the writers had to push her out of character in order to include her in this episode, because Owen is absolutely not her type. It comes off weird and forced to have her chasing Owen at all, then "coincidentally" at the same time as Buffy is trying to hook up with him. Sloppy. I would have preferred to keep her on the sidelines in this episode, only using her where it fits. (Fun to see Angel and Cordelia finally cross paths, though.)

  49. xpanasonicyouthx says:


  50. sporkaganza93 says:

    I like that your reaction to Angel is the same as Buffy's. Kinda crushing on him, but also going "Jesus, why aren't you helping? You're just following around and giving really generic warnings and shit."

    Also, I really liked the twist at the end, that the Anointed One is actually a kid.

  51. Britt says:

    Has he noticed that The Master is Niedermeyer from "Animal House"? That's always fun when it lands. 🙂

  52. Raenef says:

    Gur "Jub ner lbh Natry" pbzzragf cbvagvat bhg gung gurer jvyy or fbzrguvat nobhg Natry SRRYF QNATREBHFYL RKCRPGNGVBAF FCBVYREL. Rirelbar fuuuuu nobhg uvz V jnag gb frr ubj Znex ernpgf vs ur qbrfa'g fhfcrpg n guvat :B

    • Gur jnl V frr vg vf, vg vf abg n fcbvyre gb vzcyl gung gurer vf fbzrguvat hc jvgu Natry. Bs pbhefr gurer vf fbzrguvat hc jvgu Natry. Ur vf zlfgrevbhf, naq jr qb abg xabj jung uvf ebyr vf. Boivbhfyl, ng fbzr cbvag, cre gur onfvp ehyrf bs fgbelgryyvat vgfrys, jr jvyy svaq bhg jub ur vf naq jung uvf qrny vf. Vg jbhyq or zber bs n fcbvyre gb vzcyl gung jr arire svaq bhg naq ur erznvaf pelcgvp naq abg n erny punenpgre sbe nyy gvzr be ur qvrf naq jr arire frr uvz ntnva, obgu bs juvpu Znex xabjf ner hagehr orpnhfr ur vf njner gung ur trgf uvf bja fubj riraghnyyl.

      • RoseFyre says:

        Gubhtu vg pbhyq or uvf bja fubj gung gryyf bs uvf uvfgbel – V zrna, qhqr, ur jnf nebhaq sbe 240 lrnef orsber ur zrg Ohssl – ohg V guvax gurer'f orra rabhtu uvagvat gung Znex xabjf vg'f shgher. Bu jryy.

        • tanbarkie says:

          Vg jbhyq or gur terngrfg snxr-bhg Wbff rire chyyrq vs "Natry" jnf npghnyyl nobhg pryrfgvny orvatf, naq gur punenpgre bs Natry qbrfa'g npghnyyl nccrne.

          Npghnyyl, abj V jnag gb frr Wbff Jurqba'f gnxr ba "Uvf Qnex Zngrevnyf."

  53. todd says:

    He's an FBI Agent who works with a paleo-anthropologist to solve murders. Obviously.

    You know what I love so, so much about season 1? It's Buffy vs. religion. The Master is all about text and ceremony and Judgment Day, and he's in an old church that got swallowed into the Hellmouth (exposited in ep2), and ur qerffrf hc nf n cevrfg gb ghea Qneyn. It's super intentional. And then there's Buffy, the female against the patriarchy of religion, who talks in slang and disregards ceremony and doesn't get way extracuricular about reading. The vampire she faced in this ep was demonstrative (pun intended) of the Master's metaphor, not just because he was spouting some pretty heavy and off-beat religious ramblings, but also for his insistence that Buffy is weak because she's a girl.

    Oh, and speaking of metaphors? Buffy thinks her Slayer life interferes with her normal life, so she tries to emphasize her normal life a little (Owen). But then her normal life mixes with her Slayer duties, and her normal life is "killed" which is her biggest fear.

    Also: Xander pulling a peeping tom was so freaking gross.

    • todd says:

      Forgot to mention how much I hate (as in fascinatedly fear) small devil children? I am more afraid of sociopathic children than anything else, so from this ep forward, this show turned into a horrorfest. Oh god, his creepy staring eyes and his little hands – ahhh!!!!!!!!! *hides behind couch*

    • notemily says:

      He's an FBI Agent who works with a paleo-anthropologist to solve murders. Obviously.

      I would love to get Brennan all up in this show. "The idea that a body could turn to dust instantaneously is illogical! Bodies take years and years to turn to dust. I should know."

  54. fantasylover120 says:

    I have a fondness for this ep. It's when stuff starts to get real (hey there creepy little Annointed One), and it realistically portrays the problem of being a Slayer and a teenager at the same time. Honestly I've always wondered why is the Slayer a TEENAGER? Wouldn't it be more helpful if she was in her twenties or something? Less hormones and more of a chance that outsiders would take you seriously. But I guess that wouldn't make as interesting a story either.
    Mark I'm shocked. You didn't like Cordelia's 90s Barbie hair? (yes, this is sarcasm for those trying to tell)
    Daily Buffy quotable: "If the apocalypse comes. Beep me."-Buffy (isn't it adorable that they still have beepers?)

    • @liliaeth says:

      V'z guvaxvat vg'f zber gung grrantref ner rnfvre gb pbageby. Nf jr fnj svefg jvgu Xraqen naq gura va gung rc jurer gur Jngpure'f pbhapvy 'grfgrq' ure, gurl qba'g ernyyl jnag na nqhyg Fynlre. gurl jnag n lbhat tvey jub'f dhvrg, borqvrag naq qbrf jung ure Jngpure gryyf ure gb. Juvpu vf cebonoyl gur fnzr ernfba jul gur fynlre vf nyjnlf srznyr, vg jnf cebonoyl pbafvqrerq rnfvre gb pbageby n lbhat jbzna, guna vg jbhyq or gb pbageby n lbhat zna.

      Jryy gung naq gur snpg gung onpx jura gur svefg fynlre jnf pnyyrq, orvat n grrantre, cerggl zhpu zrnag gur tvey jnf na nqhyg, naq fur jnf cebonoyl pnyyrq orsber fur tbg zneevrq, ba checbfr, gb xrrc ure sebz univat xvqf naq na bhgfvqr yvsr gung pbhyq zrff jvgu ure jbex nf n Fynlre. Abg gung vg jbhyq nyjnlf unir jbexrq, (frr Avxxv Jbbq) ohg fgvyy…

      • notemily says:

        Ooh, interesting theory. V gubhtug vg nyfb unq fbzrguvat gb qb jvgu orvat lbhat naq fgebat naq va crnx culfvpny pbaqvgvba. Onpx orsber grrantref unq gb tb gb uvtu fpubby, gurer jnfa'g nf zhpu bs n qvivqvat yvar orgjrra grra naq nqhyg, lbh'er evtug.

  55. Brian Fowler says:

    So so not prepared.

  56. misterbernie says:

    Oh Mark, you are not prepared.
    …huh, rot13 doesn't like umlauts. Booo.

    I liked this episode, and still do! It feels like a real, proper Buffy episode.
    Owen, so cute and so stupid.

    Geoff Meed as Borba may have helped cement my ~thing~ for bulky tattooed guys don't judge me I can hear you judging through the internet

    Hello, creepy kid V pnaabg jnvg sbe Fcvxr gb xvyy lbh ubeevoyl naq qryvpvbhfyl nagvpyvzngvpnyyl.

    Also, reading through the other comments makes me realise (again) what a Bad Gay I am for not even registering the fashion stuff. "Huh, I guess that is an atrocious thing."

  57. karadudz says:

    SO I've been rewatching these episodes along with Mark and I was wondering…. Does anyone else think it's a little odd that the vampires from the cemetery seem to come out of their hole really quickly? You know… What happened to SIX FEET UNDERGROUND?

    ALSO…. I love the fact that this show put the slayer in the "rejects"/"nerds"/"weirdos" clique in high school. You're right if she was as popular as she was with the vampire slaying world, the show wouldn't be as fun. =D

  58. kaleidoscoptics says:

    Hah, man, I forgot how completely useless Angel is. WAY TO SHOW UP AND BE MYSTERIOUS AND THEN NOT DO ANYTHING.

  59. MidnightLurker says:


  60. misterbernie says:

    Oh, also

    Don't let underage messiahs drive.

  61. Brian Fowler says:

    Oh, btw, I had totally forgotten about Buffy's Tiger hoodie coat until I rewatched the episode, and, I gotta tell you, if I ever meet a woman wearing that, I might propose on the spot.

  62. Kari18212 says:

    So, all the discussion about Buffy's terrible fashion and Cordelia's bad hair (agreed on all counts by the way) and no one I've seen has mentioned Xander's super weird shiny shirt with the blue and green dots all over it…. Bothered me the whole time I was watching lol although the blue tie dye shirt Buffy was wearing was definitely worse, she just wasn't wearing it as long 🙂

  63. lyvanna says:

    – Oh Owen, how I love you "I'll see you in math… if I open my eyes at some point". He's just so deep y'know? Also, he has Owenosity.
    – Cordelia, "you mean besides me?" should be her catchphrase. That or 'hello salty goodness'
    – Poor bus driver.
    – Buffy's tie-dye cropped shirt. I can't deal.
    – I go back and forth over Xander in this episode. It sucks to see the person you're crushing on going out with someone else and not even thinking of you in that way, so in some scenes I feel bad for him. Then he goes and starts being icky by peeping on Buffy when she's changing and telling Owen that Buffy doesn't like to be touched.
    – Willow and Xander are terrible at barricading doors. A lampshade and a cushion?!

    Hugely quotable episode so here are some of my favourites.

    Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was…
    Owen: I thought I was the only one that happened to.

    Buffy: Where do you suppose young kids go on dates these days?
    Willow: Well, I read somewhere once that sometimes they go to movies.
    Buffy: Movies! Interesting!
    Willow: And I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a party.
    Buffy: Wow! I never knew being a teenager was so full of possibilities!

    (Xander and Willow crash the date)
    Owen: They show up everywhere. Interesting.

    (Giles crashes the date)
    Owen: Man, you really care about your job.

    Giles: When I said you could slay Vampires and have a social life I didn't mean at the same time!

  64. christytrekkie says:

    I so love you and you're reactions to this one of my favorite shows. Again you make me feel like a kid in a candy store who has already sampled all the tasty goodness watching my best friend enjoy them for the first time. It's exhilarating.

  65. vermillioncity says:

    I kind of feel like that is expectation-spoilery…

  66. seekingoutfriday says:

    aslkefjkdlsfjkdsjf OMG YOU ARE WATCHING BUFFY! This is my number one shower ever! I am so excited!

  67. valmarkont says:

    Oh hi, everyone! Oh hi, Mark!

    I discovered this page by sheer luck via Whedonesque on your first day of watching. So I did my little bit to help overload the server as well.

    Anyway, since it happened exactly on the right time, I decided to do a bit of blogging of my own and post my own comments on the day Mark does the post about the next episode. Of course, my viewing experience is somewhat different as I have seen the show several times before. I am not giving the link to my blog right now as I'm blogging in Estonian, my native language, and I doubt there are many of those here who can understand that. Still, it occurred to me that maybe I should do summaries in English at the end of each season. We'll see when it comes to that.

    So far it seems to me that my opinions tend to somewhat differ from the general consensus on this site. I, for example, think that Teacher's Pet is actually the strongest script of the show so far, even if the execution might have been a bit ridiculous. I also think that the current episode is somewhat weaker than previous two, because although it advances the overall plot I find Owen's character to be quite dull. And Owen, of course, is much bigger part of the plot than The Master.

    I'm also intrigued you're going to read The Lord of the Rings and a bit sad that I missed the Hobbit. Regarding LOTR: Qbrf nalbar xabj jung Znex vf tbvat gb or erivrjvat gbzbeebj? V'z thrffvat cebybthr rira gubhtu vg'f zvtugl obevat va zl bcvavba? V'z nffhzvat ur qbrf abg fxvc gur cebybthr naq tb fgenvtug gb Puncgre Bar?

    I cannot vouch I won't use any of the unwanted words here because English is not my first language (as you already know) and some expressions and words pop into mind more easily than others. But I will do my best to avoid them.

  68. monkeybutter says:

    I agree with vermillioncity, so I deleted this.

  69. Dee says:

    To me Buffy ultimately turns down Owen because she desperately wanted him to like her for her 'normal teenage girl' self and not her badass and complicated other life. She is still trying to compartmentalise her two sides and, even though she's almost realising its turning out to be abit of a lost cause, she's still fighting to keep that side of her.

    At least that's my interpretation.

    And to think this is only season 1! Mark is so not prepared.

  70. Andie says:

    I feel like I should preface my comment by saying that I've been creeping around Mark Reads & Mark Watches since the times of Mark Reads Twilight, and I don't think I've ever actually commented before. So my bad.

    Anyway, I find this fascinating. I'm 23. I started watching Buffy when it first started airing. At that point, I was, what, 8? I wish I could remember what it felt like to watch this for the first time. I wish I'd had a brain developed to the point where I could actually understand the full impact of everything that was going on.

    I think I watched the first season or two before I stopped, for whatever reason. And I didn't start watching again until bar bs zl sevraqf tbg ba gur fpubby ohf naq terrgrq zr jvgu, "Ohssl unq frk jvgu Fcvxr!" at which point I promptly started watching again and fell in love with the show completely. And now I can't stop anticipating what I'll read when we get to the reviews for all the important episodes. I'm so impatient. I AM VIBRATING WITH EXCITEMENT.

  71. Ashes says:

    I adore this show, and am loving your recaps. I cannot wait to read your reactions to the rest of this season, and the ones to come. I think you will love it, and be so surprised!

  72. Zoli says:

    Huh. Maybe I should go back and actually watch this episode– I skipped over it in my first viewing because my friends said it was forgettable and not that interesting. Seems like stuff actually happened.

  73. mike13z50 says:

    "Owen framed his interest in her as a way for him to improve his life at her expense. That’s kind of a shitty thing to do, don’t you think? I was impressed that the show immediately said, “NO. NOPE. NOT HAPPENING.” So much in fiction, we see how the men in the story get to “grow” and “feel alive” through the women, and this entire storyline is amputated right from the start."

    That is such an astute observation.

  74. Jimi says:

    Not sure if anybody mentioned this or not – but you keep having questions about what life was like before Buffy moved to Sunnydale. The series mostly picks up where the movie left off… If you watch the movie, you get to see how she lived, what kind of person she was… how she found out she was the slayer.. all of that stuff. It's not really necessary for the show's story.. but it will answer your questions.. granted Buffy will be Kristy Swanson.. but.. I'm sure you'll be able to get over that.

  75. ladysugarquill says:

    V arire xarj gurer jnf n gvzr jurer jr qvqa'g xabj jub Natry jnf KQ

    Also, I love how we are all OMG 90s CLOTHES WHAT

  76. flootzavut says:


    That is all.

  77. sesinkhorn says:

    I seriously don’t get who he is and why he only acts as a really shitty and vague informant. WHO ARE YOU ANGEL.

    HAHAHAHAHA Oh god it's so, so true.

  78. Ellie says:

    just watched this ep (tottaly behind lol ill catch up) and it looks like xander was peeping at buffy with the mirror? i had been feeling kinda sympathetic for him (though his OOC fantasy of buffy was annoying) but now hes just being a creep!

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