In the third episode of the third series of Doctor Who, the Doctor takes Martha billions of years into the future to New Earth, where they discover that most of the city is trapped in the worst case of gridlock imaginable. When Martha is kidnapped, it triggers an adventure that leads the Doctor to his final visit with the Face of Boe, who shares with him an unbelievable secret. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Doctor Who.

Straight up, this might be one of my favorite non-mythology episodes of Doctor Who so far. (Though….do the last five minutes make this a mythology episode? Whatever.) Russell T Davies wrote a fantastic script WITH PRETTY MUCH NO PLOTHOLES (!!!!!!!!!) that not only deals with a realistic, immersive environment, but adds quite a few emotionally important scenes for the vast set of characters present in “Gridlock.” Again, broken record, but I love ensemble casts and this episode has a wide assortment of characters to grace the screen, including the actor who play FATHER DOUGAL MCGUIRE ON FATHER TED OH MY GOD I WAS SO EXCITED.

Ok. Ok. BREATHE.

I was wary of the Doctor visiting the same place as he had with Rose and I’m still unsure why he chose to go to New Earth. (Did he actually choose or did the TARDIS choose for him? I’m still not sure about the mechanics of that either.) I understand why Martha seems to get so upset about how much the Doctor references Rose, even though I also understand why the Doctor can’t help but do so. I think it’s a tough situation for both of them, and a lot of what “Gridlock” does is to help them both move forward from the past. WHILE IN THE FUTURE. Eh? Eh? Ok, I’ll stop.

New Earth is not what it was like the last time we saw it, as we’re introduced to a world where the Undercity of New York is mainly deserted and barren, with only a few straggling citizens left wandering about. The Doctor is confused by not only this, but the method in which citizens control their moods via drug-releasing patches. Things only get more confusing and hectic when Martha is kidnapped right in front of the Doctor and taken to a mysterious flying car. Well…I mean, she is kidnapped, despite what Milo and Cheen tell Martha, that they’re not really kidnapping her. (FYI: jesus christ Milo is so hot WHAT) They took her against her will, drugged her, and plan on keeping her in their flying car for up to SIX YEARS. SIX YEARS.

My brain couldn’t handle that revelation. Six years? To travel just 10 miles? WHY?

The image of the Doctor standing at the edge of the Motorway, coughing and staring in horror at what New Earth had become, is among my favorites of the show. Like a lot of Doctor Who episodes, the writers seem to be inspired by a single idea or image that’s intriguing and I can totally imagine Russell T Davies wondering how he could write a script around the idea of the world becoming locked in an eternal gridlock.

Not only does he pull that off, but the manner in which he does allows us to be introduced to a whole cast of interesting characters. The Doctor gets invited into the hover van of Thomas Kincade Brannigan, one of those cat-humans we’d last seen in “New Earth.” It’s also the first scene of David Tennant playing with kittens and then my brain explodes from the cute overload and somehow I wish they could work in a basket of kittens into every Doctor Who episode and I’m going to shut up now.

Even with reduced screen time from everyone involved, it seems we get complete portraits of the characters the Doctor interacts with in his quest to locate the hover van that Rose MARTHA is in. From a married couple to aliens to people living their lives in their vehicles for many, many years, having the Doctor jump from van to van was a fantastic way to show the varied population left on New Earth. I think the emotional moments are what help ground the show and this episode in particular does it quite well. But even then, that’s not to suggest the fantastical story suffers at all; I was impressed with the large scope of the CGI used here, from animating the hover vans to the kind-of-terrifying Macra that littered the surface underneath the fast lane. (I would say that the only “hole” I can find in the story, which might be a misunderstanding on my part, is that I don’t get how the Macra ended up on the surface of the Undercity. I get everything else, but this didn’t seem clear to me.)

The thing is, though, that there was something else hovering over the entire story. I was interested and intrigued by the snapshot of a community left to sit in an eternal traffic jam. The characters were interesting, I loved seeing Martha interact with her kidnappers, and it’s always great to watch the Doctor’s brain work in overdrive. But early in this episode, we see Novice Hame and THE FACE OF BOE. And the Face of Boe had promised that if he saw the Doctor a third time, it would be his last and he would reveal his secret to him. I’m sorry that I couldn’t help but be unbearably excited about this.

Turns out that the entire story hinged so desperately to the Face of Boe. When the Bliss drug mutated and became an airborne virus that wiped out the city, he was the one who wired himself to the system that sealed the Motorway, creating the endless traffic jam. It’s not what I expected, as I thought the situation had a much more sinister purpose. (The Macra contributed to that, which still makes me wonder how on earth they got there.)

In an instance of pure, altruistic sacrifice, the Face of Boe gives his life energy to give the system power to unseal the Motorway. As the hover vans see sunlight for the first time in many years, some for the very first time, they spill out into New New York, flooding the skyline in every direction, free from the gridlock. Definitely one of the better moments of this whole show, I’d say.

Back at Senate, when Martha returns to the Doctor, the Doctor tries to dispel the rumor that the Face of Boe will share his secret before he dies and insists that since they are both the last of their kind, they must persevere and live. However, the Face of Boe ignores this to utter the secret with his final breath:

“You are not alone.”

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WHAT THE HOLY LIVING FUCK. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT!!!!!!

I can’t. I CANNOT. HOW. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE DOCTOR IS NOT THE LAST TIME LORD. The Doctor quickly tries to pass this off as no big deal, but, like me, Martha is not buying it. I was really satisfied with the scene where Martha grabs that chair and refuses to move until the Doctor speaks to her with some semblance of respect. I do understand that it’s not easy for the Doctor to talk about the Time War, but in a way, he’s been constantly teasing Martha with his past to benefit himself and then refusing to acknowledge that he’s doing so. I also have a purely selfish reason for enjoying it: I know jack shit about Gallifrey, so it was great to finally hear about it in the Doctor’s own words.

Also: THERE ARE OTHER TIME LORDS??? ALK;SDFJ;LAKDSFJ SFAD;KJFDSA;LK SFDA;LKLDFS;AFS;KADFSJKLADFS F;KLASFJKFSD

THOUGHTS

• OMG Alice and May are fantastic. Best married couple ever y/y/y/y/y
• I thought the Doctor hated cats? Maybe he hates cats but LOVES KITTENS. This is acceptable.
• Actually, on second thought, the image of the Senate with dead bodies littering the seats might be another scene I adore. So creepy!
• “Just what every city needs: cats in charge.”
• HOW CAN THE DOCTOR NOT BE ALONE. A;SDFJ ASF;LKDKLS;FKJSAFD SDFA;LJASFD;LKASFDJK AFS;LKSFDAKJL