In the fifth episode of the sixth season of The Next Generation, I SHALL NEVER HEAL. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Star Trek.
Trigger Warning: For abduction, nonconsensual medical procedures.
Cat poetry. This started off as a poetry reading from Data, and it took me to ONE OF THE WORST PLACES I’VE EVER SEEN IN A STAR TREK EPISODE. And don’t get me wrong: I really liked this episode. As a horror fan and as someone who adores slow-burn thrillers, there’s so much here that just hits all the right marks for me. I get someone not liking this because IT’S RELENTLESSLY FUCKED UP, but it worked for me.
Well, almost perfectly, that is. There’s one aspect of this that’s glaringly flawed for me. It’s a longstanding problem with The Next Generation, built into the framework of the show because it’s deliberately non-serialized. Due to this, there’s no way for the show to examine the ramifications of their storylines. What happens in “Schisms” is so violently traumatic that it’s actually distracting that no one actually addresses it. Y’all, these people were experimented on without their consent. RIKER’S ARM WAS SEVERED AND THEN RE-ATTACHED WHILE HE WAS SEDATED. And at the end of the episode, it’s like everyone went on an uncomfortable field trip. Really? Isn’t anyone here going to be the least bit upset?
Aside from that, though, I think that the way in which “Schisms” unfolds is what makes this stand out for me. The cold open is deceptively saccharine. As far as I could tell, it had no real connection to the remainder of the episode, and Data’s poetry recital tricked me into a sense of comfort. (Also, I don’t care, but I thought Data’s poem, “Ode to Spot,” was FUCKING AMAZING. I mean that with no irony at all.) Riker’s sleep problems were strange, but they never felt too terrible. Look, weird shit always happens to these characters, so it’s not like it felt like I should be worrying, you know?
It wasn’t until other members of the crew began to experience symptoms of some mysterious affliction that I began to feel dread settle in. The reason for that? Their behavior made no sense. Missing time? Accelerated time? An aversion to scissors??? Irritation and agitation? Aside from feeling like they weren’t sleeping, none of this seemed to make any sense at all. It felt so random, you know?
Thus, Deanna sets out to try to piece it all together by having each of those afflicted speak of their experiences with the others. It’s a smart technique, but this episode leaps into a whole new paradigm once they head to a holodeck room to reconstruct what seems to be a shared memory. It works so well to build terror and to unsettle us because we only get to see what these people experienced one piece at a time. This sequence starts out with a wooden conference table and ends with THE VERY REAL CHANCE THAT ALL OF THESE PEOPLE WERE RESTRAINED AND EXPERIMENTED ON. And then they added that fucking clicking sound, and I was done. I DON’T DO SOUNDS WITHOUT A VISIBLE SOURCE, IT FUCKS ME UP SO MUCH. And it had to be clicking, didn’t it???
Then we find out that Riker’s bones are microscopically misaligned and there are currently TWO CREW MEMBERS MISSING FROM THE SHIP and Data lost over an hour of time and LOOK. I GREW UP WATCHING THE X-FILES, THERE IS NOTHING I AM MORE PREPARED FOR THAN THIS!!! That’s a lie because I was not fucking ready for the climax of this episode. The set design for that alien pocket universe was minimalistic and practical, and it made it all the more creepy. Oh my god, the way those aliens stuck to the edges of the room so that they’d drift around in the shadows… NO. The clicking. That blade.
It’s terrifying, and I blame it all on each of you. YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN.
(And I’m thankful for it. That was a lot of fun to watch.)
The video for “Schisms” can be downloaded here for $0.99.
Mark Links Stuff
– I am now on Patreon!!! MANY SURPRISES ARE IN STORE FOR YOU IF YOU SUPPORT ME.
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– My Master Schedule is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often. My next Double Features for Mark Watches will be Kings, season 1 of Sense8, season 1 of Agent Carter, seasons 1 & 2 of The 100, Death Note, and Neon Genesis Evangelion. On Mark Reads, Diane Duane’s Young Wizards series will replace the Emelan books.
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