Mark Predicts ‘Farscape’: Season 3

I AM STILL BROKEN BECAUSE OF THAT FINALE. I would say that y’all have no idea how eager I am to watch the season three premiere, but some of y’all had to wait A VERY LONG TIME to get this cliffhanger resolved. SUCKS TO BE YOU. (Not really.) 

So, let’s go over my predictions for season 2 first!

1. Aeryn will rescue D’Argo and Crichton in the first episode of the season. WELL, I’M OFF TO A GOOD START. 
2. They will not reunite with Moya until the fifth episode. Well, I tried.
3. They will, however, find Crais and Talyn by the end of the first episode. And I was right!
4. Scorpius will find the characters stuck in the asteroid belt in the first episode, but they’ll escape him before the end of said episode. AGAIN. I’M DOING SO WELL.
5. Talyn will learn how to starburst by the halfway point of season two. even sooner than I expected THIS IS SO GREAT.
6. We’ll get at least one two-part episode. I bet this made y’all laugh so much. TRILOGIES.
7. There will be a major character death by the end of the season. I LEGITIMATELY FORGOT I PREDICTED THIS. Y’all, Aeryn died twice. (You can start singing.)
8. We will see Stark again and find out what happened to him. (That’s more wishful thinking than anything else.) YES. MORE STARK. 
9. One character will return to their homeworld permanently by the end of the season. Nope, not even close. 
10. We’ll get a heist episode! I LOVE HEIST STORIES. EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED. BLESS THIS SHOW.
11. Aeryn and Crichton will stop flirting with one another and just get it on without trying to be all professional. Y’all already had sex in the Ancients’ alternate reality, and that really happened, so stop it. JUST GET TOGETHER. This hurts. IT HURTS. 
12. We will see Jothee once this season. Flashbacks count! Who knew his return would bring such heartbreak? YOU ALL KNEW
13. We will see another Hynerian (a living one, I should say) in this season. OOOOH. I’m bringing this back for season 3.
14. We will also have an episode focusing on the Nebari. HOLY SHIT, I actually did really well for these???
15. We’ll have one episode that is heavy on the flashbacks. Y E S.
16. My big prediction for this season is that Scorpius captures John, extracts the Ancients’ knowledge of wormholes from his mind, and uses it to construct a wormhole weapon. Damn, I almost got this one! The last part didn’t happen or else this would have counted.

Okay, I’m actually kind of impressed with myself! I normally don’t do as well as this, but let us all celebrate this moment because it’s a disaster from here on out.

1. The show will find a way to resurrect Aeryn in the first episode. I’m sorry, I can’t believe they’d permanently kill her off.
2. John’s brain will be repaired by the end of the first episode of season three.
3. Let’s just go wild right off the bat: Jothee is killed this season.
4. So is D’Argo.
5. YEP, D’Argo. To add to that, it’ll happen in the season finale.
6. I want to meet another Hynerian, so add that to the list.
7. Stark dies as well, but only after he and Zhaan attempt to have a relationship.
8. I bet Aeryn and Crichton FINALLY get together. STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH, YOU DIED AERYN, YOU HAVE NO CHANCES LEFT.
9. We’ll have another episode about the Nebari and the Resistance.
10. There will be THREE trilogies in this season.
11. We’ll get an episode where the crew copes with Rygel constantly selling them out. They have to deal with it!
12. Zhaan will become a twelfth-level Pa’u.
13. Scorpius will be unable to read the wormhole technology from the chip, so he’ll spend most of the season trying to capture Crichton again.
14. We’ll get one more new crewmember.
15. We’ll get one episode entirely about Talyn and Crais.
16. And in that episode we’ll find out WHAT WAS ON THAT CHIP HE WANTED TO SHOW TO AERYN.
17. Finally, Scorpius will have the wormhole technology completed by the finale episode of season three.

WELL, THERE WE GO. As a reminder, please don’t spoil me or anyone else. Just let us sit in our wrongness (or rightness!) and slowly discover the truth ourselves.

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