Mark Watches ‘Galavant’: S02E09 – Battle of the Three Armies

In the ninth and penultimate episode of the second season of Galavant, the three armies meet. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Galavant. 

This was actually a little suspenseful, wasn’t it? It’s still a silly show, but the character growth we’ve seen over the course of Galavant kinda snuck up on me. Holy shit, these people have changed a lot, haven’t they? I got more invested in their stories than I thought I did, and as the three armies converged, I found myself on the edge of my seat a bit. 

“Battle of the Three Armies” opens with a nice summary of the show from the Jester, taking us back though this twisted, bizarre story. I had thought the reunion between these characters was going to happen earlier than this, so now I can appreciate being utterly wrong. As Madalena says here, their storylines had been spread apart for far too much time. Yet the convergence of these plots is a LOT to take in, and I assumed (wrongly, AGAIN) that Richard himself wouldn’t fight. Perhaps that was the way The Hero Sword would have its affect on the battle. He’d come up with a clever way to avoid the fight altogether!

Except that isn’t what happens at all. Oh, there’s still weird shit and humor mixed in with this. I loved the song about it being a good day to die because it managed to genuinely portray how dire this situation was, yet it still poked fun at the Big Fantasy Battle. Hell, the title of this is a reference to Return of the King, isn’t it? (Nice little dig at Game of Thrones there, too.) Plus, Galavant is ridiculous enough that something completely uncalled for could have happened here because… well, that’s just what the show does, right? For example: I NEARLY FORGOT ABOUT VINCENZO AND GWYNNE. I even remarked during the opening number that we hadn’t seen them in a while, and lo and behold, what happens? Turns out they built their new home in the direct path of all three armies. It makes no sense whatsoever, y’all. Did none of the armies realize they were running toward a farm??? THESE ARE THE SILLY FUCKING THINGS THIS SHOW DOES, Y’ALL. Because nope, not a weird thing at all. 

And for a moment, the zombies mostly disappear? The bulk of the fight is between the Hortensians and the Valencians until Madalena makes her choice. I kind of expected more chaos because of the zombies? Which is not to say that I’m disappointed by how this went down. As the battle got more intense, I was laughing at Richard’s reactions. He was surviving, though! Meanwhile, Isabella and Galavant were KICKING ASS. And then, the reunions hit, and OH WOW, IT WAS GREAT??? The Isabella/Galavant one more so, and it was hilarious that their second kiss still wasn’t that great. Why? Because nowthey can work towards getting to spend lots of time together in order to improve! It was also a joy to see Gareth and Richard reunite, though theirs was much more tense. Would Gareth fulfill his desire of fighting a war even if it meant cutting down his friend?

Really, though, it was Madalena who helped Gareth make his decision. Again, she couldn’t resist the pull of the magic that Wormwood offered her. She tried, and for a moment, I wondered if she was actually going to turn against him. In the end, though, she wants victory, power, and humiliation more than anything. Gareth’s rebellion against Madalena ends up being the big shocker, the twist right before… what? What is it that Madalena has planned? She clearly resents that everyone is back together and resisting her, so I’m assuming she wants to burn it all down. If she can’t have it, then no one can. 

It’s weird that there is only one episode left. I knew this show didn’t have a long run, but this went by so quickly, much quicker than I thought it would. I’ll reflect on the show as a whole more in the final review, but this is such an odd show. I’m actually not surprised that it did not attract a huge viewership, at least not enough to keep it on the air for two seasons. It’s so strange and quirky and deliberately at odds with itself and the audience. That’s part of its charm, of course, and as I go into this finale, I’m expecting more of that. And you know what? The Jester wonders aloud if there’ll be another cruel cliffhanger, and there’s a part of me that suspects that the writers knew they might get cancelled, and they wrote in a cliffhanger anyway. Because… well, why not go out frustrating everyone along the way? 

The video for “Battle of the Three Armies” can be downloaded here for $0.99.

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