In the twenty-third episode of the fourth season of Steven Universe, MY HEART. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Steven Universe.
Oh my god, after “Doug Out,” I wasn’t ready for this show to address insecurities AGAIN, but y’all. NOW I HAVE REALLY INTENSE FEELINGS ABOUT LARS, WHAT THE FUCK. It’s not that Steven Universe avoid complicated characterization with him. But out of Lars and Sadie, I’ve found way more to relate to in Sadie. Yet this is a story that further dissects why Lars is the way he is, why he is so difficult to like and why he is so rough around the edges. It’s a combination of imposter syndrome at first – Lars’s belief that his talent as a baker isn’t real or that he’s a fraud – and his intense fear that he’s good at something that isn’t cool.
In general, this show moves towards positive, optimistic themes, even if the characters are also realists or pragmatists. I mean, we’re at a point within Steven Universe where Steven casually refers to his mother as a war criminal. So I expected that this would be Lars’s chance to finally deal with his horror surrounding the Cool Kids. They wouldn’t have invited him to their Potluck if they didn’t want him around. Of course, there’s a more immediate fear: he’s not actually that good of a baker. I THOUGHT THAT PUMPKIN-SHAPED CAKE WAS EVIDENCE ENOUGH, BUT APPARENTLY NOT, Y’ALL. Still, I understood his reluctance: Sadie was his friend and Steven is eternally pleased. Was their sense of taste really a validation of his work?
And then we get that ube roll sequence. UBE. IS LARS’S DAD FILIPINO BECAUSE OH MY GOD I WOULD BE SO EXCITED IF THAT WAS TRUE. It’s such a specific thing that I have to believe it was included as an intentional nod to this community and their culture??? YOU CAN’T ACCIDENTALLY CHOOSE UBE, CAN YOU? (Also, my god, ube is so delicious, and I’ve had ube cake many times, and it is truly one of the great treats in the world.) But that scene was so important because Lars appeared to have gotten over his imposter syndrome. His friends couldn’t be lying about the ube roll, and he had to accept that his skill as a baker was real!!!
Yet that didn’t negate the other fear he had, and I appreciated that the writers were willing to depict Lars with layers and complications. Sometimes, we deal with more than one fear at once, or our fears are mingled and tangled up with others. It’s clear to me now that by the time the Potluck rolled around, Lars was unable to conquer his fear, and I would be willing to bet that his imposter syndrome flared up, too. AND IT BROKE MY HEART. I found this to be such a powerful episode because I imagine many of you could relate to it, too. Like, I was painfully “uncool” most of my life, at least until I got older and realized how bogus it was for me to pursue “coolness.” I recognize why it happens, and I know why I cared so much about how I was perceived. I never felt like I belonged amongst those to whom “coolness” came easily. I couldn’t afford the clothes they wore, and later in life, I couldn’t fit in them. I didn’t know how to be calm and collected and nothing felt natural coming out of my mouth. How did the cool kids attract so much desire? So much envy? So much attention?
We obsess over these things because of the social capital that comes with being cool. We obsess over this because perspective helps to build a narrative, one that says that once we’re cool, most of our problems are over. And it doesn’t matter how aware of this you are, or how smart you consider yourself, or how much you tell yourself that you’ll never care about any of this sort of thing. Even now, thirty-three years in my life, I still find myself thinking about who is cool. I am much better at quashing these notions, but “The Good Lars” reminded me of how hard it is to believe the best of yourself. It’s a bold choice for the show to have Lars ultimately abandon his ube roll in the trash and to disappear without a word to Steven. I’m hoping there’s an update soon, but for the moment, it was a necessary reminder that I’ve failed. That I’ve given in to insecurities. That I still struggle, and that means that sometimes, I don’t “win.” Lars isn’t less of a person because of it.
The video for “The Good Lars” can be downloaded here for $0.99.
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