Mark Predicts ‘Supernatural’: Season 9

As I get ever closer to catching up to real-time Supernatural, let us take a moment to bask in predictions that were poorly made, and then I shall make some more.

Okay, I don’t feel like I had a lot to go on, so I’m forgiving myself for how weak some of these are.

1. Dean and Castiel escape Purgatory by the end of the first episode. Look at what I have done. LOOK WHAT I HAVE DONE. 
2. Castiel is responsible for the escape. This is already a disaster. My batting average is -1.000. That’s not even possible, that’s how bad this is. 
3. They’re gone for only a few days in Earth time. So wrong it hurts. SO WRONG. 
4. Only a few episodes will feature Leviathans, and it’ll be references to them being killed/cleaned up. Look, I got a really easy one right. I shall applaud softly and sarcastically.
5. More Charlie! TWO MORE CHARLIE EPISODES, AND BOTH WERE FANTASTIC. 
6. More Kevin Tran! (Advanced Placement!) I just want him to be okay. 🙁
7. We’ll get a scene between Kevin and his mother talking about monsters and his role as a prophet. Sort of??? I’m counting this.
8. Castiel will be in the majority of episodes this season. Does this show ever just make him a main cast member? Don’t tell me. 
9. So will Crowley. Close, but not quite. 
10. Castiel will attempt to rebuild things in Heaven and repair his relationship with the other angels. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.
11. I think the Big Bad in season 8 will be Crowley! Because that seems like a lot of fun and they haven’t quite used him as much as they could. Plus, given the end of season 7, he’s positioned himself in a way that he’s ready to exercise more power now that Dick Roman is gone. Actually, this is a respectable prediction!!! It’s mostly right, but ANGELS. 
12. We’ll get seven new creatures we have not seen BEFORE. l o l Nope. 
13. Another meta episode! Does “LARP and the Real Girl” count? 
14. At least one episode will specifically be a humorous one. I’d say it counts for this one. 
15. Crowley dies at the end of the season. Wow, nope!
16. So does one of the Winchesters because that happens a lot. SO CLOSE AND ACTUALLY, SO VERY FAR!
17. That’s a terrible prediction, but I can’t really think of anything “shocking” to happen at the end of the season, namely because I don’t have much of a hint about the nature of the season’s arc. You weren’t ready.

Okay, there were plenty of cliffhangers in “Sacrifice,” so let’s do this:

Mark’s Predictions for Season 9 of Supernatural

1. The bulk of this season will track the Winchester’s attempts at tracking down fallen angels and stopping Metatron.
2. Crowley will escape from the Winchesters by the end of the first episode.
3. Jody Mills episode!
4. Charlie episode!
5. Kevin Tran episode!
6. We will definitively find out if Mama Tran is dead, and I think it’ll be revealed that she is still alive.
7. Castiel will remain a human for the entire season.
8. He will get his grace back in the finale episode.
9. One of the angels who fell will help Sam heal from the trials. (Given that Castiel isn’t an angel anymore, that seems like the only way Sam can get better at this point.)
10. The Men of Letters bunker will stay safe the whole season. (THIS IS A DEMAND. I LOVE THAT PLACE.)
11. Sam and Dean will actually attempt to trust and respect one another more after their tearful ANGST BATTLE in “Sacrifice.”
12. The Gates of Hell will stay closed this season and no one else will try to close them.
13. The angel and demon tablets will be destroyed.
14. We’ll get at least one glimpse at Metatron in Heaven.
15. We’ll get an episode about an angel getting revenge on humanity.
16. Crowley dies at the end of the season.
17. One of the Winchesters gets stuck in Heaven at the end of the season.

Okay, that’s a pretty good foundation. ONWARDS TO SEASON 9 of the show that I was only supposed to watch one season of.

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