In the fifteenth episode of the eighth season of Supernatural, NO. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Supernatural.

Trigger Warning: For talk of bestiality, racism/racial stereotypes.

Oh my god, y’all.

NO.

This is, without a doubt, one of the most misguided, poorly thought-out, endless-secondhand-embarrassment-causing, ridiculous things this show or ANY OTHER SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN has ever, ever, ever, done. I can’t even say that the scenes involving Dean coming to trust Sam are a saving grace to “Man’s Best Friend with Benefits.” First of all, that’s because THE VERY EPISODE TITLE ALONE IS FUCKING HORRIFYING. WHO? WHO THOUGHT OF THIS? WHO WAS SO AMUSED BY BESTIALITY JOKES THAT THEY DEVOTED AN ENTIRE EPISODE TO THE CONCEPT? Did no one stop them? Were they granted some sort of wish and the entire writing staff and production team and the director all could not stop this person from making DOGFUCKING 101 a reality? I want to take the genuinely wonderful scenes of Dean offering his trust to Sam, and I want to put them in LITERALLY ANY OTHER EPISODE because they don’t deserve to be tainted by this monstrosity.

Am I being cruel here? Yes, because this show asked me to sit through a running gag that was HAVING SEX WITH DOGS. You made me do this, and this is what you get. WHAT THE FUCK, SUPERNATURAL? Was this absolutely necessary? Did this show need a story like this? Sure, the idea of an internal power struggle between witches, fought over moral issues, is interesting. The idea of familiars is a classic of the genre. THERE DID NOT NEED TO BE A SINGLE JOKE ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH DOGS.

But let’s unpack this further, y’all, because it’s my duty to point out how this show is not only giving us an episode that thinks HAVING SEX WITH DOGS is a topic ripe for humor, but it’s UNBELIEVABLY RACIST. Oh, not so funny now, is it? Look, there had to be at least ONE PERSON who thought having a black woman talk about her white lover being HER MASTER was the slightest bit unfortunate. ONE PERSON HAD TO HAVE THOUGHT THAT. I understand that the episode then tries to talk about the power dynamics in a witch/familiar relationship, but it’s all lost on me when the writers somehow think you can stick this kind of language on a show set in America in an episode SET IN MISSOURI.

Fun fact: people of color within America, particularly black people within this country, have been fighting the stereotype that we are animals and savages for HUNDREDS OF YEARS. (I’m using the collective “we” in reference to the various stereotypes associated with people of color in general. I do not include myself in stereotypes associated specifically with black people because that has never historically been used against me. Just want to make that distinction! I have been compared to all sorts of animals in derogatory ways over the years, but I don’t want to co-opt something that I do not experience.) Even in positive depictions, you still see this association. In many beloved animated features of the last century, the voice cast is full of white people voicing an array of varied characters full of depth and layers, and guess who voices their animal companions? USUALLY BLACK PEOPLE. And let’s just say that no one on staff was aware of this stereotype or archetype or history or whatever. We still have the problem that makes it seem like literally no one read this script before committing it to digital space. It’s like those times in high school drama class when kids would suggest prompts for improv scenes and it was so obvious it was some weird fantasy the dude jerked off to at night, and he just wanted people to act it out for him, and THEN THIS SHOW PUT THAT REALITY ONTO OUR SCREENS.

Forty goddamn minutes of Sam and Dean Winchester making jokes about HAVING SEX WITH DOGS. This is what just happened. It’s like a surreal dream because as ridiculous and awful as some of this show has been, I would have figured that any living human ever would think that making a forty-minute episode surrounding a man WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SEX WITH A DOG is possibly a terrible idea. That is the reality I accept, and so I must be in some parallel universe where a writing staff creating stories for an internationally-known television show in its eighth season feels that a BESTIALITY episode of their show will be well received BY EVEN ONE PERSON. Who was the intended audience for this episode? Did Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming test out their dog sex jokes on their friends? Did they bounce their idea off the rest of the writing staff? Was this episode written during a week when the rest of the staff was at home with the stomach flu? When it got approved, did they quietly dance in their offices, convinced that they’d finally live down the infamous Racist Ghost Truck episode they wrote? (Don’t think I forgot about that one, you two.)

Actually, let me just spell this shit out: that is two episodes where this writing team has proven that they cannot write black people and specifically black women. I mean, now they can’t write DOGS either, so THAT’S A WHOLE LOT OF FUN. JUST… what? What?

What a fucking disaster, y’all. An utter and complete waste, monstrously offensive, tonally disgusting, and an example of a show so completely going out of the bounds of decency that it devotes FORTY-ODD MINUTES TO COUNTLESS JOKES ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH DOGS.

There aren’t enough hyperbolic statements in the world to convey how I feel. Fuck.

The video for this awful episode whose title I don’t want to type again can be downloaded here for $0.99. Take solace in knowing that it’s probably quite entertaining to watch my face as I struggle to understand whether or not this episode is really happening.

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