Mark Predicts ‘Supernatural’: Season 8

So, this is happening. I’ve made it through seven seasons of this goddamn show, and this is my life now. Let’s talk about the last season, and then allow me to stumble through poorly-formed guesses about season eight.

Has there ever been a point I wasn’t watching this show? I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT.

Mark’s Predictions for Season 7

1. First off, Death returns because he must. And in the first episode of the season!
2. I think season 7’s Big Bad is Castiel. I love the idea that he turns into the antagonist for season seven. THINK OF THE POTENTIAL. YOU CAN STOP LAUGHING AT ME NOW.
3. At some point, we’ll see Sam deal with his memories of Hell. At many points, we will see Mark break because of Sam Winchester.
4. By the end of season 7, Castiel will no longer be God. One episode. ONE EPISODE. 
5. He will also repair his relationship with Dean. Look, this is actually a good prediction? And I’d like to say that Dean and Sam are quite close to one another by the end of the season.
6. And here’s where I’m utterly lost, because every recurring character aside from the main four are dead. Well, wait, Crowley isn’t dead, so I predict we’ll see him in half of the episodes this season. Not quite!
7. Christmas episode? We need one, actually. Is there one aside from the season 3 episode? DON’T TELL ME. 
8. Vampires again? HELLO, ALPHA VAMPIRE.
9. We’ll get three new creatures the show has not featured again. I meant “before.” Featured “before.” So! Kitsune, Osiris, vetala, Chronos, Amazons, shojo, I’ve already lost.
10. I don’t know, a meta episode? Sort of? I’d say “Time for a Wedding!” counts.
11. I’m grasping at straws here, y’all. I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. HA
12. Um, Castiel kills all of Raphael’s followers at some point. ACTUALLY THIS IS CANON, RIGHT???
13. Crowley dies. I TRIED.
14. I’m empty, y’all. I can’t do this, and it scares me. I feel like I have so little to go on, and the show is going to use that against me. That’s totally what’s going to happen, right??? Indeed, this is what always happens. ALWAYS. 

Okay, let’s embarrass myself publicly.

Mark’s Predictions for Season 8

1. Dean and Castiel escape Purgatory by the end of the first episode.
2. Castiel is responsible for the escape.
3. They’re gone for only a few days in Earth time.
4. Only a few episodes will feature Leviathans, and it’ll be references to them being killed/cleaned up.
5. More Charlie!
6. More Kevin Tran! (Advanced Placement!)
7. We’ll get a scene between Kevin and his mother talking about monsters and his role as a prophet.
8. Castiel will be in the majority of episodes this season.
9. So will Crowley.
10. Castiel will attempt to rebuild things in Heaven and repair his relationship with the other angels.
11. I think the Big Bad in season 8 will be Crowley! Because that seems like a lot of fun and they haven’t quite used him as much as they could. Plus, given the end of season 7, he’s positioned himself in a way that he’s ready to exercise more power now that Dick Roman is gone.
12. We’ll get seven new creatures we have not seen BEFORE. l o l
13. Another meta episode!
14. At least one episode will specifically be a humorous one.
15. Crowley dies at the end of the season.
16. So does one of the Winchesters because that happens a lot.
17. That’s a terrible prediction, but I can’t really think of anything “shocking” to happen at the end of the season, namely because I don’t have much of a hint about the nature of the season’s arc.

H E L P.

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