Mark Predicts ‘Farscape’: Season 4

THERE’S STILL A SEASON LEFT, WHAT THE HELL IS LEFT FOR THIS SHOW TO DO. Everything, y’all. It’s gonna do everything.

All right, let’s see how I fared with last season’s predictions before I make a fool of myself again.

1. The show will find a way to resurrect Aeryn in the first episode. I’m sorry, I can’t believe they’d permanently kill her off. Huzzah!
2. John’s brain will be repaired by the end of the first episode of season three. Huzzah again!
3. Let’s just go wild right off the bat: Jothee is killed this season. Oh no, Mark. OH NO IT’S JUST EVERYONE ELSE.
4. So is D’Argo. WELL. Does this count because of the doubler???? Technically, he “died.” Right?
5. YEP, D’Argo. To add to that, it’ll happen in the season finale. Thankfully, he’s alive in the finale!
6. I want to meet another Hynerian, so add that to the list. YES WE FINALLY DID. Unfortunately, lots of tragedy.
7. Stark dies as well, but only after he and Zhaan attempt to have a relationship. Just end me now, WHY DID I WRITE THIS.
8. I bet Aeryn and Crichton FINALLY get together. STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH, YOU DIED AERYN, YOU HAVE NO CHANCES LEFT. GODDAMN IT, THIS IS EVEN MORE CRUEL THAN I COULD HAVE HOPED.
9. We’ll have another episode about the Nebari and the Resistance. Nope, but Chiana did mention it in the finale!
10. There will be THREE trilogies in this season. Nope, but a lot of double episodes!
11. We’ll get an episode where the crew copes with Rygel constantly selling them out. They have to deal with it! Ha, not really.
12. Zhaan will become a twelfth-level Pa’u. STOP IT MARK.
13. Scorpius will be unable to read the wormhole technology from the chip, so he’ll spend most of the season trying to capture Crichton again. T-technically? Maybe? Not really? I’ll let y’all decide this one.
14. We’ll get one more new crewmember. Hi Jool!!!
15. We’ll get one episode entirely about Talyn and Crais. I’m counting this to make myself feel better.
16. And in that episode we’ll find out WHAT WAS ON THAT CHIP HE WANTED TO SHOW TO AERYN. HAHAHA ENDLESS HEARTBREAK. God, this season was so fucked up.
17. Finally, Scorpius will have the wormhole technology completed by the finale episode of season three. Nope. Oh, Crichton.

So, I actually have quite a bit that I could predict for this final season!!!! This is exciting.

1. Aeryn and Crichton will be reunited by the fifth episode.
2. Chiana will not find her brother.
3. We’ll get an episode devoted to D’Argo finding Macton and killing him.
4. We will see Rygel’s homeworld!!!
5. Crichton will be reunited with Moya, Jool, and Pilot by the end of the first episode.
6. We’ll find out that old woman’s name in the first episode.
7. Scorpius is definitely alive, and this will be confirmed by the end of the second episode.
8. At one point, Crichton will have to work with Scorpius.
9. By the end of the season, Aeryn will give birth.
10. To a daughter.
11. Crichton will complete the wormhole technology by himself.
12. The Big Bad in season four? I predict it’s the Scarrans.
13. The entire crew will be reunited by the sixth episode.
14. I think that the end of this season will deal with the war between the Scarrans and everyone else. Massive alliance! Huge war!
15. D’Argo dies in this season.
16. We’ll get one more new crewmember.
17. Scorpius dies at the end of the season, too.
18. And finally, John gets the chance to go home, and he turns it down to stay with Aeryn.

With that, it’s time for me to start season four of Farscape. HOW. I’m frightened.

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