Mark Watches ‘Doctor Who’: S05E12 – The Pandorica Opens

In the twelfth episode of the fifth series of Doctor Who, the eleventh Doctor’s companions and friends assemble throughout time to send a message to him: The Pandorica is opening. The Doctor, Amy, and River Song race to discover what’s inside before the entire universe gets there first, but they are literally so goddamn unprepared for what the Pandorica holds. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Doctor Who.

WHAT THE HOLY FLYING FUCK JUST HAPPENED????????????!?!?!?!!??

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Image: GIF of Michael Emerson on the Bonnie Hunt show, dramatically saying, "OH MY GOD" while putting his hands up to his face.

Image: GIF of small child in t-shirt and diaper, standing on a chair in front of computer screen, acting amazingly surprised.

IMAGE: GIF of model Miss Jay on 'America's Next Top Model' dramatically turning to face the camera, wide-eyed.

Image: GIF of the creepiest thing I have ever seen. Some strange yellow creature that opens it's tooth mouth and FLOATS OFF SCREEN. What the hell.

Image: GIF of two Asian girls sit beside each other, but the second only appears as the camera slow pans to the left and reveals the horrified face of the second gal.

About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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709 Responses to Mark Watches ‘Doctor Who’: S05E12 – The Pandorica Opens

  1. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    HOLY SHIT IT’S BRACEWELL AND FUCKING WINSTON CHURCHILL A;DSLKFJASDFLKJ HOW ARE THEY IN THIS EPISODE TOO what the fuck did van gogh paint WHAT IS GOING ON

  2. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Oh my god RIVER SONG, YOU VERITABLE BAD ASS, I WOULD LOVE YOU IN EVERY EPISODE what on earth is on that painting that makes you freak out so badly WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

  3. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Oh my god this episode It’s THE FUCKING QUEEN LOOKING ALL DAPPER AND BEAUTIFUL AND SHIT and River is showing her the painting THIS IS ………WAIT. WAIT. WHY IS THE TARDIS EXPLODING. WHY. WHY IS IT EXPLODING. WHAT THE FUCK.

  4. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    River, you badass, putting microscopic explosions in that man’s drink. BE STILL, MY WARRIOR.
     
    Ok, we’ve gotten past the opening. And the Doctor and Amy are in the TARDIS and everything seems fine. They head to the “oldest cliff faces in history,” which are made of diamonds? What? Ok, who cares, this is Doctor Who. And what’s inscribed there? No one knows because they never had a TARDIS that could translate anything.
     
    HELLO SWEETIE. I love you forever, River Song.

    • Tauriel_ says:

      River is the ultimate BAMF, y/y?

    • Hotaru-hime says:

      I wasn't the only one going "WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE" was I?

    • Mauve_Avenger says:

      To be honest, I was kind of disappointed that the Doctor claimed that the TARDIS could translate anything and everything. Given how old the writing would be, it wouldn't be too far-fetched that the TARDIS actually wouldn't be able to translate it.

      I was kind of expecting a joke from him about Satan's horrible handwriting preventing the TARDIS from translating in The Impossible Planet.

  5. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    I think this is the first time we’re seeing Romans, yes? At least in this context, I mean. I was really keen on Amy being excited about visiting the Romans because I also loved learning about them in school. (I might also have been really obsessed with Roman men because I was the most stereotypical gay in all of gay-dom in those days.) I was confused that the main Roman guard that says that Cleopatra was in charge because…well, that’s an obvious one. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. Well it’s entirely possible because RIVER SONG IS IN THE HOUSE FUCK YEAH. God, seriously, I love her so much. But this time her appearance is more ominous than comforting. I distinctly recall (and so does Amy) that River would be around when the “Pandorica” opened. And River was not happy to mention that during the Weeping Angels two-parter. So off they go to search for the Pandorica. And where do they go?

    THE FUCKING STONEHENGE. THE STONEHENGE IS A SIGN FOR WHERE THE FUCKING PANDORICA IS HIDDEN. IT IS A DEVICE MEANT TO LOCATE IT. I seriously love this show with all my heart.

    • James says:

      I don't understand why it being River makes the Cleopatra thing make any more sense. As much I love her badassery in positioning herself here, it is so stupid that she would be believed. There's only so much I'm willing to believe hallucinogenic lipstick can do, come on. CLEOPATRA DIED OVER 70 YEARS PRIOR TO THIS. She was never fully allied with Rome and would never, ever be stationed in Britain. And yes, I know the Romans are actually Autons, but they don't know that. Or if they do, they're not being very convincing as Romans. If it's meant to be a clue to them being Autons, then why doesn't the Doctor – who knows his history, ffs – show any sign of thinking it odd?

      And if the Romans are Amy's favourites why does she think the centurion thinks the Doctor is Caesar (never mind that that's a title not one specific guy's name) when he greets them 'Hail Caesar!'? And again, the Doctor doesn't say anything. It's just so stupid, I can't even.

    • You and Amy clearly needed to be friends in high school! You could have swooned over the Romans together 🙂

    • fakehepburn says:

      <img src="http://i55.tinypic.com/102s4l3.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">

  6. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    WHY IS THERE A CYBERMEN HEAD ON THE GROUND. Also, I am not terribly excited about the Cybermen? I hope this finale is not about them.

    Oh, nevermind, THE PANDORICA IS REAL. It’s a giant box with levels upon levels of security that are slowly being deactivated, one-by-one, FROM THE GODDAMN INSIDE. YOU GUYS. The Pandorica is opening. But what is inside it? What could be held there? Amy remarks that it’s very similar to Pandora’s box, so does it actually hold the greatest evil of the universe inside of it? What could possibly be more evil than everything else the Doctor had fought? I mean, the Cybermen are fucked up, but we’ve come across much more “evil” beings than them.

    • Stephen_M says:

      Gotta ask…. did the Cyberman attacking the Doctor and Amy change your opinion on them at all? I know it had a pretty seismic impact on general fandom at the time…

      • burritosaurus says:

        It did?

      • Elexus Calcearius says:

        I personally enjoyed them much more in this episode than I usually do.

      • who_cares86 says:

        Well they were definitely done way better in this episode than in any of the previous ones. At least this way they're scary. The problem with the Cyberman is that they've become too robotlike. At least in the flimsy silver suits they used in the past you could still see the person underneath making it clear that they're half-organic. .

      • knut_knut says:

        interesting! The Cyberman head with its tentacle-y wires wriggling around trying to eat Amy's head WAS really scary and kind of badass, but other than that I was kind of eh about them in this episode. I've never been a big fan of them and this episode didn't really change my mind

    • mia says:

      I love that I'm not the only one initially bummed about the sight of the cybermen's head.

      • elusivebreath says:

        I totally was too, lol. Like all this buildup and it's cybermen? *GROAN* But then, the dismembered one was scarier and when the skull fell out it was kind of a reminder that there are people in there!

  7. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    But that’s when River Song detects the signal being sent out into the universe, transmitted so many millions of trillions of bajillions of miles into space, and the presence of at least—at least—ten thousand alien ships. Ten thousand. The Daleks. The Cybermen. The Sontarans. The Slitheen. The Judoon. The Atraxi. They are not inside the Pandorica. THEY ARE COMING TO SEE WHAT COMES OUT OF IT. WHAT THE FUCK IS INSIDE THE PANDORICA???

    • @Nycteridae says:

      Also, the Drahvin! Who haven't been in Doctor Who since being one-off villains in one serial in 1965. I seriously had a geek-out moment at that.

    • exbestfriend says:

      Is it weird that I became inordinately sad that David Tennant wasn't the Doctor anymore solely based on the fact that I love the way he says Judoon? Judoon platoon on the moon. Oh happy times.

  8. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Knowing that he may be overwhelmed, the Doctor decides it might be best if the Romans help out. When River returns to request their help, the legion commander has figured out that River is indeed tricking them, but, using her disintegrator gun to show she means business, she convinces the legion commander to join her. The mysterious volunteer agrees to help her and I had no idea who that could possibly be. Someone from the past, I imagined, or else why would he be shrouded in darkness?
     
    OH SHIT WHY IS THE CYBER ARM ACTIVATING. OH FUCK IT’S FIRING. OH MY GOD HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.

  9. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    The Doctor: Okay, need a better look. Gotta draw its fire, give it a proper target.
    Amy: How?
    The Doctor: Well, you know how sometimes I have really brilliant ideas?
    Amy: Yeah…
    The Doctor: I'm sorry! Hey look at me, I'm a target!

    LOVE YOU FOREVER, DOCTOR.

  10. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    OH SHIT, THE DOCTOR IS SHOW. IT'S GOING AFTER AMY. SHE'S BEEN SHOT WITH A DART. IS IT A CYBERMEN IN THAT GODDAMN PANDORICA. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. Wait. IT'S THE MYSTERIOUS ROMAN SOLDIER SAVING AMY. IT'S…………………..

    HOW. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. HOW THE FUCK CAN IT BE RORY. HOW CAN RORY BE ALIVE. HOW IS HE HERE. I AM SO CONFUSED AND HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME.

  11. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    OK, SO. Now that I can breathe, let's discuss this. I loved the Doctor's pure inability to even acknowledge that Rory was there. I know that it's played for laughs, but I believe that the Doctor LITERALLY cannot conceive of Rory being alive. I think the immediately awkward tone once the Doctor realizes Rory is right there is a sign of that. This is impossible. Literally impossible. And not in that Doctor Who way where a character says something is impossible and the Doctor laughs at their small-minded gesture. This is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

    Rory: I don't understand. Why am I here?
    The Doctor: Because you are. The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous and sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles….and that's just a theory. Nine hundred years and I've never seen one yet, but this will do me.

    Simultaneously beautiful and terrifying. What is happening that is doing all of this? It's so highly improbable that it frightens me.

  12. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    I'm just going to quote this because it may be the greatest single monologue in the history of Doctor Who. Nothing I could say to add to it. It is perfect, the most amazing single summary of this show and this character that could possibly exist.

    The Doctor: Sorry, dropped it. Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica takes the Universe! But, bad news everyone, 'cause guess who! Ha! Except, you lot, you're all whizzing about, it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I. AM. TALKING. Now, the question for the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: "Who's coming to take it from me?" Come on, look at me! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn, oh, and something else: I don't have anything to lose! So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little space ships with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then–and then–do the smart thing!

    Let somebody else try first.

    • Constanceoir Juliana says:

      <img src="http://i53.tinypic.com/30idf89.gif"&gt;

      SERIOUSLY. I LOVE THIS SPEECH!

    • leighzzz31 says:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I80pc9jZ_t8
      THAT SPEECH IS A THING OF BEAUTY. AND THAT ALONG WITH MURRAY GOLD'S 'I AM THE DOCTOR' IS JUST EPIC!

    • Stephen_M says:

      And the best bit? This badass boast, like ALL those that have come before it in this series, utterly backfires! Think about it:

      The 'Basically… Run' to the Atraxi? They joined the Evil League of Evil
      The 'I am the Doctor, and you are the DALEKS!'? Brought back the pure version of the Daleks who… joined the evil league of evil.
      The 'Never, ever put in a trap'? He escaped the trap but brought the Angels with them and closer to the power source they wanted. Granted, he threw them INTO that power source but that wasn't an option when he did the boast.
      The 'Let someone else try first'? Everyone buggered off to have a good chuckle about how they'd utterly fooled the Doctor and, possibly, enjoy the buffet for the next 30 minutes.

      • t09yavorski says:

        Evil league of evil? Are these the Doctor's Evil Exes?

      • NB2000 says:

        I'm now imagining the members of the Alliance crowded arond a buffet on one of the ships waiting for the Pandorica to finish opening. It's hilarious.

        • masakochan says:

          Group 1: Is it done ye- hang on, he's talking.
          Group 2: LOL. Yeah, he's got the Pandorica alright. *other groups laugh*
          Random alien: Hey, guys. I got this great ide-
          Dalek: ALL OTHER IDEAS ARE INFERIOR TO-
          Random alien: Yeah, we get that. Just hear me out. How 'bout we all fly away just to let him think he's scared us, and go grab a pizza while the box is unlocking. After that- we should have enough time to eat while Nesteen is activating his soldiers. Deal?
          Alliance: DEAL.

    • Kyle says:

      I did this speech for auditioning for my play. I got in.

    • ldwy says:

      So epic.

    • Hypatia_ says:

      I love that speech beyond reason. I could listen to it on repeat for hours. I have certainly not gone back to this episode and fast-forwarded to this part for the sole purpose of watching that speech again. Nope, never.

    • burritosaurus says:

      This speech is so epic and so awesome and badass and heroic and just fucking awesome…..

      But.

      It is also a pretty good explanation for why all those bad guys want to lock the Doctor in the Pandorica. We think they're the bad guys, but from their point of view, that one man with his silly little screwdriver all alone has become the stuff of nightmares. The Destroyer of Worlds. The Oncoming Storm.

      I think the universe is a better place with the Doctor in it, but if I were any of those Evil Exes I would want to lock him away for all eternity, too. We know they're wrong in thinking that locking the Doctor up will stop the TARDIS exploding, but it's still interesting to see the Doctor through the enemy's eyes for a brief moment.

    • fantasylover120 says:

      BEST. Doctor. Speech. EVER. Unless of course something more awesome comes in the future ;23 days till season 6 guys!;

    • knut_knut says:

      This speech has a special place in my heart, along with both Aragorn and Theoden's speeches from Return of the King <3

    • Pea Pie says:

      Grammar is a bit ropey!
      Who's got the Pandorica?
      I do!!

      "Me!" would be the most instinctive way to respond to that question… He's alien, not necessarily a natural English speaker so he's excused somewhat, the Tardis does lend a hand, but he likes his colloquialisms… and frankly he should know better!… Tsk!
      "I have" would also be appropriate.

      • Donald G says:

        "Who has got the Pandorica?"

        I have got the Pandorica.

        The Doctor's answer is perfectly correct, grammatically, although "I have" would have been a better choice. "Who" is the subject of the sentence, and a grammatically correct answer requires a nominative pronoun (In this case, "I") in the answer. "Me" is a pronoun used as an object, whether indirect (dative) – as in

        "To whom should I give the Pandorica?"

        You should give the Pandorica to me.

        – or direct (accusative), as in –

        "The Pandorica contains whom?"

        The Pandorica contains me."

        The first person genitive – or possessive – pronoun would be "mine", as in –

        "Whose Pandorica is this?"

        This Pandorica is mine.

      • Eh, nothing about that ever tweaked me. "Do" is the pronoun of the English verb world, and it's used particularly more often in British English. ("Have you finished your grammar homework yet?" "No, but I should do." <- "do" is the proverb for "finish")

    • Most Badass Speech? Agreed. I also love it because it sounds like the Doctor's working the crowd up before the show. Which is actually kind of accurate as to what's going on there!

    • mia says:

      LOVE LOVE LOVED THIS SPEECH. I got chill bumps all over my face and arms and legs and everywhere! Also, have I mentioned yet how much I love this review format?!?!?!

    • widerspruch says:

      GOOSEBUMPS, I SWEAR. GOOSEBUMPS

    • YES YES YES.

      No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn, oh, and something else: I don't have anything to lose!

      This part made me SO SAD for the Doctor. Nothing to lose? *sniff*

      Also, the best use of Eleven's "I AM TALKING!" thing EVAR.

    • turtle_turtle says:

      This is definitely my No. 1 moment for S5.

      Most especially because the aliens are probably all in their space ships skyping each other and laughing their asses off at Eleven because it's a trap.

    • lezah says:

      Love this monologue FOREVER and I can remember it off by heart……………………ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS PLAYED DURING "I AM THE DOCTOR" AT LAST YEAR'S PROMS which is a brilliant song and I kept listening to it until eventually I remembered the monologue too wait is this me justifying why I know the entire monologue I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DO THAT

      The monologue is quoted in my super awesome desktop wallpaper!

    • notemily says:

      I love the way he says "Anything! To! Lose!" Matt Smith totally won my heart with that.

  13. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    Let's move back to River, who takes off in the TARDIS, attempting to land it inside of Stonehenge to help the Doctor. But then that voice comes over the system: SILENCE WILL FALL. Who does this voice belong to? Are they the ones who created the Pandorica and know what's inside of it? However, River doesn't get the chance to question anything as the Time Crack appears on the console and the TARDIS crashes.

    Outside Amy Pond's house.

    On June 26th, 2010.

    The date of the Time Explosion.

    WHAT THE FUCK.

    • Hanah says:

      My best friend from school got married that day. Same day as Rory and Amy's wedding, same day as the UNIVERSE EXPLODED. Not gonna lie, I was fearful on the train down there. BUT THEN IT WAS ALL OKAY THOUGH NOT QUITE AS GOOD AS DOCTOR WHO WEDDINGS

  14. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    But the narrative begins to switch between River and the Doctor as this particular half of the story reaches it's horrifying conclusion. Rory is not Rory at all. He is an Auton, under control of the Nestene Consciousness, which we hadn't seen since the very first episode of the new series. It sent chills through me, not only because our Rory was not actually our Rory, but that nearly every villain that the Doctor had ever faced seemed to be showing up to see what was inside of the Pandorica. And none of them seemed to be fighting.

    Back to River, who has decided to enter Amy's old house, intrigued as to why the TARDIS would dump her here of all places. In Amy's room, she sees the signs of her childhood, especially the one the Doctor touched and influenced. However, she finds things that make too much sense. A book on the Pandora's box. On Roman history. And River knows the horrible truth:

    It's a trap. Series five is one long, eleven-episode con, with the time crack first appearing in "The Eleventh Hour" to leak Amy's memories and steal them, to set up the pieces for a long, horrifying trap. The Pandorica does not contain the most evil thing in the universe…yet.

    BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY FOR THE DOCTOR.

    • Bloop says:

      I like the episode, but I just wanted to say that Moffat didn't write Love and Monsters. You should amend the Beast Below review accordingly.

    • mia says:

      It definitely took a bit for me to get what was going on in this one. I was just like HUH for a good 2 minutes.

    • FlameRaven says:

      I hadn't guessed it before, but as the Doctor was examining the Pandorica and going on about how it was meant to hold the most dangerous thing in the universe, I called it. I was like "Doctor, listen to what you're saying. Oncoming Storm? Destroyer of millions? This box is FOR YOU."

  15. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    The Cyber Leader gives the Doctor the unfortunate truth: All evidence points directly at him that The Doctor is actually the cause of the Time Explosion. Every enemy he has ever faced has decided to form an alliance to save the entire universe–from the Doctor. If they trap the Doctor in the Pandorica, it'll stop the TARDIS exploding and save the universe.

    It's so fucked up. Mostly because THEY ARE FUCKING WRONG. Because the TARDIS is so far away from this moment, 1,900 years in the future, and the Doctor has nothing to do with it. River becomes trapped inside and tries to set the coordinates to meet back up the Doctor, who is trying as hard as he can to explain that there is another person who can fly the TARIDS, that if they lock him inside the Pandorica, all existence will flash away.

    The Doctor: Total event collapse! Every sun will supernova, at every moment in history! The whole universe will never have existed, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!!!

  16. xpanasonicyouthx says:

    But no one listens. Outside Stonehenge, Rory's Auton nature takes the best of him and in a moment of struggle, he shoots Amy. She dies. AMY POND JUST DIED. And the Pandorica opens and IT IS FUCKING EMPTY. THERE WAS NOTHING INSIDE OF IT. IT'S A PRISON MADE FOR THE FUCKING DOCTOR. And River thinks she's landed the TARDIS in the correct place and time, but opens the door to find a wall of stone. The Time Explosion of June 26, 2010 happens at that moment, as the entire universe explodes out of existence and the Earth remains. Silence has fell.

    I was never, ever, ever fucking prepared.

  17. Stephen_M says:

    Umm… was this format supposed to happen? Not complaining, kinda interesting and gives people chance to respond to individual points which is very cool, just… surprised.

    No, it’s no good, it’s just impossible to review this episode. There’s nothing, at all, that I want to criticise and trying to highlight the good bits ends up talking about the whole damn thing! It’s as close to perfect as you’re likely to get and is just wonderful in every way. The acting is spectacular (anyone who doesn’t choke up at least a little at the Rory / Amy stuff, especially the last ‘you’re not going anywhere every again’ bit has no soul), the direction and cinematography is practically movie quality, the story is tight as a drum and delivers so many awesome / heartwarming / funny / tearjerker moments most series would be struggling to match it over an entire season let alone one episode! Instead there’s three things in particular I just want to touch on:

    1) Cybermen – Let’s be honest the Cybermen have not had a good innings in the new series (and, frankly, they had a bad run in the later years of the classic show too). They’ve just never really come across as a threat and certainly haven’t touched on the body horror aspect anywhere near as much as they should have done. Yet here, in all of five minutes, a single representative who’s let himself go over the years manages to knock the Doctor out using just an arm, get within inches of nom’ing Amy’s head, put a sleeping dart in her neck, summon its body and would have managed to achieve all its goals if it wasn’t for the unexpected arrival of a sword-wielding Rory. According to Word of Moff this is supposed to be a Mondas Cyberman rather than the alt-universe Cybus variety, they just didn’t have the money to redo the costumes, which might explain why it’s significantly less wussy that what we’ve put up with to-date. Regardless, suddenly the Cyber’s are a honest-to-god threat again and we got a really memorable scene into the bargain!

    2) Moffat – I’ve tried to refrain from praising The Moff at length in every damn episode but that was primarily because I knew I’d be doing it at the end of the season. Talking this over with my wife in the last few days I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s his ability to write for both kids AND adults at the same time that leaves the little bit of me that aspires to authorhood staring in admiration. Or, possibly, his ability to get so many adult themes / situations under the radar… nah, let’s go with that kids/adults thing. RTD’s era of Who always seemed to appeal to a wide audience by aiming for the middle ground, what I guess you’d normally consider Young Adult if you were in a book store. Oh it went into adult territory occasionally but that was what I always considered the default setting. Moffat, on the other hand, gives us a (relatively) complex plot involving time travel, plot threads scattered throughout the series, a double-fake on Rory coming Back from the Dead (braaaaaaaaaaaaaains)… and yet it somehow remains very accessible to the younger generation of viewers. And that’s without getting into his superb humour (LOOK AT ME, I’M A TARGET) and seemingly endless ability to surprise and shock the audience. Certainly he’s the most genre savvy writer I can think of and plays the usual Tropes beautifully. Who is supremely lucky to have him and I really hope he sticks around for a long time to come.

    3) The cliffhanger ending – Watching this back before writing it struck me that this is not your normal cliffhanger. If you think back to RTD’s era this would have ended… oh, probably with the Evil League of Evil beaming in to the Pandorica chamber and the Pandorica itself opening for the Doctor. Here though… good lord, we just carry on and things KEEP getting worse. Next up Rory shoots Amy but it’ll be fine, it’s just a flesh wound right? That’s why they cut away to… the Doctor being placed in the Pandorica. Huh… well, that seems bad but he can talk his way out of it right? That’s why we cut to… Amy dying. Hmm, uh… o…okay, not good but the Doctor’s still talking his way out of tro… no, no he’s not. The League of Dooooooooooom seem to have wised up to that tactic. Wait! Of Course! River will save the day! She’s got the TARDIS and is generally a BAMF, it’d take a wall of solid concrete to stop her doing something suitably heroi…. huh, wadda you know, a wall of concrete. Rory holds a very very dead Amy (who somehow still looks fabulous), the Stars explode, everything turns black….. Silence Falls. And the audience sit in a state of shock for at least a minute afterwards.

    Any other show, hell any other season of THIS show, would have dropped the cliffhanger in the middle of that lot somewhere. Instead we get to watch the universe… end. Bravo Moff, Bravo.

    One last thing… I’ve been looking forward to THIS review ever since Mark started reviewing Who and, without wishing to sound too much of a sycophant, it really really lived up to the episode 😀

    • burritosaurus says:

      I AGREE WITH YOU A LOT.

      I was thinking about this cliffhanger vs. RTD's this morning, and really, this whole episode vs. all the previous finales, and what you said about writing to adults and kids as opposed to the middle ground is basically the conclusion I didn't get to (what, I have a short attention span). I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I haven't seen an episode of this show that I didn't enjoy, BUT there is something about *this* finale that is so much better, that still holds so much suspense even after dozens of viewings, and I think that's it. There's a lot of silly humor and a lot of concepts that take more thought so I keep finding new things, as opposed to some of the other finales, where there are just a lot of explosions and a lot of enemies that all get killed at once by some singular magical thing. I love that about this episode. There's a false sense of calm to the point where the episode seems slow for a finale (but not in a bad way!) and it just creeps up on you. And then, when it ends, I felt like it was more of an ending than a cliffhanger, which is so different and awesome. I mean, of course I'm curious and terrified and HOW WILL THIS EVER GET SORTED?!?!?! But I'm not wondering "what magical thing will stop all those ships from bombing the Doctor this time" or "How will he trick them into fighting themselves" or screaming about what a horrible place to put an ending. Moff has completely wowed me this season.

      • Tauriel_ says:

        THIS.

      • Stephen_M says:

        On the layered approach to storytelling, I think this is another area where Moffat did a better job than RTD over the course of the series. RTD's approach to arcs tended to be more 'throw in a couple of key words in every episode' whereas Moffat has honestly built a story here that genuinely is ONE story told over 13 episodes (well, more technically considering we met River in a two-part S4 story). That REALLY helps when rewatching as you start to see more and more ways that the episodes fit together and, as you do so, get more of an insight into the characters.

        Note: this is NOT an RTD-bash. I've stated on many occasions the respect I have for his work.

        • echinodermanicus says:

          I definitely agree. I think RTD tends to make his season/series arcs fairly obvious, as well as the character arcs ('we'll always be together' and the like).

          I think this season/series has a more subtle sense of growth and build-up, such that most of us really to have to think and reflect on what came before to see the cohesion (unlike the Bad Wolf/Torchwood/Saxon storylines. Admittedly, I've never been impressed by that buzzword sort of foreshadowing).

          S5 more than the others in new Who really requires a rewatch imo, and it's largely due to that layered approach.

          • burritosaurus says:

            I think the way this episode starts by showing so many people from previous episodes just goes to show how it was all thought out to be a subtle thing. All those people the Doctor met along the way came together in their own times to bring him to the Pandorica, to help him, to save him. It's not that I didn't enjoy the reveal of Bad Wolf/Torchwood/Saxon/Rose'sReturn but I like this one more, largely because it gets so much better on re-watch.

            RTDs episodes/arcs seemed, to me, to be all about EPIC THING THAT WAS KIND OF OBVIOUS BUT IS STILL EPIC BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS HAD NO IDEA and some big battle with a cliffhanger during the part where you think everyone is doomed. This….no battle, no explosions, nothing really epic, just a total mind fuck. I don't know about you, but the LAST think I thought the Pandorica was, was a prison for the Doctor. And even though it was pretty obvious that the TARDIS would explode, I had no idea it would happen with River inside, in Amy's back yard, with some guy with a creepy voice controlling things. Subtle shock.

            I think all the finales work really well for their particular seasons, but this one is just more my thing (maybe in part because there's so much that can be said about JUST this episode, independent of the second half, and I didn't feel that way about the others).

            • Tauriel_ says:

              This….no battle, no explosions, nothing really epic, just a total mind fuck.

              THIS. Moffat really shows how you can have epic and dramatic stuff without overblown CGI battles and explosions and OTT stuff.

              And, unlike any other previous first halves of the finales (which usually had cliffhangers in the middle of action), this really does create the feeling of "the end of all things, all hope is lost".

        • Tauriel_ says:

          I absolutely agree with this.

    • Starsea28 says:

      This is a total INVERSION of the RTD finale and that's why it works so well.

    • Weston says:

      Many upvotes for the Mondas Cybermen paragraph.

  18. shyfica tertia says:

    MARK WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO SEASON FINALES STRADDLING THE WEEKEND I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I STILL CAN’T STAND IT AHHH

    Ah-hem.

    This episode just blows my mind in a great well. Vincent and the Doctor was a lovely episode of deep meanings, The Lodger was a hilarious episode and this one is the official Shit Gets Real episode. Because, oh my god, that shit is so real.

    I love the opening, of different people the Doctor met through the series working together to contact him. And, whatever, I love River, she is the best of the best! I love her doodle of herself and how she becomes an ~art thief~ and how she forced the time vortex manipulator seller to accept her deal by putting tiny bombs in his drink. Oh, River! And she graffitied the oldest cliff face to reach the Doctor since he wasn’t answering his phone. Some people really hated that but I love it. And I love “Hello Sweetie”. I love that she decided that pretending to be Cleopatra was the best course of action.

    The scene where Amy shows the Doctor the ring is so heartbreaking. You can see the Doctor getting so hopeful, just really trying to get through to her, to have her remember Rory, but then, nope. And his face just falls. Oh, Doctor.

    And of course speaking of Rory! OMG HI RORY. His whole entry scene was so wonderful. First it’s amazing when you see it is him, and then so sweet when he is petting Amy, waiting for her to wake up, and then so awkward when the Doctor doesn’t realize it’s him. Hee! I love how he goes from trying to get the Doctor’s attention to kind of exasperated and just agrees that the Doctor is missing something big. And I love how the Doctor pokes him. And then it’s all heartbreaking when Amy wakes up and doesn’t know who he is. Poor Rory.

    And of course, the ending. Where all the previous WTFs get more WTFed than before. The Pandorica opens and it is for the Doctor. All the villains worked together because they think the Doctor will destroy reality. I love how that changes the scene where he gives that big speech to them. He thought he had it all figured out and was being very impressive but actually he just fell for their trap. And Rory isn’t really Rory. But he wants to be! And he tells Amy to run but she has started to remember so she doesn’t. And oh my god, that scene where she is happy and doesn’t know why and then he gets activated and she won’t leave and then he shoots her. ALL THE SADNESS. Oh, Amelia Pond. Though that final shot of her fallen back in Rory’s arms with her scarf hanging down is lovely. LOVELY AND HEARTBREAKING. You can hear him sobbing 🙁

    And River going into Amy’s house and discovering it was all created to trick the Doctor. And “SILENCE WILL FALL” asdfghjkl;’ what is that voice how did it start to control the TARDIS what is happening. When River opens the door to find a wall in the way… epic sadness. “I’m sorry, my love.” Oh, River.

    And of course, the Doctor is imprisoned in the Pandorica and the sky is exploding and asdsdfghjkl;’ can you imagine how it was to wait a week for the resolution my god.

    IS IT MONDAY YET

    • masakochan says:

      You can hear him sobbing 🙁

      It was just as bad, or worse, in the Confidential when they were showing the filming of this scene. He kept screaming "NO!" over and over. HFDSKAHFA My heart. ;_;

      • Constanceoir Juliana says:

        On my Confidential rewatch today, I thought that it was probably good we don't hear that very strongly in the episode, because it's just so utterly heartbreaking! Oh, how I love you, Auton Rory Williams.

    • SusanBones says:

      Your comment reminded me of why I love Matt and season five so much. It is the comedy. Matt does a great job with it. And it is subtle, not ha-ha obvious. I can't imagine Ten doing the same kind of "laugh at yourself because you are eccentric" kind of thing. Matt is very much the absent minded professor type. I guess the bow-tie is meant to give that impression.

  19. psycicflower says:

    <img src="http://i54.tinypic.com/2qmhyx3.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"> I have no idea even where to begin with everything that happens in this episode so let’s start easy with the music. There are actually over twenty songs on the soundtrack from the final two episodes (hell yeah two disc soundtrack!). My favourites from this episode are:
    The short but sweet ‘Amy and Rory’ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIW5bMjz7VA ‘The Pandorica’ is wonderfully jaunty, for want of a better term, at the start before a great build. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I57Pj1lWPE8 ‘Words Win Wars’ backs up the Doctor’s epic speech so it’s automatically made of win. (Also how much do you love a show that says and means a title like that.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM5Ge66TmYs
    But my absolute favourite is ‘The Life and Death of Amy Pond’ which is the piece that plays over the end of the episode. It’s simply amazing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No2qsjun4Kg

    <img src="http://i56.tinypic.com/2n1xdvc.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
    I love River being all time travelling spy/thief/intergalactic woman of mystery in order to get the message of the exploding TARDIS to the Doctor. I mean the oldest recorded words in the universe are apparently seen as this huge mystery but they’re actually just ‘Hello Sweetie’, and all because the Doctor didn’t answer his phone. It’s also interesting to see someone explicitly stating things River doesn’t know about yet, like the Byzantium, because she’s so normal about it. I’d be so curious but she just dismisses it because it hasn’t happened to her yet and she doesn’t know when it will so she may as well focus on what she’s doing now. I really love the scenes of River in the TARDIS. Not only does she act so at home flying but it’s impossible for me not to love anyone who treats the TARDIS even remotely sentient and there’s River constantly asking the TARDIS what’s wrong and if she’s okay.

    ‘You know the way sometimes I have really brilliant ideas?’ ‘Yeah’ ‘Sorry. *runs out* Look at me I’m a target.’
    <img src="http://i53.tinypic.com/6f4kds.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
    I love that the Doctor’s epic Stonehenge speech, his Crowning Moment of Awesome for this episode, starts off with ‘sorry, sorry, dropped it.’ Although today I did start mentally calling it his ‘come at me!’ speech.
    I love how curious he is about the Pandorica, what’s inside and his lack of knowledge about it outside of it being a fairy tale. Which I suppose is perfect for the Alliance as it keeps him distracted from looking at the scenario around him too closely and he fails to spot the trap. I also love how well the information about the Pandorica fits the Doctor. ‘There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.’ It’s especially interesting when a few lines later you have River saying ‘I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him.’ It’s so easy for him to be both the hero and the villain. It really shows how different the Doctor can appear depending on the situation, which side you’re on and the larger context.

    (continued)

    • psycicflower says:

      ‘No, I'm missing something obvious, Rory! Something big, something right slap in front of me, I can feel it!’ ‘Yeah, I think you probably are.’ ‘I'll get it in a minute.’
      <img src="http://i54.tinypic.com/2zgf2m8.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
      RORY! Rory’s alive and killing creepy tentacle having, head snapping, Cyberman! Rory’s alive and a Roman? I feel so bad for Rory in this when the Doctor tells him he has to be brave and Amy just walks right past him. I can’t imagine what it would be like to discover that you’ve been erased from existence and one of the most important people in your life doesn’t know who you are. I love that Amy’s crying in this episode isn’t because of some terrible hurt but because she’s so happy, even if it takes her a while to remember why. ’Williams. Rory Williams from Leadworth. My boyfriend. How could I ever forget you? Of course that’s when you get the horrible realisation that Rory isn’t what he seems. Just as they’re starting to reunite with Amy remembering Rory, Rory starts to lose who he is. It’s heartbreaking when he shoots her because in that moment she clearly trusts him so much while he’s still fully aware of being Rory but can’t control the Auton part of himself. WHY IS THEIR LOVE SO TRAGIC!

      ’I'm sorry, my love.’ River is trapped in an exploding TARDIS. ’No! No!’ Rory the Auton is holding Amy’s body. ’Listen to me!’ The Doctor is sealed in the Pandorica and as all the stars explode the music cuts to silence.
      YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!

    • Stephen_M says:

      Just for the record, that gif of Amy and the Doctor… BEST GIF EVER! The look on Karen's face gets me every damn time.

    • I also love how well the information about the Pandorica fits the Doctor. ‘There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.’ It’s especially interesting when a few lines later you have River saying ‘I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him.’ It’s so easy for him to be both the hero and the villain. It really shows how different the Doctor can appear depending on the situation, which side you’re on and the larger context.

      THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.

  20. echinodermanicus says:

    Because people are clever, someone on the spoiler blog pointed out we could we your review by checking your intensedebate page. So I got the weird situation of reading a review before it was posted, basically. That was weird.

    <img src="http://i51.tinypic.com/raxn2o.gif"&gt;(Source)
    That's right, River fucking Song is back and still as fierce as ever. That's right, Winston Churchill knows River fucking Song, and relies on her for help when the Doctor isn't around. That's right, River fucking Song has hallucinogenic lipstick and breaks out of prison and cheekily draws a picture of herself (which is adorable btw). And what does she do out of prison? River fucking Song steals the van Gogh painting of the TARDIS exploding (which is one of my favorite things ever created on this show) straight from the royal collection. And yes, even Liz Ten has met River fucking Song, and River fucking Song doesn't back down even when the queen herself has her at gunpoint.

    She deals with an alien salesman with utmost confidence, and in fact is totally ready to kill him in order to meet up with the Doctor since he now needs her help, even if he doesn't know it yet. How does she find him? She graffities the oldest cliff-face in the universe to get his attention and tells him where to meet her. And then she passes herself off as Cleopatra, because why not.

    That's right, RIVER FUCKING SONG IS HERE TO FIND THE DOCTOR AND SAVE HIM AND THE TARDIS, AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO GODDAMN BOW DOWN BEFORE HER MAGNIFICENCE.
    <img src="http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/8279/dwrivers5.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/4431/tumblrlfv19pfdvk1qcmuui.gif"&gt;

    Now that my complete fawning over River is done, I can get back to normal commenting.

    "My favourite topic at school. Invasion of the hot Italians. Yeah, I did get marked down for the title." Oh Amy ilu so much.

    And I love that River's "spoilers" moment at Stonehenge (Stonehenge! lovely setting choice) is in reference to herself: River's the one who needs to be protected from spoilers this time. It's just so interesting seeing her in reverse chronology from her own timeline, and it makes rewatching a necessary experience for me.

    Okay, so I think the "underhenge" is a little ridiculous, but I'll take it anyway since that means Stonehenge is super mysterious, and that's always fun to me. And I love River and Eleven's mutual excitement opening those doors and seeing the Pandoria. Their smiles! So fantastic.

    "I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him." – that really sums up the Doctor to me, and I love that River is sort of grudingly accepting of how important he is. Their dynamic is just so refreshing to me, and I think the Doctor really has needed someone in his life recently who likes and respects him, but doesn't idolize him the way so many companions end up doing, Amy and Rory included.

    "Your favourite school topic, your favourite story. Never ignore a coincidence, unless you're busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence." Oh, Doctor. I get that he has a lot of things requiring his attention, but he really does ignore a lot of mysteries often in order to focus on something else. I guess it sort of comes with the territory of being a time-traveller.

    Okay, so, Daleks. Cybermen. Sontarans. Terileptil. Slitheen. Chelonian. Nestene. Drahvin. Sycorax. Haemo-goth. Zygon. Atraxi. Draconian.

    But instead of overwhelming us with aliens, Moffat saves them for the end, and instead gave us a beautiful, quiet moment with Eleven and Amy, where Amy confronts him about the ring. And it's moving and wrenching and packs in so much emotion and speaks to the wonder of a single individual and how they matter, and how they cannot be forgotten.

    …And then, well.
    <img src="http://i52.tinypic.com/123o2zn.gif"&gt;(Source)
    Oh, Doctor.

    • echinodermanicus says:

      But most importantly, RORY! OMG IT'S RORY! RORY'S BACK! RORY!!!

      "Yes, I know that, Rory, I'm not exactly one to miss the obvious." Oh, Doctor. You really have to stop making me say that. (No, actually, he doesn't, since I love those kinds of moments so much.)

      <img src="http://i52.tinypic.com/2qssyle.gif"&gt;
      <img src="http://i53.tinypic.com/2cwsb3k.gif"&gt;

      "Well, I died and turned into a Roman. It's very distracting!" Aww, ilu Rory. I never really thought that before this ep, but his coming back really was wonderful and brilliant and made me gleeful.

      And yes, yes, the Doctor makes a big speech and it's pretty fantastic, but I'm more interested in River with the TARDIS, and Amy not remembering Rory.

      So I love River talking to the TARDIS, in a similar way to how the Doctor does but without as much love in her voice. I love that she understands the TARDIS, and is worried about it when it goes screwy. And I love that the Doctor trusts her enough to try to solve important parts of the mysteries. She's basically the only companion I've seen to get carte blanche from the Doctor to investigate. And that's why I love her – she is so much closer to an equal than any other companion on new Who. Hell, the Doctor trusts her with the TARDIS – that's a whole lot bigger than the screwdriver, imo. So their relationship is evolving, and now the screwdriver thing seems like a blip on the radar of how much he trusts her.

      I'll have more to say about their relationship in the next episode, but River is one of the few characters who I could stand to see the Doctor being shipped with. That usual inequality and power differential has so frequently grossed me out from other Doctor/companion ships, but River is different, and the Doctor can trust her with things he can't with basically anyone else. Plus, they just get each other. There's a lot that goes unspoken between them, and that's fine because it doesn't need to be said. It's pretty obvious I adore River on her own, but I really do appreciate her relationship with the Doctor as well. And I'm really glad that the dynamic between them changes, constantly. We keep seeing the Doctor trust River more each time they meet, and we keep learning more about River each time as well. Im sum, fuck yeah River Song! (How much do I love that she's the one to piece together the different aspects of Amy's life coming together in this story? SOOO MUCH!)

      And now back to Amy and Rory. It's so heartbreaking that Amy's crying and she doesn't even know why. She's happy and she doesn't know why, and she likes this guy Rory without knowing why, and it's so moving to me. And then Rory starts being taken over and has to resist with all his might
      and of course we can't just have a happy ending for them.
      Of course it's when Amy finally remembers, and they can finally get a proper reunion, that Rory loses his ability to resist and ends up shooting Amy. JFC CAN WE NOT HAVE ANY UNTAINTED HAPPINESS EVER ON THIS SHOW?

      "Doctor, there's something wrong with the TARDIS, like something else is controlling it." NEVAR PREPARED!!!

      And this was laid down earlier in the ep, but "think of the fear that went into making this box. What could inspire that level of fear." And of course it's the Doctor. There's only one person in the universe that so many people or aliens could fear and want to see contained, and that's him. Why? Because he has the power to destroy the universe. Well, it's the TARDIS exploding at this very moment in the ep that could destroy everything, and now stupid aliens have gotten in the mix so he's not there to save the day.

      And then we see River trapped, and Amy's been shot, and then GALAXIES START FUCKING DISAPPEARING and we are left with the Earth and with silence. HOLY. SHIT.

      In conclusion, and this has been a comment conclusion of mine before, LENSFLARES! SO VERY MANY LENSFLARES! SO VERY, VERY MANY… Look, I'm a JJ Abrams fan, I eat this shit up wih a spoon.

      <img src="http://i56.tinypic.com/15qwup0.gif"&gt;
      <img src="http://i55.tinypic.com/6zr9tw.gif"&gt;
      <img src="http://i55.tinypic.com/243rbeg.gif"&gt;

      Enormous thanks to nanceoir for making these gifs (and more) at my request.

      <img src="http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/1949/tumblrlgin54bn861qbebna.png"&gt;

      (P.S. did anyone else remember some blinding white light, and then suddenly they have a new username and icon and were carrying a sword? Totally inexplicable.)

    • Minish says:

      I'm on a horse.<i/>

      You may have all of these:
      <img src=http://stengel99.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/thumbs-up.jpg>

      BEST. FUCKING. GIF. EVER.

      Oh, River Song you BAMF.

    • thefireandthehearth says:

      I love all this River love, especially yours!

    • __Juniper Aurelia__ says:

      LOOK AT THAT GIF. RIVER SONG, MARRY ME. 😀 😀 😀

      Epic comment is epic. &you;

  21. George says:

    This episode, this series, this show….so UNPREPARED!!

  22. Rufinia says:

    RORY RORY RORY

    "Why are you crying? Are you sad?"

    "No, I'm happy. I'm really really happy."

    RORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY

    My God, Mark, are you going to make us wait TWO WHOLE DAYS for the next review? YOU ARE SO MEAN.

  23. SusanBones says:

    I LOVE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    We re-watch this one all the time. It is filled with so many good things, including visits to the past episodes. It is almost like Harry Potter, where clue are laid out through out all the episodes, only to appear at the very end, encouraging you to go back to see where they came from.

    And no one spoiled you about Rory showing up again, even if he is plastic. How cool is that!

  24. Valerius Maximus says:

    Okay, so, this was me when watching this episode for the first time.

    <img src="http://strackattack.com/gifs/baby%20mind%20blown%20by%20tunnel%20lights.gif"&gt;
    <img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lher3fxO1w1qd595n.gif"&gt;

    I think that pretty much sums up my feelings.

    Also, this is always relevant.

    <img src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b47/Eirela/comeatmebro.gif"&gt;

  25. Bobcat says:

    The best finale.

  26. Karen says:

    So this is, in fact, the first episode where I really enjoyed River as a character. I think that she’s SO much more fun and interesting when the focus is less on her ~mystery~ and more on her being competent and full of lulz. Like, I think the fact that she doodles a stick figure of herself on her jail cell saying “Bye!” is incredibly amusing AND THEN SHE PRETENDS TO BE CLEOPATRA. LMAO. ThiS is the kind of River Song that I can see myself liking. Although when she says “sweetie!” and “spoilers!”, it’s still like nails on a chalkboard. I think a big part of the reason that I like her better in this episode than in her previous appearances is because River is earlier in her timeline, so she doesn’t have that annoying quality of knowing everything when the audience doesn’t and constantly talking about it.

    This episode does have a really neat atmosphere to it. I really love the whole Indiana Jones esque vibe of River, Amy and the Doctor discovering the Pandorica.

    I think that my creepy adoration of Rory has been pretty well established on this blog, so it should be of little surprise that the Rory stuff is my favorite part of the episode. Doesn’t he look sexy in that Roman get up? UNF.

    I was all ready to forgive “Victory of the Daleks” for the ridiculous Bracewell “pretend to be a human using your fake memories” thing if it meant that was how Rory was going to become human again. But then no. He just shot Amy. And it was actually quite sad. One of my issues with series 5 is that I just don’t feel as connected to the characters as I used to. The exception to this is Rory. I don’t know why it is, but to me, Rory was just a much easier character to get a hold of and understand, and because of that he was easier to love. So when he is trying so hard to be human and is shouting “I’m Rory!”, I actually felt for him which was something that up to this point, series 5 hadn’t managed to make me do for anyone (other than Vincent, but he’s a one-off so he doesn’t really count).

    Also, Murray Gold is a genius. The music for this episode is just fantabulous.

    • monkeybutter says:

      Haha, I love that Amy made Rory dress up as the Doctor and a centurion. I adore Amy for making all of the Rory funtimes possible, until, you know, it turned really, really sad as she got her memories back.

    • SusanBones says:

      I think part of the reason that River is likeable in this episode is because she is humbled. She doesn't have the answers, she doesn't know more than anyone else, as you mentioned, and she is trapped in the Tardis. We finally see her helpless and powerless, which is good for her. 🙂

      I agree with what you said about Rory. It is easy to identify with him. He is a regular bloke, thrown into this stuff because he is with Amy. He would never follow the Doctor if it wasn't for her. And I think the idea that he is a frail human is more appealing than the infallible Doctor and the plucky companion.

      I love the music, too. I wish I had mentioned it. The music is awesome, especially at the closing of this episode. Now I need to watch this again.

      • Starsea28 says:

        We finally see her helpless and powerless, which is good for her. 🙂

        No, it isn't. It's not good for anyone. And especially so in this case because River being powerless and helpless means the TARDIS blows up and the universe ends.

      • masakochan says:

        We finally see her helpless and powerless, which is good for her.

        There is some part of me that wants to side-eye this bit.

        This isn't her being humbled. This is some unknown source taking complete control out of her hands, leaving her scared and yelling for the Doctor's help while she tries to escape, and not being able to while the TARDIS explodes. And there is nothing good about that. It's horrifying.

        TL;DR: No, it's not.
        <img src="http://i55.tinypic.com/2416mgj.jpg"&gt;

    • who_cares86 says:

      Murray Gold never gets enough credit.

    • Reddi says:

      I feel the same… I don't have the emotional connection to the characters as I used to… EXCEPT for Rory. Rory is awesomeness.
      And yes, the bracewell stuff seemed to translate to Rory… just as the Amy forgetting in the Starship UK one translated to Amy forgetting Rory… then remembering. Except Rory shot Amy. :: sob :: And I don't even LIKE Amy that much. But I love Rory.

  27. keepthepunkrock says:

    LOL MARK REVIEW IN COMMENTS DARLING, YOU ARE A FLAWLESS GENIUS

    ALSO HOLY SHIT THE PANDORICA AND OMG RORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ALSO JFC RIVER SONG ILU FOREVER OMG

    ok but srsly though, what is WITH the doctor's lack of self-awareness in this episode? or i guess this incarnation in general, like it's only really realistic because there were definite shades of that in "the beast below" too, but how on earth did he not figure out that the pandorica was for him? the most dangerous being in the universe… HMM, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE ngl i was facepalming pretty hard throughout

  28. NB2000 says:

    I assume this is the review, what the hell commenting anyways. Or at least attempting to from my iPad (of all the days for my computer to get a virus.

    Basically: OMFG THIS EPISODE! I love it so.

    The most important part:
    <img src="http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq100/nebula908/Gifs/DoctorWho/002b06rb.gif"/&gt;

    RORYOMFG YES! And looking very nice in his Roman armour if I may say so.

    FUCK YEAH RIVER SONG! Totally badass and awesome in the openng scenes. I cannot beging to tell you how much I wish she and Liz 10 could team up and travel the universe beng BAMFs together.
    (cont. Because I really can't see what I'm dong today)

    • NB2000 says:

      Now that I have a giant poster of the painting that kicks off this episode I've become so disappointed that we only get what, ten seconds to look at it in the episode? It is seriously gorgeous to look at.

      Busy night for the Pond residence, the Doctor and Amy come and go and return briefly, whatever it was that took the memory print shows up and finally River stops by (the scenes of River walking around in there are some of my favourite, there's something about them that just make the house seem so…lifeless)
      (cont. Again)

    • NB2000 says:

      Oh god this is actually turning out to be really difficult to do, I just want to flail over everything. Okay remaining thoughts in list form:

      – Amy and Rory, oh god the last scenes are heartbreaking. Speaking of Amy, it took me six months to realise but I've had the jacket she wears in this episode in the back of my wardrobe for about a year. Christmas present that was too nice to wear everyday.

      – "I'm sorry my love." River/TARDIS? y/n? just me?

      – The "Who's coming to take it from me?" speech by the Doctor to the gathered ships is a thing of beauty, Matt is absolutely wonderful in it and the CGI on the ships is amazing. Nice work by The Mill.

  29. Anon says:

    When they got to the Pandorica i was convinced we'd see them open it and find an older version of the eleventh doctor stuck inside. I wasn't that far off, also as epic as that speech at stonehenge was do you think all the aliens were texting each other going haha what an idiot, he is so not prepared.

  30. well, mark- you had us all in a tizzy with that!

    • Hey- wh- what? Am I ROMAN? I swear my name was kaybee, not kayprasia beelicianus? And is my icon wearing a HELMET? How the hell? The last thing I remember was picking up some duct tape to fix that crack in the comments…and now I freaking Roman? Weird…

  31. Faustine Lucretia says:

    So, weird story, guys. I woke up a bit ago and I was just like… a Roman. I have no idea why. It's very distracting.

    ANYWAY I won't let being Roman stop me from commenting on this awesome episode, in the way I do best!

    GIFS

    SO RORY SHOWS UP AND MY BRAIN IS JUST LIKE
    <img src="http://i42.tinypic.com/fz5em0.jpg"&gt;

    But once I piece it back together I'm like HOLY SHIT RORY
    <img src="http://i48.tinypic.com/xeor2c.jpg"&gt;

    And then I'm confused because WHY RORY WHAT AND WHAT ARE ALL THESE VILLAINS DOING AND SOMEONE PLEASE HOLD ME
    <img src="http://i52.tinypic.com/34pj0nl.jpg"&gt;
    (itwouldbereallygreatifthatsomeonewasjamiejustsaying)

    and HOLY SHIT WHEN DID THIS SHOW GET SO INTENSE.
    <img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lc375msmu21qcwhkeo1_400.gif"&gt;
    OH RIGHT THE DAY IT WAS CREATED.

    I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN
    <img src="http://i52.tinypic.com/2wqbrer.jpg"&gt;
    THAT IS HOW I FEEL WHEN I WATCH THIS EPISODE. LIKE I RANDOMLY WOKE UP ON BIG BROTHER. THAT WOULD BE INTENSELY DISORIENTING, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING BECAUSE I WOKE UP AS A ROMAN.

    <img src="http://i44.tinypic.com/ajryb8.jpg"&gt;
    MOFFAT GET YOUR ANGRY MOB OF CONFUSING PLOT POINTS TO STOP MAKING MY BRAIN CROWDSURF. (IDK WHY MY BRAIN IS A DALEK NOW IT WAS JUST A METAPHOR I STARTED AND DECIDED TO STICK WITH. AT LEAST I'M CONSISTENT, OKAY?)

    CLEARLY I AM LOSING MY GRASP ON SOMETHING
    <img src="http://i51.tinypic.com/9fz22b.jpg"&gt;
    I THINK IT IS THE UMBRELLA OF MY SANITY

    LIKE
    <img src="http://i50.tinypic.com/1pcpko.jpg"&gt;
    MY BRAIN JUST SHOT THE DOCTOR THAT'S HOW FUCKED UP THIS IS.

    GUYS PLEASE EXCUSE ME I NEED TO JUST HIDE UNDER THE CONSOLE UNTIL MONDAY
    <img src="http://i43.tinypic.com/282fedv.jpg"&gt;

    P.S. Why the hell do I have a sword?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    P.P.S. I'M FLAMINGPIE!!!!! I'M FLAMINGGGPIEEEE!!!!! I'M FLAMINGPIEEEE!!!!!

  32. Kaci says:

    This episode, man. I love how you think you're in on the mystery the whole time–you know to be looking for the cracks in time, you know about erasing memories, etc etc and then BAM you get slapped in the face with ACTUALLY NO THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN A CON AND YOU FELL FOR IT. Brilliant.

    RORY. I cried so hard when he's trying to hold onto his identity, screaming, "I'm Rory! I'm Rory!" It would've been very easy for that line to sound cheesy in the mouth of another actor but Arthur pulls it off brilliantly and heartbreakingly.

    And seriously, does anyone give those awesome badass, "COME AT ME, BRO," speeches as well as Matt Smith? No. No, they do not. (J/K, ILU DAVID AND CHRISTOPHER, I PROMISE.)

  33. meeoow says:

    Everyone else has these intricate long posts with their thoughts and all I can say is OMG ASDJKLAFASDS.
    It was amazing. And I can watch this (most of) season over and over again and not get tired of it, and omg you are not prepared for the second half.

    • travelinghobbit says:

      No kidding. The other seasons I pick and choose which I watch, but the fifth season, all the damn episodes get replayed. SO MUCH LOVE FOR THEM.

  34. Tauriel_ says:

    FANTASTIC EPISODE. Love how it tied the whole series together – the cracks were the effect of the TARDIS exploding, which Vincent saw as a vision (or something) and painted it as a clue for the Doctor; Churchill kept the painting safe for the Doctor; River retrieved it from the Royal Collection in the 51st century and brought it to the Doctor in 102 AD.

    Love the Indiana Jones-esque setting of the "Underhenge" where the Pandorica is stored (fun fact: when they were filming the scene, they had the music from Indy playing to get the right atmosphere).

    And again, plenty of funny and awesome lines:

    "You graffitied the oldest cliff-face in the Universe."
    "You wouldn't answer your phone."

    "Hail, Caesar!"
    "Arise… Roman person."

    "Look at me, I'm a target!"

    But ZOMG RORY!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW CAN HE BE THERE?! HE WAS EATEN BY THE CRACK AND WAS ERASED FROM HISTORY!! Ahh, but it's not really Rory, it's just a Nestene duplicate… 🙁

    "I'm missing something obvious, Rory, something big, something right slap in front of me, I can feel it!"
    "Yeah, you probably are."
    "I'll get it in a minute…" (realisation dawns)
    (poke) "Hello again."
    "Hello."
    (pause) "How have you been?"
    "Good, yeah, good… I mean, Roman."

    "How can you be here?"
    "I… don't know. It's kind of fuzzy."
    "Fuzzy…"
    "Well, I died and I turned into a Roman. It's very distracting."

    The scene between Rory and Amy, where she finally remembers him, is so sweet and touching and sad. Great acting by both Karen and Arthur.

    And then the ending… Oh. My. God. The scene in slow motion where the Doctor is dragged into the Pandorica, River desperately tries to get out of the TARDIS, and Amy is dying in Rory's arms… and all the while this beautiful, haunting, lullaby-like music swells… It's gorgeous and heartbreaking and I cry every time I watch it. 🙁

    And the last shot, where we see all the stars burst into supernovae around the Earth, is so depressing – you can't possibly guess how the heck are they going to get out of this kind of trouble…

  35. echinodermanicus says:

    <img src="http://i51.tinypic.com/2chlvkg.gif"&gt;

    I loved writing it.

  36. who_cares86 says:

    The Auton plot-twist has to be one of my favourite moments in the show. I'd been wanting them back for a while since of all the big monsters they seemed to have gotten the short end of the stick with only one episode. Whereas the Daleks, Cyberman, Master and Sontarans all at least got two and then Moffat brings them back in the most surprising and shocking way possible.

  37. CBG says:

    Not prepared, you are. =)

  38. thefireandthehearth says:

    OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

    No, seriously, this is my thought process throughout the last, oh ten minutes of the episode.

    "Wait, Rory? Aw, all the sads that Amy can't remember him. But wait! The ring! Yes, and Doctor, try and figure out what's in box. Aaand now I ship River/TARDIS. Wait, now we're in Amy's time? Oh shit, that date! Wait, the Nestene Consciousness? And Rory's a robot? No! But Amy's remembered him! But the Doctor's getting captured! Wait, there's nothing in the Pandorica? IT'S A TRAP?! LET HIM OUT! HOLY- oh, Rory and Amy are sweet- OH FUCK, HE SHOT HER! NOOOO! RIVER, RUN! OH SHIT, A WALL! AAAA, EXPLOSIONS! DID THE FUCKING BACKGROUND MUSIC CUT OUT? 'SILENCE WILL FALL?' MOFFAT, YOU JACKASS! FUUUUUUU-"

    And yeah, that's all I'm going to say, except that there is no fucking way Mark is prepared.

    <img src="http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/088/e/b/Amy_is_confused_by_Stripesandstars.jpg"/&gt;
    By Stripesandstars on Deviantart

  39. Goldensage says:

    Weird formatting, but huh.

    This episode is very hard to review. I loved all of it.

    I called that the Doctor was inside the Pandorica – because he is a 'trickster' character. Oh, Doctor.

    Since everybody else will surely have covered everything, I'll say little.

    The music during the ending sequence – it's called 'The Life and Death of Amy Pond'. My heart breaks a bit every time I listen to it.

    I started to really like Rory in this episode – I think the armor helped.
    Waiting a week for the next episode was painful. So, so painful.

  40. Minish says:

    WHO let Rory out of the Disco Room?

    • Faustine Lucretia says:

      I DONT KNOW. WHY DIDN'T HE BRING DONNA AND ROSS. NOT COOL.

    • Elexus Calcearius says:

      You know, with comments like this, people might start suspecting that we're kidnapping fictional characters and keeping them for ourselves. Which is a complete lie.

      *locks door on disco room*

      • Minish says:

        We'd never do such a thing.

        <img src=http://www.reason4smile.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/20071106_do-not-enter.jpg>

  41. Caroline says:

    As I've said in the past, I was not at all impressed with series 5 up until "Vincent and the Doctor," then "The Lodger." After those two episodes, I was sold on Eleven and Amy. Then I saw "The Pandorica Opens" and I went from "Eleven and Amy are pretty good" to "MOAR RORY!" Seriously, this finale is one of the most fucked-up things I've seen on Doctor Who, and I mean that in a very good way. 🙂

    Also, I am excite! You've got the finale (we have to wait till Monday? D: ) and the Christmas episode to go, then we can all be NOT PREPARED together when series 6 starts! 😀

    • plummy says:

      I am directly with you–Series 5 was not working for me right until Vincent/The Lodger, when I flipped around and started to really enjoy it. This finale was CRAZY!

  42. burritosaurus says:

    Oh. Well, that makes a lot of sense. I did like them A LOT more in this episode (I've never seen them in old ones, at least not yet). This one little dismembered cyber was so scary and not a laughing matter at all.

    • Stephen_M says:

      As whoever did the episode guide for this over on TV Tropes put it:

      "Yeah? You and whose body?"
      The one coming around the corner and picking its head up. Huh. Shit.

      As for the old Cybers… actually, in an attempt to both give a good recommendation AND avoid spoilers for the old series, track down a Big Finish audio called "Spare Parts". It deals with the creation of the Mondas cybermen (uh, the original series versions aren't from Pete's World) and is ULTRA creepy and very very good.

  43. VicarPants says:

    <img alt="" src="http://i.imgur.com/Bkssi.gif"&gt;

    VINCENT. HAI! 😀

    …and it's not a good day. 🙁 (Looking back on the episode, now, and considering it's 1890, I wonder–might THIS actually be what pushes Vincent to take his life?) D:

    WHAT IS IT.

    STORMCAGE OMG.

    River, you fabulous, FABULOUS, endlessly adorable creature.

    <img alt="" src="http://i.imgur.com/0d6kf.gif"&gt;

    And now she gets to be an art thief or something? I love art thievery on its own. When it's River Song, it's like Christmas.

    (The back of the painting when she shines the torch on it kind of looks like a painted-over draft of Starry Night, IMO.)

    LIZ. LIZ TEN omg.

    And then hoshittheRING. (Can we just take a moment to acknowledge the luminous beauty of Karen Gillan's eyes?)

    Oh, River.

    <img alt="" src="http://i.imgur.com/1WTOn.gif"&gt;

    TARDIS asplode? D:

    <img alt="" src="http://i.imgur.com/ADuA5.gif"&gt;

    STONE. FUCKING. HENGE.

    <3 <3 <3

    UNDER-HENGE. (Oh man I want this to be real so badly.)

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/h4T99.gif&quot; alt="">

    FFF CYBERHEADTWITCH.

    Everything is coming. And everything is pissed. D:

    "LOOK AT ME IMMA TARGET!"

    Cyberhead mother of SHIT. D: D: D:

    JFC IT'S RORY. RORY. RORY. RORY IS ALIVE. RORY IS…A ROMAN. (???)

    <img alt="" src="http://i52.tinypic.com/25tf1cg.gif"&gt;

    omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

    oh gosh the whole Rory/Doctor scene is just sheer LOVABILITY.

    "Did she miss me?" Is it too early in the episode for me to start crying, here? 'Cause I did.

    "I'm a thing, I'll kill you!"

    WAT.

    AMY REMEMBERS HIIIM! ^__^

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/B3QOY.gif&quot; alt="">

    FUCKING HELL HE'S AN AUTON. THEY ARE MY LEAST FAVOURITE MONSTERS, EVER. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE, NOW.

    WHAT.

    WHAT.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/amBNo.gif&quot; alt="">

    AND HE JUST SHOT AMY.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/VXAh1.gif&quot; alt="">

    WHAT.

    IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.

    Oh, and the Doctor is totally fucked and the planets are blipping into silent darkness.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/NZ6VL.gif&quot; alt="">

    Okay, then.

    Fucking hell, Steven Moffat. Where would you like me to send paperwork when I sue you for causing brain damage via blunt force drama?

  44. who_cares86 says:

    What this episode does to the viewer:

    <img src="http://oi52.tinypic.com/qwzg55.jpg"&gt;

  45. Hypatia_ says:

    I love the way this one begins. So much timey-wimeyness, not to mention River Song being completely badass several times (“You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe.” “You wouldn’t answer your phone.”). The image of River stopping to draw a little stick-figure cartoon of herself before busting out of prison is hilarious. How did she get hallucinogenic lipstick in what appears to be a very seriously maximum-security facility? Whatever, River Song is just. That. Awesome.

    “Invasion of the Hot Italians”. I love Amy’s delivery of that line. I will now forever think of that whenever I read about Roman Britain.

    The (bits of) Cyberman saying, “You will be assimiliated.” Really? First Liz 10 quotes Star Wars, now a Cyberman quoting Star Trek. Cybermen are a bit like the Borg, I guess.

    RORY! RORYRORYRORYRORY!! I have kind of a huge crush on Rory (I remember mentioning, back in Series 1, that we had not yet met the character I have a crush on. In the bizarre and unlikely event anyone was wondering, it’s Rory) so I was terribly sad when he died, and so very happy when he came back. But, of course, he hasn’t really come back. He’s an Auton who thinks he’s Rory. And right as Amy remembers him…yeah, too much tragedy, let’s not even go there.

    Speaking of tragedy…the Doctor is that terrifying thing the Pandorica was constructed to contain. “There was a goblin. Or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. Nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it — one day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.” And the crazy thing is, it’s true, in every sense. He’s the bogeyman for every sort of monster, but everything that quote says, he’s done to the good guys too. And there’s no doubt he knows it.

    • anobium says:

      "now a Cyberman quoting Star Trek"

      Totally fair. Star Trek quoted the Cybermen first.

    • Reddi says:

      Cybermen came before the Borg, by over a decade. They started assimilating first. Trek quotes Who, not the other way around.

  46. Elexus Calcearius says:

    Well, isn’t this a fantastic episode?

    Actually, it’s a wonderful finale all together, and my favourite in all of NuWho. Obviously I’m only talking about ‘The Pandorica Opens’ today, but its still such an awesome piece of work.

    Firstly, I love the cold open. The fact that it’s so long immediately makes us take notice, and says ‘this is different, this is epic’. It was great how Moffat tied in the many characters we’d seen across the season (even if a tiny voice in me thought it suspicious how only character Eleven had met took part in it). My two favourite scenes from the beginning scene would be 1) revisiting Van Gogh and 2) River’s break-out. It was so wonderful to see Van Gogh again, even if it was chilling to see him in pain. And it makes you wonder; is it insinuation that in the Whoinverse, fear that he’d just seen his friends in an explosion which partly drove him to suicide? As for River’s break-out, I don’t know, its simply epic. I’m not a crazy River fangirl, but the set up and how easily she breaks out, not to mention that adorable little drawing makes for such an amazing scene.

    I definitely like the setting for the period; Roman invasion of England, right by Stonehenge. I remember when Cleopatria walked in, however, going “history fail! She was dead by this point!” Thankfully, this was acknowledged, and it was only the soldiers who fail at history. (But seriously. Wouldn’t that be equal to a modern day person thinking that Ronal Reagan was still the American president?)

    The tension about what the Pandorica is, was built expertely. My friend and I spent the entire episode rattling off ideas; “a robot!”, “a cosmic force”, “hope!”, “nothing”, “the Doctor”. Those last two were my friend’s, so I guess she comes to the closest. There was nothing, and then the Doctor was in there. Yay!

    But in my opinion, the reveal of the Pandorica was nothing compared to the brilliance of seeing Rory return. Now, I’ll admit, I was a leetle bit spoiled about it, but it didn’t spoil his impact at all. Him rushing in to rescue Amy, and cradling her in his arms. The way the Doctor doesn’t even register it; its just been so natural for him to be back, that he forgets that he’s supposed to be dead. That’s such an unbelievably Doctor thing to do. And once he finally realises, the scene is pure comedic love. First, the Rory poke;

    <img src=http://i53.tinypic.com/2n07lo1.gif>

    And then, these delightful little exchanges.
    Doctor: I don’t mean to be rude, but you died.
    Rory: Yeah, I know. I was there.

    And:

    Rory: I died, and turned into a Roman. Its very distracting.

    Can I have that last one on a shirt? The thing I love about these is that they highlight the absurdist nature of Doctor Who. I character can die, be wiped from existence, and come back as a totally different person from a different time period, and he describes it all as ‘distracting’. Understatement at its finest, folks.

    Of course, while this episode has wonderful comedy, it hits it home at the other end of the scale; epic and angst.

    In the angst corner: the Doctor hinting to Amy that she’s lost something more, but that people are never truly lost to us. You can see how much it’s killing the Doctor to keep this from her. Of course, its nothing compared to him explaining to Rory that Amy, his fiancé, the girl he’s dreamed about, doesn’t remember him. That’s got to hurt. The winner has to be Rory desperately trying to cling to his personality, forcing himself to remain human, and Amy finally remembering who he is; and just as she tells him, he loses control, and kills her. God. I mean, I didn’t really think they’d kill Amy off, but it still hurt me.

    In the epic corner; The Doctor’s speech. I mean, come on, what can’t you say about this speech? It is pure, unadulterated badass. The Doctor is going up again every major alien race he’s ever fought and saying “you think you can take me? Yeah right!” Of course, it’s incredibly ironic knowing what comes next, but while you’re in the moment, I can’t help but feel my blood race.

  47. jackiep says:

    From the dazed Roman with the red smear on his face telling them that Cleopatra will see them now, it's clear that the Roman Autons didn't actually know that they were fakes. As River said "even my lipstick worked on them". Which rather gives the image that River must have had to snog the ENTIRE LEGION one at a time to pull that one off! There's a lovely bit in the background where the "Romans" are admiring the cyberguns. Real Romans would have done just that.

    How heartbreaking is it when Rory suddenly realised that he wasn't real after all? From his shock at the fact that Amy didn't remember him to his desperately telling Amy to run, just as she remembered who he was.

    The Doctor's Boss speech was terrific, but tempered by the fact that the Evil Alliance were all sniggering up there in space, as the plan was to definitely let him have the Pandorica all to himself.

    Actually, the contents of the Pandorica did surprise me. I thought it would open up and he'd be already inside it, possibly having spend thousands of years in there and even more probably raving mad.

    I just wish that Mr. Moffatt had written (maybe for Comic Relief or something) the scene where the Evils all tried to sit / slither / park around a table and attempt to negotiate with each other how they were going to deal with the threat of the Doctor, with them all knowing that whatever prison they'd ever devised in the past he'd so far always escaped (so yes, there'd have to be at least a minimally comfortable cushion). They'd have had to pool their knowledge, which means that they'd have each had to admit the embarrassing ways in which he'd previously escaped them all. ("No air ducts bit enough to crawl through", "No keys", "strap his limbs down", "don't give him the chance to talk his way out of it, just shove him in the box"), no doubt followed by many a "you let him do WHAT?" There was probably an entire sub-committee set up to decide if they'd leave the lights on or off when the box was locked!

    And then the Axis of Evils didn't even have time to head off to the nearest pub to celebrate because the Universe ended! Oops!

    • masakochan says:

      I love the mental image you gave with that 2nd to last paragraph. xD

      There's also the bit where all the alien ships are flying in around Stonehenge while the Doctor's talking, and someone had made a comment going "Just imagine a giant group Skype session going on between all the aliens during Eleven's speech, and a few of them are laughing about flying away just to let him think he's got it in the bag for this."

    • VicarPants says:

      *keeps reading Evils as Elvis*

      So, yeah, I was picturing the King in his rhinestone jumpsuit being an enemy of the Doctor.

  48. hassibah says:

    "Never ignore a coincidence unless of course you're busy then always ignore it"

    I don't know if this is a really weird opinion but yes, this post basically sums up why this episode is my favourite in the entire season. The total WTFery and RORY IS BACK and at first it is both the happiest and saddest thing ever at the same time because his memory still isn't coming back and KAREN and everybody being so damn good at acting and my favourite variation on "was it all in their heads the whole time" that I've ever seen and another churchill speech from 11 and the cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers. Just. Holy. Shit.

    Also, River looks great.

  49. Anseflans says:

    <Insert witty and insightful comment here>

    BECAUSE I CANNOT SAY ANYTHING RATIONAL AT THIS MOMENT.

  50. SusanBones says:

    THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

    This has to be the best Dr Who music EVER!

    • Senator Fan Sky says:

      Murray Gold has never put a note wrong since 2005, but he's really excelled himself in Series 5 and this finale in particular!

  51. Angie says:

    OMG THIS EPISODE. MARK, I <3 YOU.

    The Pandorica Opens. I LOVE how this whole season is woven together.

    VINCENT. Seeing and hearing Vincent weeping is just so wrenching and heart-hurty. Churchill and Bracewell! River! Lix X! Everything else! AND ESPECIALLY RORY!

    When this aired, I went from comfortably curled up in my chair, to sitting on the edge of said chair as soon as I saw Vincent. Shortly thereafter, I flung myself from my comfy chair to lie on my tummy close to the TV screen, like I was a kid. I don't think my mouth ever closed during this episode, my jaw just dropped and stayed open. This is pretty much my favorite finale, followed by the series 1 finale.

    EPIC EPISODE OF AWESOMENESS.

    • Senator Fan Sky says:

      Agreed, more than any other series, this feels like it's been 1 big story from beginning to end. I love it!

  52. who_cares86 says:

    I love the fact that they brought Vincent back if only because it finally caused the people who clearly don't understand depression and mental illness to accept his suicide after seeing his future. To some people apparently good news cures everything.

    • VicarPants says:

      What if he thought the vision/painting of the TARDIS blowing up meant that his friends were going to die and he'd never see them again, and could that be the reason behind his suicide? 🙁

      • ffyona says:

        Well I'm sure that didn't help, but he was very seriously ill before that. It's strongly implied, I think, that the depression in itself was enough to kill him. It's a terribly sad but very important statement and I'm glad they made it like that. Anything else would have cheapened the good work they did in portraying his illness earlier.

      • who_cares86 says:

        That's why I love it. This episode gives a very clear reason as to why Vincent killed himself, which wasn't all that clear in the actual episode which as I mentioned before baffled some people, who didn't quite grasp the depth of his depression and mental issues.

        • Mitch says:

          Really? A fictional problem gave a very clear reason for why a real person killed himself? Because that sounds like the exact opposite of true, and more along the lines of hella offensive.

          • who_cares86 says:

            Why? Doctor Who is always giving alternative reasons for why historical events happen. It's not offensive in fact it implies that Van Gogh was indeed a happier (but still mentally unstable) man after visiting the museum before these visions started to torment him once again ultimately leading to the death of this fictionalised version of Van Gogh.

            • James says:

              The fact that he is being tormented by visions is offensive. It is an ableist trope. It reduces his mental illness to some sort of tragic super power. I don't know what you mean by "again", because "Vincent and the Doctor" steers clear of this by having his ability to see the alien fit in with having different filters because he is neuroatypical. He doesn't have visions of the future, he just perceives the world around him differently. Along comes Moffat, who has a history of ableism in his writing, and suddenly all Vincent is allowed to do is scream because he is ~tormented by visions~ and be dismissed as an inconvenience to those around him.

              Richard Curtis gave the Doctor that beautiful speech at the end of "Vincent and the Doctor" to explain why Vincent would still kill himself. If people can't wrap their heads around the nature of depression and mental illness from that, that's their problem. You don't need to sully the memory of a real man by reducing him to the "mad prophet" figure. It is not catering to the audience, it's catering to Moffat's plot.

              • karate0kat says:

                To be fair, when Amy asks how Vincent knew, the Doctor says:

                "The stones. These stones are a great big transmitter, broadcasting a warning to everyone, everywhere, to every timezone. 'The Pandorica is opening.' Even poor Vincent heard it, in his dreams."

                So it wasn't really that he was tormented by visions, which is something River, who has never met Vincent, threw out and the Doctor never responded to. He had one vision, which I assume he was only able to receive because he was, as you put it, "neuroatypical". I don't think that invalidates his very real depression.

                • Mitch says:

                  But people are trying to MAKE it invalidate his depression, by saying that's the reason he killed himself. Which is bullshit and demeaning. And there are a lot of inaccuracies in this episode, mental/historical/other, to which the Doctor never responds. The Doctor knowing, as he does, *pretty much everything*, his silence speaks volumes when it comes to the views of the man who wrote him.

                  • who_cares86 says:

                    It's not invalidating his depression. The whole point is that these visions made his depression worse again.

                    • Mitch says:

                      That is absolutely invalidating his depression! It's saying he needed the visions to worsen his depression, when in reality THAT IS JUST WHAT HAPPENS. You're saying they made his depression worse again, but they DIDN'T. Vincent is a REAL PERSON. The fact that he was portrayed so realistically in "Vincent and the Doctor" makes this even worse, because it's an about-face.

                      And saying that this FAKE PLOT POINT made a REAL PERSON so depressed that he KILLED HIMSELF is unbelievably shitty. I can't even comprehend how many people seem not to understand this.

                    • Stephanie says:

                      I agree with you, but I don't think they are talking about the real Vincent. I mean, the museum scene that they're saying "made his depression better" (which is not true. The Doctor even says so) didn't happen to the real Vincent.

                      I agree with what you are saying about the ableism in the theory, though.

    • Mitch says:

      Um, except this future isn't canon, in the sense of real life being canon. People who don't understand depression and mental illness need to look into it on their own, not see this episode and say "Well, no wonder he killed himself, he was seeing visions and in pain from them!" That's extremely offensive to Vincent and to other REAL PEOPLE with mental illnesses.

      I'm sure you mean well, but this comment is really offensive to me. As a person with depression and a person who understands Vincent's actual life. The Doctor's speech to Amy at the end of Vincent's episode explained the potential reasons for his suicide in a very caring and realistic way, not relying on shock and condescension.

  53. buyn says:

    I really thought Ten was going to pop out of the Pandorica. I mean, it would make sense for The Doctor to be in there. He does kill lots of people intentionally and not intentionally. But then it was empty and it clicked.

    • Mauve_Avenger says:

      I thought it was going to be Eleven from the future (well, his future, anyway). So, the evil league would have had to capture future!Doctor and imprison him in the past, to lure present!Doctor to…I have no idea what the point of doing that would be.

      Obviously, I didn't really think it through enough; I mainly just thought it would look cool/funny to have present and future Eleven interacting with each other (them-self?), even if (and maybe especially since?) both are in obvious danger.

  54. keepthepunkrock says:

    haha! 😀
    this is flawless and 100% accurate.

  55. jennywildcat says:

    FINALE TIME, EVERYONE!! (There is no order to any of this – just go with it)

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Oh%20Crap%20gifs/24dg6k7.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    LOOK EVERYONE! MARK IS REVIEWING "THE PANDORICA OPENS" IN THE COMMENTS!!!!

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Happy%20Surprise%20gifs/2qdz9ywjpg.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    RIVER SONG AND LIZ TEN IN THE MUSEUM!!

    <img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Gifs/orig-12458471jpg.gif&quot; />

    STONEHENGE AND ROMANS!!

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Happy%20Surprise%20gifs/i5nnsg.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    RORY IS ALIIIIIIVE!! (and a Roman) BUT MOSTLY ALIVE!

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Happy%20Surprise%20gifs/eclecticmuse-CelebrationDance.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    CYBERMAN HEAD ATTACKING AMY!!

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Oh%20Crap%20gifs/tumblr_lhq5nut8681qf439xo1_500.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    THE DOCTOR VERBALLY PWNS EVERYONE!!

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Happy%20Surprise%20gifs/34jd2f9.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    WAIT – RORY IS REALLY AN AUTON AND SHOT AMY???? WHAAAAAATTT??

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Oh%20Crap%20gifs/surprisedkitty.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    THE EVIL LEAGUE OF EVIL PUTS THE DOCTOR IN THE PANDORICA?? THE TARDIS IS GOING TO EXPLODE?

    <img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y194/Jenny_Wildcat/Happy%20Surprise%20gifs/tumblr_lf289j1REw1qdh06a.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    NO ONE IS PREPARED!!!

  56. Selthia says:

    This new format was fun and BEST FINALE EVER.

  57. Starsea28 says:

    The Doctor's Stonehenge speech IS awesome… but it's also tragic. It's like a greater, bigger version of the moment in Victory of the Daleks when the Doctor names the Daleks and thereby enables them to come back bigger and stronger than ever. The enemies aren't there to take the Pandorica, they're there to ensure it does its job. And the Doctor's speech lets them know that the trap has worked. Yes, Doctor, they know it's you. They know who and what you are. But you don't, you still don't. You are all of the awesome things in your speech but you are also this.

    "A goblin… a trickster… a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. Nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it – one day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world."

    It's time to look in the mirror and see the beast looking back at you.

  58. masakochan says:

    The story of Pandora's Box:

    "In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on earth. Zeus ordered Hephaestus, the god of craftsmanship, to create her and he did, using water and earth. The gods endowed her with many talents; Aphrodite gave her beauty, Apollo music, Hermes persuasion, and so forth. Hence her name: Pandora, "all-gifted".

    When Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Epimetheus, Prometheus' brother. With her, Pandora had a jar which she was not to open under any circumstance. Impelled by her natural curiosity, Pandora opened the box-jar, and all evil contained escaped and spread over the earth. She hastened to close the lid, but the whole contents of the jar had escaped, except for one thing which lay at the bottom, which was Hope."

    The scene of the Doctor being shoved into the Pandorica can be seen from two views: on hand- the Alliance is shoving the 'monster' who 'has the blood of a billion galaxies on his hands' inside the Pandorica. From their POV- they are locking the 'evil' into the box.

    On the other hand (or, from the audience POV): the Alliance is locking up the 'hope' that would have saved the universe. Thus, NO MORE UNIVERSE FOR YOU.

    • Elexus Calcearius says:

      As a Greek mythology nerd, I honestly love looking at this episode from the point of view of the original myth. When I was first watching it, I half expected the embodiment of 'hope' to come out of the Pandorica.

  59. hilarius11 says:

    This episode, and specifically this cliffhanger, was the first time I ended a two parter without any single notion of how the Doctor was going to get out of it.
    Literally. No idea.

    • virtual_monster says:

      I had many ideas. And they were all wrong. As wrong as chocolate-coated Brussels sprouts. Which is pretty badly wrong.

    • Fuchanicus says:

      Same here. I finished the episode and was seriously like, "WTF. How are they going to fix this?" Amy's dead (AMYYY NOOOO!!!), the Doctor's in the Pandorica, River's in the exploding TARDIS, and Rory's an Auton. No. Idea.

  60. masakochan says:

    Same here.

  61. mkjcayloroniae says:

    Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus intra Pandorica!

    Exspecta paulisper.

    Nequaquam!

    Ego me adiuvet Roman!

    Quo feror armatae?

    (Item for dog Google translator, solebam Scire facias melius. Miror quomodo haec mala interpretatur.)

    • Tauriel_ says:

      ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM ROMANI ITE DOMUM

      😛

  62. AuntVixen says:

    As I got to the first GIF, I thought, oh, I hope that boldface WTF was the whole review.

    And it was! 🙂

    I'm so pleased. I love watching people watch things for the first time.

  63. AuntVixen says:

    (I mean, yes, okay, the comments. But I'm really happy the main review is just "ASAFHJKSGFDJKSL:LKGJFHKFLSD".

  64. Dontcallmewave says:

    I wonder if mark still thinks Ten is better than Eleven.

  65. rainbowsinside says:

    Brilliant! A comment review!

    This was my same reaction to the episode just a few days ago. Me and my boyfriend watched The Lodger one night and I was filled with such joy by that episode that I just needed MOAR WHO! So while he was trying to tell me he had to go to bed early I whined until he agreed to watch one more. Not realizing what episode it was, we started it up.

    At the end we just sat there with our mouths open because HOLY GOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED??? Then he says, "Well looks like I'm going to bed late tonight." and started the next one.

  66. Albion19 says:

    When the Pandorica opened and you realised it's for the Doctor? HOLY SHIT!! :O

    lol at your comment review, only way for this episode really!

  67. C. Hellena Eligia says:

    Love the new format!

  68. Sane Snaky Fort says:

    What's this? I’ve just somehow stumbled onto this site by accident.

    Doctor Who? What on earth is Doctor Who? Is this some kind of creative writing site or something? It sounds as if this is a TV show, but that can't be right. There's never been a show called Doctor Who. I wish there was, because reading all your comments, it sounds really exciting. But it can’t be a real show. If there was anything that amazing I’d know. Why are you all writing about something that's never existed?

    This is a bit too weird for me, guys. Sorry. I'll just leave you to whatever it is you're doing.

  69. WingedFlight says:

    I have so much love for this episode (and the one to come). SO MUCH LOVE. Pretty much everything I could say has already been said, but I'll just reiterate a few things.

    YESYESYESRORYYYYYYYYY.

    OHNOOHNOOHNORORYYYYYY.

    And, oh yeah, some box thing and some explosion thing or something. RORYYYYYY.

  70. carma_bee says:

    This is totally my favourite finale ever.

    So I do love a huge amount of things in this episode, but something I really love is Matt's acting at the end, when he's being dragged into the Pandorica and he's kicking his feet into the ground, and then when he's in the Pandorica trying to convince them to let him out. I just love it.The Doctor can see that it's pretty hopeless but he's so desperate and he's starting to cry, and Matt's great. Great acting from everyone actually.

    And of course I love when Rory comes back. I love how the Doctor doesn't bat an eye at Rory being alive at first, he just falls right into how it was before, until he realizes. I probably rewatched those scenes the most out of all of them.

  71. Hotaru-hime says:

    Basically: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaklfhlASHDF;ASHIO;GDA;WEFKL;ASNFDN;ALSHDlkdsfja;lsfdkh
    RORY! YAY RORY!
    WAIT. WAIT. OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST KILL AMY OH MY GOD
    RIVER OH MY GOD YOU ARE IN AN EXPLODING TARDIS
    DOCTOR YOU ARE STUCK IN A BOX AND NOT A GOOD ONE
    I KNEW IT WAS RELATED TO PANDORA'S BOX.
    There may be something more coherent on Monday.

  72. NysseriaTrakenus says:

    Random Fact: My old school song went to the Smile Darn Ya Smile tune!

  73. Claire says:

    Maybe should have not bracketed the link. Doh.

  74. Mark, the review style here was nearly as epic as the episode itself! You totally had me for a minute there, scrolling down through the gifs and think you had maybe possibly had the gall to do an all-gif no-text review. AND THEN THE COMMENTS. Felt equal parts liveblog, equal parts in depth review and AWESOME. Bravo, sir!

    The Pandorica Opens, omg. My favorite series finale of Doctor Who thusfar– possibly my favorite season finale of any show EVER. It leaves you so full of WTF goodness you aren't even pondering if the next half will let you down as much as you are wondering how the hell- just. HOW. THE. HELL.

    Going to have to echo Stephen_M's comment: this is how you do a freaking series arc. Not to say that what Davies does is bad, but there should be another word for it. The Moff has been laying the groundwork for this all season, and you're STILL not prepared Mark, because we're not done yet!

    I also love the- scale?- of this finale? That's not the right word, because on the one hand it's huge- you have like every villain and their cousin, the Universe is freaking collapsing, and Time itself is in danger of going too. But at the same time, the threat is concentrated and focused on the characters we have come to know and care for over the course of the series. Sure you can show crowds running and screaming and maybe giving a couple of extras a moment and some lines of dialogue to show you that the crowd is composed of living and breathing people, but your audience still can't invest themselves in so many things at once. So what do you do? You focus. It's part of the reason the Cyberman works so well- the one on one menace is so much more thrilling than an invasion of Cybermen. You can waste your CGI budget on animating a zillion Daleks flying through the sky shooting lasers out of their egg beaters, or you can have a large threat represented by a smaller space of real representatives focused on one single target, dragging the Doctor physically to his demise. The audience only has so much emotional sympathy- and here it's distributed with expertise.

    And does the script, do the actors ever milk it. A wonderful performance from everyone! I'll say it again: Matt and Arthur have such chemistry, equal parts comedy and drama, I could watch those two play off each other forever. The scene where the Doctor discovers Rory is classic comedy, and I laugh every single time. And then not long after, Rory's heart breaks and the Doctor is talking of miracles- I'm nearly crying happy tears. (Like Amy! And then with Amy!) And then oh god, the Doctor is sputtering like a scared child (has an actor ever before had such a simultaneous range of young and old?), River is resigning herself to death in an exploding TARDIS, and Rory is mourning over his reunited love, knowing he has made the worst mistake he could ever make. It's such a dark, depressing hour as things go silent and the stars fade out, and yet for the first time when "to be continued" appears on the screen it's not dread or frustration you feel- but hope.

    "My experience has been that there is, surprisingly, always hope."
    -The Doctor.

    Part 2 on Monday. Is the Doctor's experience about to be completed?

    "YOU ARE NOT PREPARED."
    -Us.

  75. Openattheclose says:

    Best cliffhanger ever or best cliffhanger ever?
    <img src="http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter710/tumblr_l72hpjHMeg1qax6x6o1_500.gif"&gt;
    And it's so obvious in retrospect that it's the Doctor.

    EDIT: ALSO!!! VORTEX MANIPULATOR OFF THE WRIST OF A HANDSOME TIME AGENT?!?
    <img src="http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter710/Doctor/tumblr_lgjpg7ZRoB1qced9m.gif"&gt;

  76. Fusionman29 says:

    Sorry Mark, Real life happened. I can't do trvia anymore. ____If I can I'll do it again. Until then can someone do it instead?____I love this episode though,

  77. mia says:

    I love this format of reviews and I LOVE VINCENT <3<3<3

  78. OMG_HP_ROCKS says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!
    <img src=http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter710/Harry%20Potter/tumblr_liehu4vevl1qc649a.gif>
    OMG, could JKR have created a bigger cliffhanger?
    Harry's trapped in that Azkaban cell!
    <img src=http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter710/howdoeshedoitp1.gif>
    All the Death Eaters got together and put him there to help save the universe!
    <img src=http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter710/2nr0cwk.gif>
    BAMF Never Songbottom is stuck in the fiendfyred Room of Requirement!
    <img src=http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter710/g600616996.gif>
    Ron returns!
    <img src= http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter
    And then he stabs Hermione while under the Imperius Curse!
    <img src=http://i947.photobucket.com/albums/ad311/Chritter710/23sgrk3.gif>
    I can't wait for the next chapter! How on earth is everything going to be resolved?

  79. Ashley says:

    I've really gotta re-watch this episode because I love it, it was simply amazing.

    Nothing I can say that other haven't already expressed in amazing GIFs!

    But I do hope once you've processed, you'll come back with a fuller review 😉 tho of course I forgive your shock, because it's all quite shocking!

  80. Pseudonymph says:

    I don't have much to add to the wonderful commentary that has already gone on.

    I just want to ask: How does River wear that hallucinogenic lipstick without, you know, making herself hallucinate?

    • Hypatia_ says:

      The same way Captain John wore paralytic lipgloss without paralyzing himself and Saffron wore knock-out lipstick without knocking herself out.

      Which is to say, I have no idea. But it seems to be a thing.

      • Pseudonymph says:

        That's the conclusion I came to.

        Or maybe she does hallucinate. . .

      • Fuchanicus says:

        I think in Firefly (or something else I've seen this in), they put a wax coating on their lips before applying the lipstick so it won't affect them. It won't help if you lick your lips but otherwise, it's a good idea!

        • plummy says:

          Haha, they actually used that explanation in the Batman and Robin movie from the 90s–Robin uses wax lips to resist the poisonous kiss of…someone. Poison Ivy, maybe?

    • Mauve_Avenger says:

      Yeah, it's a somewhat popular trope, but I don't think anyone ever explains how it works. Maybe the substance in the lipstick is something you can build up tolerance/an immunity to?

      And now I'm imagining River tripping out on drugs to prep herself.

    • Elexus Calcearius says:

      Maybe the twist for the next season will be that everything after The End of Time was just a drug trip on River's behalf.

  81. __Juniper Aurelia__ says:

    Man, three of my favorite episodes of all of Who and I've been late to all of them. 🙁 BUT THIS EPISODE. I JUST… I don't have much to add that hasn't already been wonderfully said by others, but this is definitely my favorite finale. It runs the gamut of emotions and ends on the most epic cliffhanger of them all. I love all the character moments (particularly River's because SHE IS THE BEST), and the cinematic quality of the episode. The Star Wars/Indy touches are a blast, and for once the cybermen are actually frightening. I JUST LOVE IT. AND OMG THE ENDING. When I first watched this episode I sat there in shock for a bit, and then rewatched immediately about three times.

    <img src="http://i56.tinypic.com/rwjgyc.png&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
    <img src="http://i52.tinypic.com/148i2b7.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">

    I wish I had sources for these, but I pulled them off tumblr awhile ago and forgot to write down the artist. If anyone knows who to attribute them to that'd be awesome!

    Btw, I also had to pop in to see if anyone had an explanation for why I woke up this morning with a new name, and a cape, and this weird ruff on my helmet. I just don't know what happened!

  82. OpenInClosus says:

    Mark, if you are around, and you see a BBCAmerica ad on the top-right side of the screen, don't click on it! It's the trailer for Series Six!

  83. Fuchanicus says:

    Oh. So this popped up on my tumblr the other day… thought I'd save it for this episode and all the "Oncoming Storm" stuff, even though it's from the first episode. Too good not to share, at any rate. It makes me giggle.

    <img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lif7zpuOBe1qauci5o1_r1_500.gif"&gt;

    Also, if anyone just wants to listen to the speech over and over and over, with relevant gifs, here you go.

  84. turtle_turtle says:

    <img src="http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/4029/mgquote1.jpg&quot; alt="Mean Girls Meets Doctor Who">

  85. Weston says:

    Yes. This. Is there a Photoshopper in the house?

  86. aeriat says:

    OH GOD. I'VE SAVED SO MANY OF THESE GIF'S. THANK YOU ALL FOR ADDING TO MY NOW FANTASTIC GIF COLLECTION. YOUR DONATION IS APPRICIATED.

    And, on another note, GREATEST FINALE EVAR, y/y??????

  87. exbestfriend says:

    I am going to be super honest and say this may be my favorite review style. Loved it.

  88. Elexus Calcearius says:

    So….all that's left is the season finale, the new Christmas Special, and onto Avatar; The Last Airbender! (I assume that's the 'new watches project' in Mark's twitter). I feel both sad that we're coming to the end of DW, excited for Series Six, and super looking forward to ATLA.

  89. thefireandthehearth says:

    Jack, what mind-blowingly stupid thing did you do now?

  90. Cam says:

    Mark, are you doing any reviews for S6?

  91. aleja23t says:

    Mark, you GENIUS!

    Love, love the new format. Back to the old days 🙂

  92. nextboy1 says:

    Ok, so I've been gone for a week, damn you Life! I've missed so mayn good episodes, but I've read the reviews back and I'm so glad of all the love for Vincent and The Lodger, particularly happy to see plenty of creepy painting posts!

    The Pandorica Opens is just brilliant, thrilling stuff, and as obvious as the twist seems in hindsight, it completely surprised me first time round. Hopefully I'll have more time to comment more tonight for part 2, because, well, I can't say, but I will.

  93. roman_legion_hare says:

    Which segues nicely into my other favorite reveal of the episode: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORY! 😀 😀 😀 AHAHAHAHA OMG, we've been trying so hard to keep it a secret, Mark! YOU NEEDED TO BE UNPREPARED. As were we all, and it should be noted that when I say "we", I am including the Doctor in our merry group of un…prepared…ers? Society of the Underprepared! That's what we are, and happily so. 😀 His delayed reaction is absolutely hilarious, I love how he talks to him for a minute or so as if this is normal without twigging onto the fact that it most certainly is not, and then –

    <img src="http://i53.tinypic.com/mi2w6h.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">

    Haha, YEAH. Love it. 😀 I feel terribly sad for Rory, because Amy doesn't at first remember him (as well as deeply confused as to how he's here and Roman in the first place), at least not consciously. Subconciously, though, she can sense their connection. I love the Doctor's little speech about it when she asks him about the ring, I think he's trying to gently nudge her into remembering.

    "People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces. Little things we can't quite account for. Faces in photographs, luggage, half-eaten meals… rings… Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And… if something can be remembered, it can come back."

    Not only is it beautiful to listen to, but it's absolutely true: I don't believe either that anything is ever forgotten completely. For Amy it is true too. Somewhere, she does remember, because she feels something she can't describe when she looks at the ring. She can't put it in words, because she doesn't know what it is or how to define it, but it's there. Rory is so important to her, that even when she can't remember she still misses him, still longs for him, still grieves. Memories are strange things; and they can play tricks; but the emotions fighting their way to the surface for her are no illusion. She only has to puzzle them out, to figure out what they are and what they mean, piece together the true story, and it will return to her. Eleven knows that too, or at least he wants to – he wants to believe that she can remember Rory, and that in a sense he'll come back. If not for real, then in everyone's memories, not just his. Especially in Amy's, for her sake, so that she can mourn him the way he deserves and that she needs. She's struggling with it, but she doesn't know it, and I think he'd like her to be able to deal with it in order for her to truly heal, so he attempts to stir those hidden memories. Rory was erased from history, but not from Amy's heart, not really. His memory, the memory of losing him, still haunts her and hurts her, though she cannot see it. Does that sound a bit familiar?

    But the worst is really yet to come for them, in the form of the reveal that Rory and the rest of the centurions are not Real Boys, but are in fact Autons. Toys that don't know they're toys, and believe in their disguises. The scene in which Rory struggles to hold onto himself, to his humanity, against the monstrous half of his being, is heartbreaking to watch. Just moments before, echoing Vincent and the Doctor, Amy cried without knowing she was until he pointed it out to her. The part of her that remembered and mourned Rory in that episode is here so overwhelmingly happy to see him again that she can't stop herself from crying tears of joy, from touching his face lovingly while still consciously thinking of him as a stranger. His ill-fated fight against his Auton nature is a horrifying mirror of what happened with Dr. Bracewell in Victory of the Daleks: the parties involved make every effort to hold back the monster within, to remain who they want to be, who they thought they were before the cruel revelation of what they have been concealing inside. Amy does her best to aid them in their struggles, trying to touch that better part of them, to use their memories and emotions to draw out that human part and slay the "dragon". But this time it is unsuccessful; the beast triumphes in the end, and kills the "beauty", our heroine. The darkest of fairy tales we've seen yet in this series. It's all the more awful to watch precisely because because we remember so clearly that it worked the last time – it makes it hurt all the worse to see it fail. It made me appreciate that scene in VotD in hindsight all the more because it acted as a prelude to this, getting us ready and making us think that it could work again. And because Amy remembered it working on Bracewell, she thinks it will work, she is confident in herself and in being able to bring about a positive outcome. Which is her undoing. 🙁

    (cont)

    • roman_legion_hare says:

      On a lighter note, I need to be sentenced to some time in the Cone of Shame because I have not yet mentioned one of the most important aspects of this episode: the return of RIVER SONG! This merits another FUCK YES! So many go to her, really. Breaking out of Stormcage, acquiring a vortex manipulator through devious means, breaking into the Royal Gallery, looking hot in leather, impersonating Cleopatra… yeah, please come be my girlfriend, River. 😀 I love how she talks to the TARDIS, too! And her reaction to Amy's fanwork is hilarious.

      The song that plays over the shots of Amy dying, River trying to escape the malfunctioning TARDIS, and the Doctor being locked into the Pandorica is called "The Life and Death of Amy Pond", and it plays no small part in making the cliffhanger to this episode as wrenching as it is. Murray Gold has once again composed a heartbreakingly beautiful song that is perfect for the scene it accompanies, and it makes me cry all the harder when I watch these scenes. Also responsible for those tears is the acting done by our leads. The look on Amy's face as she is shot, and embraces Rory, and finally falls – ugh, I can't, I just can't. Tears for all of time. And Matt Smith just shatters my heart completely with every look on his expressive face, every inflection in his voice, as he sits helplessly inside the Pandorica, as he begs all of his worst enemies to listen to him and reconsider this. Then, to cap it off, River apologizes to the Doctor and turns to face the impending explosion inside the TARDIS and I'm done, gone, off again. Has there ever been a sadder, bleaker cliffhanger in this show? Maybe in the classic series, I don't know, but certainly not in the revived one. "YOU ARE NOT PREPARED" seems like a gross understatement at this junction.

      List o' thoughts –

      – Vincent. 🙁 🙁 🙁

      – Liz 10! 😀 😀 😀

      – And that is how you make a Cyberman a credible threat. Funny how a lone one in pieces is scarier than a whole army of 'em, isn't it?

      – Love the callback to the epic Doomsday snark battle between the Cybermen and the Daleks.

      – It is really really creepy seeing the marks burnt into the grass, and the door off its hinges at Amy's very very dark house.

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