In the third episode of the second series of Doctor Who, Mickey calls the Doctor and Rose back to earth when a local school begins to produce strangely intelligent children. Going undercover as employees, they discover that an alien race is building an army of brains–through children–to control all of time and space. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Doctor Who.
There’s a lot to like about “School Reunion,” written by Toby Whitehouse, but two large problems hold it back from being a truly great episode. I feel like this script was once much longer; in fact, there was a moment near the end where I was convinced this would be a two-parter. Instead, this story ends up feeling rushed in the beginning and rushed in the end.
This sensation starts right at the beginning of “School Reunion,” though I’m willing to brush it off because it’s neat to see this episode start without any sort of introduction, especially as we cut to the title sequence right after seeing the Doctor as a teacher in this school. I’m not sure that he’s the very best teacher ever, but really, who cares? He’s your physics teacher. While in disguise as a teacher at Deffry Vale School, he finds a student with an uncanny ability to answer complicated questions without hesitation.
Meanwhile, Rose is stuck working in the school’s cafeteria, where the headmaster has decreed that chips be served with every meal. Look, as cheesy as that concept is, you have to hand it to him: it’s utter genius. Using chips as a method of distilling an oil that can heighten the brain activity of teenagers? I’m sorry, I would fall victim to that in less than ten minutes. Fried and/or baked potato products will be the death of me, my friends.
I enjoyed the fact that the high-performing student body gains public attention, if only for the fact that (briefly) the events of this episode don’t happen in a sort of vacuum, that what Headmaster Finch does is not something that is ignored by everyone. This doesn’t ever really happen again, and I suspect it’s because the writers needed an opportunity to bring in Sarah Jane Smith.
I was confused as to why the Doctor had such an excited look on his face, especially when Sarah Jane didn’t seem to recognize him at all. In what is the first example of it so far, one of the Doctor’s old companions returns to the show. (I mean, first example in the new series, as I have no idea if it ever happened before 2005.) When she finds the TARDIS that night, we’re treated to an emotional reunion between the two old friends, especially when Sarah wastes no time confronting him about leaving her behind so far from home. (Yes, I had to consult a map because I had no idea where South Croydon was. JESUS CHRIST, THAT IS SO GODDAMN FAR FROM ABERDEEN. Doctor, what are you doing.)
Re-introducing Sarah Jane is really the only thing that interested me fully throughout “School Reunion.” Watching her interact with Rose is fascinating, since it highlights the jealousy that Rose exhibits whenever someone seems to encroach upon her time with the Doctor. I’m curious if his other companions reacted in the same way if there was more than one person traveling with the Doctor. The ongoing tension between the two of them builds to a boil when they finally have a confrontation leading to each of them reciting the fantastical things they’ve seen with the Doctor. Sarah wins when she brings up the Loch Ness Monster, but the scene serves the purpose to also point out exactly how foolish it is of them to think either one is threatening to the other one.
So, in stating all of this, I do feel like I need to complain about two things in “School Reunion.” First of all, this plot sucks. There. I said it. I love the monsters, I think the Krillitane are creepy, and Anthony Head is totally perfect for the leader of these creatures. I love the idea that Mickey is responsible for getting them there in the first place. I love that it brings all these people together. This is why it’s so disappointing that it fizzles out so poorly by the end of the story. I’m not sure calling the end a giant plot hole is even doing justice to this. I literally do not understand how the Krillitane oil is toxic to everyone but children. I don’t get what the Skasis Paradigm, this “theory of everything,” was ever developed or what it’s use is beyond controlling space and time. So the kids computed the answer to this theory and then….what? So you just kill the Krillitane and then the Paradigm is gone? Can’t someone else just make it? I SERIOUSLY DON’T GET IT.
What is probably a plus for most people, as well, didn’t work for me. I haven’t seen any of the older Doctor Who episodes, so I have no emotional reference for why Sarah Jane and K-9 are important. They are brand new characters to me, so the entire episode felt like all the cool kids were talking about the super awesome time they had that weekend going to the most awesome punk rock show ever and I was busy at home reading Edgar Allan Poe and crying myself to sleep at night. Or something.
That’s not a fair reason to discount the episode. I’m aware of that. I think the show needs to have references like this to the past to maintain its authenticity. It still didn’t do anything for me at all. But I feel it’s important to admit that this episode might mean a lot to people who have been watching Doctor Who for years.
THOUGHTS
- “Think how bad things could possibly be, then add another suitcase of bad.”
- “You can spend the rest of your life with me. But I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on, alone. That’s the curse of the Timelords.” Ugh, SO DEPRESSING. Also I need to watch the serial that address the Time War because I really want to know how the Time Lords died.
- “I’m seeing pigtails and a frilly skirt.”
- Despite not knowing who K-9 really was, I like having the dog around. MOAR.
- I thought Sarah Jane would accompany them, but I guess not. But she does get her own show, yes? Also, did Mickey agree to travel with them at the end of the episode? I couldn’t tell.
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I thought it was spelled out perfectly. In fact, it was pure exposition. The Krillitains had obtained so much alien DNA and biology in their conquests that they the oils they produce themselves is now toxic to them. Their oil (that they were frying the chips in) was what made the kids more intelligent. The Krillitains were using the kids as sort of a distributed processor computer, turning them into a human beowulf cluster. The end result was to unlock a unified theory to master time and space. When the school went boom, so did all their data, so the equation they were trying to unlock was no longer a threat, at least from the Kirllitains.
Also, best lines ever:
Mickey: We need to get inside the school! Do you have like a lockpicking device?
K9: We are in a car!
Mickey: A drill attachment?
K9: We are in a car!
Mickey: Fat lot of good you are.
K9: We are in a car!
Mickey: Wait…we are in a car!
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