In the first part of the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Voldemort is full of glee, Steve Kloves continues to ship Harry/Hermione so goddamn hard, and jesus christ I teared up so much in Godric’s Hollow. And we’re left with a movie that’s actually pretty good? If you’re intrigued, then it’s time for Mark to watch Deathly Hallows. Part I, of course.

I will do my best to make this post as coherent as possible, but I slept for three hours before I had to come to work. Time is LITERALLY oppressing me right now.  So I’ll depend on a format I’ve come to feel comfortable with in moments like these: A LIST.

I can hear you judging me so stop it immediately.

Oh, and for the record, this is full of spoilers, so if you haven’t seen either the movie or read the books, I suggest you not read this.

THE GOOD

• Favorite scene: Bathilda Bagshot in Godric’s Hollow. Every moment she was on screen was steeped in suspense and terror. Beautifully filmed and played out.
• Ron finally being more than just WEEPY and WHINY. Especially after he came back to the Forest of Dean.
• How close it stayed to the book. Obviously, some things were changed or left out, but this is closest to the source material since the first two movies. I dig it.
• Dobby’s scenes in Malfoy Manor and his death. His CGI has gotten better to the point where he almost looks real. (Same with Kreacher, but we’ll get to Kreacher in a moment.)
• The cinematography. Much like my favorite movie, Prisoner of Azkaban, this movie almost made the locations a separate character. I will admit that when Harry and Hermione camped on that one hillside and it looked like it was some sort of ancient lava bed, I did laugh because it looked as if it was the most uncomfortable place to camp ever. Still, so much of this movie was crisp and had a beautiful, grim tone to the color of all the scenes. I appreciated it.
• Hedwig’s death. I thought they were going to get rid of it and was PISSED, but she died and WHY AM I SO HAPPY ABOUT HER DYING?
• Luna Lovegood. Even if she’s speaking lines that aren’t in the book, the writers still nailed her character perfectly. I think Evanna Lynch is perfect for the role.
• Watching Hermione remove the memory of herself from her parents. I never thought we’d SEE that moment, and I instantly teared up. Shit was SO REAL.
• All of Godric’s Hollow, for that matter. Filmed beautifully. I love the shot where Hermione finds Peverell’s grave and the camera turns to Harry in the distance, completely still. And you know he’s found his parents’ grave and then you get that lump in your throat and then everything is depressing and awful. Bravo.
• The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming. Actually, I think the line was slightly changed, but I was so happy it remained.
• I thought everything inside the Ministry of Magic was flawless. Just seeing Dolores Umbridge made my blood boil. But yes, near-perfect execution.
• Neville. <3 <3 <3 <3

THE NOT-SO-GOOD

• I’m going to start with the obvious. Steve Kloves, stop trying to make Harry/Hermione happen! It’s not going to happen! And look, I love Hermione until the end of time when I cease to be, but jesus christ, man. I understand why the dancing scene happened and it was cute in theory, but the entire time, I thought, “THEY’RE GOING TO MAKE OUT, AREN’T THEY? PLEASE DON’T LET THEM MAKE OUT. WHAT THE FUCK.” Even worse, though, is NAKED HERMIONE AND HARRY MAKING OUT. Like….seriously? Steve Kloves, STOP IT. WHY. WHY. WHY.
• Why on earth was Voldemort so happy in this movie??? He was absolutely giddy throughout, except in Harry’s visions of him. The Malfoy Manor scene in the beginning of the movie is supposed to be foreboding, but I felt like we were in some weird alternate version of the Brady Bunch or something. We’re supposed to be terrified of the dude and he’s always laughing. Voldemort doesn’t laugh unless puppies are being crushed by a steamroller made out of your hopes and dreams.
• Hinting at Potter Watch and then not playing it. I mean…without Ron looking for Potter Watch on the radio, they made him look very strange, as if he had no reason to listen to the radio. Well, I suppose you could say that Hermione’s reason she gave, about him NOT wanting to hear bad news sort of works, but they made him look irritating.
• Hinting at Voldemort’s name being a trace and then not explaining it. I mean, they literally included every scene that would lead to Ron returning and telling them how they were found before, and then…nothing. Perhaps it will be explained in Part II?
• No Kreacher’s tale. That part is such a huge moment in the whole series, and we didn’t get a second of it. BOOOOOO.
• The pacing. SO. ODD. I thought that many scenes were allowed to breathe instead of the choppy treatment they were given in Half-Blood Prince, so let me at least appreciate that many parts of this movie were given space. But it still felt really bizarre in terms of flow; it didn’t segue very well a lot of the time, as if you simply were waiting for each part to happen instead of seeing it as a larger narrative. I will admit this might be because I am familiar with the book.
• NO LUPIN. YOU ASSHOLES. How is it going to make his death the most tragic thing imaginable if you don’t include his whole tantrum? UGH. Was so upset that was left out. 🙁 🙁 🙁

EXTRA THOUGHTS

• What happened to the scene that was released before this movie came out where the Death Eaters attacked that bridge in London? THIS WAS CLEARLY IN HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
• Peter Mullan, who played Yaxley, is in EVERY MOVIE EVER, I SWEAR. And it’s so hard to see him as Yaxley because I’m like OH HEY, YOU’RE THAT FUCKED UP PRIEST IN RED RIDING or YOU’RE SWANNEY IN TRAINSPOTTING or YOU’RE SYD IN CHILDREN OF MEN. It was kind of distracting.

I think that’s everything I can think of. I’d give this movie a solid B. Compared to Half-Blood Prince, it’s perfection, but just as a general movie/adaptation, a good B is fine. It’s still strange and the pacing bothered me, but I enjoyed it more than I expected it to.

All right, let’s get to discussing! What did you think of the the film if you saw it? I’m hoping the comments will trigger some other thoughts of mine that I may have glossed over, but again, I’m running on three hours of sleep. Cut me some slack!

GO!