{"id":6951,"date":"2018-08-21T13:00:16","date_gmt":"2018-08-21T20:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/?p=6951"},"modified":"2018-08-13T09:31:43","modified_gmt":"2018-08-13T16:31:43","slug":"mark-watches-steinsgate-episode-21-paradox-meltdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/2018\/08\/mark-watches-steinsgate-episode-21-paradox-meltdown\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Watches ‘Steins;Gate’: Episode 21 – Paradox Meltdown"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the twenty-first episode of Steins;Gate<\/i>, Okabe is faced with an impossible decision. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to watch Steins;Gate<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Trigger Warning: For discussion of grief<\/b><\/p>\n

How do you make a decision like this? How can you trade one life for another?<\/p>\n

The moral dilemma at the heart of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Paradox Meltdown\u00e2\u20ac\u009d produces what I feel is probably going to be the finest episode of this series. I know I said this on video, but it is worth repeating that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m so happy the show slowed down to deal with the ramifications of the final D-mail to be reversed. Oh, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s still tense as hell, but I found that the story was much more internal and emotional than I anticipated, and it made for an enriching experience.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because who are these two characters to Okabe? What do they mean to him? I admit that more time is spent on Mayuri than Kurisu, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to read that one line\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwhere Okabe realizes that Feyris and Ruka gave up the thing they loved to save the world\u00e2\u20ac\u201das Okabe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s admission that he loves Kurisu, whatever form that love may take. Their growing friendship\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s entirely possible they can love one another without that love being romantic\u00e2\u20ac\u201dhas been a defining feature of Steins;Gate<\/i>, though they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve of course been too uncomfortable to ever come right out and say it. I HAVE READ A MILLION FICS WITH THIS TROPE AND I LOVE IT. Oh gods, why do I love this kind of angst so much??? (Actually, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m pretty sure that being in the closet for a huge portion of my life made this trope Very Relatable, but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a subject for an entirely separate essay.) But the angst on display here is complicated by the two realities that Okabe has to fight for. He can erase the ramifications of the first D-mail, which will finally shift the world into the line in which Mayuri does not die. But is it worth it to do that and<\/i> guarantee that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll enter a world in which Kurisu dies instead? I imagine the same logic would play out; no matter how Okabe tried to save Kurisu, she would die in every single iteration of the world line.<\/p>\n

Initially, he refuses to continue with deleting the record of the first D-mail from the SERN servers. He can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t kill Kurisu, but he doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really choose to do anything<\/i> to stop the death of Mayuri. In fact, he becomes virtually static in the story as the day of Mayuri\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s predicted death approaches. He disappears for long stretches of time, he is distant, and he is difficult to talk to. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a brilliant writing choice, though, because it gives so much weight to the impending doom that builds over the course of the first half of the episode. When he accompanies Mayuri to Comima to spend time with her, to observe her as the inevitable hangs over them, you can see how readily he detaches from the world and from his best friend. No matter how many times she tries to get through to him, his is largely unresponsive, lost in his thoughts, consumed by the panic he experiences from knowing Mayuri is still<\/i> going to die.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And Mayuri\u00e2\u20ac\u201dbless her heart\u00e2\u20ac\u201dtries SO HARD. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s GUT-WRENCHING. Soul-crushing! But there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a moment of joy amidst this, and my theory is that Okabe finally accepted that she was going to die in this world line, so he dropped all of his sadness and terror, and he opened back up to Mayuri. Right before the car arrived, LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY WERE. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s important to note how much the mad scientist\/hostage routine plays into that moment, her death, and the scene at the end of the episode over Mayuri\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s grandmother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s grave. What does Mayuri say after she dies? That she was finally useful to Okabe. I read that both as a statement in reference to recent events\u00e2\u20ac\u201dshe hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been able to help Okabe with whatever he was struggling with\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand<\/i> a reference to the hostage role-playing. For years, Okabe helped his best friend deal with the death of her grandmother, and then, at the very end, she gets to return the favor and make herself useful.<\/p>\n

HI, I AM BROKEN.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Only not all the way. Not yet! THAT\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S FOR LATER! Because once Okabe loops time back again, this gets even more<\/i> upsetting. Look, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not lost on me that no matter how many times Okabe travels back in time, he still eventually<\/i> seeks out Kurisu and tells her the truth. This time, that truth is devastating and horrific for Kurisu specifically<\/i>. She now knows that the new dilemma Okabe is dealing with is her<\/i> death. I admire that the show doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t actually give us all that much in the way of her reaction to this news because it allows for some truly haunting images, like that one of her in the stairwell after Okabe goes to find Mayuri. Or the reveal at the end of the episode that Kurisu went to the scene of her murder, most likely as a means to deal with the absurd notion that she has<\/i> to die in order to save Mayuri and the world.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope that the next episode gives her more space, but I understood why \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Paradox Meltdown\u00e2\u20ac\u009d focused mostly on Mayuri and Okabe. Y\u00e2\u20ac\u2122all, how am I supposed to deal with that scene at the graveyard? SHE REMEMBERS ALL HER DEATHS, BUT THEY ONLY APPEAR IN HER DREAMS, AND OKABE CAN\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T EVER HEAR MAYURI THANKING HIM EVERY TIME HE TRIES TO SAVE HER. WHY MUST YOU HURT ME IN THIS WAY<\/b>. I just???? Am very overwhelmed by all of this???? Oh my god, Mayuri is perhaps the purest, most good character I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve ever come across in Mark Watches history? She is the personification of the Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World trope, and it just breaks<\/i> me to see her grapple with the complications of what Okabe and the others have done. Ultimately, I enjoy this because I love when grand conflicts are this intimate and this personal. There are absolutely worldwide ramifications of time travel within Steins;Gate<\/i>, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve found the show most compelling when the stakes are just about the relationship between two people, both of whom have been lonely and sad, creating a world in which they get to be happy.<\/p>\n

I am eternally a mess because of this show.<\/p>\n

The video for \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Paradox Meltdown\u00e2\u20ac\u009d can be downloaded here for $0.99<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Mark Links Stuff<\/b><\/p>\n

– My YA contemporary debut, ANGER IS A GIFT<\/a>, is now out in the world!\u00c2\u00a0<\/strong>If you’d like to stay up-to-date on all announcements regarding my books, sign up for my newsletter<\/a>! DO IT.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"