{"id":594,"date":"2011-09-15T13:00:46","date_gmt":"2011-09-15T20:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/?p=594"},"modified":"2011-09-15T12:41:16","modified_gmt":"2011-09-15T19:41:16","slug":"mark-watches-battlestar-galactica-s02e18-downloaded","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/2011\/09\/mark-watches-battlestar-galactica-s02e18-downloaded\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Watches &#8216;Battlestar Galactica&#8217;: S02E18 &#8211; Downloaded"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In the eighteenth episode of the second season of <em>Battlestar Galactica<\/em>, CYLONS CYLONS CYLONS CYLONS CYLONS. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to watch <em>Battlestar Galactica<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->BEST EPISODE OR <em>BEST EPISODE????<\/em> I can&#8217;t I JUST CAN&#8217;T. SO GOOD. SO UNEXPECTED. OH MY GOD, A CYLON-CENTRIC STORY WHERE WE LEARN LIKE 40,000 NEW THINGS AND EVERYTHING IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SOME OF IT HURTS, BUT THEN MOST OF IT DOES NOT. Oh god, this episode FILLS IN THE CYLON STORY LINE. IT IS A CYLON STORY LINE. <strong>CYLONS<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>We get to <em>watch a Cylon downloading session<\/em> AND IT IS JUST AS CREEPY AND TRAUMATIC AS I IMAGINE IT WOULD BE. We find out that SIX DIED WHEN SHE PROTECT BALTAR DURING THE NUCLEAR BLAST IN THE MINISERIES. WTF I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THIS. And she wakes up to find all the Cylon models we know of staring at her, including LUCY FLAWLESS. That&#8217;s right SHE GETS A NEW NAME because EVERY MOMENT SHE IS ON THIS SHOW, SHE IS PERFECT. Oh my god, but wait, who is that model next to her?<\/p>\n<p><strong>JESUS SHITTING CHRIST IN HEAVEN, IT&#8217;S BALTAR. OH MY GOD IS BALTAR A CYLON I WOULD <em>LOSE MY SHIT FOR A FULL YEAR<\/em><\/strong>. Oh my god wait. SIX. SIX CAN SEE BALTAR. NO ONE ELSE CAN. HOLY FUCKING PARALLEL, THIS IS NOW THE GREATEST SHOW THAT HAS EVER BEEN GREAT. OH MY GOD, HE&#8217;S LIKE A MORE VICIOUS BALTAR. Oh my god I will never get over how amazing this is, I have to propose to this show BUT WHAT IF IT TURNS ME DOWN AND THEN THAT VERY DAY I SACRIFICE MYSELF SO THAT IT CAN KEEP EXISTING.<\/p>\n<p>oh my god SIX IS A WAR HERO AND SHIT. <em>THE CYLONS HAVE <\/em><strong><em>WAR HEROES<\/em><\/strong><em>. <\/em>MY MIND WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PROCESS ALL OF THIS. oh shit WE ARE CUTTING TO SHARON AND WATCHING HER GET SHOT AGAIN <em>MY CREYS CAN&#8217;T DEAL WITH THIS oh my god <\/em>and she wakes up to fully realize that she is a Cylon. Sharon is a Cylon and she can&#8217;t deny it anymore THIS IS SOME HAUNTING SHIT, Y&#8217;ALL.<\/p>\n<p>this is the best. it is the best <em>and you cannot take this away from me.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>DOES ANYONE ELSE ASIDE FROM SIX&#8217;S BALTAR FIND IT INCREDIBLY IRONIC THAT THE CYLONS FIND THE HUMANS DESPICABLE AND UNDESERVING OF LIFE, YET THEY ARE IMITATING HUMAN LIFE TO A FRIGHTENING DEGREE? Look, yes, it&#8217;s shitty that you are building a memorial to commemorate a <em>genocide<\/em>, but I also find it bizarre that Cylons even <em>NEED MEMORIALS. <\/em><strong><em>OR GARDENS<\/em><\/strong><em>. <\/em>Or apartments! Do humanoid Cylons need to sleep? Wait, actually, that&#8217;s a silly question since they&#8217;re clearly still ruled by human biology. But if they <em>are<\/em> so different from humans in terms of their psychology, why continue to rebuild a city in the same way the humans had it before you destroyed it all? I DON&#8217;T GET YOU CYLONS.<\/p>\n<p>oh god CAPRICA SIX AND BOOMER ARE CELEBRITIES. THIS IS SO WEIRD. oh god, number Three wants Caprica Six to help Boomer transition to Cylon because she refuses to. BOOMER INSISTS SHE IS A HUMAN STILL. Or\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6well, I suppose that&#8217;s not entirely true. It&#8217;s more that she denies that she should simply give up on her experiences, that she should forfeit her emotions to the Cylon way of life. I LOVE THIS. Do we <em>need<\/em> any more proof that Cylons (at least some of them) <em>can<\/em> experience human life in exactly the same way? THIS IS ALL I NEED.<\/p>\n<p>oh god CYLONS HAVE A THING CALLED &#8220;BOXING&#8221; THAT IS NOT THE VIOLENT SPORT, BUT A WAY OF PUTTING THEIR MEMORIES AWAY AND ENDING THE REGENERATION FOR THAT SPECIFIC VERSION. <em>YEAH WHAT THE FUCK. <\/em>Who knew Cylons were imperfect? And the language surrounding it is so <em>terrifying<\/em>, because it posits that they&#8217;re nothing more than bad software. Boomer does not believe that she is <em>wrong<\/em>, and it&#8217;s the evidence we need that Cylons <em>can<\/em> have a conscience of sorts. In this case, Caprica Six&#8217;s conscience is acted out through her hallucination of Baltar. WHO SHOWS HER THAT THREE IS MERELY MANIPULATING HER INTO GETTING BOXED EVENTUALLY AS WELL. Is it jealousy? Is it the fact that even <em>having<\/em> a celebrity Cylon is problematic because it upsets the idea of the social unity that makes up the Cylon community? OH GOD, THEY ARE BOTH GOING TO GET BOXED.<\/p>\n<p>oh holy fuck in the sky ANDERS IS ALIVE. <em>ANDERS IS ALIVE<\/em>. Oh god, you are the most attractive fool ever, WHY ARE YOU GOING TO GO AFTER THE CYLONS. oh because they remember their death and you want to kill so many of them so often, they become UNABLE TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN OF CONSTANT DEATH. <em>JESUS CHRIST THIS SHOW<\/em>. also you are probably going to yell at me for this, but the actor who plays Anders looks like Dane Cook to me AND I AM SORRY IF I HAVE NOW PUT THAT THOUGHT INTO YOUR MIND AND RUINED ANDERS <em>BUT IT&#8217;S FUCKING TRUE. HE LOOKS LIKE DANE COOK<\/em>. oh god fandom put your pitchforks away I BEG OF YOU.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll make up for that by praising the fact that Anders creates a bomb trigger out of a <em>burning cigarette<\/em>. This is some McGyver shit, y&#8217;all. A cigarette and a clothespin to set off a bomb. The dude is a <em>genius<\/em>, and then this show&#8211;<em>this fucking show<\/em>&#8211;decides to contrast the unbearable tension of a Cylon Centurion walking in on Anders, and Three forcing Boomer&#8217;s hand in vacating her apartment <em>RIGHT THEN AND THERE<\/em>. Oh, this is just awful. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME.<\/p>\n<p>good christ THE BOMB GOES OFF. why OH GOD DID THEY DIE<\/p>\n<p>and if this isn&#8217;t enough to deal with, SHIT IS SO REAL ON <em>GALACTICA<\/em>. Sharon is having her child, and Dr. Cottle has to deliver the baby by C-section and it&#8217;s born premature and it has to be put in an incubator and her name is Hera, and that is so adorable I just want to pee myself with joy. except that Roslin, Tigh, and Admiral Adama think it&#8217;s real awesome to talk about Hera as if she is a <em>thing<\/em> and not a totally awesome baby that does not belong to them. I LIKE YOU SO MUCH, ROSLIN. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE DECISIONS LIKE THIS. I mean, I <em>get<\/em> the predicament you&#8217;re in, and I <em>get<\/em> that it&#8217;s entirely possible that the Cylon child is some sort of secret weapon, but WHY YOU GOTTA BREAK SHARON&#8217;S AND HELO&#8217;S HEARTS DURING THE PROCESS?<\/p>\n<p>but then SHARON&#8217;S BABY DIES BEFORE THEY CAN DO ANYTHING, and this is fucking awful and depressing and ALL OF THIS CHAOS FOR NOTHING. Sharon suspects that Dr. Cottle had something to do with this, ordered by Adama or Roslin, and IF SHE ONLY KNEW THE TRUTH OF IT. Dr. Cottle was one of the only people on her side, and he continues to be my personal hero, and goddamn it, now Helo is sending Hera&#8217;s ashes out into space and even Tyrol shows up to give Helo support and this show is making me feel everything a person can feel all at once and I just <em>overwhelmed<\/em>, okay?<\/p>\n<p>Wait. Wait. Why are you holding a baby. Whose baby is that. WHY DO YOU HAVE A BABY. WHY ARE YOU GIVING IT TO THIS WOMAN. OH MY GOD <em>THAT IS HERA. YOU LIED. YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS MADE OF LIES<\/em>. you are giving away Sharon&#8217;s child to a stranger, and yes, practically speaking, this is kind of genius? I mean, at least you didn&#8217;t kill the child, and it will have a mother, BUT I JUST HAVE A FEW LOGISTICAL QUESTIONS HERE. Ok, first of all, <em>DOES THE <\/em>GALACTICA <em>JUST HAVE DEAD BABIES LAYING AROUND? <\/em>Where did you get a baby corpse? Also WHAT IF HERA DEVELOPS SUPER POWERS OR SOMETHING. You literally know <em>nothing<\/em> about a human-Cylon hybrid baby! What if when it&#8217;s two it develops the ability to run at the speed of light? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT TO MAYA. &#8220;Oh, yeah, this child is not from a <em>Pegasus<\/em> officer. It&#8217;s a Cylon baby. Ooops! Thanks for harboring the enemy all this time.&#8221; Oh god, if Sharon finds out, SHE WILL START RIPPING THROATS.<\/p>\n<p>Which, by the way, is pretty much what her other version down on Caprica is about to start doing. Surviving the blast, Three, Boomer, and Caprica Six all have the most awkward experience imaginable. Three offers to kill Six out of mercy, since she has a dislocated knee, but Six knows that SHE WILL JUST GET BOXED. Oh fuck ANDERS SURVIVED AS WELL AND <em>THE PLOT THICKENS <\/em><strong>DUN DUN DUN<\/strong>. By &#8220;the plot thickens,&#8221; I really mean GOOD LORD THIS JUST GOT SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED. Boomer wants to save Anders, and Three sees this as further evidence of her weakness, but CAPRICA SIX SAVES THE DAY WITH HER BADASS LOGIC. and then Boomer is all FUCK U THREE I HAVE A CONSCIENCE and Three is all FUCK U, U SHOT ADAMA and then EPIPHANY MOMENT.<\/p>\n<p>What an epiphany, and what a show-changing realization this is. <em>Boomer and Caprica Six have had a different experience than everyone else<\/em>. They are literally being singled out for being <em>different<\/em>, and that difference gives them the power to possibly change Cylon culture since they are considered celebrities. <em>That<\/em> is what Three sees as a threat: these two humanoid Cylons realize that the genocide of humans <strong>WAS A MISTAKE<\/strong>. Oh my god, a Cylon said this. OH MY GOD DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A HUGE MOMENT THIS IS. <em>CYLONS CAN CHANGE<\/em>. This entire time, I assumed that there was only one possible outcome with the Cylons: they would have to destroy humanity, or be destroyed themselves. In just one fucking sentence, this show has COMPLETELY CHANGED. There are so many ways this show can go from here. OH MY GOD I AM IN SO MUCH LOVE WITH <em>BATTLESTAR GALACTICA RIGHT NOW<\/em>. I mean, it might help that Caprica Six <em>basically stones Three to death<\/em>. Setting Anders go, Six and Boomer agree that they <em>can<\/em> attempt to change the way Cylons think.<\/p>\n<p>And this joyous, fantastic moment is contrasted with Baltar&#8217;s Six, who is overcome with rage and fury at the death of Hera, who Baltar had promised to protect. She reveals that the child was meant to &#8220;lead the next generation of God&#8217;s children.&#8221; What is this prophecy??? MIGHT IT NOT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA TO REVEAL THIS TO BALTAR EARLIER THAN THIS? I suppose it doesn&#8217;t matter because Six threatens Baltar with a dire consequence of this new development: Baltar has sinned, and all of humanity will suffer God&#8217;s vengeance because of it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the eighteenth episode of the second season of Battlestar Galactica, CYLONS CYLONS CYLONS CYLONS CYLONS. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to watch Battlestar Galactica.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109],"tags":[112,115,9,110,113,117],"class_list":["post-594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-battlestar-galactica","tag-edward-james-olmos","tag-grace-park","tag-mark-watches","tag-mark-watches-battlestar-galactica","tag-mary-mcdonnell","tag-tricia-helfer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=594"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<!-- WP Super Cache is installed but broken. 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