{"id":261,"date":"2011-04-11T13:00:09","date_gmt":"2011-04-11T20:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/?p=261"},"modified":"2011-04-10T14:38:58","modified_gmt":"2011-04-10T21:38:58","slug":"mark-watches-doctor-who-the-tv-movie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/2011\/04\/mark-watches-doctor-who-the-tv-movie\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Watches &#8216;Doctor Who&#8217;: The TV Movie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In the <em>Doctor Who<\/em> television movie, the seventh Doctor is forced to land in San Francisco when the Master takes over the TARDIS. And then the Doctor is shot and then he dies and then he regenerates (into a rather fantastic new incarnation) and then everything is weird and then <em>what<\/em>. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to watch the <em>Doctor Who<\/em> television movie.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->WELL, THAT WAS STRANGE. Before I lapse into my List To End All Lists, I wanted to talk a bit about this movie as a whole. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s very good, all said, but I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t <em>hate<\/em> it. You know, had this been given a good script and not been full of so many glaring abnormalities or horrific lines, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think it would have been very far from any old <em>Doctor Who<\/em> holiday special. In fact, it sort of felt like that for me, that I was just watching an old special that was just\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6poorly written? No, seriously, most of this script was pretty darn awful.<\/p>\n<p>But I have to say, before I split this review up, that Paul McGann is <em>the<\/em> Doctor, and there wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a single moment of his portrayal that wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t an indicator that he was meant to play the eight incarnation of this iconic character. If there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s anything here to redeem this slight abomination, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s him. I know so many of us saw this movie for the first time on Saturday and I loved the moment when McGann made the comment about his shoes fitting and it felt like a hundred of us simultaneously went, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE DOCTOR.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And that was a beautiful, beautiful thing.<\/p>\n<p>So, starting off on this positive note, let me launch into a list of other things that I enjoyed about this particular movie.<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE GOOD<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>For being filmed in Vancouver, I have to say that I was impressed with how San Francisco this all felt. (I have a nitpick about this very thing, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll get to that later.) And despite that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve only lived here in the bay for eight months, the locations were ambiguous enough for me to notice that they weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t glaring mistakes, but also characteristic enough to make me <em>believe<\/em> this was San Francisco we were seeing.<\/li>\n<li>Paul McGann. <strong>PAUL MCGANN! <\/strong>I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to say anything more.<\/li>\n<li>I love that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s clear this is a continuation of the series, instead of a reboot, because we here in America are big fans of ruining <em>absolutely everything<\/em> in our own uniquely imperialistic way. So, while there is a whole lot of awful, I loved that this is the eighth Doctor, I love that Sylvester McCoy starts things off, I love the expectation of knowledge present in a great deal of the story, and I love how many things that are staples of <em>Doctor Who<\/em> are left unexplained to anyone who may have come to this movie with zero knowledge as to what this is all about. I think that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s why this all feels like a special instead of a wholly separate entity.<\/li>\n<li>THE DOCTOR IS STILL BRITISH. Am I a douche because I would feel slightly betrayed if a Doctor was chosen and the actor or actress wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t British? I DON\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T EVEN LIVE IN GREAT BRITAIN.<\/li>\n<li>Ugh, the Doctor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s choice of wardrobe in this movie is ~stunning.~ It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s weird and completely anachronistic and yet EVERY SECOND OF IT WORKS.<\/li>\n<li>TOM BAKER\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S SCARF. Omg.<\/li>\n<li>The theme music was rather great, too!<\/li>\n<li>I actually like that the movie opens with a reference to the Daleks, but then <em>doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t<\/em> ever address them again. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t feel like you should ever start with the Daleks if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to introduce someone new to <em>Doctor Who<\/em>.<\/li>\n<li>Ok, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s weird, and I do have complaints about it, but I <em>kind of<\/em> like the design of the TARDIS in the movie. It is MUCH bigger than usual on the inside and has\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.lots of rooms? Like, holy shit, it has so many fucking rooms. Which is kind of neat to be able to see? I know the Eleventh Doctor spoke openly in \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Eleventh Hour\u00e2\u20ac\u009d about the existence of a swimming pool in the TARDIS, so clearly other Doctors know just how large the TARDIS is on the inside. Basically, I think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve always wanted to see <em>more<\/em> of the TARDIS, so despite the other shit I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like about the TARDIS, I appreciated the chance to see so much more of it.<\/li>\n<li>I like the idea that sometimes the Doctor just sits in the TARDIS and reads. Seriously.<\/li>\n<li>PAUL MCGANN. Ugh, I cannot praise him enough and I cannot wait to start listening to the Big Finnish audio plays with him in them. I JUST WANT MORE OF THE EIGHTH DOCTOR, OK?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Well, I have to do it, and you better buckle in. This is going to be lengthy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE BAD<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I know I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the millionth to say it, but Eric Roberts as the Master\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6NO. NOPE. NOT AT ALL. NOT INTO IT, NOT EVEN FOR ONE SECOND. And since when could Time Lords turn into goo and possess people? UGH. NO.<\/li>\n<li>No one ever, in the history of everything, would keep a diary LISTING THEIR AGE ON THE COVER. I know that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s supposed to be a clever nod to the longevity of the series and how long the Doctor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been around, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so laughably bad.<\/li>\n<li>Chang Lee. Perhaps the most confusing character to ever grace film? Why was his face so <em>giddy<\/em> half the time? And who seriously believes another person based entirely on <em>BAGS OF GOLD DUST<\/em>. Like, if someone offered me a bag of gold dust, I would laugh in their face because <strong><em>WHO CARRIES AROUND BAGS OF GOLD DUST<\/em><\/strong>. No, but seriously, I do not understand his character or the way he is portrayed AT ALL.<\/li>\n<li>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Where we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re taking him, he better be rich.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d WHO SAYS THAT KIND OF SHIT IN AN AMBULANCE.<\/li>\n<li>What kind of person stays in a relationship with someone who is a surgeon, yet the mere act of being called in to work to save someone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s life <em>IS WORTHY OF BREAKING UP WITH THEM. <\/em>Like, if you decided to be my boyfriend (hhhhhaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy), but you hated people who spent more than an hour on the computer a day\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.WHY WOULD YOU EVEN GET INVOLVED WITH ME. THAT\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S WHAT I DO.<\/li>\n<li>On that note, what kind of surgery ward allows you to play classical music very loudly during a procedure?<\/li>\n<li>On <em>that<\/em> note, <strong>WHAT KIND OF FUCKING SURGEON IS CONFUSED BY THE RESULTS OF A PROCEDURE AND THEN <em>SHOVES THE CAMERA PROBE INTO THE BODY AS IF IT WERE A KNIFE TO A THANKSGIVING TURKEY<\/em><\/strong>. Honestly, that was one of the most glaring bits in the whole movie. NO SURGEON WOULD DO SUCH A THING.<\/li>\n<li>At no point does it ever seem to be acknowledged that Dr. Grace <strong>ACTUALLY KILLED THE SEVENTH DOCTOR. <\/strong>It wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153mistake.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She killed him! Why is no one on the staff at all aware of this????<\/li>\n<li>San Francisco is very white, sure, but even this movie goes JUST A BIT TOO FAR in terms of displaying it as nothing but white people who are rich and go to galas. Oh, and then there are gangs with guns who shoot at people all willy nilly in Chinatown? What?<\/li>\n<li>I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like the regeneration scene. Sorry!<\/li>\n<li>I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Get-On-My-Knees-And-Yell-To-The-Heavens\u00e2\u20ac\u009d scenes. Not even the Doctor can pull those off.<\/li>\n<li>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in it for me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You get to live.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d AND THEN CHANG LEE STILL GOES ALONG WITH THIS!!!!!!! WHO THE FUCK HEARS THIS AND BELIEVES SOMEONE TO BE A GOOD PERSON!!!!!!!<\/li>\n<li>When Grace was dialing for an ambulance to come pick her and the Doctor up, I commented, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153NO ONE DIALS THE PHONE THAT FAST.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sticking to that.<\/li>\n<li>Watching Chang Lee and the Master realize they were in an ambulance MANY, MANY MINUTES AFTER THEY FIRST GOT INTO IT WAS SO RIDICULOUS. I almost felt like whomever wrote that part realized it, too. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, hey, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in an ambulance, I can use that to get them out of the traffic jam!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d AND THEN THEY WROTE THAT PROCESS INTO THE FUCKING SCRIPT. Oh my god.<\/li>\n<li>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No family, no gangs\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.ONLY DEATH.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Literally the worst written line in the history of every language ever.<\/li>\n<li>I have to repeat myself. We watched Grace kill the seventh Doctor because she couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t deal with a wire camera. And then the Eighth Doctor assigns her to re-wire the TARDIS. FYI, <em>THAT IS AN AWFUL IDEA.<\/em><\/li>\n<li>OK, SO SERIOUSLY, THIS BOTHERED ME WAY MORE THAN IT SHOULD. BUT WHEN THAT ALARM GOES OFF DURING THE SCENE TOWARDS THE END AS THE MASTER\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S PLAN IS WORKING AND THERE\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE THINGY? AND EVERYONE IN THE ROOM WITH THE ATOMIC CLOCK IS FREAKING OUT? YEAH, THAT SCENE? WATCH IT AGAIN. <strong>SOMEONE IS VACUUMING DURING THAT SCENE. <\/strong>Sir, the <em>fucking world is ending <strong>MAYBE YOU SHOULD SAVE THAT FOR SOME LATER TIME <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">WHEN THE EARTH IS NOT SUCKED INTO THE EYE OF HARMONY<\/span><\/strong><\/em>.<\/li>\n<li>Hey, nanogenes! Nice of you to show up in a brilliant dues ex machina to bring back Chang and Grace.<\/li>\n<li>No, really, the entire closing 15 minutes of this movie MAKE NO SENSE TO ME. <strong>Where was the Master hiding his Time Lord outfit????????<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>How on earth did the Doctor basically romance Grace? <\/strong>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122M ALL FOR EXPLORING THE DOCTOR\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S SEXUALITY, but there was LITERALLY no exposition for their relationship. They were just\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6making out? The end?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>A last note unrelated to all of this: Time Lords have twelve regenerations available? Is this canon??? So that would mean we have\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.two more Doctors left before the end of the show forever?<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, next Monday, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be reviewing the very first serial of <em>Doctor Who<\/em>, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153An Unearthly Child.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And tomorrow, I start <em>Avatar: The Last Airbender<\/em>. Excite!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the Doctor Who television movie, the seventh Doctor is forced to land in San Francisco when the Master takes over the TARDIS. And then the Doctor is shot and then he dies and then he regenerates (into a rather &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/2011\/04\/mark-watches-doctor-who-the-tv-movie\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49,15],"tags":[66,65,48,9,18,62,63,17,22],"class_list":["post-261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-classicwho","category-doctor-who","tag-doctor-who-the-movie","tag-eric-roberts","tag-featured","tag-mark-watches","tag-mark-watches-doctor-who","tag-paul-mcgann","tag-sylvester-mccoy","tag-tardis","tag-time-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<!-- WP Super Cache is installed but broken. 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