In the fourteenth episode of the seventh season of\u00c2\u00a0The Next Generation<\/i>, a ghost candle. Honestly. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch\u00c2\u00a0Star Trek<\/i>.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n
Trigger Warning: For talk of consent, rape\/sexual assault.<\/b><\/p>\n
SUB ROSA
\nACT I, SCENE I<\/b><\/p>\n
INT. CONFERENCE\u00c2\u00a0ROOM – MORNING<\/b><\/p>\n
[WRITER #4 takes a drink of his coffee with his left hand without looking up. He continues to write with his right hand as he does so, muttering the words he is writing to himself.]<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\n“Then, Kermit the Frog turns to Picard. ‘Picard, did you mean to suggest that\u00c2\u00a0that<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0talking sandwich is an alien?’ Picard removes his sunglasses, and many of the Muppets gasped in shock. His eyes were \u00e2\u20ac\u201c”<\/b><\/p>\n
[Three other men \u00e2\u20ac\u201c WRITER #1, WRITER #2, and WRITER #3 \u00e2\u20ac\u201c all noisily barge into the room, their voices breaking the concentration of WRITER #4.]<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nGuys, can you keep it down? I’m nearing the denouement of my script, and I really want to get it right.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nCan it. We have a better idea for the next episode.
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\n(He lifts his head up from his notebook, a frown on his face.)
\nDid you all go out drinking last night?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nYou shoulda been there, man. We came up with the\u00c2\u00a0best<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0idea we’ve ever had. I really think we’re gonna knock it out of the park.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\n(Sighing loudly and putting his pen down.)
\nOkay, what is it this time?<\/b><\/p>\n
[There is a dramatic silence that last far too long, and then WRITER #3 starts to giggle, which infectiously spreads to everyone but WRITER #4.]<\/b><\/p>\n
I don’t get it. What’s so funny?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nI think we’re just pleased with ourselves.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nBecause\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6?\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\n(Spreading his hands palm out in front of him.)
\nImagine it:\u00c2\u00a0The Next Generation<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0meets\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 gothic romance.<\/b><\/p>\n
[Another silence.]<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nI really do need more than that.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nDidn’t you say that you really wished other characters got their own stories? Well, what if we give an episode to Dr. Crusher?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\n(Hesitantly.)
\nOkay, yes, that would be great. We really need to stop underusing her. But\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 a romance? Don’t you think that’s a little\u00c2\u00a0obvious<\/i>?
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWhat do you mean?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nWell, we haven’t had a Dr. Crusher episode in a while. Why would we give one of two women on the show a gothic romance story?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nOh, come on! It’s perfect for her. We’ll explore her family, she’ll discover a long-lost love, and it’ll be super creepy.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nOh. (Pausing.) Well, that doesn’t sound too bad. We definitely need to get into her history. What’s the gothic romance angle?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nGet this: A ghost has been haunting Beverly’s family for like\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 eight centuries.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nA ghost?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nA ghost.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nA\u00c2\u00a0ghost<\/i>?\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nA ghost.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nAre we\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 are we ready to experiment with another genre like that?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWhy are you not open to the possibility that we can tell stories that aren’t just hard science fiction?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nI’m not! I just think\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWhy must\u00c2\u00a0The Next Generation\u00c2\u00a0<\/i>cling to traditional notions of genre narratives all the time? Why can’t we experiment with crossovers?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\n(He looks down at his own script notes, focusing on a line about Miss Piggy and Deanna Troi enjoying a sundae in Ten Forward.)
\nI don’t think I have that problem at all.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nI think that if this really is the final season, we should be open to do anything!<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nI honestly don’t disagree with you, I swear. But how are we going to explain this ghost?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nIt’s an alien.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nDoes Dr. Crusher\u00c2\u00a0know<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0it’s an alien?\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nNot until the end of the episode.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nOkay, I admit that that’s pretty intriguing. But how is it a romance?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nOh, she falls in love with the ghost.<\/b><\/p>\n
[There is a stunned silence from WRITER #4. He taps his pen on the table.]<\/b><\/p>\n
I’m waiting for you to tell me how.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nThat’s the best part. Her family has been cursed by this spirit, and all the women fall in love with him, and she falls for the curse, too.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nAll the women?
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nWell, yeah. He’s one of those dashing European types, with long blonde-ish hair, and \u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nWell, certainly just based on the odds, at least\u00c2\u00a0one<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0of the women must not be attracted to him, right?<\/b><\/p>\n
[The other three writers laugh heartily at one another.]<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nHow does that make any sense?\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nThere’s no universal man that\u00c2\u00a0every<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0woman is attracted to.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWell, you’re missing a crucial detail: he like,\u00c2\u00a0possesses<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0these women. It’s how he stays alive.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nWhoa, whoa, we should think this through, gentlemen. Possession? How is it love if it\u00e2\u20ac\u201c
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\n(Leans across the table to WRITER #1)
\nPsst. Don’t forget about the candle.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nWhat?<\/i>
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nWell, we were thinking\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 what if this ghost was really just an anaphasic alien, and he needs some sort of object to survive in between women?
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nWhy???<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nA lot of gothic romance features haunted objects or family heirlooms that are cursed. Why shouldn’t this one have one?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nBecause it doesn’t make sense?\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWhy not?\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nDidn’t you just say that the alien can possess people and make them fall in love them? So, where does it actually live? In the person or the candle?
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nI don’t know why you’re always so concerned with the details. I think the story will be cool enough that most people won’t care.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nPlus, it’s romantic.
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nWhat is?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nWell, the thought that she keeps this heirloom, despite being warned not to, and that it leads her on this really sensual journey.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nSensual?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nSensual.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nAre we actually going to openly address sex on the show?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nI already wrote a pretty cool scene between Deanna and Beverly, where they discuss a sexual dream Beverly has after her first interaction with the ghost. It’s a chance for them to be positive and encouraging with their sexuality instead of being perpetually desexualized by the narrative.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nOh. Well\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 (He scratches his head.) That actually sounds great.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nAnd it’s right before the ghost has sex with her.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\n(Squinting.)
\nShe has sex with the ghost\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 in what form?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nIs that important?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6yes????
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nWell, I suppose she has sex with the ghost while it’s inside her.<\/b><\/p>\n
[WRITER #4 nearly falls out of his chair and knocks over his coffee in the process. As WRITER #1 gets up to get some napkins, WRITER #4 glares at WRITER #2.]<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nIs that some disgusting pun?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nWhat? No! He like\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 goes inside her body. It’s very sensual and sexy.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nThat literally sounds like the opposite of sexy. How can she consent to this if she doesn’t even know he’s an alien\u00c2\u00a0or<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0a curse?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\n(Waves his hand at WRITER #4, dismissing his words.)
\nWait until you see the scene where Beverly angrily destroys the candle.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nI forgot about the candle. Why do we need that?
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWell, it needs somewhere to store its energy.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nSo it chooses a candle?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nOf course!<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nDon’t candles melt?\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWhat?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nWhat?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nWhat?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nThis isn’t a difficult question. How does a candle last 800 years? Does the alien just\u00c2\u00a0live<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0in the candle or something?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nWell, no. Their energy is activated whenever the candle is lit.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nSo why doesn’t the candle melt?<\/b><\/p>\n
[There is a considerable silence in the room. Each of the writers looks at one another, but no one says anything.]<\/b><\/p>\n
You didn’t think this far, did you?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nI already talked to production. They’re gonna build us an old Scottish church and home just for this episode. They’re excited.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nSo you’re not going to take any of my advice, are you?
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nWhen you’re inspired \u00e2\u20ac\u201c as we were last night \u00e2\u20ac\u201c you just have to run with it, dude.\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nInspired by what?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nWell, I had this idea of Beverly burying her grandmother, only to later watch her Nana rise from the grave.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nSo\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 zombies?
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nWell, we have to have the big reveal at the end. Geordi and Data will track the anaphasic energy, and it’ll be\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 DUN DUN DUN: inside Beverly’s dead grandmother’s coffin!<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nWHY?<\/i>
\n<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nDuh, because that’s where it was hiding!<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nI thought it was in the candle!<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #2
\nNo, that’s just their energy source.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nBut how can it be hiding in the grandmother\u00c2\u00a0and<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0grossly violating Beverly at the same time?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #3
\nDude, it’s a ghost story. It’s like\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 magic or something.<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nBut you just explained that it’s an alien!<\/b><\/p>\n
[WRITER #1 slams his hand down on the table. The room goes silent.]<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nIt’s getting made. I already ran it by the bosses. Let’s just tighten up the story and get it made.<\/b><\/p>\n
[The Writers Room descends into chaos for a while, but WRITER #4 does not join in. He scribbles in the margins of his\u00c2\u00a0Muppets\u00c2\u00a0<\/i>crossover script, his face a portrait of dejection. As the rest of the team shoots suggestions at one another, there’s a lull in the conversation.]<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nHave any of you ever heard of\u00c2\u00a0The Witching Hour<\/i>?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #1
\nHmmm? What?<\/b><\/p>\n
WRITER #4
\nYou know. Anne Rice.<\/b><\/p>\n
[Silence. WRITER #1 sighs.]<\/b><\/p>\n
Nevermind. Get back to it.<\/b><\/p>\n
[FADE TO BLACK]<\/b><\/p>\n
The video for “Sub Rosa” can be downloaded\u00c2\u00a0here for $0.99<\/a>.<\/p>\n Mark Links Stuff<\/b><\/p>\n – I am now on Patreon<\/a><\/b>!!! MANY SURPRISES ARE IN STORE FOR YOU IF YOU SUPPORT ME<\/a>. In the fourteenth episode of the seventh season of\u00c2\u00a0The Next Generation, a ghost candle. Honestly. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch\u00c2\u00a0Star Trek.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[614,632],"tags":[615],"class_list":["post-5348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-star-trek","category-the-next-generation","tag-mark-watches-star-trek"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5348"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5348\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n– I\u00c2\u00a0will be at numerous conventions in 2016! Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates \/ Appearances page.<\/a>
\n– My Master Schedule<\/a> is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often.\u00c2\u00a0My next Double Features for Mark Watches will be Death Note<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0and\u00c2\u00a0Neon Genesis Evangelion<\/em>. On Mark Reads, Diane Duane’s Young Wizards<\/i> series will replace the Emelan books.
\n<\/b>-\u00c2\u00a0Mark Does Stuff is on Facebook!<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0I’ve got a community page up that I’m running. Guaranteed shenanigans!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"