In the fifth episode of the ninth season of\u00c2\u00a0Supernatural<\/i>, I just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t understand anymore. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to watch\u00c2\u00a0Supernatural<\/i>.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Trigger Warning: For discussion of bestiality. AGAIN. And homophobia??? Does it count as homophobia if it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a DOG????\u00c2\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
Again.\u00c2\u00a0Again<\/i>. This show did it AGAIN. In a world where we all had to suffer through \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Man\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Best Friend With Benefits,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d we were given yet\u00c2\u00a0another<\/i> episode that has a scene about a human having sex with a dog. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s really no context to give to the scene where Dean lasciviously leers at a poodle that could ever, ever, ever make it okay, and yet? This episode went there. It went there, meaning that someone wrote it into the script, an editor approved it, countless others did not stop it, Jensen Ackles\u00c2\u00a0acted<\/i> this, the post-production team did not take it out and here, in all its glory, I get to watch a human being stare at a poodle like he wants to fuck it.<\/p>\n
What the fuck is wrong with this show.<\/p>\n
But wait, what about a dog HITTING ON SAM? Not just any dog, but a gay dog. A GAY DOG.<\/p>\n
A \u00c2\u00a0G A Y \u00c2\u00a0D O G.<\/p>\n
I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even know how to begin to address the horrifying implications of making a tiny Yorkie hit on a human as if it is a flamboyantly aggressive gay man. Where do you start? Where do you end? Will I lose my sense of self along the way? Is this all part of an elaborate joke? This has to be, because what show would do this? What show would ostensibly see the reaction to bestiality jokes in their scripts and\u00c2\u00a0double down on it<\/i>? I never thought I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d live up to the beauty of my review for that episode, and now, here I am. This is the life that I live. I have to come up with something witty or substantive to say about\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 whatever this episode is.<\/p>\n
Is it funny? Sometimes, sure. I think that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a time-honored classic to have humans suddenly able to hear animals. (Go read Tamora Pierce\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00c2\u00a0The Immortals<\/i>\u00c2\u00a0quartet if you want something ACTUALLY GOOD that deals with this. I did it for Mark Reads. IT\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S SO GREAT.) While the writers certainly don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do anything revolutionary with the concept, there are some cute-ish moments. Dean playing fetch! Dean yelling at the postman! Some of the voices at the pound, particularly the collie! But\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 is that worth it? Do they overshadow\u00c2\u00a0Dean hitting on a poodle?<\/i><\/p>\n
Some would say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I am not one of those people<\/i>. I mean, as quite a few folks on Twitter pointed out (shoutout to @acannibalqueen and @mochachick8!) that this show won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make a main character bisexual or queer, BUT THEY CAN TOTALLY HIT ON A POODLE. TOTALLY OKAY.<\/p>\n
What a waste.<\/p>\n
Look. Even when you factor in Chef Leo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s character, this episode is like a poorly done\u00c2\u00a0Hannibal<\/i>, complete with terrible villain-y monologues, a cancer backstory\/justification (CAN PEOPLE WITH CANCER GET A GODDAMN BREAK, OKAY), and a really revolting resolution. (DO THE DOGS EAT HIM OR JUST TEAR HIM APART?) And then Sam has his neck torn open, Ezekiel arrives to heal Sam, and Sam is suddenly aware that something very impossible just happened, and yet? He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s still given lines as if he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s merely \u00e2\u20ac\u0153puzzled\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by recent events. Up to this episode, his confusion is totally believable, but he did not\u00c2\u00a0pass out here! He knew his neck was slashed, and then it suddenly wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. Why isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t he questioning this?<\/p>\n
Well, this whole episode was a mess. I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even imagine how it was pitched because if I tried to do so, that means I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have to entertain the notion that more than one person was perfectly fine with this. Can\u00c2\u00a0Supernatural\u00c2\u00a0<\/i>leave dogs alone? PLEASE? It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bad enough I opened the video with a story about my inability to function normally around dogs and then had to sit through this. Can we just let dogs have their lives? CAN WE?<\/p>\n
The video for \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dog Dean Afternoon\u00e2\u20ac\u009d can be downloaded here for $0.99<\/a>.<\/p>\n Mark Links Stuff<\/b><\/p>\n – The Mark Does Stuff Tour 2015 is now live and includes dates across the U.S., Canada, Europe, the U.K., and Ireland. Check the full list of events on my Tour Dates \/ Appearances page.<\/a> In the fifth episode of the ninth season of\u00c2\u00a0Supernatural, I just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t understand anymore. Intrigued? Then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for Mark to watch\u00c2\u00a0Supernatural.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[590],"tags":[591],"class_list":["post-4555","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-supernatural","tag-mark-watches-supernatural"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4555","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4555"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4555\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4555"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4555"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/markwatches.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4555"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n– My Master Schedule<\/a> is updated for the near and distant future for most projects, so please check it often.\u00c2\u00a0My next Double Features for Mark Watches will be the remainder of\u00c2\u00a0The Legend of Korra<\/i>, series 8 of\u00c2\u00a0Doctor Who<\/i>, and Kings<\/i>. On Mark Reads, Diane Duane’s Young Wizards<\/i> series will replace the Emelan books.
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