Mark Watches ‘Veronica Mars’: S03E12 – There’s Got To Be a Morning After Pill

In the twelfth episode of the third season of Veronica Mars, Veronica helps an acquaintance with a disturbing case while Logan sulks. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to watch Veronica Mars.

Trigger Warning: There’s talk of abortion, miscarriage, pro-life protestors, and consent in this review!

  • On of the things that this episode captures remarkably well is how a person can be haunted by a relationship. The cold open is one of many moments that show us how Veronica is coping with the news that Logan slept with Madison Sinclair during his vacation to Aspen. It’s clear that she’s projecting, that she’s imagining scenarios and motivations that weren’t actually there. She sees Madison acting in malice in these visions, and it’s understandable that Veronica would interpret it this way.
  • The writers make no qualms about portraying Madison as an awful person because she is an awful person. They even have Veronica name her issues with Madison to Logan’s face! And while Veronica is certainly jealous and has been working through some severe trust issues this season, the point here is that Logan hooked up with the literal worst person possible, the only woman around who hurts the core of Veronica Mars. So Veronica feels betrayed on such a personal level because to her, there’s only two reasons this happened: 1) Logan did it to purposely hurt her because he knew it would happen, or 2) Logan simply didn’t care. Neither option feels good to her.
  • Instead of keeping this issue between herself and Logan, Veronica seeks out a way to get revenge on Madison, who, may I remind you, is still despicable throughout this episode. But is it worth it for Veronica to dabble in this kind of vengeance?
  • Meanwhile, Bonnie, Tim’s old girlfriend, arrives and hands Veronica one of the most disturbing cases she’s ever worked. And before we talk about that, I have to gush AGAIN. Y’all, it’s Bonnie. She was in an episode this season for like three minutes, and now she gets an entire episode about her. The more I think about the way this show casts people, the more I fall deeply in love with it. Seriously, it’s so realistic it hurts. It stands to reason that as Veronica investigates more and more cases at Hearst, she’d soon build up a reputation that would bring people she met for only a few brief seconds to her. It makes this all feel so genuine, you know?
  • Anyway, Bonnie shockingly reveals that someone had given her RU-486 against her will, and she miscarried. It’s… jesus christ, THAT IS SO FUCKING AWFUL. Thankfully, the show never strays from how horrible this is, and even the final scene where the culprit is revealed is possibly the most disturbing thing here.
  • JUST KIDDING, IT’S ACTUALLY THE ASSHOLES WHO TRACK WOMEN GOING INTO THE CLINIC AND STALKING THEM AND PHOTOGRAPHING THEM AND SENDING THEM ABUSE THROUGH THE MAIL. Guess what? None of that is fiction, and it just barely scratches the surface of what some of the more extreme factions of the pro-life movement have done to honor the sanctity of human life. THEY’VE KILLED PEOPLE. HOW IS THAT FOR SOME TWISTED IRONY.
  • Sorry (not sorry), I get extremely, extremely upset about threats to pro-choice movements and access to health care, abortions or not. I’m actually researching if there’s anywhere in my county or in a nearby city where I can start being a clinic escort! (Shout out to anyone who can help me find somewhere near the Bay Area, even if it’s out in Sacramento or Merced.) Oh god, even that has been up for debate in the U.S. recently, since the concept of buffer zones to protect people seeking services was possibly going to be overturned in Massachusetts.
  • I’M ALL OVER THE PLACE IN THIS REVIEW, SORRY ABOUT THAT. Truthfully, there’s a lot going on here, too, like Keith inching ever closer to the answer in Dean O’Dell’s murder. I knew that he was on to something when he visited Mindy to ask about the cars. Unfortunately, at the time, there wasn’t a way to determine who was lying. BUT KEITH. OH, KEITH. You’re so smooth! Well, not all of the time. We’ll talk about that one scene later.
  • OKAY SO. This episode gives me the briefest, most unfair moment, which is when, for like three seconds, Dick Casablancas lets that mask of misogyny and vileness slip away and HE SHOWS AN ACTUAL EMOTION. When Veronica is upset at Dick teasing her about her latest breakup, she blurts out that Logan slept with Madison, and look at Dick’s face. It’s there! I swear!
  • Oh, Veronica Mars, please give me just a little bit more of this character. I know you’re hiding it!
  • Back to Veronica! In her investigation, she uncovers that Bonnie’s father is a big-time evangelist, and I knew that couldn’t be good. But this show has always played with expectations, and in this case, Reverend Capistrano wasn’t the one Veronica should have been focused on. It made sense for her to pursue him, since his daughter had gotten pregnant outside of a marriage.
  • But before Veronica learns the truth, she learns a whole lot more about the people around her. Like how Tim has the funniest password and desktop image in the universe. Or that Madison is still insufferable. Or that Capistrano Ministry’s CFO, Thurmond, is UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTING. (Which should have been a clue that there was something amiss here, given that Rev. Capistrano himself was kind and genuine.) Or that someone else is a witness to O’Dell’s murder.
  • SHIT WAS GETTING SO REAL AND I HAD NO IDEA.
  • And it all revolved around Space Ghost: Coast to Coast!!! Oh my god, I loved that show!
  • I also love this show, and seriously, I am so enamored with the scene where Keith and Veronica go undercover (BARELY SO) in order to find out who sent Veronica the stalker-y images of herself exiting the Neptune Women’s Clinic. First of all, CARSON DREW AND NANCY. I AM DONE WITH YOU BOTH.
  • Oh my god, look how Eddie Nettles is all cagey and suspicious until Keith and Veronica make up a story about researching a woman who might have had an abortion, and then WHOMP WHOMP. Eddie is perfectly ready to violate the privacy of someone in a heartbeat! Wow, those people are awful.
  • There are a lot of surprising things in this episode, but the re-appearance of Steve Batando and the revelation that Mindy O’Dell stopped paying him for the bone marrow that they stole is just UN-FUCKING-REAL. JUST…. WHAT THE FUCK! YOU STOLE BONE MARROW FROM SOMEONE AND HE’S CLEARLY SICK AND DOING TERRIBLY AND WHAT THE FUCK.
  • And I want to have sympathy for her because her husband was murdered, but then Keith uses this chance to peek into the garage, where he finds a piece of an eggshell on the Volvo’s windshield. OH SHIT. OH GOD, NISH WASN’T LYING.
  • Oh god, LOGAN. What a mess. I don’t mind that we see how terribly he’s doing in the wake of his breakup because while the audience is allowed to feel sympathy for him, the text itself isn’t saying we have to. Hell, even Dick doesn’t feel that bad for Logan. The beginning of that voicemail he drunkenly left Veronica didn’t help things. That’s not how you apologize! But then he gives a proper apology and OF COURSE VERONICA DELETES THE MESSAGE WITHOUT HEARING THE WHOLE THING. Oh god. Well, at least I was right about my statement that at this point, these two really can’t be together. There’s too much baggage to work through.
  • Which is fascinating because the show directly contrasts that with how Veronica sees the final confrontation between Bonnie and Phyllis. Phyllis, out of some misguided and, frankly, fucked-up love for her best friend, drugged Bonnie and made her miscarry because Tim and Dick weren’t good enough for her. The scene is so uncomfortable and intense (as it should, given what happened to Bonnie), but it’s Reverend Capistrano who is the calm one. In a moment where he could justifiably explode at Phyllis, he urges his daughter to not let anger rule her life.
  • I think that on any other show, the use of a preacher to teach Veronica about violence and anger would have come across as heavy-handed. But this show has done this all the time, and Veronica often finds direction for her own moral quandaries in the cases she works. Having Madison’s brand new car crushed, while satisfying, wouldn’t have done anything but make Veronica vindictive and mean. So she pays Weevil regardless, and asks him to leave an open can of tuna in an A/C vent instead. It’s a nice touch and a way to end this episode while forcing Veronica to think about what’s most important in her life.

The video commission for “There’s Got to Be a Morning After Pill” can be downloaded here for $0.99.

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About Mark Oshiro

Perpetually unprepared since '09.
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